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His Own Room
Our family of four lives in a one bedroom apartment and have been doing so for the last 3 years. Its doable as my two children are only 2 & 4. But lately my 4 year old has been drawing his own room and asking both my husband and I when he could have his own room. Unfortunately, with my husband fresh out of college with a minimum salary supporting all of us it hasn't been the easiest to move out, as moves tend to be costly.
Well, a close friend of us gave us their old toddler bed and we created a corner "room" for my son, and he was so happy and thanked us for such wonderful "room". He said he was going to make phone calls to his friends in his own room and just planned out how he was going to decorate it.
At that moment I felt so blessed yet embarrassed at the same time. I always complained and compared my life to everyone else who seemed to be doing so much better, and never really counted the blessings in my life. I wanted to never forget this moment and thought id share this.
EDIT* The amount of support that I'm getting is indescribable and I want to thank everyone for their own stories that truly motivated and inspired me to be grateful for every minor/major thing in my life!
Imakesandwiches
You're making it work @OP. You do the best you can with what you have. Never be embarrassed for doing your best.
Ganseblumchen
Never downvote making do. Good job mom and dad. Congratz little guy!
Batman90
To you it might just be a corner, but to him that's his castle! Keep it up!
TheDreaded1
At the START of and END of each day, they cherish you. You are part of them. Do all you can for them and know that you're RESPECTED for it.
TojS
Beautiful. And true. Innocence and awe of the youth.
Haydanas
What's to be embarrassed? You're kids are happy and loved.
BoopBoopDEEDoop
I fell into some bad times myself Op and I'm in the same situation basically with my 4 yr and 18 month old. Good luck I'm rooting for you.
mynameisminerva
My family of five lived in a one bedroom house for twelve years. It kept us close. Very sweet idea for his own "room".
lifeisapicnic
I slept in a dresser drawer the first two years of my life. We lived in a van for a while. Little guy is just fine. You guys are champs
springelmogizmo
no reason to feel embarrassed.
themostawesomestnobody
My wife and I where in one bedroom apartment. We gave our daughter the bedroom and we made the living room our 'room'
sandibebop
I have a one bedroom for me& my son. He has the bedroom, I sleep on the couch in the front room & we share the closet in his room. It works.
AnnieBahde
You can't put a price on love and support. It's hard not to compare yourself to others, god knows I do. What a lovely family, best wishes!
TinaBelchersMagicalEquestranaut
This is one of those blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of moments, even though it doesn't seem like it now. I'm glad you can enjoy it!
hugzncuddles
This, this, is damn good parenting. Your kid doesn't see making do, they see their room. And it's enough.
tankdog420
Yea good parenting, keep popping out babies when you dont have the room for even 1.
violetpolkadots
No one knows their future. You can have a child then lose your job. Don't be so quick to judge--they are providing, that's all that matters.
tankdog420
When you take a picture and post it online, that gives me the opportunity to judge. This fuck head sucks at decision making.
violetpolkadots
?? I'm saying don't judge their current situation as if it was entirely up to them. You don't know, so don't be an asshole.
tankdog420
Good thing what you say doesnt matter either.
slypeppa
We have a 1 bedroom to and cut off a section of the living room for my nephew. He loves it.. never had his own shit before...
ImJustinSane
Kids just need you to love them, they will adapt and overcome any other problems.
jackhaughey
In London people pay £300 a week for that room...
SolipsisticSelfAggrandizement
Made me chuckle, also, so true :/
railgin
Keep it up- interesting side note privatized sleeping is mostly a western phenomenon. 50% of the world sleeps communally
DarkerSavant
It's not a western phenomenon, it's because of poverty you loon.
plastikman
And here I am worrying about going from a 3bd/2ba to a 2bd/1ba with just me and my 7yr old son. Perspective man.
StuckInBetweeen
Someone always has it worse so be grateful for what you have and consider the small things a blessing ^^
plastikman
For reals. But then again, I told that to my ex, and I guess that's why she's my ex.
Mexrose75
@OP- in Highschool the richest girl was the most miserable. she complained about her family being annoying. It seems they were distant. 1/2
Mexrose75
2/2 - sadly she ended up killing herself. You have something special and don't let wealth fool you.
