EvolvedMonkeyFlyingThroughSpace
253619
5517
184
Can't wait to be a dad : )
Apr 12, 2017 9:52 PM
EvolvedMonkeyFlyingThroughSpace
253619
5517
184
Can't wait to be a dad : )
SimplyTim88
Let that thing pop out Alien style.
capughe
My brother and SIL said my nephew was writing sigils in there near the end. 10 days overdue.
misterbookman
*fetus Just kidding. Congrats on the baby! They are super exciting and fun and exhausting all at the same time!
kissmyash
Well this is adorable
MostOfTheTimeMyGifsAreBetterThanYours
Just dont be alarmed when its a black child. Im sure its yours.
v
DranksAndDragons
That's when you find out OP is black. *laugh*
StealBeamsandJetFool
Grays @op! I just witnessed my son being born 8 hours ago. Sitting next to him now =)
EvolvedMonkeyFlyingThroughSpace
Nice. Congratulations.
FeelAPino
THIS IS ME! THIS IS US! WERE ONE WEEK OVER DUE ALSO! WTF?! THIS IS SO WEIRD!
AnahHayatee
Been there, done that. Definitely not fun, but so so worth it. Tell your wife to hang in there!
ClassifiedUsername
Absolutely love being a dad got a 1.5 year old boy!!! Congrats btw it's an amazing feeling
HereCouldBeYourName
Remember that feeling in years time!
TheAnswerToLifeTheUniverseAndEverythingIsCheese
Bless her heart! My oldest was 8 days over due that was the longest 8 days of my life!
TheAnswerToLifeTheUniverseAndEverythingIsCheese
Good luck dad!
trilith
yeah you can wait... you'd better wait.. lololol. just you wait...
PrimarchHorusLupercal
I was 2 weeks overdue and was c-sectioned out. Parents say it put me in a certain mindset which is why I still haven't moved out
CitrusSharp
I hate this whole c-section being the blame for stuff bs.
PrimarchHorusLupercal
Look, it was more of an attempted joke to find humor in the comparison of my prolonged stay in the womb and my prolonged stay at home
Nikkiaz
Lol my kid was 13 days overdue- and perpetually late for everything ;)
ImmaStealYoReactionPics
Is getting a surrogate or adopting that hard, because choosing to do the pregnancy thing sounds like lunacy to me.
ComradeJenkens
The entire child thing just seems wired to me. Like why would you throw away all your money and free time for life?
Anahatesbananas
You have to pay a lot for a surrogate, and adopting an infant takes a few years on average. I have three adopted cousins, its a long process
TheOneGamerInClass
@squadbala
IMakeBooze
GET.SLEEP.NOW!!!
declinedgrunt
I was early by 2 weeks early over 9 pounds. If I was on time, well over 11. Good thing I was early.
HighPriestOfCera
Yay no babies. I'd like to thank trojan and my horribly ugly face amen.
notacobra
Ridley scott would enjoy this picture too much for imgur community standards
ImKimJongUnAndEverythingIsFine
Lots and lots of sex will help get that baby out faster. Hop to it!!!
deathchant17
Congrats, you're already a dad! Just haven't met the lil one yet.
pwomp
I was over a week late. My mom decided to walk up and down the stairs with full baskets of laundry to induce labor.
jt7422
Girls get pregnant from holding hands right?
10tacles
Yes, and boys get pregnant from kissing.
jt7422
Oh god......
ShyTurtleKing
I was born a month early, barely weighed 5 pounds. Your welcome mom.
SendMeYourVideoGameIdeas
You got those dad jokes ready yet? Hit us with a taste.
SoMenSayThatImIntenseOrImInsane
To start contractions: sex, and especially nipple stimulation. She's probably not in the mood, but it'll help!!
pandro
Midwife "stripped the membranes," had sex, nothing worked (already over 8 lbs in utero.) Took 2oz of cod liver oil (with permission.) Labor!
UnseenUniversity
Absolutely nothing helped but oxytocin even after my waters broke. I was a week overdue too. Sometimes it just is the way it is.
UnseenUniversity
It was very annoying when people asked if I tried this or that..
lawlysmoke
massages can dispense small amounts of oxytocin :)
LivingInYourIntestines
Small being the operating word.
