dalaimickey
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Sep 4, 2026 1:18 AM
dalaimickey
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SecurityBadger
I have a hard time with the concept of Heaven. It sounds rather boring. Makes me think that they created Hell because the ad campaign for heaven wasn't going over very well.
Margrave9000
Nothing wrong has ever had come from true believers actually trying to establish the Heavenly Kingdom of tge afterlife/end times on Earth.
wattsdass
Heaven and Hell are made here on Earth. “All the gods, all the heavens, all the hells, are within you.”-Joseph Campbell
Whitebeardthepirate
@OP all you have to remember is this. Though I don't like invoking Deshithead in florida. they were asked for their definition of woke. this is their response: “it would be the belief there are systemic injustices in American society and the need to address them.” so basically, when they say they're against "woke" it means they WANT those injustices to stay and be enforced.
dalaimickey
So true. Preach on, brother.
ionicseraph
The bible says there will be a new heaven, and a new earth. If the billionaires and evangelicals refuse to take any responsibility for the current earth, they certainly wont be going to the new one.
WebMaka
The Bible also warns frequently about the pursuit of wealth (and greed more broadly) being a gross sin and that being wantonly environmentally destructive was worthy of condemnation. The Epstein class is definitely on the chopping block come Biblical Armageddon. (What strikes me as wild is how Thiel thinks he won't in all likelihood be one of the condemned.)
TheDefective
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whereismymind86
That’s the colloquial idea of heaven, but in reality it’s far more weird and boring. It’s a state of constant blind euphoria from being in the presence of god. Like a really good heroin trip that never ends. You just sit there, in vacant inert bliss…forever. According to the Bible.
Sounds awful
whereismymind86
*in reality* according to their book, heaven us, of course not real
whereismymind86
…*is*
wejustdontknow
Religion is meant to convince the poor that they must die in order to get what the wealthy have in this life.
dalaimickey
Religion has always been about behavioral control.
Camelspotting
I'm not sure they needed much convincing.
Eyeetsass
Heaven is the illusion they sell, so you will continue to suffer their oppression. It’s the same with the turn the other cheek bullshit. All myths designed to disarm you, and allow your abuse.
spaceghoti
The way they make it make sense is because it's for THEM. Only the worthy go to heaven, and everybody else suffers in hell. That's how they want welfare and social benefits to work, so that it only goes to people who are worthy: themselves. THEY genuinely need it, everyone else is just mooching off the system.
OperatorWay
WebMaka
If you back Trump you're not an actual Christian, you're an apostate. Scripture is pretty clear on this.
MassiveCollisionY
Christian would introduce poverty to heaven.
Camelspotting
Mostly American Christians.
dalaimickey
Didn't Jesus already do that?
ricpaul
https://imgur.com/pmKRyne
KuldFyt
If we actually had that here and now, why would we shovel money at the people who promise us those things in exchange for obedience and the opportunity to be inappropriate with children?
dalaimickey
Because people are generally horribly insecure. Especially about death and the afterlife.
DaisyfromDownunder
That's explained because one of these two places is imaginary.
Durgon8tr
well the funny thing to me is that they believe that they will inherit the Earth. LOL. JOKE IS ON YOU
dalaimickey
On who? Me?
JasonThorn
Uhm, they've tried various utopias here, but they've never worked.
Because people were in charge.
dalaimickey
So? Stop trying? This doesn't mean it's okay to let things "go to hell."
JasonThorn
Accept that any utopia is doomed to fail once people are put in charge. You can run systems with a certain level of imperfection, but it will never be perfect. Because People.
Communism was supposed to be perfect, but look who was put in charge of it.
dalaimickey
Defeatism helps no one.
ExecutiveProducerWolfDyck
The christian idea of heaven is looking down on hell and watching others suffer. Don't know where you're getting this bullshit from.
cytherians
If MAGA operated on logic, they'd have booted Trump long ago...
dalaimickey
So true.
ItsACrazyWorld
"If some one thinks the only thing keeping people decent is the expectation of divine reward, then that person is a piece of shit." -True Detective
DirigibleOtter
Immanentinse the eschaton.
NemoPseudonymWuzHere
Ohhh, the MAGA-bots are angry at this one.
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ 𝒟𝒾𝑒 𝑀𝒶𝒹 𝒜𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝐼𝓉! ♥
whereismymind86
Sure seems like it, almost every comment is sitting at 0 or -1
iosa
Considering how often I see them mention getting "mansions" in heaven, I think it's more that they think they'll get to have their turn living the way billionaires are living now. That's what heaven is: being wealthy.
dalaimickey
When you're preaching to people and depending upon them for your income, you tell them what they want to hear.
Cearnaigh
Which is hilarious. The shock they'd get if they actually read their supposed holy book on a whole number of topics would generate sonic booms. When they get to what heaven actually is, according to the fairy tales, they'd ignore the texts even harder.
MyCommentsUsuallyHaveTypos
In heaven, material belongings don't exist. So if your pastor is telling you about "mansions in heaven," expect to be asked to donate "to the church" (aka, the pastor's wealth) because that's prosperity preaching, buddy.
antoinettehaupt2
This is what blows my mind, IMO everyone is entitled to their own beliefs
But to tell me I have to give you money in order to go to heaven
How come the church doesn’t pass that on to people in need?
Easy answer they don’t give flying shit.
So much for Jesus’ teachings
UserMCP
The one thing that's missing: the only people they think are going to heaven are "the right kind". They would be furious if they knew that
UserMCP
God was actually saying what he meant when he said, "LOVE EVERYBODY."
whereismymind86
God never said that…but he does order a lot of genocides in the Bible
The modern idea of Jesus is nice, but it doesn’t really line up with what’s in the book.
