Vestara
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1530
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To preface, I have been working in a small coffee shop/cafe for the last two years. It's been a wild ride and for the most part a really fun and great job. We're no Starbucks and only generate ~$700 a day in sales with two employees per day. We are located in a hospital although we are privately owned. I have the best boss, managers, and coworkers- sometimes the customers can be crazy. I'm leaving and had my last shift so needed a place to vent what I'm sure many other baristas experience.
Honestly, drinking black coffee is not impressive and lots of people do it. There are so many people that get offended when we ask if they want room for cream and start going off on long rants. Sorry for such an invasive and offensive question!!
Super happy to make drinks just the way customers like!! A few polite words exchanged before an order makes a world of a difference. It always catches me a little off guard when an order is spurted out before I can ask what they'd like or simply how they're doing.
A small half caff skinny caramel macchiato is a lot easier to say than "double in a 12 oz sugar free vanilla with caramel drizzle non fat milk half regular half decaf" all after a big breath and asking their friend if they're ready for how extra they are hahahaha
I can not tell you how many times people would try to blame me for them running late to a meeting/appointment/work that starts in 5 minutes. Sorry but if you can't manage your time don't put that on me!!
I honestly don't even have an explanation for this one, your guess is as good as mine.
We aren't Starbucks, as mentioned- they own that name. We have in huge bold letters "blended coffee shake" idk how the menu could be any clearer
If it was supposed to be yo lazy mouth would've told me to begin with especially because it is winter and 30 degrees outside sorry for not reading your mind
HannersZ
I fell your pain,working in retail should be a requirement for everyone at some point in their lives.
IHateUsher
Are you.....are you Jimmy Carr?
Pickles2222
Jimmy Carr is a barista?
1337cat
I just can't agree with #3 I've worked food service before, and Ive been so depressed I couldn't be social. You can't demand that of ppl.
Deaderestpool
I don't know why people saying someone is acting "extra" makes me so mad. I should just go back to yelling at clouds.
skolyr
#8 Guy asked for a blended Mocha. Came to pick it up. "This is a blended Mocha? Why is it cold?" The menu clearly states: Blended, with ice.
feryooday
I worked at a non-starbucks, and the bitchy girls asking for "carmel fraps" were aids.
OfMiceAndMenus
When the hell was Jimmy Carr working at Starbucks?
adamantos
I skip all unnecessary words in the morning and just say what I want. Not trying to be an ass but I really just can't talk in the morning...
mjso23
I agree with you. Also ordering makes me anxious so I'm repeating my order over and over in my head and it just blurts out. Also, half deaf
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
And that is perfectly fine. If I did morning shifts I'd barely say Hi too, all we ask is that you don't cut us off when we do say Hi.
whatspaulplayingtoday
Man, just walk in, ask for what you want, pay, and get out. Don't be a dick.
r2linad2
What does acting 'extra' even mean?
kingj07
This post URL is beta as fuck.
eTrickyy
My dad has a cafe in a hospital too, and from experience working there i feel you
helgasinclair
I work part-time in a tea shop almost exactly the same size as this. The customers are a world of difference. It's honestly amazing.
FragileReality
I loved being a barista!!!!!!
Silliosophical
My daily & favorite customer was a bipolar 40s guy who was dropped off by his mom. Sat with us for 8 hours. We'd tip off if meds were off.
Silliosophical
He was a cool hilarious when meds were on, then slide into nutty when they were off. It was a remarkable "it-takes-a-village" thing in Miami
BoboTheIceMan
I work at a Starbucks at an Airport, all this and worse.
ruint
99% of why Jimmy Carr is funny is the fact that Frankie Boyle writes his jokes. The other 1% is his laugh, which sounds like an angry seal.
Goodwolf
Is his laugh a relatively recent thing? I saw some of his older routines and he came across as very deadpan.
ruint
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHRFJEcDRoc He's had it for as long as I can recall, but it is a lot better when he's standing up.
DickDastardly404
He doesn't really laugh at his own jokes, so you don't notice it in standup.
shhep
Eh, I'd say his stone face adds to the comedy as well.
literallymike
There is no order you can make from Starbucks that doesn't make you sound like an asshole. Mine is a tall hazelnut red-eye.
DumpITtoKrumpit
True. Wildest I will get is cappuccino, but...Venti cappuccino 120 still sound dickish. Even black coffee...Venti drip no room seasonal. Ugh
ICannotStressThisEnoughBut
"Small half caff skinny caramel macchiato" is still quite a mouthful
rockyhorrorisme
+1 for Jimmy Carr!
JustusPost
RIP Jimmy Carr. Died December 9th on GT.
matchstickmetropolis
Vestara
Lol
venra93
Fanofthegoldenpun
Argh! You made my head read all that in Jimmy Carrs voice, and now i Can't get his laugh out of my head! Thanks a lot! +1 for Jimmy Carr
jetflight
If they ever need someone to voice dying seals, all they need to do is get Jimmy Carr to laugh near a microphone.
redloki55
because he laughs on the in, not the out.
ThePrimrose
Why does he suck in air when he laughs
JudgeJudyandExecutioner
Hah hah hah hah haaaaaaah!
SilverWingsofMorning
donkey laugh! i can't tell if it's really or exaggerated
FourFiveFire
Well he's really a ventriloquist doll, so.....
trekkiedane
Same here, except: -1 for that reason
DobryPolak
*Jimmy Carr laugh.
Woffenhorst
"Ah ah ah ah, aaaah!"
