DarthGoodguy
105165
935
18
Honestly, can it be worse than the last six years?
Jul 27, 2022 6:07 PM
DarthGoodguy
105165
935
18
Honestly, can it be worse than the last six years?
JustAnotherCynicToo
I love how the DOOM storyline is basically: capitalism hated renewable energy so much, they drilled into Hell to avoid it.
DarthGoodguy
“The opposite of green energy: red energy!” *shareholders applaud*
flamingflamingo
Anyone notice this article is written by someone innocuously named "Damiana Lucifera?"
boobs675309
I didn't think they were, but now that Damiana Lucifera says they aren't, i'm kind of curious
Ste505
Could be worse, they could open a portal to Hull.
3rdoption
Of course not. They're working on closing the damn thing!
NoBeefMuch
LucidPariah
Sad doom noises
lightfoot2
So CERN fails again? Seriously why do we fund these chuckeheads? (/s)
The22ndDoctor
They're going to come back and say false, but people won't realize the double negative that makes it mean they are creating a portal.
yallgonnamakemelosemymindupinhereupinhere
I think they should
stopitcharlesgetoutofmyhead
Maybe they'd finally resolve gravitons if they had ball massive enough to summon Beelzebub
banelinq
This News fills me with conCERN
willpostanything
Tejler
billyjonas
Yeeeeaaahbuuuoooyyyyy
Have you heard of their new cooperation with UAC?
TheCaptain00
So excited for these new green energy alternatives.
BBQatCirces
Argent energy is a safe* and reliable* renewable energy source.
flagbasher
It's a portal FROM hell. Huge difference.
vissago
ᵀʰᵉʸ'ᴿᴱ ᵂᴬᶦᵗᶦⁿᴳ ᶠᵒᴿ ʸᴼᵁ ᴳᵒᴿᵈᴼᴺ .... ᴵⁿ ᵀʰᴱ ᴿᵉᵃᶜᵀᵒʳʳʳʳʳʳʳ
Gestalt7
Overlymoisttowlette
There it is
poronkusemania
Came to post this.
TattoosAndTENS
Damiana Lucifera?
TheGoudeAbides
As a physicist, this article is correct. There is no portal to hell being constructed. Keep scrolling.
DarthGoodguy
It’s not being constructed … because it’s already been built
MajikMessiah
That's what someone that's opening a portal to hell would say
musikaravaa
My theory is that when they amped up the power the first time we slipped dimensions, like 2012 or so. They're trying to get back now.
Noodlesocks
Ancientabs
The blood of Harambe is still on their hands
musikaravaa
It's like Sliders but global.
OMFGWhatHaveWeDONE
Going out quick might be better than watching the world slip into fascism while we crockpot our ecosystem?
suiseiseki
Just curious, but what’s the source on that gif?
OMFGWhatHaveWeDONE
sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZTgYwNYRLg
suiseiseki
Thank you!
enterusernamehere25
2023 (hopefully)
OmegaYeti
Instead, we are opening TWO portals to hell.
castamir
Do you count a Michigan-Norway route as one portal or two?
TygrF
The small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port?
MyPowerLiesInMyBookshelf
RagingNorseman
Full duplex!
PerpetuityPhoto
I mean, yeah, the collider needs to have two moving in opposite directions in order for them to... you know... collide...
certainlynotaserialkiller
Leonon
LordNoKids
TripleDane
As i Gen X. my apologies we could not fix this. many of us tried. but old white fart's power are to established.
LordNoKids
It’s okay buddy, I plan to move to a country where lobbying/corruption isn’t legal
TripleDane
but but... I moved to the US from a Scandinavian country. But i will say coming to the US has tough me a lot about what i took for granted
LordNoKids
What I meant was, I’m going to retire somewhere else. Passive income almost there.
AlcoholicsAnonymousBYO
As a just barely Gen Xer, I'd like to add to those apologies. Been exposing corruption all my working life, but it just seems endless.
castamir
Don't be racist, old black farts in Zimbabwe and so on are doing no better.
TripleDane
Point taken lol
eightyearplan
most of us have a lot of years left on earth.. shame if we spend it just yelling at the telly. Some of us are project managers..
eightyearplan
and know our way around social networks.. are all of us too anti-social to make better teams for x, y, z? surely not all.
eightyearplan
unremarkableasterisk
That's what everybody says as they open a portal to hell.
Nalianna
OddBrock
It's actually worse! They don't know where the other end of the portal is opening!
doesntmatter
We'll cry tears of regret as we accidently connect Europe directly to Ohio
Hyzenthlay021
As long as the yogurt is still in charge I'm cool with it
Brittanicus1
Love Death and Robots is an excellent series.
ministryofpeace
Instead of fighting, can't we setup a trade network? They can have the bad humans, we get geothermal power
JDemms
I dunno, Sam Elliot was pretty transparent about it in Event Horizon
khun2
Did we learn nothing from Event Horizon?
