Yarnabler
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Front page! Please don't send nudes. My husband might get jealous. Also, I reeeeeeally don't want to see any of you naked.
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jmacg
IIRC cement mixer trucks carry bags of sugar in case they get stuck in traffic.
cmpltkaos
#12 Gnomes, the Swiss are gnomes. The Gnomes of Zurich, to be completely correct.
ImDreamingofaShiteChristmas
Ain’t nobody sticking no sugar in no goddam concrete bah!
turbodog
But what if you added mummies to the concrete? Checkmate, atheists.
Narushima
#5 That's ironic, George Orwell himself advised to use the simplest possible words when writing.
copingcabana
Pluto is a dwarf planet. Imagine that! A whole world full of Tyrion Lannisters!
fadecomic
#7 everyone keeps forgetting generation X. We're still here, you know.
SLPsRockTheABCs
Birnam wood comes to Dunsinane...
Karsenlove
#13 I dare you to buy me a pizza.
bacchuss
Those were all great but Joseph Gordon-lovitte killed me
Octobutt
#2 reminds me of "Forgive me father for I have sinned" and "Sorry Daddy, I've been so bad"
hstein3
#7 Millennials are likely the highest percentage of deaths to opioids, so we're really not doing that great.
comingatyoulikeabeamlikearay
#7 And gen x just over here getting shit done
qussow
#1 That's actually not a bad diet.
RepostFromLastWeek
Pretty much what people have been doing for the past 10-20,000 years. Having guaranteed daily calories is pretty recent development.
HypnoChanger
They did not hold branches to trick macbeth into thinking they aren't an army. They did it so he could not determine their numbers.
araffs
Whats the tl;dr for this dump
TheMissingByte
Meh jokes
EverNotRelevant
I believe it's "Learn to read"
ouroborus777
#14 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otOSZZVo5aU
dasklaus
There's a whole twitter thread with lots of replies and additional verses. It's awesome.
SpeshalBil
Some concrete truck drivers still carry a 50lb bag of sugar in the cab in case something happens (wreck, traffic) and the concrete expires
SpeshalBil
To prevent having to clean or forfeit the drum. Source: I’m a concrete inspector
LonelyBrannigan
Pluto is a big comet with a nice orbit, go home
neverdouttheworm
Hear about Pluto? Messed up right?
CanadianFurr
VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU
ArcaneAlchemist
a dwarf planet is still a planet. it's in its name. just like a dwarf person is still a person. we have more than 8 planets.
Spetzna13
Dwarf planet: a celestial body resembling a small planet but lacking certain technical criteria that are required for it to be classed as...
Spetzna13
Such. So technically dwarf planets are not planets they just resemble planets.
ArcaneAlchemist
I t h a s p l a n e t i n I t s n a m e
Spetzna13
Y e t i t i s s t i l l n o t a p l a n e t. J u s t b e c a u s e y o u s p a c e d o u t y o u r l e t t e r s d o e s n t c h a n g e i t
eyesofaccretion
I am the very model of a cartoon individual. My animation's comical, unusual, and whimsical.
eyesofaccretion
I'm quite adept at funny gags, comedic theory I have read. From wicked puns and stupid jokes to anvils that drop on your head.
eyesofaccretion
I'm very good at fancy dances, I can even pirouette. Then smack the villain with a fish. I know my cartoon etiquette.
eyesofaccretion
I can make my face all mean and really give you quite a fright,Then make up with flowers made of real exploding dynamite.
eyesofaccretion
When in a jam, I just yell, "Stop!" and villains in their tracks are froze.Then I sneak up, and utter "Start!" and take their hands and honk
eyesofaccretion
I am quite proud to be in such a hierarch'al progeny. From Daffy Duck and Tweety Bird to Babs and Buster Bunny.