Fabulous things I've heard safety engineers say, part 2

Feb 18, 2015 6:57 PM

hotfezz

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This one's from Steve http://imgur.com/user/gtfwithyoblt

This twat blanket was serious

Engineer's reaction

Turns out there's a fair few of you out there with experience of this (near death and anecdotal...) so if you'd like, PM me and I'll include them if I ever do another one of these!

being in a room when a gas extinguisher system goes off is the most pant-shittingly-terrifying things ever.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"That room flooded in oil that we got you to clean up without providing proper PPE wrecked your boots? Use flammable brake cleaner on them."

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I work in a fab shop. There's welding and fire happening all the time. (Fab stands for 'fabulous'.)

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Electrical engineering usually has the same sort of thing, except electrocution instead of being set on fire. Or both. Usually both.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

EE, can confirm. Just built an induction furnace as a personal project -- molten copper...just like work! Both!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"For the meantime it needs to stay where it sits currently. It's a load bearing porta-potty."

11 years ago | Likes 101 Dislikes 1

I really hope you're either joking or lying.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

As a millwright I can confirm, engineers are fucking dumbasses

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

As an engineer, I can confirm engineers are dumbasses.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Dont go on the scaffold while health reps are here""Are the scaffolds legal?" "The scaffolds arent 'illegal' but they need railings"

11 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Trust me, I'm an engineer!

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Engineers appraising an old bridge in our city were quoted as saying "I can tell you it's standing, but I can't tell you how..."

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

"Yes, it would be a good idea to put the safety restraints back on the pipe before we pressurize the carbonator."

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Had a friend turn on a bunson burner without lighting the gas, left it on to walk away and get other things. This in a small room... He ded.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

No, i actually turned it of when i saw him leave it and told him how stupid he was. Its amazing some people are still alive.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

This is the kinda shit that makes me giggle so hard

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

"The building would collapse before we'd have to worry about what kind of damage fire would do."

11 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 0

Holy shit; that sounds like something like the civil engineer in twin towers would say

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

To be fair, the fire damage really isn't a concern once you pass a certain threshold of destruction.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Agreed

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

If there is a fire, due to faulty wiring or the fireworks factory downstairs, you will be incinerated....

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Hah, Eurotrip. :D

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Well, it's never made that sound before. Don't worry about it. If it explodes, you'll die instantly"

11 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 1

"Oh, it makes that noise sometimes. Just hit it with a deadblow hammer, it'll be fine."

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Doing government engineering. Said close enough for government work. He looked at me and paused. Said he never realized how relevant it was.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Automotive aftermarket: Someone's gonna find a way to break this, so how do we make it break so they don't kill themselves and bystanders?

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

The people who designed things never met the people who fix said things.....

11 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 1

Volkswagen, I'm looking at you. You should not have to remove the front of a car to do the spark plugs.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

More of a problem (and more common) is that the people who designed things never met the people who *made* said things.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

As an intern, I know this is true. I cursed at the draftspeople so many times on the plant.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

"Complexity tends to complicate things."

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Can we have a conversation about plenum space? Being concerned about toxic fumes from a fire in the ceiling just rustles my jimmies.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

As a safety engineer, I think a rebuttal is in order. 'Stupid shit I've seen people do' or 'tales of keeping the Darwin Award winners alive'

11 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Ahem to that.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I approve of this typo.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I worked next to a sign the read "DANGER: ARC FLASH" for two years before I got on safety committee and learned what it meant.

11 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Sounds like your safety engineer was doing a good job

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I work next to the power switcher stuff in my grocery store. There's all kinds of arc flash warnings on it. A technician friend told me...

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

That happened at the Morley Gallaria recently. Google it if you wish

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My friend was making safety labels for a hydro plant. "safe" radius (to have second degree burns from an arc)... 75 feet from the breaker

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The video they showed me had a maniquin poking a breaker with a screwdriver. Instantly turned its torso to carbon. Still gives me nightmares

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"It's not our fault that the server room wasn't lightning proof."

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Marconi Ltd?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

No, but it's interesting to know that this has happened to more than one company.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It was my dad doing the project.Kuwait. Something technical to do with them moving the earthing cable from where the spec put it.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"We forgot to factor in elevation, so the blimp is going to have to be a little bigger." "How much bigger?" "umm...900% bigger...at least"

11 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 1

this one made me laugh the hardest, thank you @fishflakes

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As an engineering tech in a plant that day one said "if something goes wrong, this, and a few miles from here are doomed" all my +1's!!!

