vrrivera1989
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So last night I bit the bullet and told him how unhappy and miserable i am. Kept asking if there was someone else and I said no. Then he said it would have been easier to deal with if I did have someone else. So much for dealing with it like an adult :[
Wow front page, I guess everything has a silver lining lol. Send memes, I need cheering up.
Krayhayft
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
ChronologicalMyopia
I mean, no, you definitely did the right thing. I think we're getting a bit of why why you're miserable though.
DropDeadFread
Good job adulting. The shitty thing about being a good adult and good person is it's usually not rewarded. Still though, good on you.
mike11010
Given his reaction, I can see why you’re miserable.
fluortanten
I would prefer your way over finding out my wife is cheating on me. I don't need more hatred in my life.
Weiners
From experience, this is grief. Hopefully he processes it in a healthy way. #1 relationship killer - unmet expectations. Talk early and 1/
Weiners
And often! Good luck OP, you did the right thing! 2/2
DrunkenWeasel
It hurts just as bad to hear someone you love say they don’t love you anymore. Trust me.
Ichoosethenicknamesaroundhere
I kinda get it. You not cheating means he has nobody to blame but himself.
Nearlyburly
That maybe the initial response. But whether he realizes it or not, you did make it easier on him.
Voitl
It's alot easier to be angry than sad as emotions go. But being honest was the right thing to do.
disagreeable
https://imgur.com/VuDdLqy
ImprovedLoungewear
Yup. It's not always about fault or blame. Two good people can have a good run. There was good there, or you wouldn't have chosen each other
Copperbrat
That's heartbreaking, OP. Probably because he thinks it's more about him than someone else.
WhatDoYouMeanIcantStickmyFingersthere3
That's because it would have been easier than him worrying about fixing it. Cheating would most likely = divorce for him, an easier path.
WheezyLex
Why are you miserable? Can you guys work on it?
Taraxacumofficinale
I kinda wanted to know this too. @OP, any input to volunteer? I don't mean to pry, don't answer if you don't want to.
iCantImager
Or be constructive and talk about ways to improve things. Jesus.
Cats2cats
He didn’t ask; “what can we do to fix this”?
hardytardigrade
I can imagine why you might be having issues. Is counseling an option? Learning better communication might be a huge help.
intashu
As someone who's been cheated on.. Agree with top comment, would have been easier only because he could blame someone else for the problem.
witheredspoon
He's just looking to blame someone else. Noone wants to realize they are flawed.
Parrotheadpirate
MRW all my friends are married with kids and getting divorced
Mumalot
There's plenty in the fish in the sea. Like me!, i'm a fish! blubblub
Jenkbi
You did the right thing.
Italipino
From someone who has been cheated on multiple times, he's full of shit.
Maybeinanotherdimension
Don't know why your post isn't more popular. I certainly concur.
MeowMachine12
No joke. It's easy to say he wishes the alternative because it didn't happen. I'm guessing he's never been cheated on. It's shattering.
esrannogard
it would have been easier because he could have directed his hate at the person you would have cheated with..now he doesn’t know what to do
Othernate
Agree. Adulting is hard.
IKnowYouHateMeYes
If he directed the hate towards the lover and not the cheater then he's an idiot. A relationship is between two people and if one those
IKnowYouHateMeYes
2/2 breaks their promises then the fault is entirely theirs. No one else is at fault.
esrannogard
True but men tend to take hate more so out in other men
IKnowYouHateMeYes
Oh, I'm aware. Trust me, everyone does it. The "snake in the grass" thing is pretty livid in everyone.
hellangel28
your husband is weird, you definitly did the right thing
harvestoftacos
I was going to call him an idiot but this is nicer.
UnpopularOpinionPuffinPersonified
Why's he an idiot for being honest? It's normal for it to be easier to blame her for cheating than to accept that he makes her miserable.
javer80
I dunno if I'd jump to "he's just weird". It's a hugely emotional event that requires time to process. I'm not surprised he reacted somehow.
XilrGnomegobbler
As a man, i agree. It would hurt to hear, but far less than cheating would. Plus there is hope for both sides with the path you chose.
DavidBrooker
I think that might depend on how satisfied he was in the relationship, and how unilateral this dissatisfaction is.
vrrivera1989
Thanks. Ugh.
Comet260
How long have you been with him, if I may ask?
ClumsyNinja88
Sorry that he reacted that way. I did the same thing as you did a few years ago with my wife. We had a long argument and worked through it.
