OneTicketToHellPlease
113782
2167
30
Context: https://imgur.com/gallery/tLRWTSJ
Source: https://twitter.com/mcjude/status/1475187871778811918
WelcomeToImgurWhereOCIsMadeUpAndThePointsDontMatter
Something sprouty was going to happen.
Octopuseswillruletheworld
Thanks for the laughter. I'd love to start that kind of war with my sons
theinternetkeepsmealive
That was beautiful to read
RadiDaddy
Anju42
I kept thinking the wrong person was going to eat it in the end
HoboTheSapient
This made my day
5cX469Nit9JuI1MAZG5c3AdA
And the whole time, they're sprouting a magical friendship
OneTicketToHellPlease
StarscreamAndHutch
Thank you for finding the continuation
OneTicketToHellPlease
badthaught
P sure my dad would disown me if I sabotaged a pie like this.
dorenavant
Ahhh, the continuation of the Great Brussels Sprout Wars, 2016 and ongoing.
OneTicketToHellPlease
After the Sprout Truce of 2020, hostilities have resumed with renewed viciousness.
PrecogFrogOnALog
I misread the beginning as "since 2016 d&d and i have waged sprout war.." and i was very confused
dandanthedrywallman
Is this the same lady who hid them in the Ferraro Rochers?
Lordlabuck
Surpies motherfacker.
johnvilnis
That he laughed at the joke on him says it all.
moonshadowkati
Keep your eyes on the pies
PoliticalWanderer
Came back to upvote this.
thegirlwhocan
That'd how I read the last little bit +1
LasciviousHedgehog
Watch the pies
passoguava
Hold on!
pete484
This had all the makings of a great novel!! Cheers!! Very enjoyable tale of intrigue, revenge, and love,!!!
djhash
That's just glorious!!
PandaPlop
This isn’t a sprout ear, it’s a sprout massacre.
PandaPlop
Sprout war. Thank goodness for autocorrect.
OneTicketToHellPlease
You're ducking welcome.
Idonotbelievewehavecompany
This is great wholesome fun. I love it
PikaChunin
Plot twist: they're both wildly allergic to them. Finally, a victor has emerged.
Idonotbelievewehavecompany
ahahahaha
DKB13
James Acaster has exactly the same bit about cabbaging
BlastingRopeToWaluigiHentai
English food is weird.
CyanideBreathMint
Am i the only me who thought she was referring to sprouts like a chia pet? Ne’r have I heard anyone call a brussel sprout just a sprouts.
geekslikeus
The only reason I no longer assume "sprouts" with no modifier means bean is because of someone who uses it for alfalfa, so I was confused...
cutebytes
I had a similar game with my flat mates in Scotland but it was a dildo. Twas great fun.
iCommunicateInGifs
wipethatfaceoffyourheadbitch
I also play hide the sausage with my husband.
GoddammitMrNoodle
Are there pictures of this caper? If yes, please share!
cutebytes
Sadly no pictures (30 years ago) but once it replaced my compact umbrella in my bag, tucked into the umbrella’s carrying sheath. Once it /2
GoddammitMrNoodle
Oh, I like the umbrella one.
cutebytes
…was mailed back first class post (so first thing in the AM) so she grabbed the post then went back to bed, I heard the satisfying shriek /3
cutebytes
…before departing for work, heehee. Another time it was replaced for the salt shaker. Good times!
OneTicketToHellPlease
Brussel sprouts make everything better.
CorrectMostOfTheTime
You can have my share
cheeseguy3412
I Nicholas Cage'd my workplace about 5 years ago. Pictures everywhere, in everything. People are still finding them. /1
cheeseguy3412
Small printed cutouts in binders ,folders, inside the casing of PC mice, keyboards, some are on the underside of keycaps so they are just /2
cheeseguy3412
slightly wrong, just inside loose padding of office chairs, in safes, taped to the underside of desk phones, etc etc etc /3
crypticorb
I actually enjoy brussel sprouts, they’re great if cooked long enough, and served with melted cheddar.
yourbassist
OneTicketToHellPlease
colourmestupid9041
I don't like them myself, but told my mum I would have some this year because she seemed sad to be the only one who would be eating them 1/2
colourmestupid9041
It seemed to cheer her up so I "enjoyed" them with my xmas lunch sat next to her at the table. A tiny sacrifice worth making in my eyes. 2/2
tagswag8888
Awww that is sweet and they are good for you too
LarchMH
No
Thunderchunks
The lingering stanky miasma of hot humid sulphurous shit gas that claws its way out of my trumpeting beef whistle is *better*?
Allmyusernamesareawful
Trumpeting beef whistle gets you a well deserved +1.
gorima
porcinechoirmaster
Great. Now I have to explain to the office why I'm laughing my ass off without using the phrase "trumpeting beef whistle."
LetumComplexo
Pseudobatrachotoxin
Omg… so cleverly composed. Glorious.
MisterLemons
BabiesAreGreatMedRare
This is the most glorious statement I may read all week. At least until next year. Thank you for the laughs.
rufisium
Don't boil them. Cut them in halves, wash in water and vinegar. Coat in a bit'o olive oil, bake on a sheet at 450 for 30-45 mins till crisp
5cX469Nit9JuI1MAZG5c3AdA
This is the way.
DuineSgith
Fuck that. Wash them, discard any damaged leaves, eat 'em raw!
Thunderchunks
I'm not disparaging their tastiness- I'm just saying that if I eat them my asshole turns into portal to a dimension of hot soupy shit stink.
Thunderchunks
Preparation method makes no difference in my considerable horrible experience. I fuckin' love brussel sprouts, to my family's dismay.
OneTicketToHellPlease