iloveknives
91159
2436
34
Via Shit London (literally!) On FB.
Aug 26, 2020 9:40 AM
iloveknives
91159
2436
34
Via Shit London (literally!) On FB.
Jaqdakloun
People can be shitting sometimes.
EvilWaffle
Wow. We live in a world where we srsly have to put up a sign to tell people not to shit in public. I cant even
fencer1964
Automatic camera and an Only Fans account. Boom, instant money.
Jamnew60
How sad is it that you would have to leave a sign like this for an adult .
4merGOP
No excuse, but she might possibly have Crone's disease and would prefer pooping at home if she had control over her bowels.
SinisterBillMurray
@1whatisahandle I think they're onto you
metalmoco
That’s MFD! (Malicious Fecal Distribution) Heard the term on the news in Albuquerque
A1V1
Again, nothing about Lewis being seen at that spot.
mysobriquet
Must be an shitty run
Dexteroakley5399
Yes literally!
commentisrelevant
I once stayed overnight in my car in croyden once. In the morning I found 3 burnt out cars within 100m, same car park. fuck that place.
gibsonbenusarmy
She obviously has the runs...
Hiyeeee
Listen, I get it. The stair master always made me need to poop desperately within 5 minutes. Know your body, map out toilets if needed.
PuppyDontCare
Also she could've just bring a bag with her like any dog owner and throw it in the trash.
Hiyeeee
That would probably mean acknowledging this embarassing behavior.
youcancallmesusanifitmakesyouhappy
Because dropping trou and popping a squat in public isn’t acknowledgement enough lol
BannedB4
https://static3.therichestimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Mikael-Ekvall1.jpg
pmjensen22
https://gawker.com/what-happened-to-the-runner-who-shit-himself-during-a-h-1681442684
Frothington
The Rise of the Poo Joggers.
isitmyturn
Small patch of grass in Hampstead. Sign: "please do not let your dog make a mess here. This includes the lady with the dalmatian."
skinny87
What park in Croydon? Asking for a friend...
assmaster4000
Lloyd park, next to the junkies.
skinny87
cptmaj
Tell your friend we are perverts.
skinny87
everbanega
Park Hill you reckon?
gudkrish1337
How did they know it was a girl ?
sluggingsausages
Shit post
drunkbs
l009
It's Croydon, wouldn't expect any difference.
Khoshteep
Feminine poop?
BeanMugged
Phantom Shittress
XANDERcylinderPANTS
Had a phantom pooper in high school. Came in to the gym one morning and right in the middle of the court, pile o’shit. He had struck again
texabilly71
GnomeDeGuerre
*KLONK* - .......... DAMMIT Marge, again?
AlkeneThiol
Hey man. I eat a lot of veggies. And sometimes a poop knife would be really useful
texabilly71
AlkeneThiol
Yeah i eat big meals because I try to do IF. And so ill eat like a pound of spinch at a time (it shrinks a lot when you cook it). So... yeah
RyanHaynes
I guess you could say she... had the runs
CrossBetween
Jill The Ripper
EruditeLeanings
A bad day she's Jill The Dripper
TheyCallMeRoy
Rippin fat loafs inna woods
Dexteroakley5399
Jill the crapper
Jisp
No shit. I can't believe some people...
Theonewiththesandwich
A literal shit post
bumhand
How do people do that habitually? Do they wipe with leaves? Take tp on a run?
somedayiwillberelevantasfuck
Stray cats or possum.
BikerRay
Or poison ivy.
Goochlicker22
Bro use your two socks
Nuhlinga
A shitty asscrack has less friction allowing the legs to move faster
xcopperx
Spread the cheeks and since running may upset your stomach maybe itll squirt out and leave your cheeks partially clean.
MAN9000
Leaves can be used for TP. Maybe she's into survival and it's part of her routine for escaping zombies.
MatrixCreatrix
Hope she doesn't do lunges at the end of her run.
Procrastinatress
They come back from their run with only one sock ?
DanCutter
High-fiber diet, regular exercise, freshly waxed butthole... clean as a whistle.
Omnipotence0
If you only ate kale and maple leaves like a true runner you would shit in little balls like rabbits do, eliminating the need for wiping.
pdrroadkill
It's called 'runners trots' and happens due to the bouncing of your stomach during a run. And yes, most runners will leave themselves dirty
HarmlessPervert
Reason No. 137 why I don't run...
MobiusAzarath
If you eat a ton of fiber, I doubt you need to wipe.