ClumsyNinja88
Maybe he's just processing it initially and soon he'll want too talk about your options. It's a tough thing to hear and even to say. Be
ClumsyNinja88
Proud you took the high road and didn't add infidelity to this. You did the right thing. Not always the easy one but the right one.
itstara333
You showed that you respect him as a human, hopefully he sees that and eventually you can work throughit and be stronger and happier togeth
Asherdash
This may sound weird but thank you for posting this because now I can read through comments for advice bc I feel that way on my relationship
Asherdash
Situation) but I tend to not have good judgement when it comes to deciding when to end a relationship or not. I like to see other insight.
Asherdash
And idk if it's because I've had a lot going on or if maybe it's just run its course (and we aren't married so not nearly as serious as your
ScrippyChan
You did the right thing. Y'all gonna try counseling or...?
vrrivera1989
not sure yet, he shut down last night.
ScrippyChan
So he's just unhealthy im every way. :S Good luck with the road ahead.
wallsh1
It would have been easier for him because he could've just blamed you instead. Props to you.
VRChan
Some gan-Dy level wisdom right here plus 1
hollowdh
It is always easier to hate someone, instead of getting over someone you don't hate.
slaitch
Also it would make the divorce go more in his favor.
HelenWhat
If he’s anything like my ex, he’ll still find a way to blame you.
DelightfullyOdd
ExcalNova
Makes a post on internet to get support from random people so she can blame him, way to go.
TallLightnHandsome
THIS! You did the right thing. Now he has to face the weaknesses in the marriage. Hope y'all can figure out a positive path.
HelloToe
That, or he's been cheating on her, so he could've just said "Now we're even."
TimmyDans
Also that prenup and Alimony kick in
spacecadetshay
Can anyone confirm? One of her posts shows her talking about mouth condoms with a guy. Not sure if husband.
Zahnradfee
She probably found this on the web and posted it here for our amusement.
spacecadetshay
Agreed
DadddyWarlord
Oh wow I didn't think it like that. Good job bro.
stoutde
Yep, came to say this and now I realize how obvious it is that I'm not sure why I thought I had to.
MaskMan191
Easier to blame someone exclusively than share the blame with that same someone.
Howdoyougetaonearmedblondeoutofatreeyouwave
THIS! LISTEN TO THIS @OP
Tarelgeth
Not necessarily. It's easier to think "someone else is better" than it is to think "I'm just not good enough."
badgerbadgerbadgermushroommushroom
snailsGod
Who says it's not opv, fault? U need to be specific and tell him what makes u unhappy so BOTH of you can work it out. 1/2
snailsGod
It's easy to let things run and say you are unhappy and wait for the other person to change.. 2/2
imnotarealgiraffe
Honest question: how do things ever get this far? I complain about shit for hours if my happiness level dips like a point below 5
imnotarealgiraffe
Once I started feeling unhappy because I wanted some xxx but all i did was barely mention it and bam, taken care of
imnotarealgiraffe
But, on the other hand, I usually am not unhappy with my relationship it's usually lack of exercise/nutrition/ stimulation etc.
imnotarealgiraffe
Based on the fact this is already downvoted I guess it must happen to a lot of ppl
StripTheFleshSaltTheWound
This only works if you're with people that care about your happiness.
imnotarealgiraffe
Ohhh *light bulb*
Janusha
Awfully big conclusion with very little evidence.
Fastrayd
Maybe the blame thing. But it would have definitely been easier because we have a common and defined course of action for being cheated on.
Fastrayd
Dealing with marriage issues before they get that far, and what to do next, is less clear. Far more complicated.
phil1d
I try not to judge anyone's immediate response when they receive very sad, life-changing news. You need more than a moment to recover
helluvasparkplug
When people say something about their beliefs/thought processes/who they are - believe them. OPs husband has made it clear he does not (1)
helluvasparkplug
have the emotional intelligence to handle such an issue, and ppl like that usually don't put effort in to change things. They expect (2)
helluvasparkplug
*you* to do it bc then they have someone to blame when the breakup happens. Self-sabotage is easier than taking an inward look at the self.
thekissableeggplant
altxatu
Plus I doubt he wants to work it out. I’d rather my wife come to me if she’s unhappy. That way we can figure out how to make it better.
Geckuro
better to fix a broken lightbulb than fuck some other house, right?
ImSorryFriend
Not if you're renting month-to-month!
altxatu
You’d think. Someone’s people fall out of love for whatever reason. But I think if you want to, you can fall in love again.
ThereReallyIsAReactionGIFForEverything
Can confirm. Ex first told me I wasn't good enough and I was sad for a year. Then found out she'd cheated and now I simply hate her
GoodNewsCigaretteJuice
What the hell do you know about this person? Gonna base a statement like that on one internet meme?
TechorFTW
What this person said.
HadMeSomeChickens
What this person said.