DobryPolak
That's exactly how it sounded in my head. :)
ThatWierdOne
Well he does sound like a Sexual predator when laughing
MetalSkeletal
As an Aussie - Large Flat White thanks. [receives coffee in reasonable time given the circumstances]. Cheers. [Leaves without being a cunt]
TheBlueMuppet
Respectfully, what's the fackin use of bein an Ozzie if ya ain't a blaady cant?
cogs
Spent six weeks in Sydney, coffee shop in Zetland got to know me and my morning order real well. That's the sort of stuff I miss most.
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
As an aussie. I've served nearly every one of the kinds of people OP mentioned. It's usually the ones who don't speak English well though..
Highlander8795
As a Brit - Tea with milk thanks. [recieves tea very quickly because it is a teabag + hot water, mutters about price under breath] Cheerio.
Vestara
I've had people order a flat white here in the states but want it with no foam :') must be nice
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
"*but* no foam"? What? I make them with less than a mm of foam, juuust enough to cover the surface..
MetalSkeletal
That's the custom for a flat white in Aus. Just a tiny bit. Gets too hard to explain in The U.S so some people just say no foam.
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
Weirdos haha
MetalSkeletal
The most common coffees ordered in Aus are the flat white and the cappuccino. FW's have minimal foam, less than is custom for the USA.
InternationalPhoneticAlphabet
learned something new about coffee! shame though, according to wikipedia, it will be a while until it reaches Germany.
MetalSkeletal
Australian coffee culture is spreading around the world super quickly. Apparently we now have the highest standard for taste and quality.
beakindperson
I'm grateful for that! Nothing like Australian coffee. I won't drink coffee most countries overseas!
beakindperson
As an Aussie I'm genuinely baffled at the coffee culture there! Here it's 98% cappucino or flat white, the odd person might ask for soy
DumpITtoKrumpit
Second Aussie I've seen say flat white. What does that mean? What type of drink is that?
ChaosandKindness
Really fucking good.
beakindperson
The most basic coffee - plain milk no foam/froth :)
DumpITtoKrumpit
Lol ok. So, the barista's will put that in for you? America they use little cups of creamer and sugar packets. Can't stand the shit.
beakindperson
Sure will! Creamer like that doesn't exist here. No matter what you order, its always fresh milk
ChaosandKindness
Not Aussie, but a barista. In America, they're between a latte and a cappuccino. Really smooth foam, with a higher ratio of espresso to milk
beakindperson
I'm aus, a latte has the most milk, followed by cappucino, followed by flat white :)
tastelikewindexsmells
I remember when I worked at Starbucks (5 yrs) and we had this regular who always picked up the Sunday papers and would cut out all of (1/3)
tastelikewindexsmells
the coupons. We confronted her and told her she had to buy the paper first, because other customers who buy that paper may want those (2/3)
tastelikewindexsmells
coupons, as well. She threw a fit and we were told to never bother her again AND SHE GOT A FREE GIFT CARD. Of course her behavior never(3/4)
tastelikewindexsmells
stopped and OF COURSE she always tried getting her drink for cheaper than it was. We had to comply. Not a small company, but Starbucks (4/5)
tastelikewindexsmells
teaches people that being an asshole is ok. /endrant
MarlboromanMat
A person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter/service person is NOT a nice person.
gpr19
I try to be nice but I often end up spurting out my order because I've spent the last ten minutes making sure I've found the right words.
Pikkupanda
Kraken9
Saw this advice so many times I fear truly nasty person too have read this,will pretend to be good to waiters when i am around to fool me.
WGTBaal
there are also cultural factors. I always find weird in the US/Canada to be asked "how are you doing today?" It s not natural in my country.
WGTBaal
but of course I always say hi and please whenever I order though, it s common courtesy
mollywobbles
- Dave Barry, who is never receives attribution for this quote
mollywobbles
Thanks for pointing out my typo. Is made my days.
siler7
Man, I is really wanted to upvote you.
mollywobbles
Ha ha. Awesome. I missed that : /
dildobiscuit
I mean, only if that is routinely the case. You can't see someone be kinda rude to a waiter and then go 'yeah s/he's a terrible person'.
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MarlboromanMat
I agree. When I started work in 1986, 90%+ were good to you. Today, less than 30% know how to treat others with decency.
CometLaHal
damn, you must work a negative area. My pull is middling, even then most people the polite basics.
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CometLaHal
damn. if im ever there ill put nore importance behind remembering to tip.
FeversAndMirrors
I was once quite rude to a cashier. It wasn't about them, it was just the stressful situation. I did feel quilty afterwards. But I think 1/2
FeversAndMirrors
it was more of a case of being a dick for a day than me actually being Dicky McDickhead for life. 2/2
SierraTM
Did you apologise or go back the next day to apologise?
FeversAndMirrors
Nope. I don't know if I ever went back there, not because of that day, just in general I probably didn't shop there before or after.
SierraTM
Ahw that's too bad. At least it was just a bad day for you and not how you always are. Hope you're having a great day!
dontopenit
What about a person who is rude to you, but nice to a service person?
AvadonyaTheSilverGrapefruit
Well the service person have to serve me, while the one talking to me know i'm an asshole and still speak with me.
beerleagueDougGlatt
They just don't like you lol
InfraredSnapper
That's me, that's me! I use the extra niceness to waiters and such to add contrast to how much I dislike the person I'm with.
beerleagueDougGlatt
Pure evil!
seuratparrot
Tinder date abort codes.
ProjectKurtz
You're the asshole.