AgreeingToTermsOfService
165330
3625
70
Sep 3, 2017 6:15 AM
AgreeingToTermsOfService
165330
3625
70
Sirducky20
Is your dad Ron Swanson?
rookiefdb
WHERe is the chip
hansolongdingdongtralala
SlavicMusk
I wish someone would send me money instead of those bank threats.
AtheistNotAntiTheist
Gentlemanriot
My first thought was yer dad was Ron Swanson.
hotterdog
his dad is hatching a plan.
anselmobell
The Hachet by Gary Paulsen awesome book that's basically the beginning now get on a biplane
SunshineTKE
Ooo and Estwing! I actually have that same one!
realmonster
Send him a bigger axe
GhostRing
Send one of the dollars back for good luck
Gopher1964
Dad has good taste. That's an Estwing.
CaviarBurrito
I have that same axe! It is beautiful, and weight is nice to, but the handle has a finish that makes it difficult to grip when cutting wood.
pachyderm
lol.lol.lol.
seanvt
He just wanted a second set of prints on the murder weapon
pareidoliaperson
He's got that caps lock jammed down on him in real life, what did you expect he'll send?
fadecomic
Whoa. My dad sent me a set of knives for exactly the same reason. The internet constantly shows me how similar people are...
theedragonlady
Better than my dad who can't really send a dollar to begin with :o
Mythis
Return mail him a fire axe and keep it escalating
TheTimesTheyAreAChangin
Amazon.com
kidafrika2020
I like your dad.
LetMeTellYouHowIPlannedToKillYouBeforeYouEscapeMrBond
How do I get him to send me an axe?
stoler202
Piss him off, and he'll send it flying towards you. Be sure to dodge the jumper cables first.
GenericFacebookComment
Fall out of his mother's butt
ILikeLeagueofLegends
*front-butt
RepostMalone
Women have two butts? And they give birth from a different one?
ILikeLeagueofLegends
Yea, poop out the back butt and fuck in the front butt.
TheRicM
Just axe him politely
Haiddon
fun fact: this was actually the creator of the webcomic "manly guys doing manly things" that received this hatchet from her dad.
ippikiwoof
I remember a lengthy thread regarding "Ax" last time this came around.
idrinkcheapbeer
Melanorosaurus
Is your dad Ron Swanson?
Wobbixx
Better than my dad. He shipped me jumper cables last week, and told me to beat myself. Then he flew to my city to beat me with them anyways.
FiddlerofFate
He obviously sent you the axe to see wether or not you are with him or against him bury the axe if you want peace send it back to him if war
DogBoobs
Wait, do ameticans call it an AX? Was it not called an AXE?
TheHelleri
Like most character dropping in American English it likely comes down to space conservancy on a printing press.
ThenILickItOff
Same reason we make our tea with salt water
HowardMoonsHotpants
:D
waspentalive
Wait - Boston Harbor is salt water?
PatchouIi
As an American I more often see it spelled axe, and I spell it that way.
DoctorVainglorious
Wait, do nameless ghouls call them "ameticans?" Are they not Americans?
DogBoobs
TheHelleri
Lmao... Keep that Estwing tho. They're good value hatchets.
ImAStupidMoronWithABigButtAndItSmellsAndILikeToKissMyOwnButt
I have one!
blackobluna
Conversely, some of them are also total shit.
DumboFighter
THEY'RE GOOD HATCHETS BRONT!
xj4low
Looks like it has a pretty handle.
TheHelleri
They are very comfortable as well.
rogueJ
Not just good value they're excellent tools, their hammers are fantastic too
TheHelleri
Value is usefulness vs. cost. The higher the usefulness and the lower the cost. The greater the value.
rogueJ
TheUglyGuy
Got one that's almost 50 years old.
TheHelleri
Is it still in good condition? The older ones are even better if they aren't wrecked. Leather stacked grips can be a bitch over time.
TheUglyGuy
Fair. The grips are starting to fail. I don't know any way to make them good again once the leather dries out and cracks apart.
TheUglyGuy
I'd post a picture, but I'm moving and have no idea where it is right now.
TheHelleri
Really you don't. You just replace them. You can buy pre-cut handle stacks online in different sizes.
TheUglyGuy
Good to know. I may re-con it when the handle actually breaks up.
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
I got one that's 87 years old. Been sharpened so many times it's just a pocket knife with a huge handle.
Assfullofbread
Show me
para9
http://leonardoflores.net/3345/wp-content/uploads/sites/15/2015/11/post-38723-Morpheus-show-me-gif-Imgur-KFiG.gif
worb84
$40 for USA made hatchet is a fantastic deal
aPokal
Had a colleague who was into knifes. Had a saying that the quality difference between 5€ and 50€ is bigger, than 50€ and 500€.