SincerelyHated
What that person said.
Snotty128
Don’t listen to this person tho
cornzilla
ididntgetthejobatfruitloops
Or whomever.
Atria
Exactly.
TheBasementNerd
People don't like to be blamed, and will find any opportunity to blame another because it makes them feel like the good person
A2DY79
What she wants is for him to reinvent himself or do whatever it takes to make her happy. He's not automatically the villain, here.
EvilCatCreations
We don't know that. We don't know enough to say anyone is the villain. OP could be! Or her husband. Or neither.
A2DY79
yes, hence the thousands of upvotes for 'you go girl'. People clearly aren't taking sides based on one view of a complex relationship.
ImNotYodaOkayImYoda
Getting downvoted for not being a clueless dipstick is a common occurrence around here.
ericbres1337
PluckedDuck
giraffesarentreal
ericbres1337
AAAAAAAAAA!!!! You broke his arm! You monster!
PluckedDuck
Randomice
If you had cheated on him it would have been your fault. But now he thinks it's his fault.
pointsForNothing
Also he might already have cheated. Now he is the only one to blame.
ericbres1337
Based on the one downvote ... I see op’s husband has checked in
ThatGuyWhoThinksEveryoneIsAPineapple
It doesn't make him childish or anything - he's only pineapple, after all. The blame game won't work here.
MrMagoobar
Even though it may not be a time to lay blame. We still want to...
LordWaddlesThePig
I'm on the other end of this, and it really does feel like my fault..
LordWaddlesThePig
I'm not OPs husband, just to clarify
TevinterTavenar
no shit
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Exactly. I think it's also possible that he feels really sad/guilty about his wife's unhappiness with him, and reacted by lashing out
KjTheLightning
yeah... i can kinda understand him, that's probably why deep down i don't want that much to be in a relationship, i wouldn't even want to
KjTheLightning
think about finally having a girlfriend only for them to say that after all i wasn't enough even though i for once thought i was.
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
I feel like I might make the mistake of reacting that way too, if I were with someone who said he was unhappy, like I wasn't doing enough
KjTheLightning
and how would that be a mistake? if i love that someone, i want to be worthy of them, if they're unhappy, then logically i'm either
TheInventor
Pretty much this. Its basic psychology 101. You both have to decide if you're at a new beginning or at the end.
AegonVITargaryen
imadethisaccounttotellyouthis
Closing Time is one of my favorite songs.
theusernameformerlyknownastildo
Annnnnnd it's now stuck in my head for the rest of the day. ♪ One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer. ♫
SBSP129
ThereReallyIsAReactionGIFForEverything
Music lover here, found multiple songs by this title. Which artist exactly?
MantisTobagganMD
Semisonic
imadethisaccounttotellyouthis
Thank you internet guy. You were there for my people when I could not be.
ThereReallyIsAReactionGIFForEverything
That was beautiful, bit Jimmy Eat World like. Definitely adding this to my collection, thanks! If you wanna talk music PM me :)
ThereReallyIsAReactionGIFForEverything
Thank you, will listen now (and probably the others later)!
JenAwesome
I found a text in my husbands phone (I was getting a number for his best friend so I could plan a surprise party for him) that said “Hi, 1)
JenAwesome
This is Shannon, we met at my work in Chicago, you left me your number on your receipt, sorry I didn’t text sooner.” I was to ask him about2
JenAwesome
It but I’m Terrified of having that conversation cause I am wrong for going into his phone, but he gave his number to someone while I 3
forreallyandfortrue
He is more wrong than you in this instance; cheaters can never legitimately be mad when they're caught.
IKnowYouHateMeYes
Well, they can. The thing is the word legitimate doesn't work here well. They can legitimately be mad, but the person that catches 1/2
IKnowYouHateMeYes
2/2 them has more valid reasons to be mad than they do, if that makes any sense.
JenAwesome
Was pregnant with our second baby. I thought we were in a good place and happy together. I don’t want this to be happening.
Asherdash
Rip the band-aid off, I say, and ask about it. Or ask who Sharon is. I'm not sure how to go into that conversation without him gettingdefnsv
vrrivera1989
I'm so so sorry and that's what i really wanted to avoid right there.
TheGreatBlueHeron
This will eat at you until you confront him. There WILL be fallout. But pay attention to his answer, you can probably tell when he's lying 1
TheGreatBlueHeron
to you. If he's already gone behind your back, he'll probably lie to you face or at least get defensive and cast blame back to you.
Asherdash
Lol Shannon* no Sharon...sorry
IWouldDoThings
Why are you wrong for going through his phone?? Is there a reason you shouldn't be? He married you for this very reason. You're too nice.