10tacles
That's what she said... wait!
scrubadubpupinatub
Holy shit I relate. Im due in a week. And the heartburn!!! Oh god the heartburn!!
firecutter23
Can you tell me why women tend to eat a lot of junk food while pregnant? I have a pregnant colleague and her desk is full of junk food.
scrubadubpupinatub
I'm not one to justify gaining excess unnecessary weight. But pregnancy hormones really do give women intense bizarre cravings.
firecutter23
I see, I'm not asking because of weight gain, it's because her desk is FULL of chips/cookies/chocolates/juices to an extreme point nowadays.
CerealKillerr
THE DAMN HEARTBURN! I'm three weeks away..lol
LiamKnessah
I'm there with you sister!
bopwhenitstopped
I'm due in three weeks! Ive resorted to drinking tablespoons of apple cider vinegar but now I'm dealing with the carpal tunnel!!
scrubadubpupinatub
Can't do the vinegar. Tried one shotting, diluting and mixing honey with it. Keeps coming back up :/ Now it's just grains and veggies for me
ghostToast323
Dear mom, if you're reading this I'm sorry for coming out a week late... and being 11lbs 4oz....
AutomationLayer
The harder the fuck, the bigger the baby.
KarlAnthonyTowns
Just read about a mom giving birth to a 13+ lb. baby with no epidural. RIP
ArmedSharks
Jesus Christ
ForALimitedTimeOnly
I was a month early and 1400 grams (3.06lbs), but there was two of us so it kind of events out
SnickSnackPaddyWhack
I was 4 weeks early and 8lbs 5oz. A small visit for a week because I was yellow at first (jaundice) and I'm doin' great
PrincessWasabi
Christ your poor mom lol
ghostToast323
And I'm 6'7" 280 lbs today...
BishkekBeats
Better than my situation. I was 6'7" 280 lbs when I was born, but now I'm 1'3" and 8 lbs FML
suburbia94
18 days late and 6 lbs. 7?oz. they said if I had been born on my due date I would've been 4ish lbs. no, they didn't get it wrong. Just small
SlipsOnIce
Woo, fat babies unite!
ghostToast323
I've stayed proportional to my baby size, I'm now 6'7" and 280lbs...
pookieeatworld
I was two weeks late and broke her tailbone coming out... Sorry momma...
bitchinmona
Haha my mom smoked. I was two weeks late and barely 6lbs. I've since made up for that. ):
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
Saaaaaaaame :(
amahler
My brother was a week late. And was big enough to break my mom's tailbone on the way out. She doesn't let him forget it.
Assassine
So he literally hit the door on the way out?
CHICKINGNUGGER
Oh wow! Big cuddly baby! :) Poor Mum though.
ghostToast323
I'm still a big cuddly man!
CHICKINGNUGGER
The best kind! :)
Freudy
HOLY SHIT
ghostToast323
We don't exactly make them small in my house...
YouKnowThatRandomGuyWhoLikesVikingsNamedBerzerkerlord
I was 10lbs and my younger brother was 13lbs. She got the cut your belly open twice. Sorry mom.
lncuffs
You should be! 11 lbs?!
ghostToast323
And 4 oz. ;) my brother was just over 12 lbs, but he had to be cut out
ExtraExtraUpvote
Jesus Christ m8
canadianstone
I was so similar! 2 weeks late, 10 lbs 11 oz!
ThatOneGuyWhoDoesntGetTheJoke
ghostToast323
Are you a really tall parson now as well?
canadianstone
Nope! I am a perfectly average girl at 5ft 5
HelloToe
Gestational diabetes?
ghostToast323
Nope, I'm just a big motherfucker...
MightyMorphinPowerRangers
Hey another person who has matched my mega baby status. I was so big they carried me around to show the other nurses out of surprise.
ImHereToGetDownvotes
Sounds like my brother, he came out 13lbs and change. Everyone thought he was a crack baby that had been abandoned in the hospital.
Aldante92
13 lbs 2 oz here. My poor mum heh. Thankfully I slimmed down some, and am now a healthy 230 lbs at 6'
SqueakShow
RIP your mum's vagina.
CertifiedPreOwnedButtPlug
I'm sure he did.
alwaysL8
That's a lovely pun
astrowoman
I think it's tearable...