Necromater
I came from very humble beginings too. When the good times come, and they will. Your family will be able to properly appreciate it.
loony23
The fact that he is thrilled and most of all THANKFUL for this tells me you're winning at parenting. Keep it up!! (Coming from a teacher)
tankdog420
It means the kid is used to not getting anything. Wtf is wrong with everyone supporting this obvious neglect.
IspeakFrench
Neglect?! Are you fucking kidding me?! They're doing a great job at keeping their kid happy in a shitty situation. That is not neglect.
tankdog420
A great job?! A child is sleeping in a 2x5 foot area! You are a fuckin moron....lol wow
UnicornEatingHamSammich
I don't think you have a firm grasp on what neglect really means. These parents do all they can for their children. This child is fortunate.
tankdog420
I promise you the state would think otherwise. This mother fucker probably fears the dcfs everyday.
zatgal
Wow. You're a Legendary boss level ignorant cunt.
tankdog420
And arent you just a special little snowflake
BritishCanadianinTexas
bullshit
BritishCanadianinTexas
As someone who worked closely with child services no one would have a problem with this.
violetpolkadots
Since when does the state (or anyone) require all children to have their own room? Many siblings share a room even with rich parents.
tankdog420
Not in a 1 bedroom apartment! Jesus christ you people are dumb. This pos barely did shit and is looking for a pat on the back. Its pathetic
UnicornEatingHamSammich
You have zero idea what you are talking about. The state would see this as compassionate parenting. Having $ does not = great parenting.
tankdog420
Its fucking illegal you dumbass. 3 kids living in a 1 bedroom apartment is illegal.
loony23
Don't make promises you can't keep. I am trained and mandated to report child abuse/neglect when I suspect it. This is not it.
AluminiumFalcon
Well, here come the down vote fairies to kick the shit out of me, but you could get a job to help out.
SolipsisticSelfAggrandizement
You're not wrong, sir.
SomeGeographer
I'll admit that I thought this as well, but it may very well be cheaper for one parent to work rather than pay childcare costs.
AluminiumFalcon
Ah, true true.
smurfster
That's why you work separate shifts.
SolipsisticSelfAggrandizement
Or just don't spawn kids till you know you'll be able to take that responsibility financially.
kivalo
That's what me and my wife do. I work midnight-8 am and she works 4-11pm. w/ a 1 and 4 year old we don't get much sleep though...
SomeGeographer
Not all people get that luxury or choice. My fiancé & I both have solid day jobs in our career field. Can't afford daycare, so no kids yet.
flapperfemmefatale
*doesn't require you to have an established career.
flapperfemmefatale
yeah but it's not exactly difficult to pick up a third-shift position at the gas station that doesn
SomeGeographer
It is when you have two parents working full time already that come home to a child. Or do you not understand how sleep and exhaustion work?
SpectieWoW
If you get to the point where his income needs to go up, tell him to sell cars if he has the personality. Long, crappy work but can provide
ItsAGameOfSchlongs
Okay, im gonna come right and says this, OP. How much for the child?
DobbyIsMySpiritAnimal
So many.
[deleted]
[deleted]
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
30 what?
walterpeck
HOW MUCH FOR THE WEEMEN
TheyScratchedMyWatch
I want to buy your girls
Natatha
Sell me your children!
bloodhoundgang
rudejohn
How much for your wife? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
bloodhoundgang
Properwarhawk
He'll appreciate his humble beginnings when he gets older. My parents had a 12,000 dollar a year income and had 4 kids. I know that I do.
topherrobin
Me too. My mom's family helped raise me and they supported us until I was 16. I joined the mil, got out and stayed in my field 1/2
topherrobin
& by god/universe's grace, making salary I never imagined. I certainly appreciate things more, and their love was really the key, not $$ 2/2
topherrobin
but having money is definitely helps. Allows me freedom to do things, and being able to treat my family is a huuge ++ 3/2 I'm grateful...
PoeKneeTa
Love and money trumps love alone. I joined the military after leaving high school and I got to say life is much better without money issues.
BruiseSpringsteen
Completely agree! My parents earned a shitty income with 4 kids and it completely changes your perspective about money etc
PoeKneeTa
How long ago we talking about?
therearenotenoughusernames
Oh my goodness, that must of been rough, my single mom with me and my brother made around 20000 and I know it was really hard on her
lsteamer
They cut the gas and mom prepared different sandwiches every day.Looking back, I had a fucking good childhood. Money was tight, love was not
Equanimous
That's such a great outlook. Did you ever feel judged by friends, neighbors, etc?