HtCtiwtchyk
$5 practically guarantees that the product will be made using only spit and driftwood. Makes sense.
TheHelleri
I like that so much that I am going to steal it.
aPokal
The principal of diminishing return. Like ants are proportionally stronger or the income/happiness curve. Good enough is often better.
thehungryguy
there is a few exceptions, as a knife guy he should know about Mora knives. Amazing carbon steel knives for around $10
whourpapa4
.
worb84
Word. Mora Comoanions rule!
5po0ky
Yeah, with hammers and axes you want a, um... Hardwood shaft. It dampens vs a metal one that carries the forces directly to your hands
Karr
Agreed with @TheHelleri I had one of those hatches growing up... Was very nice, good weight without being too much and low transfer shocks.
TheHelleri
Generally yes. But these are an exception. The diamond shape of the shaft doesn't efficiently move kinetic energy down it's length...
TheHelleri
And the grip is stacked leather. Which serves to dampen any potential shock. I've had and used these at many points and never had an issue.
TheHelleri
Vaughan framing hammers (I believe that company was the first to do a metal shaft) would be another example of an exception to the rule.
artdecoasfuck
I'd rather have a full tang and never have to worry about the head flying off.
thehungryguy
get a good quality head, it is easy to replace the handle. Bent metal handle? your screwed, broken wooden one? just swap it out
artdecoasfuck
Depending on context, sure. If there's a general store with replacement handles nearby, it's a cinch; if you have to whittle a new (1/3)
artdecoasfuck
handle with your pocketknife, it becomes a significantly larger time sink. For me personally, having been annoyed with many a loose (2/3)
Mrdj362
Fun fact - most axe murderers start out with hatchets and work their way up.
RepresentativeOfNorway
Fun fact - You can also build up an immunity if you do that!
ThunderChief00
It's a well known gateway axe.
TurderKing
And some work their way up to 12 inch black dildos.
v
ILikeLeagueofLegends
GoodOlZR
It's a gateway tool.
Ghostsandwitch
True but those that stay with the hatchet simply find that they just could not hack it...
toasteheh
Whats up from the axe?
Mrdj362
Steamroller, apparently
ThisIsThePlaceWhereIBelong
How do you axe murder a hatchet?
Earlkay
Useful tip- if on a spree kill hit people with the blunt end. It will still kill someone if they're struck on the head but won't get stuck
Mrdj362
Makes sense. Thanks for the pro tip.
everypostepic
Not sure if son is the murderer, or dad just got rid of evidence.
jrgowe126
No we don't. Wait..... Fuck.
Sh0ckedExpression
I always thought they started with the feet and then worked their way up...
whatcaniwriteinhere
That was fun
wafflepuffball
Level up. You gained Therapy
Aslatra
Well you know, it's like anything. You want to dip your toe in the water, get a feel for the activity before you seriously invest in it.
BrianDD
Fun fact, most serial killers start out by killing small animals.
Mrdj362
Thanks for keeping it real
johnnyratbastard
Surely an axe is a clumsy way to murder someone. I mean, it makes a hell of a statement, but so would a steamroller.
viaovid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D9v0dfa6AI
LincolnSiixEcho
Have fun swinging a steamroller
raosion
Careful, you'll start a Jojo reference.
HarshMallowz
Kemyo
Benmaks
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/195/575/abf.jpg
TapiocaMartini
I don't know. Ol' honest Abe didn't seem to have a problem.
BananaParagon
Murder via steamroller takes a lot of set-up time. Axes just split things apart exceedingly well, and magnify a lot of force.
AtomicPotato7
That sounds like a quote
johnnyratbastard
Well, the police have it in record. Let's leave it at that.
BobbyBobbston
Well now it is one
ChameleonFacedGoon
"Surely an axe is a clumsy way to murder someone. I mean, it makes a hell of a statement, but so would a steamroller." Now it is one
johnnyratbastard
Johnnyratbastard 2017
MidlandRedux
I killed a raccoon with an axe, once. Could not have gotten a steamroller that far back in the woods to the garbage dump.
TheOfficialBuzzKillington
It is clumsy and don't call me Shirley
Harryurhandsrfreezing
MiddleName
Wryyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
ProfessorMatt
A cute girl in high school once asked to borrow my hatchet for her Halloween costume. She wanted to be a Playboy bunny serial killer. 1/2
ProfessorMatt
2/3 I advised her to keep the safety guard on. She took it off. Twenty stitches to her calf later, turns out I should have also advised
ProfessorMatt
3/3 her not to swing it underhand. Moral: People do dumb things to impress the opposite sex. If you're lucky, there's no body count.
moonshadowkati
Who swings an axe underhanded? Why? How, even?
ProfessorMatt
I know, right? That's why I didn't think I had to warn her...