Deathox120
aaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaa
feckr
Fryfromthefuture
youredoinggreat
literally
Blastergv9
My wife had a great pregnancy but she was over it in 9th month. Pretty much every girl i've known says fuck the 9th month
dvs2nite
my wife wasnt an angel but come month 10 i wanted out. i begged the doctor to induce but the day after the kid came anway
Wombatish
Can't be over 9th month if no 9th month
(Seriously tho, I regret missing mine + early delivery guilt is real)
keikoateme
Exactly what I was going to say!
puppiesincostumes
I seemed to be the only girl who even loved the ninth month. Loved every second. Even loved birth. I blame my hormones :)
compulsivebookhoarder
I was over it by the end of the 1st month. 3 more months to go. Ugh!
laurafoo
I had my baby 5 weeks early, and I can't even imagine what it would have felt like after 5 more weeks :/
cameraman502
I asked my friends pregnant wife how she was doing. Her response, "I'm ready for him (my friend) to join in the fun"
2NE1LSTNG
Had my son 5 months ago. Fuck the 9th month!!! Fuck morning sickness!
margarath
Easy, have a baby 4 weeks early!
newzealandisthebestcountry
More specifically, fuck the 41st week.
Faradesti
I'm so sick of being pregnant. I wanted it to be over almost as soon as it started. "Morning" sickness is a bitch.
mafartsmells
You're not wrong
Cocacoladinosaur
*woman
slightlyofftopiccommenter
It's actually the tenth month... ????
KatimusPrimeTV
I'm at the 34th week point (7 months? I don't know) and I'm done with it.
alwaysL8
I suspect that's part of nature's way of preparing you to give birth. You want pregnancy to be over so you almost look forward to birth lol
HarryPotterReferenceProbably
That's the only way I can explain the irrational lack of fear and anxiety over an 8lb baby coming out of my bits.
CitrusSharp
I was over it by the 8th month, until the moment someone bumped into the back of my car & my waters broke 3 weeks early. Induced and breech
CHICKINGNUGGER
Oh no! Was it your first baby? I'm sorry that happened to you.
CitrusSharp
First and only! Not doing that again but no real harm done :)
CHICKINGNUGGER
Good to hear that you're happy and well. :)
jovialn
Agreed. Until the 8th, it was 'this is easy', 'what is all the fuss about'. The 9th was like 'this is hell', 'get it out of me', 'I blame u'
HighlandPotatoe
I've been like that since week 4 with all the daily throwing up
Yolodog66642069
No, i think you fuck before the 1st month
alwaysL8
You can keep fucking all the way through, really...
Blastergv9
I highly recommend it actually. Pregnant women are sexy af
alwaysL8
Not to mention, you're in for a long dry spell afterwards, so get your love tank filled to the brim! (all. the. puns.)
IusedtobeapervertIstillambutIusedtobetoo
Not to mention fucking a pregnant woman is the only way you get pussy and a blowjob at the same time.
Blastergv9
Doc told us 4-6 weeks so we had 28 days marked on every calendar we had
NeerjaTripathi
Yup, can attest.
yellowlegos
But really, if you fuck during the 9th month, it can induce labor.
Scuzzellbutt
:( it didn't work for me
alwaysL8
Us either. We went lots and hard and our baby was 3 days late.
eclect0
When my wife learned this she was like "YOU BETTER BE READY TONIGHT." It was hot but also kinda scary.
BiologicallyHazardousMaterial
It was hot but also kinda REALLY FUCKING HOT* ftgy
Slydevil13
FEARECTION
v3rtabreaker
Scaroused?
chronicdiarrhea
Fear boner
Ihavewaytoomanyfavoritestosort
Wel... did it work?
eclect0
It did, her water broke mere hours after the deed.
[deleted]
[deleted]
eclect0
Hey, if she didn't mind it before she was pregnant why would she care now?
Puppysaysmeow
Clearly all the Down voters are male. Ask any woman how they feel in 9th month - answer is walrus. Source: am a woman and have had a child.
CHICKINGNUGGER
What did the comment say?
BiologicallyHazardousMaterial
Walruses have harems. I mean. Lile damn id love to be walrus. Sex nonstop dude.