MVPHingleMcCringleBerry
You can not wipe. Use a leaf. Or use your finger then wipe that on grass/leaves or whatever. Just wash your hands as soon as possible
MVPHingleMcCringleBerry
You can not wipe as in that’s a option. Don’t wipe and keep running. Hopefully it’s not the kind that just smears
brusilov
Use your finger? What? Like in and out?
MVPHingleMcCringleBerry
https://youtu.be/JofDuTmFpL8
basildane
There was a woman to shit in my yard every day for 5 years. It took 3 police visits and threats of jail to finally get her to stop.
zapbranagan
Mental
Leeloothedog
frozen paintball to the browneye.
basildane
I have video evidence, tag number, everything. She even admitted it to police and couldn't care less, said it was her "right".
Monka42
Wtf? It's my right to spray you with a hose then. Free bidet mother fucker.
SuperJusticeWarrior69
I would follow her home, see where she lives and just do something ten times worse, like order a truck load of chicken manure or something
AoxomoxoA35
I would have turned the hose on her and if that didn't stop it, then escalate to paintball gun.
zapbranagan
Follow her home and commence operation shit on her porch daily.
pigsearsandtwirlytails
That's completely nuts, why did she think it was her right?
PicassoCT
She got advice on a imageboard, to make a hole in the floor and shit on her downstair neighbous?
RaisinZetaJones
Can we get more of this story? Because that's completely nuts.
RocknRootRanchcuzallwegotisrocksandrootsandafewtrees
.
kittykat
.
basildane
One day my dog ate it. Then I lost it and told the cops you better stop this or we are going to have violence.
AJediInTraining
That is one of the most bizarre things I have heard in a while.
MatrixCreatrix
Seriously. What the fuck?
BanadecCamberbootch
That story got wilder and wilder every time.
Thisismyusernamenotyoursitsmine
Wait.. everyday? 5 YEARS? Was she your neighbor or did she GO to your house just for that?!?! I’m so confused
basildane
Correction, an average of 3 times a week, for 5 solid years. I have written documentation, even a cease and desist letter to her employer.
JiffyGee
Thats bonkers. She’s littering for one. Another she is leaving biohazardous waste in your yard. Third that’s indecent exposure, what if...
JiffyGee
kids saw? Then they’d be considered a pedophile. I’d have been asking these questions to the police then ask to have their supervisor....
kellzkellzhellzbellz
What?? Did she dislike you? That's crazy.
RoutemasterFlash
Maybe she liked him and this was her way of showing that?
basildane
It turns out she was the newspaper delivery person. Our yard was "convenient". She does not know me.
Mattehoernchen
Newspaper delivery with a little extra.
ddkong86
Lindsay Lohan? Probably fermalizing the lawn
TimmyNG
Fortunately I wasn't afflicted with mid-run poops, but a guy on my team was. He'd bring a wad of TP and regularly stop midway through runs
RemuZZZ
yep. Baby wipes work well.
seqouia
Runners diarrhea is a thing! There's dozens of us!
SullivansMuff
I definitely dealt with this when I was running competitively. Race day was always the worst. Anything you found to help with it?
Soberyn
Sounds like it was caused by nerves from the race? I used to get the "nervous poops"
SullivansMuff
There was definitely a psychological aspect, but it happened pretty much every day. Just worse on race days
seqouia
I do ultra marathons and my best advice is to experiment with food. I find processed, dense food like Clif bars generally work well
lampinamothpit
This only happened to me once, miles from a toilet; fortunately I was in an isolated part of the woods. Shit happens. (I’ll see myself out)
CorgiMcFluffers
Man what a crappy thing to happen.
Ryebread91
Run poops are a real thing... Doesn't excuse her behavior at all.
PickleDemon5
Just hazarding a guess but I'm gonna go with, she straight up just leaves her arse caked in shite.
HerrBisch
GyprockGypsy
Balling like its 1389.
AnApologeticCanadian
CHUNKYPOPS
Excellent delivery
IDontLoveJesusButDoItAnyway
maybe she eats so much fibre that she ghosts every poop
bumhand
What an interesting person. Is it a test? Does she love laundry?
FallingStar7669
Maybe it helps lube her thighs and prevents chafing.
FrumpyCrust
She just lets her hips slide a little freer
Baalzak
phatblaster5000
Thanks I hate this
Fluckers
I'm pretty sure that it's just the motion of running that's increased bowel motility. Happened to a female running the London marathon a few
gvair
As a runner who had to go a few times during runs I can relate. The activity seems yo stimulate my bowels.
