IamAlexander
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I know it
Mar 12, 2015 7:24 PM
IamAlexander
7849
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hexcited
Today my girlfriend scored a freekick vs. me in Fifa. So I ended the game an the relationship. No way she learnt that shit on her own
jackhammer0027
Plot twist: she finally decided to stop letting you win
Daisydaresyou
This should be top comment. It's probably true lol.
StonerAlex
"I know it" [in itallics]. "I know it" [Bold and italics]. I KNOW IT [bold and italics].
somethingwittyandoriginal
What if it was another woman?
itsnotsciencefiction
As a girl, it's one of my great joys in life that I AlwAyS beat my SO in mario kart. He gets frustrated but also thinks it's cute.
bluedragon00
I suppose his name is Google
WholeSortOfGeneralMishMash
Did he not take the shortcut?
Killerby
This sounds just like the basketball video game one except less funny and more sexist.
deafhoney
+1 for the marshal lee
Wheresthatmeteor
Her big bro
foop09
could she have watched him take the same shortcut?? sore loser
ireadyouremailz
sooo, she's single?
TwatSprinkle
Nope ;)
cominginhot
only if Daquan is already tired of her
pyrodice
Dunno if he's getting his toaster back...
yarir
And ready to mingle
MineIsTheFury
With a username like SatansTongue, it has to be true.
DonQuixoteDonFlamingo
Just loves the taste of cocaine cola
Cabezadehuevo
This is hilarious because a girl taught me the shortcut for wario's dirt track
importvita
This...this sounds like a dirty sex reference.
AtomicDJ
At one time or another, we've all tried to go up the secret "dirt track", amirite?
mcgravin
Is "shortcut for Wario's dirt track" a euphemism for something?
43tightropes
What shortcut is this?
EikonaCloud
http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Features/2008/10/Farticle/wario%20smash--article_image.jpg
SayonaraM
Another man taught her. I know it.
theManTheyCalledJayne
That one is more of a glitch than an actual shortcut, though.
theManTheyCalledJayne
Unless this is a shortcut I'm unaware of.
PsychopompGecko
Gasp! She cheated on him!
quaggledoo
Rage quit lol
unicorndogs
No0bz lol
ireadyouremailz
she was probably like: "gg no re"
Glyd
bg
YourWaifuIsTrash
His RW: http://imgur.com/Q4x3fPQ
Soderules
Wow, just wow
Lasmodoe
Neat
smmysk8r2
And I'm just sitting here with no friends whatsoever.
thedeadmarchhare
These are the reasons why I need meninism.
aspgrabber
Chris Chan?
wildgoosespeeder
...or she is getting good at the game and you are oblivious beating her all the time as she learns. She's smart OP. Good job being a dick.
popopocelot
Yeah cuz girls can't use Google or anything....
bennux
exactly what I was thinking
Misora
And only guys know how to play video games and can teach girls how to. God forbid she played with a female friend.
TonyKappas
This is what they call a "joke"
Numuhukumakiakiialunamor
supernova215
Get over yourself you sexist dick
changingmynamerealquick
This is a satire Twitter account. It's actually one of my favorites, he's not actually sexist against girls (I'm a girl). & He's very smart
TheBarkingDead
http://imgur.com/MOtcMQK
FerociousDiglett
I feel lije this gif should end by cutting to luigi throwing a bob-omb at her.
serverhost40
XDDDDDD
GregKennedy
HIII I'M DAAAAAAISYYYYYYY
excepttheoneswhoaredead
Red shell? Banana? Bomb? Boomerang? Whatever you got, take her out!
KingVolf
Why isn't this top comment? It's perfect for this post
FuckThisThingInParticular
The gif loaded for a sec so your comment gave some expectations. I'd tell you I was not disappointed but Imgur ruined that phrase for me.
SouperScott
Because you jumped to the conclusion that it would not eventually become top comment...for some reason.
Xist3nce
I legit spit my coffee out in class. My professor is literally laughing at me right now.
walterpeck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtgSkCUMpnM
Realitea
Or you know, she could have watched a YouTube video.
TwatSprinkle
Shhhh... That's no fun.
kootiepatra
Or learned it from a female friend, who can also play and be good at Mario Kart.
ugunaeatdat
Glad you left her. She doesn't need an ass like you.
tryin2figureitout
Why's he an ass?
viptenchou
Pretty sure it's a joke.....
jmoneyawyeah
I'm I the only person who objectively believes Double Dash was the best Mario Kart?
dobbythefree
No.
kootiepatra
Double Dash was great, but Mario Kart 64 will always hold a special place in my heart.
goodguyC
I'm with you dude!!! Double Dash was amaze-balls!
Macksayev
nope, it handled the best in my opinion, love that game still
MrNailbrain
I got your back, broseidon (lord of the brocean).
UhhKhakis
Double Dash is THE mario kart
fruust
The combo character system was overpowered as fuck.
SkittleE
DD is my favorite Mario game of all time, but MK8 has an insanely close 2nd. I only have one working Gamecube controller, so I can't 1/2
SkittleE
test if DD still holds first properly. Doesn't help that legitimate Gamecube controller prices are skyrocketing lately. 2/2
EulaliaSaxons
Definitely loved it, but the bullet bike in MKWii was so good, It slowly became my preferred game :(
39supervillains
Ugh!! When 8 came out I couldn't wait to get Dry Bones back on The Bullet Bike.... But there's no Bullet Bike... Just disappointment...
EulaliaSaxons
Omg, you need to get Link's bike. So worth it. It's the closest thing to the bullet bike. Also dry bones and BB is my ideal setup too!