DarthGoodguy
Sam Neill died for nothing
RagingNorseman
Why not?
somnif
Basically, all the math that says they might spawn wee black holes, also says the same thing regularly happens in the upper atmosphere.
somnif
And last I checked, of the various portals to hell on earth, none up in the upper atmosphere. So, CERN is in the clear, QED.
transference
Wouldn’t be fair to hell, would it? Having to be linked up with earth would suck for them.
Adualion
Personally I think we have an equal chance of getting a better random roll on a better timeline this time. Like Roulette odds.
DarthGoodguy
FrogBotherer
With all the fire and brimstone that's pretty much limitless geothermal power right there.
GrumpySquid
They tried but the portal only opens to America ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
endfreq
"The moose outside should have told you"
mmontour
Have you looked around at the world lately? We need a portal /from/ Hell. Hurry up, CERN.
Andersen81
They can´t make the hole big enough to send Trump and his goonies back yet.
GoatanamoBay
Well, for one there is no hell and even if there was, you stll couldn't open a portal with a hadron collider
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
Messenger from the pits says "Hell's closed"
PowerPedant
Because it's already hot enough on the northern hemisphere right now.
Avsfan
How selfish of them!
Sm9yCg
Can't open a portal to a place that does not exist.
stercusmoriturussum
They can't, for various reasons.
lukelorian
It's a portal FROM hell
Klnwltrnk
Do we really need another one?
jayman0123
Because they have no interest in coming to America
RagingNorseman
It's Switzerland, Europe. Not Switzerland, North Carolina.
jayman0123
RagingNorseman
Oh. I read that as Hell isn't interested in coming to America... since the 'author's' name is what it is...
NoGunsNoCats
Yeah, we could do with a way out!
PutItInNeutral
They already did that. Now they need to open a portal back to our proper reality.
FMC01
Because if hell is real then God is real and I am not sure which news is worse.
paladindansesgirlfriend
SendMeDogs
2022 America is worse
asanaustralianwhyareyourpostsupsidedown
Because they're a bunch of nerds. And not the fun kind from those movies.
DarthGoodguy
omuaomua
this is her power
DarthGoodguy
strugglesnuggler
We're aleady here, that's be like dividing by 0
usafsmith8408
GodsWorkSon
When it's already hot and you can't take off anything else.
DarthGoodguy
strugglesnuggler
Dating from the back of a hearse, is much easier on the purse.
Plusonefortheroad
It just says that they are not, maybe they tried and found it impossible at this particular time.
DameDePiques
Actually they did open a portal, but it just led to the same place. They have not yet understood that it DID work.
RingoStarrwalker
Portal to hell turns out to be my front door. (Exiting my front door, I should clarify. In case my wife reads this. )
Plusonefortheroad
Oh damn, the twist!
Sirtopumhat
Every time we try to open a portal it opens in Sunnydale and buffy closes it back up.
verukt89
Particle-ular
Plusonefortheroad
Alright, that was just awful, +1. What are you on?
verukt89
Canadian weed lmao
Plusonefortheroad
Ah, was a longshot, but wanted to see if you made a wordplay on ion from my question. Canadian weed sounds decent too. I think us Danes
Plusonefortheroad
I mean, if it was theoretically possible, what kind of a weak ass scientist would you have to be to not at least give it a try?
mirhagk
I mean think of how much energy you could generate from the heat coming out of the portal!
Plusonefortheroad
It might even be too much if the devil has gas
ensensu
In Fallen London, London was stolen by bats and dragged closer to hell.
Zange0
Not exactly stolen, The Queen traded it for eternal life for herself and her consort.
Nivvi
"Hold on Kevin, lets just have a quick look what's there and we close it. I promise, quick in and out"
Plusonefortheroad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nx4YM-lwkg
imgrsucksass1
OP’s mom’s anus was already closed she’s ago
MakeItBackAlright
My first thought was "could they, though" and I'm glad you were right here for that
faoltastic
Sad Doom noises.
VikingYetiChef
Yeah we get space force but not a portal to hell
Gingrish
ImDavidPumpkins
It's actually a portal to the Void. They are summoning the Old Ones. Hell is childs play
PiercedViking
Look, at this point I don't think any of us are picky. Can they just hurry up with it?
Cr4zyC4tLady
Seriously. At least then we’d be at the apocalypse point where we don’t go to work anymore!
3rdoption
True. I've played with children.
LiterallyLordSatan
Hey, fuck you.
TheCrassAndTheFurious
Oh shit the portal worked !
ImDavidPumpkins
Just callin em like I see em, Dark Lord!
Sageypie
"Oh no, its real hot and scary guys are going to poke me with their big forks", pfft come back when you can shatter my psyche with your form
TheUnstoppableWampas
We are particle physicists with access to the most powerful machine ever created! We wouldn't waste time on "Hell". Let's void this bitch.
Valthek
I dunno. I read a paper by doc. Samuel Hayden that theorized hell could be used to generate infinite clean energy.
DarthGoodguy
TheUnstoppableWampas
So could a regular old star. CHILD'S PLAY I TELL YOU!