Fluckers
Years ago. Might have been Sally gunnell. She hid in a tunnel to avoid the TV cameras. As they say, shit happens!
TuckerCarlsonWarnedYouTheredBeGirlsLikeMe
How do you do that while jogging?
TrumpIsAFelon
The poo lubricates the friction between the cheeks, as well as between the inner thighs. This allows for speed gains and less chafing. 1/2
PicassoCT
It also leads to a higher motivation (often referenced as runners tight) when near crowds..
TrumpIsAFelon
How did you become so wise in the ways of science, fellow scientist?
TrumpIsAFelon
Because of this, the practice has been banned in competitive running since 1997, and the Olympics banned it in 2016
PicassoCT
Friction burned Ceramics are a very good material as long as they are not experience shocks
assmaster4000
Whit a fuckin' weapon!
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Spread their cheeks and pop a squat. Poor diet resulting in hard, pellet like bowel movements may help
TheRobbieB
I run because my health is important to me. I eat like shit because my mid-run poop is also important to me.
LiamRobertsonjr
Vaselines her ass up and it just doesn't stick. Her legs don't chaff either.
SoSorryNotSorry
You’ve definitely done this before
LiamRobertsonjr
Just an observation I made while treating a hemorrhoid. "Huh I don't think I even needed to wipe" prep h is mostly vaseline.
DickDastardly404
That honestly seems like it would work... why do you know that?
LiamRobertsonjr
Just an observation I made while treating a hemorrhoid. "Huh I don't think I even needed to wipe" prep h is mostly vaseline.
DickDastardly404
Truly a frontiersman
marthafarquar
1. Get a wildlife camera for less than $50 2. ? 3. Profit
PicassoCT
2. Upload to pornsites
LicensedAdHominem
2. Post the picture on this sign instead of the text
LiarLiarPantsUntier
Studoku
Alternatively, get some snakes.
TakeTheStairs
step 4. jail time
pareidoliaperson
Metalgearslade
I think we all.know why number 2 means in this context.
absoliutenus
#2 , pornsite
CaverExtrordinaire
I suppose you're less likely to get charged than with direct blackmail
Snooj
Is it still blackmail if you don't ask for anything in return?
LiarLiarPantsUntier
Blur the face like japs blur vaginas; no lawsuit.
FearlessFerret
People don't really say "japs" anymore, but whatever
LiarLiarPantsUntier
I am not ‘people’. I’m a brain.
tymonaSmasher
It is just a contraction like Brit or Aussie?
BigBeeOhBee
You're absolutely correct. Not sure why that statement made me laugh though.
LeroyShabazAli
daimonysos
I get the reference xD
MadeYouLookAgain
Help a brother out?
Promisedlandcharlie
Southpark, underwear gnomes
GuyoHadden
You got a liocence for that camera mate?
DasPumpenStrasse
What camera mate?
TaylorGangMorgan
I'd assume it wouldn't be illegal since you shouldn't assume privacy in a public place?
ochermes28
Since this behavior would constitute a misdemeanor in the USA, I’m assuming it would be legal if the footage was given to the cops.
TuckerCarlsonWarnedYouTheredBeGirlsLikeMe
That would be my defense.
daromander
No, it's the intent that matters. Same reason why you can't take upskirt photos on a public bus
ShellPhish
alitquar
There was a case in TX where a guy was taking photos of HS cheerleaders and using telephoto lenses to get crotch, butt, and boob shots. 1/2
alitquar
2/3 He was selling the videos on the internet. Parents found out, took him to court. Judge ruled he’d done nothing illegal.
alitquar
3/3 not sure if the law has changed—this was probably late 90s or early 2000s.
Yenaldooshi
Well there go my plans for the weekend. /s
ShowMeYourButtonhole
THE MAD POOPAH!!
ShibesKeanu
Or how about... The Butt-ler!
YouHaveNoodsAndIHaveAnInbox
Ahh? The BUTT-lah!
meadmaker
DJ horn sounds, dabs...
EthicalCephalopod
+1 hahahahah
JumoMan
I wish they didn't take it off of Netflix:(
ddcrowFlyer
Hulu son
YouHaveNoodsAndIHaveAnInbox
OooOoh Hulu san
JumoMan
ShibesKeanu
You got a point though, Netflix circa 2013-14 was the golden age for cheap and comprehensive streaming when they were the only show in town.