OSCgal
For me: not until we moved to a nicer neighborhood. When all your neighbors are poor, you don't mind being poor too.
GodSiege
I know the feeling. If you went through it, sorry, man.
tangybreath
We used sheets as curtains. I remember my mom hearing the neighbors laughing. She was so embarrassed, she saved up for curtains.
Equanimous
Sorry to hear your mom felt humiliated by those vile people. But sounds like no matter the circumstance you're all way better people for it.
tangybreath
Thank you :) i certainly learned to be responsible with money. And what my mom couldn't give in possessions, she gave in love.
PedestrianElectrobastard
Why would he appreciate it? I had a similar upbringing, and I thoroughly resent my parents for having children they couldn't afford.
ThatIsMyPassword
Being poor with bad parents, good parents, and great parents are completely different experiences. I'm assuming he ended up a lucky one.
topherrobin
excellent point
lumpyspaceprincess222
Same. I love my parents but i don't think they tried hard enough in the financial aspects of their lives.
topherrobin
sometimes they don't know enough to do better
ImAfraidYoureAllPsychosSoIMadeThisAccount
Some, like ourselves, work from home making less than we could, in exchange, we have time with our daughter, never daycare.
RadicalDud
Humans aren't designed w/ instincts 2 go 2 uni. Breeding is their instinct & kids can be made on accident. You should appreciate their love.
ImAnOrava
wow you sound like fun at parties.
IFuckingLoveGoldenRetrievers
You sound like you dont know when to shut up and listen.
PedestrianElectrobastard
I mean, I suppose you could beat him until he develops Stockholm syndrome. That seems to be the standard in large parts of the world.
violetpolkadots
Allows you to see people for who they are, not just their possessions or skin color or background. Often you learn to cook from scratch. 2/2
LetMeTellYouHowIPlannedToKillYouBeforeYouEscapeMrBond
My start in life wasn't the best. However now because I learned to live frugally I'm actually reasonably off.
violetpolkadots
Coming from a poor background can teach you a lot. Makes you appreciate what you have. Teaches you to be innovative and make things work. 1/
dudewheresmyname
2 kids
StrawberryAlarmClock
How exactly does a family of 4 fit in a 1 bedroom apt.? Not a criticism or anything, it's a genuine question.
StuckInBetweeen
My family of 5 lived in a one bedroom apartment. It's common in Asian cultures, I had a great childhood regardless. Parents worked hard.
lumpyspaceprincess222
Yes but what were the sleeping arrangements, is what we want to know? We once had 9ppl in 3br house, 1 bathroom for almost a yr????
StuckInBetweeen
2 beds in bedroom, mom and sister on one, my brother and I on the other, dad on sofa bed in the living room. Eventually I shifted to
StuckInBetweeen
Sleeping on the floor of the living room on a makeshift bed.
guysimhungry
Also bunk beds are your space saving heroes. Sorta.
karasueve
If you can spare it, get a sheet and tack it to the wall around his "room"(like a tent). It will definitely help him like he got more space.
karasueve
Also,good on you for doing all you can in your situation....
HeWhoFriesTheBacon
Do not feel embarrassed this is what family is about, sticking together and being strong. You guys are champs!!
thatwastooclose
I shared a room with my siblings until I got to high school,bunkbeds all the way, times are tough,kids may not get it now but theyll underst
JoEllenM
Me too. It's not what you spend(or can't) on kids that matters to them. It's your love and attention. You're doing great!
bobyran
How many times have you heard the stories of families with loads of money but no love... You are doing great in my book.
Vandaliam
I'm going through a divorce and your comment just made me terribly sad. :-(
Zidlickymyclitsome
Agreed! My mom grew up extremely poor in Fiji and her aunt offered to take her youngest sister to raise as my grandparents didn't have 1/2
Zidlickymyclitsome
much means at the time to raise their six children, my grandpa refused and said no matter what their family would always stay close and 2/3
Zidlickymyclitsome
together. Years later they all moved to Vancouver and all brothers and sisters became successful and forever cherish the times spent 3/4
Zidlickymyclitsome
with 4 sharing one bed or 6 of them sharing the meat of one chicken. Wealth in love! (Sorry didn't make those numbers work hah)
ozzycats
Yeah OP, keep raising them the way you do. You're a winner..
