doducksduck
83306
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Apr 19, 2016 4:24 PM
doducksduck
83306
2967
54
MonkeyDLuffy19
How do you like your eggs in the morning.. i like min with a kiss...(hands husband eggs)* sighs * what the fuck is that?
farfromhip
When my sister was tiny she got into our dad's stuff and brushed her teeth with his razor.
ohfudgemocha
I love how you said tiny instead of young lol
Monosodiumglutamate
I'm spending a lot of time considering women's laxatives and how they may may differ from non-gendered poop pills.
iwillpeeinyourbutt
#4 KRIS KROSS'LL MAKE YA
lovethepool
Jump Jump!
faebala
I woke up from a nap once and started dinner half asleep still. Dumped a can of cream of mushroom into a strainer and have no idea why.
Saloonist
#3 confused me for way longer than it should have
kisselFL
Now take your socks out of the washing machine and put them in the freezer.
TaintedSinner
Woman's laxative? ????
tacoparlor
Getting both shoes tied and still not noticing. Next level morning brain.
RogueTampon
Everything's a toothbrush if you're brave enough.
AceEntrepreneur
What are you waiting for OP, brush your teeth
Sciencefriction13
What's uozypm?
KelpMeOut
I'm uncomfortable because I know my brain is already working out how to recreate these images in real life tomorrow morning.
SpammyTesteri
The first picture is a Russian super hero.
masteroftwigs
I own a cappuccino machine and the other morning i frothed my coffee. It took me a pretty long time to realize how wrong that was.
CringeBinge
*puts cereal box in fridge and milk in pantry*
bozzak
Damn.. I thought these were Life Hacks.
SirLenzalot
Who says they aren't?
JapaneseStudentTadashii
Most lifehacks are just as stupid lol
420B0ngRips4Jesus69
Putting your pants on backwards makes it easier to shit through the zipper.
BlindJoe
Got all the way up to the cash at the grocery store before I realized I forgot my wallet today.
supradedupra
I've left my wallet in the car accidentally, and was like "I'll be right back". When I came back they were putting my stuff away...
supradedupra
because they said "It happens all the time and people normally just don't come back. We automatically just go ahead and start restocking."
dizzyraptor
The shoe photo is me!!!!!!!
YouMayFindThisMildlyInteresting
Those have to be from Jones.
Sparkmonkey
Yay!
RFT42
in that that's happened to you before or in that those are actually your shoes on your feet?
sporkulese
Now I must know!
Tinylittlebears
Weellllll? We're waiting.
athirdgenesis
#2 is a legit fear of mine, or at least the fear is I won't notice it until it's too late.
TamTastic182
Seriously the razor toothpaste... I can't stop cringing
celestedrake
Imagine less putting it in your mouth and more a minty fresh shave.
BloomerzUK
Beats flossing
gorgosaurusrex
Equal amounts of blood.
savemebabyjebus
done it several times, not quite into the mouth but close to it!
ThisIsEmilyPingingBackAndFlyingLikeACheeseSandwichTiedToABrick
Once almost brushed my teeth with my mascara brush.This morning I tried to fit a jar of coffee onto the kettle base.Def not a morning person
savemebabyjebus
sometimes il put the shaving phoam on the toothbrush, thats always a weird one, im like, the fuck is wrong with my toothpaste?
JustAnotherScientist
Does a woman's laxative not work on men something? Or is it just the same shut with a special name for more money
JoshLeijs
I too would like to know... Seems odd
VindictiveRidge
I guess you have to take it with yogurt. I mean, Jamie Lee Curtis won't shut up about yogurt.
me0me0me
From what I'm aware some women have problems due to their period so it may have something to do with that.
Taxicat
Slightly different dosage, sometimes different active ingredient based on how the average female vs average male metabolizes 1/2
Taxicat
medication, and the women's laxatives are allegedly gentler. Allegedly... 2/2
GoatiegoatRPH
No just advertising. It's bisacodyl 5mg. It's standardized. There is no difference. I'm a pharmacist btw. Made an account just for this.
OSPFisTheCoolestRoutingProtocol
I identify with each and every one of these.
Vlasco
That last one. I've done that before. Realized what I did before I started the pot at least. :-/
Canofminus
I can't count the number of times I've washed my hair with face wash.
squidyouknowarejetpropulsive
#6 my nose is running... Fuck! Now my ass is leaking!!