11 years ago | Likes 113 Dislikes 1

"Does the chemical plant have contingencies for us?" "Oh, no, we have contingencies for the chemical plant." - Waterford 3 NPP

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That sounds about right, semiconductor plant near aluminum manufacturing, produce manufacturing, and safety gear manufacturing,all explosive

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

well at least you'll go quick if that plant goes...

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

you hope.... if you don't die immediately your're gonna wish you had within about 4-5 days

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Seriously, I went through a class on HAZMAT and saw videos in fire school, it's the worst.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

as much as i didn't like the movie, Chernobyl diaries actually portrays extreme radiation exposure pretty accurately.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

i wasn't talking about fire per say. i had the impression this was a nuclear power plant. radiation sickness from what i hear is god awful.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Its actually a electronics manufactuing plant (wafer fab), most chemicals we have here explode in presence of O2, or are toxic in open air.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

it's not just fire related hazmat, as a first responder firefighters can get called to all kinds of hazmat situations

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

As an engineer who works in a large and hazardous industry, I love these.

11 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 0

As a not engineer who works in a large and hazardous industry...Me too.

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

As an engineer that works in an industry where minimizing hazard is the first priority, I love them too.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

What hazardous industry would that be?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I work at a steel mill, very large machines, molten metal, and lots of hazardous chemicals.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I work at a steel mill, very large machines, molten metal, and hazardous chemicals.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I work at a steel mill, very large machines, molten metal, and lots of hazardous chemicals.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"What about an evacuation?" "Oh don't worry about that, our blast radius is too big for it to be effective" Conversation between officers.

11 years ago | Likes 859 Dislikes 1

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11 years ago (deleted Feb 21, 2017 3:59 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

We don't even go that far. We just laugh and walk away, laughing harder and harder the further we get until we turn a corner.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ive had this convo! "if this blows, youre dead anyways, so you might as well dance on the way out." love my job

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

"Hey, are those friendly mortars landing over there?" "Yeah" "Should we move?" "Nah, they're cross training scouts, they can't hit shit"

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I had that exact conversation in an artillery position surrounded by explosive shells during a lightning storm.

11 years ago | Likes 182 Dislikes 0

Our was between the Navs and STON officer on board during a fire in an emptied fuel tank. Fun times.

11 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 0

It's ok, they test for direct lightning strikes. Of course I'm assuming you're US military here... others aren't so lucky.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I've detonated C4 with a 9 volt battery and a stripped wire. I can assure you a lightning strike or near miss would detonate HE rounds.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

And thats why we dont use c4 as artillery shell filler, it's electronically initiated. If legitimately interested Google e3 testing.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

To be fair it's pretty unlikely that lightning would set off an artillery shell, it's unlikely enough that it would ever hit it directly.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

did u ded?

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 2

Yes, but it's okay. Heaven has good wifi.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I'd hope Google Fiber, at least.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

hmm, I had the same conversation at a power plant.

11 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

...I live down wind of such a plant. How much explode would there be, and how far would the fiery bits go?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

depends on the power plant, the one I was at had around 60,000 gallons off propane on hand, which is not very common. Most plants in the 1/2

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2/2 US are coal so the "boom" would depend on size and type of plant, also if its coal it depends on how clean they keep it.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Calculating evacuation of a city next to a nuke plant - similar dialogue.

11 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 5

So a nuclear power plant might contaminate a cities water supply or something, but it's not like there wouldn't be time to evacuate the city

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Even fucking Chernobyl wasn't like a nuclear bomb going off, it was a steam explosion caused by the meltdown. And it will never happen again

11 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

Sarcasm? Cause, you know.... Fukushima Daiichi....

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 16

nuclear reactors don't explode, that requires weapons grade uranium, WHICH THEY DON'T USE

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I didn't say explode. But the person who did said 'steam explosion.' It's a small difference, but it's certainly there.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Chernobyl was a special kind of stupidity. They didn't have the equivalent...

