halfway there

labor day about 18 months ago

my cutest outfit about a year ago

some time in maybe june, 2013

when i took this i was probably headed out for my day, which would include a couple hours at new york sports club. i'm a yo-yo dieter and periodically committed exerciser, and during summer 2013, i was very devoted to the gym. however, after i would get home, i'd invariably get chinese food, a sandwich and chips from the deli, pizza, whatever. for a few days at a time i'd watch my calories and fat grams (i was not, at that point, at all educated about carbs) and i would estimate i lost about 10 lbs over the course of 3 or 4 months. in late july i started going to reddit meetups and learned about the keto diet.

taken today, april 2, 2014

i started keto july 24th and weighed in this morning at either 50 lbs down, as a modest reconciliation between two scales, or 57 lbs down as a generous one. from july 24th til last week, i shot for 1200-1500 calories total regardless of calories burned; under 20g total carbs, but only carbs that were at least 50% fiber or grams that were negligible; 120g fat; 50g protein. it was wonderful in all the ways you hear about on r/keto: no hunger, more energy, no fatigue. better mood, better skin, better clarity of mind. i enjoyed my food and didn't stress about exercise. i started running 3 or more days a week and while it's not my favorite thing, sometimes i really look forward to it. i push myself with bodyweight exercises at home and try to remember to do bicep curls to manage my arm flab as i deflate. 38 lbs disappeared in 5 months, and then only 10 more over the following 3 months. i couldn't handle the stall, so i made a temporary switch to 1200 calories net; 120g slow carbs (brown rice, sweet potatoes, bread no one wants to eat (sprouted grain and 1g net carb varieties) and lots of glorious fruits) with ideally 50g fiber; upper limit of 40ish g fat; 80-100g protein. i went down 3 lbs in a week, and this morning i found this white undershirt in my closet. i've actually never worn it except in a spanx capacity, which it was not effective in. i saw myself in the mirror and saw this cute girl i've never failed to see myself as, with endearing flaws all over my body, a sharp wit, a no-nonsense attitude, and a lot of love to give. but when i saw this girl in the mirror, i saw that other people probably finally see that chick too now.