ImguriansFillMySaltReservoir
I'm safe, I'm not a woman so I'm immune right?
squidyouknowarejetpropulsive
You wish
Camelspotting
The you call in sick, perfect.
dercossack
Good morning honey, do you want a cup of egg?
n0kArma
And I was thinking I was having a bad morning when I poured orange juice in my Mug or coffee in my glass...
tacoparlor
Found a cookbook we made in 2nd grade, read to my 9yr old daughter. One kid called for a gallon of eggs and she couldn't stop laughing.
PolarHailStorm
Reading this in my mind was so casual and yet so silly I burst out laughing. Laugh of the day to you, friend!
LackToastIntolerant
I don't know how you do it Gare-Bear but that's the best cup of French toast of ever had
ToriScott
All seriousness, could be a good way to poach a damn egg
clln86
Let me know how that goes :)
ATrap
It is actually, I used to have a special mug that was wider than usual for exactly that. Worked a treat.
prettyselfexplanatory
actually though you can cook an egg in the microwave in a ceramic mug and its easy to eat on the go
Samammoth
Yes please, may I have it with the womens laxitives ?
kittennoodlesoup
I laughed and woke up my boyfriend. +1
QuantumSupersexposition
nah… just fry me up a couple orange juices
Makoisnotashark
Don't act like you don't KNOW I want a cup of egg...
ArtSparkle
With a side of womens laxitives
dercossack
I'm sorry sweetie, please don't hit me again.
Makoisnotashark
ThisIsMyWork
SgtEziosRequiem
Awesome gif, awesome movie.
Medmobster
I imagined brushing my teeth with a razor and now I have permanent goosebumps.
ikealjordan
what about shaving with toothpaste...?
becausesnakesandsparklersaretheonlyonesilike
OMFG
ArtemisOzzimmer
I made a kind of duck face expression to this. Thank you though cus I thought shaving cream on the razor. Not toothpaste. *shudder*
CheetahFart
Did you at least take a selfie?
DrexelThrash
I know, I'm so uncomfortable
EtzioActive
It feels like I have an internal chalkboard in my head that's being scraped with a few x-acto knives. Oh GOD
Filolial
Yout teeth are hard... what about shaving the flesh holding them... *shivers*
NoSleepTilBrooklyn
I put toothpaste on my husband's razor once, when I was extremely hung over. I noticed it in time, then had to sit on the floor to recover.
LeaderBeans
The dentist thought my gum line was receding before, did she?
dungeonsandsnuggles
My little sister tried to use a razor as a sucker at age 2. She was only cut a little, and was okay, but I still shudder at the thoughtof it
Imaybegotthis
I caught myself with a razor up to my mouth once. Night ended there. Straight to bed.
pleasesendcows
Hal from Malcolm in the Middle had to do it on Malcolm in the Middle in the episode where Malcolm (the one in the middle) did a prank on Hal
pleasesendcows
(from Malcolm in the Middle). Btw Malcolm in the Middle is a great show (which is on Netflix) and you should totally watch it
Huge0
How about that malcolm in the middle show? is the Malcolm in the middle on Netflix now too?
thewalkinged
Wait, what's on Netflix?
pleasesendcows
Malcolm in the Middle iS ON NETFLIX!!!!!
UrsaPsi
I imagine shaving with toothpaste and am now curious.
JapaneseStudentTadashii
Or shaving with toothpaste
nottelito
ouch
ladyramonel
I read that as "now I have peppermint goosebumps".. and yea.. hurr durr leave the blonde in the corner.
nowitsshowtime
I was drunk once and woke up with toothpaste on a razor. I never used it but still dont know if I was planning to shave or brush my teeth
thewalkinged
I read this to my so now they feel the same
corneliusgansevoort
I used to wake up with hairy teeth quite frequently back in college. A good toothrazor would have been a godsend.
Beegeezee505
My dad put old spice in a Listerine bottle when he broke the original. I didn't know, and I rinsed my mouth with Old Spice. I panicked hard.
zytz
I came dangerously close to doing this once. Now I don't shave or brush my teeth
Notaspacealien
I'm in agonizing pain at the very thought! Send help I can't stop!
Caspooky
You know what's more fun? To remove wisdom teeth they cut open your gum, cut the teeth, and pull the pieces out before sowing it back.
Medmobster
i HATE you but i upvoted.
Caspooky
Believe me, I too, am in agonizing pain at the very thought. ;P
peacocktits
You really didn't have to put that in my head, did you.
rasterblaster
Oh mercy, why did you have to say that...