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Ok i can't even come up with the sheer amount of safety they didn't have. They didn't have concrete walls around their reactors.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Fukushima Daiichi released 17% that of Chernobyl, and reactor designs keep getting safer (if you morons would let them be built) 1/2

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

" (if you morons would let them be built)"

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

And I don't remember either city going up in a nuclear fireball, one doctor and one cameraman died, everyone else was a fireman or employee.

11 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Now, now. I'm pro-nuclear. I'm just saying that we (as humans) done goofed up more than once. It's not good to forget our screw-ups.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Halon *DOES NOT* kill by suffocation. When interacting with a fire, it produces HBr, HCl, and HF, which are incidentally bad for you.

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

My bad; asphyxiation and poisoning

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

Don't forget the cancer.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's ok, everyone says suffocation anyway. The important thing is, if a halon system goes of by accident, it won't kill you.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

If there's no fire, it will displace all of the oxygen. One of my friends had to be dragged out of the control room when system went off.

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Halon systems do not work by displacement and don't displace enough oxygen unless designed improperly http://h3raviation.com/support_faq.htm

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thank you for going out of your way to cut down misinformation.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Side note: HBr, HCl, and HF are solids, but you're watery. They'll touch you and turn into concentrated acid and do bad stuff. 2/2

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Holy Jeebus. I'm not sure if I'd rather be in the room on fire or the room full of incredibly strong acid. 1/2

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

So in short: don't stand around near the actual fire and just calmly GTFO, and you'll be fine.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It's the CO2 suppression systems you should be worrying about

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

explain.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

CO2 displaces oxygen - don't want to be in a contained area when that stuff goes off. You be dead. Unless of course you have SCBA.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

CO2 will displace the oxygen. You will breathe just fine, but there is no oxygen in it. You will feel like you are drowning. you will die.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

boot if CO2 is more dense, wouldn't it just sink and the oxygen would be mixed in the air above it?

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

At first, yes. Until you get enough CO2 to stack higher. And it will mix a little. After all, there is some CO2 in the air normally.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Engineers are needed. But man oh man they should work in the field more often. See how things are actually put together. RFIs for days.

11 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 2

Most of the time we don't have the budget to go out in the field except for maybe a visit or two from the PM who doesn't design anything.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm a software engineer and I can say,if there's a lot of requests for info its usually because everybody seems to do things differently(1)

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

so contextually they might even enjoy being out there to get a better idea of the efficiency/inefficiency of what they're developing.(2)

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I have a happy medium between site and office, and agree 100%. I can explain to tradies exactly why we're doing something, and know how

11 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

To call bullshit on senior managers who have their facts wrong regarding work rates etc

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Do engineers usually call us 'tradies'?

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

In Australia, everyone will call you a tradie. its just our slang. I used to be a tradie til I got my bachelors in civil eng.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

As an Aussie and training engineer, all Aussies call tradespeople "tradies", nothing specific to engineering.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The intelligence gap can be found between two pointy tufts of hair that wander around the office in an empty suit.

11 years ago | Likes 391 Dislikes 4

When the author of that strip came out against evolution, and in support of intelligent design in his work, it tainted him

11 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 9

Evolution is ridiculous, the world was clearly designed. Everywhere you look you find evidence of His Lord Noodliness. Open your eyes.

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Ramen.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Well... evolution would not have resulted in a society where the morons are in charge so I can see where he's coming from.

11 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 4

How can the societies we have be a result of anything but our evolution?

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

It was a joke that human society is so messed up that humanity couldn't have survived without divine intervention.

11 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I could see that after you explained it. But it definitely wasn't clear it was a joke based on what you said to which I replied :)

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Preeeeetty much positive he was joking in the strip you're talking about. Read his blogs and books, he shreds that kind of stuff.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Do you mean the universe donut theorom?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ummm...whaaaaaaa?

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's even in the cartoon series - dogbert and Dilbert both dismiss evolution as foolish and advocate ID

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

OMG........Do you have a link to that, perchance?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sadly I don't - I was watching the series 4 or 5 years ago on dvd. What is fact is that they said evolution was stupid and promoted ID.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I know it's 2017 but random brought me here, this iswhat he said http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Scott_Adams#Struggling_to_understand_evolution

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

At least 95% certain Scott Adams doesn't believe in ID. I own several of his books. He regularly lampoons idiotic ideologies and religions.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1