UserMCP
So Jesus said, "Love your neighbor," and then he told a story about how everyone is your neighbor, so... I am taking the Bible at face value when it says that Jesus was the Word and part of God and all that for this assumption.
dalaimickey
That reminds me of a joke. The punchline: "Shhh! They think they're the only ones up here."
DocFunkenstein
Also streets paved in gold.
For some reason.
CedricDur
I wouldn't conflate christofascists with regular christians.
NemoPseudonymWuzHere
I'd have an easier time of that if followers of Christ would be even the slightest bit vocal about disavowing the Supply-Side Jesus Freaks.
WebMaka
They are, they're just not loud enough to drown out the noise.
dalaimickey
Until one side flips a table over onto the other, they're the same.
CakeIsALie227
Human nature
ATastyCorpsesicle
People call human nature "naivety" and shit on it relentlessly
ATastyCorpsesicle
In other words, humans ARE inherently good, but people get jaded and forget.
Camelspotting
Most other societies at least try a little.
dalaimickey
I don't think so. More like evangelical brainwashing.
CakeIsALie227
People being greedy assholes is definitely human nature
PirateArrrgument
Evangelicals don't believe in heaven. They believe in money.
dalaimickey
Two televangelists are talking to each other about how they decide how much of their weekly donations go to God's work, and how much to keep for themselves.
First one says, "I draw a circle on my office floor. Every week, I gather all the money that was donated, throw it in the air, and everything that falls in that circle I give to God. Everything else, I keep"
dalaimickey
Second pastor says, "I too, let God decide how much he gets. Every week, I draw a circle on the floor and throw all the collected donations in the air. Whatever God catches, he can keep!"
dalaimickey
I had to split up this joke into two responses:
Imadethisaccounttopost
No, it's not that it's woke... it's that they think you have to earn it.
Which is also disgusting.
jasondeslin
No, that would be infinitely better than what they actually believe.
Their entire religion is based on the offers that it CAN'T be earned. No matter how good of a person you are, or doesn't matter.
Unless you're a member of their church, you're going to hell. Christian might include Baptist, but they don't include Christian, neither count Catholics, an vice versa.
But if you ARE a member. Go ahead a rape/steal/murder all you want, just as long as you feel bad after, it's all good.
Imadethisaccounttopost
You are quite right as well.
They feel you have to earn it and be part of their religion, though as you said, many are just right bastards in life.
Even worse, many feel that they are entitled to it, that they had earned it, though their actions contradict everything they believe.
It's just an ancient form of control.
barstr7
It's not a prerequisite that you feel bad about your sins, only that you confess to them before you are absolved of them.
Eiladar
If you really want to see how low the sweet chariot swings, consider The Elect. This was a puritan idea that everyone who is going to heaven is pre-selected before birth; however, no knows who is so blessed, and while you cannot earn your way in life, you _can_ lose that blessing through sin and naughtiness. Basically, you need to follow the rules just in case you're one of the super special people so you don't lose your golden ticket to magic land, which statistically you probably didn't have
Imadethisaccounttopost
Predestination at it's finest.
I was raised Lutheran, every sermon was how we're all going to hell. Yet if you accept Christ, you'll be allowed and reward with heaven, no matter how foul you were in life...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u1ZzWHuSU4
Eiladar
Yeah; Catholics are much the same, to the point of you being a right bastard in life, then suddenly repenting and 'accepting Christ' on your deathbed . I ad a couple of years of Lutheran education, then finished grades 2-12 in Catholic - the main thing I remember about Lutherans was that they were Catholics who didn't want to be called Catholics. As I recall, Martin Luther was appalled that his postings spawned a new religion. He just wanted reform.
Eiladar
In the first place - or alternately you bend over backwards and end up going to hell anyway.
LifeIsSoUnfair
It's why that view is heretical.
dalaimickey
What view?
foreverinchains
The heaven you described has absolutely no scriptural basis.
whereismymind86
Sure, but the scriptural version of heaven sucks too
dalaimickey
Ah. True. But keep in mind we're talking about a whole body of people who have never read the book.
ragazzino
dalaimickey
I mean, this is a meme, not an essay.
foreverinchains
It's immediately apparent upon talking to most Christians in North America that they have not read the bible.
The bible is not only a very big book, the way it is written and translated can be difficult to read, and it is also fucking 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨. It's not really surprising that people don't read it.
Most people cherry-pick a few bits that they like and base their version of the religion on that, while ignoring the rest of the book.
PineappleLoopsBroether
So what IS it? Clouds? Harps? What else?
whereismymind86
A haze of euphoric joy from being in the presence of god…basically. Like being drugged with an opiate forever.
foreverinchains
Also not having any free will, being forced to forget about anyone you cared about who didn't go to heaven, and having to constantly shower god with uncritical praise to salve his fragile little ego while singing his favorite hymn over and over.
foreverinchains
I don't remember the relevant chapter and verse off the top of my head, but if I remember correctly, it's described as sitting around god showering him in uncritical praise and singing his favorite songs over and over for eternity. Occasionally you get to look down at souls being tortured in hell as a little treat.
Also, heaven is canonically hotter than hell is. Someone did the math.
Also also, it's probably jam-packed full of Christians, so it's probably not a fun place to be.
PineappleLoopsBroether
And I’m downvoted for asking? Seems familiar to when I left the church and my family. No questions allowed.