DickChaney2
I didnt have a bed for a few years. No ac or heater or fireplace even. Electric was on and off. My mom eventually got us out of poverty
FryingMonkies
I approve this message
noisebeforecoffee
When I was little, we didn't have much $ & when all the girls in my neighborhood got their cabbage kid dolls to play with (1/2)
noisebeforecoffee
(2/3) I ran in & got my cabbage kid bank. My mom sat down on the couch & cried, but I was totally happy with what I had.
HolidayMaker
What's a cabbage kid bank? (sorry for the odd question, I'm not from America)
noisebeforecoffee
I should have written Cabbage Patch Kid. It was a doll line in the 80's. They had a weird story about having been born in a cabbage patch.
OSCgal
I'm assuming it's a piggy bank in the shape of a Cabbage Patch Doll.
noisebeforecoffee
(3/3) I didn't know until years later that it upset her. And I never felt like I was going without anything.
NoDramaForThisLlama
I can't be the only one thinking its selfish to have kids when you can't afford to give your children a good life.
Synai
Or complaining about others having it better than you when you're not worknig.
SolipsisticSelfAggrandizement
Or that, yeah.
PhotoSmart
I never want to mention it because usually the parents have good intentions, but i feel the exact same way.
MaRask
I'm disturbed by the number of people that agree with this. Raising a child well comes from meeting their needs, and giving plenty of love
MaRask
...having less is not an indication of a bad childhood. Lots of toys and big houses are not what matters in the long run.
turtledove929
I agree, and felt bad looking through the comments for someone else who felt the same. .___.
SolipsisticSelfAggrandizement
Same.
PolishPancakeWithCanadianMapleSyrup
My sis is wealthy and has 2 asshole kids. They're the "my dad is a lawyer" and dont use the signal on their BWM type. So define good life?
melveys
Not everyone has the same definition of "good life".
PolishPancakeWithCanadianMapleSyrup
I totally totally agree!!! Im okay financially with 2 amazingly humble kids. My sis is wealthy with 2 asshole kids. To each their own.
IridescentLotus
Life happens, it's what you make it. I'd rather it be poor and love them than rich and and abusive
ZombieSteve
Right there with you. Downright irresponsible to have kids without financial stability just because you want kids. 1/2
ZombieSteve
If you're barely scraping by as 2 people, there's no reason to assume it's going to be better with 4.
SolipsisticSelfAggrandizement
Amen.
Mirasol
Having a lot of money does not equate a good life.
paddington
At least he has a bed and a roof, hell he's lucky he is even alive lol. When it comes down to it we're just animals anyways.
ImAnOrava
materialism is destroying you. you can live a good life with very little. i don't envy you.
HavingABadDay
Are you saying that a 4-year-old is having a bad life because he doesn't have his own room?
lemonfluff
Well it sounds like they are extremely poor and he really wants his own space so probably.
melveys
My daughter has her own room but she'd like a bigger one and her own bathroom and walk in closet. Kids always want more than what they have.
lemonfluff
I understand your point though.
lemonfluff
"kids always want more food" but that's different from not getting enough.
MaRask
You are making a jump from not having his own room to not having food on the plate...
lemonfluff
Yes but wanting some space where you can be yourself, especially if you're an introvert can be a pretty basic need. That's like saying /2
violetpolkadots
Sometimes you have kids and then get unlucky with finances. 18 years is a long time, a lot can happen to you. What's important is providing.
ICanSeeForever
True. But if the husband is fresh out of college that makes it sound like broke AF students had 2 kids. Condoms are like 25 cents each...
violetpolkadots
First of all, condoms are NOT infallible. Also, he may have gone to college after kids to provide better.
Marclivis
He could have gone to college later in life BECAUSE they had kids and he wanted to be able to support them better.
DickDraper
"fresh out of college" with 2 kids already.. how old is he? Better yet, why do you have 2 kids that you can't really "support" financially?
SolipsisticSelfAggrandizement
Asking the important questions.
DickDraper
Surprised this didn't offend someone. Since you know, imgur = tumblr nowadays. Improperly cared for children is what's really wrong with USA
SolipsisticSelfAggrandizement
yeah agreed. That's how Trump supporters are brought up.
DickDraper
Not even close..