39supervillains
Yes! I love the Epona bike!!!
DiedAndHauntingImgur
If you had friends.
GenghisSwan
And were ready to lose them...
jmoneyawyeah
Nah, I played it alone and got really good at it! In multiplayer my sister would always play driver and I'd throw stuff
DiedAndHauntingImgur
Thats what I mean though, multiplayer was what made it the best mario kart game (at least for me).
jmoneyawyeah
oooh plus it was fun to reach out and swipe or punch other players.. Bowser doing it to Baby Mario always cracked me up
DiedAndHauntingImgur
Plus, it let you steal items from the other drivers.
FlippyPie
Definitely not the only person. So much fun that game!
OrcSkinSuit
How is this front page?
[deleted]
[deleted]
SystemPeanut
Ah I misunderstood the question. Generally when people say "how is this front page" they mean it's from reddit. Sorry, I'm mistaken.
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
It's from usersub, not Reddit
OrcSkinSuit
Posted by user IamAlexander though
ANerdsMind
Because people found it humorous and upvoted it?
OrcSkinSuit
I was just surprised because when I commented there were only a few comments and not many upvotes.
ANerdsMind
Oh my apologies. Did not know the context.
OrcSkinSuit
It's okay. Who needs context when there are arrows to fire?
TheAntiVaxer
That is worse than her suddenly better at blow jobs.
[deleted]
[deleted]
JokesExplained
I see no way this comment could backfire
SevenAngryTortoises
I mean....not all bad
MaximumZero
Isn't that a reason to keep her, though?
UglyGilly
I cried when my new girlfriend gave me an amazing blowjob. Because she was soooo good at it.... That who're
massiveschlong
this is srs tho
Shoelebubba
It's suspicious of they fumble at first then you leave for a week and they become a pro. Maybe. Who knows.
thatpooplife
I'd break up with her for pride reasons alone
antillesw
friend of mine used to practice on me so she could be good for the guy she actually liked. making out, hand, head, titty fucking etc
tryin2figureitout
So sad. Gettting closer to you, farther from him.
CharlesCopley
Best friendzone ever.
ITryToOnlyRespondInGifs
I don't believe you
antillesw
that's fine but it happened. she didn't want to have sex though cause she was saving it for him.
SilentHowling
I believe it. I dated a 19 year old when I was 28 that acted that way. In end I didn't mind. Still was a surprise.
HappyCapybara
as a girl, i actually watched porn to become better at blowjobs to surprise my BF. not all of us are lying, cheating whores.
depressinglyawesome
as a girl, Dasbett's comment was a joke but props on the bjs i guess
thiscannotpossiblygowrong
You're not? Well shit how else am I suppose to bang all the married chicks? Can't we all just be whores for my sake?
Ikillmiceforaliving
I got better at cowgirl from porn... same with bjs
SparklingCockWaffle
And I hope the man in your life appreciates that.
CarryOnMyWaywardTardis
So...just my ex then? good to know... =)
omrcz
As a man, here check this out. Your BF might love it http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/blowjobs/
Chezwyk
Giving better bjs and using shortcuts in Mario Kart are *not* the same thing. One makes you amazing, the other makes you a CHEATING WHORE!!!
MYNAMEISBRETT
One time I actually bought a book for my gf that was all about how to give a good blowjob. It was a great investment.
RedRaider93
Just let me watch if you do... ;)
Imgonnaburnonedown
Goodgirl
EdNigma
was good and what wasn't that she got to be amazing at it. Guys should learn from this. Now she enjoys how good she is at them. Win Win. 2/
ITryToOnlyRespondInGifs
Right? Like I'd go out and find someone on the side and be all "teach me, master, the secret to amazing blow jobs" lol
tryin2figureitout
That happens.
skagnificent
Never underestimate the paranoia of the insecure.
EdNigma
As a guy who's girl did this. He needs to tell you what he wants and how he wants it. It wasn't until I was brutally honest about what 1/
Bambiebunnie
1/2 I wanted that she knew to use teeth.
ITryToOnlyRespondInGifs
WHOA that escalated quickly! Ya got me
ImgurnariumOfDoctorGiraffus
I hope your bed feels lumpy and uncomfortable this evening, demon!
BigTruckRegularPenis
I like a little teeth. Not gonna get me off but I enjoy it a lot.
TheMagicalHindu
Literally laughed out loud
freegummybears
Yeah same here. That'd suck if I got dumped for doing them a favor.
HappyCapybara
i got accused of cheating on my EX from watching porn and becoming better at reverse cowgirl. It was insulting.
SunshineShannon
OHHHH. I see what you did there! >;D
NachoDawg
"them". I see what you did there you minx
Demonicpigg
I didn't dump my girlfriend when she did that. I was like when did this happen. She proceeded to show me the video. Was fun.
freegummybears
Sounds fun
corditedelite
Wait, is that a thing?
TacoMau5
Nice name may all your tacos be delish
whorlwind
unlikely, If they're cheating that much you're probably not gonna be getting blown. emotional distancing and shit.
Shlits
Unfortunately so, my wife of 10 years suddenly became better at blowjobs, I asked her where she picked up the new tips, she avoided the 1/2
Amythyst
house for the next few weeks and she turned into a giant pufferfish and oh my god it's trying to kill me, help! 2/2
KongMD
^the best timeline
Shlits
Just kidding I have no fucking clue 2/2
Pandaswillruletheworld
You had me there for a sec
FryingBaconNekkid
You son of a bitch!
IAmNotASkeleton
Just take your goddamn fake internet points.
JosephDunaravich
Brilliant