cayliebee
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C'est une paon
The joys of Photoshop
Student pretends he's on The Office.
"Long live the King"
Goodnight
Knock Knock
The Cold War in a nutshell
Mein Tea
tcabeen
Imgur is the best place to read Tumblr. Tears in my eyes.
yellowblastoise
As someone who works with birds, that is indeed how we weigh small birds. I have also used toilet paper rolls for some birds.
spinnytea
"Long live the king."
Zoogster22
Mahogany
BellyButtonCum
"HEUH"
Maldraek
Finger me in the name of cardiology.
KawikaLo
#heer isch mein handel #heer isch mein spout. Thank you. I could not stop laughing.
ihavethepower
Maybe they were having sex for a long period of time and were only noisy for 54 seconds. That's an orgasm.
ZebraCockSandwich
foxglove and lavender look so different that this is not even a problem... get off tumblr and google that shit.
rebmcr
The lip colour thing is wrong.
YepYepYepUhhHuh
THANK GOD. I was about to have a really horrible time interacting with men.
CraftNasty
My friend and I conducted a study..the lip thing is totally true
captainredbeard
Neither is the eyebrow thing. At least not for me.
MuffinBuffalo
My eyebrows are clear. My bush is NOT clear.
Boogieman03
I have no clue how to read Tumblr, so for this, I thank you. +1
Rhase
Peel a banana from the bottom once. You'll never go back.
rubycube
Don't listen to the hate! I'm with you. It's the only way to go.
RheddRok
You're just not natural. I had a woman at work that did this every morning. It irked the hell out of me!
YepYepYepUhhHuh
but my friends will make fun of me.
stokedgoat
We need to lobby the UN for someone about this. IT NEEDS TO BE KNOWN!
TheCunningLinguist181
That's how chimps do it. They use the stalk as a handle. WE WERE DOING IT WRONG THE WHOLE TIME!
ipissonyourparade
http://imgur.com/GZFlmdY
turokdinosaurhunter
I only do it when the banana is too green to easily open the other way. I dislike dealing with the seed at the bottom all the time..
Billpo
Banana seeds are little black things throughout the fruit.
franklymydearidontgiveadamnaboutmakingyoursammich
I tried, failed, and gave up and used the other end. I fear I will not make the next evolutionary cut if monkeys are doing it better.
MoonyWormtailPadfootProngs
You just have to pinch it so the seams split, then it'll peel easily
franklymydearidontgiveadamnaboutmakingyoursammich
I shall keep trying. Take that monkeys!
Katheebs
I completely lost my shit at the teapot.
Cheesleton
Tea-pot dictator
Katheebs
potator?
TheLoneRedRanger
My mom and I were just rolling around in each other's tears.
itsYYZed
I think it might literally the best thing I've ever seen on the internet.
Katheebs
"HEER ISCH MEIN HANDEL, HEER ISCH MEIN SPOUT" really sold it. My son had to ask if I was alright.
vengefulbeavergod
Me, too. We must be horrible people.
Katheebs
Or fantastic people! ...yeah, probably horrible.
ProbablyNotAMurderer
The banana was peeled correctly.
rebeccaisafish
YES! yes it was!
ICantBelieveThisUsernameWasStillAvailable
THIS IS WHY EYEBROWS THE INTERNET! http://imgur.com/1MCVBHE
OrbitusII
DID YOU JUST
ICantBelieveThisUsernameWasStillAvailable
...glad somebody notices...
ExPFCWintergreen
i think i missed the mahogany thing
Coryosity
While Anne Frank may have been born the same year as MLK they were at different points because Anne Frank didn't live as long as MLK....
skyhook
bentwrenches
As someone whose 50th birthday is just around the corner, I prefer Vicodin with my Scotch.
yesyesyoufoundthevegan
As a soon to be 25 year old and recent college graduate. HELP.
ObviousCaptain
It could honestly go on forever which just makes you realize. Life sucks entirely.
lazerhosen
Inequity sucks. Starvation sucks. Arbitrary laws suck. People who continue the cycle suck. People who go along with it suck the worst.
phoenix777
Is that hooch?? Hooch is crazy
Deadpo0l
DEETDEETDEET!
luke1095
Yay for scrubs!
DefinitelyNotAVelociraptor
Hooch IS crazy..
ColeBus
So sad when he said that in the finale. That's when it set in... :(
Raikuro
Guys! Guys! Hooch is with Gooch and might have killed Faison!
ForssFagerstrom
It certainly is Hooch. Beat me to it.
cam3529
thats in the bible
ILikeNewEnglandBeer
Oh Hooch :)
justorderalargefarva
My favorite quote from Scrubs. My dog's name is Hooch. Hooch is crazy.
msanders805
Always upvote scrubs!
slagath0r
And the best part is, Rex doesn't know hooch is crazy
SovietChewbacca
HOOCH BE CRAY
IGiveAmazingAdvice
I always upvote Scrubs :)
ChestertheRAT
Dammit you beat me to it!!!
HeyHeresALameNameThatNooneWillHave
Thank you, good sir, for making my night
SuperGroy
haha, completely forgot. Good catch!
Shewhohangsoutincemetaries
ok so hooch says he will mow someone down on scrubs, cause of bouon cubes in the shower..... he actually mowed someone down
Shewhohangsoutincemetaries
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgewyPhGYHM
RepostStatisticsIntern
I just marathon-ed the entire series of Scrubs and that last line was pretty spectacular.
MatsLackOfOriginalityHendrix
I just looked him up on wikipedia... Apparently he's only in 5 episodes; blew my mind.
jonhnefill
I would have liked to see a spin-off with him and Turner solving medical mysteries in the Scrubs universe.
Veit
I'm about to use the toilet right now... so I hope you all are happy with the order that you're standing in.
Veit
Because if you follow me in there, that is the order that I am going to kill you.
illjustgofuckmyself
Don't call Hooch crazy
beepboop21
Ahhh recently started watching Scrubs and I get this and now I feel like part of the Imgur inner circle
wheresthebaby
Welcome Carol
jrau18
You're not really in the inner circle until you get to the season you want to forget.
TheStickyWicket
SHUT UP I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE WHOLE SHOW LAST NIGHT AND THERE WERE ONLY 8 SEASONS OK *sobs*
jrau18
Theeeerrreee we goo
HingOfTheKill
Long live the king
JupiterJ
Brilliant :)
testingonetwothreetesting
I didn't know I needed this gif in my life. But now I do
ThrewOutMyHipster
Guys, peeling the banana from the bottom is the best way to do it. Pinch and crack the black part, then peel down. No mush. Go try it.
ThrewOutMyHipster
I'm actually surprised, given the amount of banana worship on this site, that so many people had no idea. Imgur should lead the revolution!
rubycube
This is the truth. For realsies.
AsAnItalianItsDifficultTalkingOnTheWebCauseIcantUseMyHands
GUYS DON'T the reason being a virus that can be carried by that tiny black filament at the bottom. you squeeze it, banana is contaminated.
ThrewOutMyHipster
i want scientific support! otherwise i will continue being efficient.
AsAnItalianItsDifficultTalkingOnTheWebCauseIcantUseMyHands
can't be bothered I read it somewhere ages ago
VinnieJonesDiary
In the British Isles apple cider is alcoholic so I just imagined this dude getting blitzed in the book shop yet still quietly judging others
JasonThorn
It doesn't matter, it's a porn fanfic of the best and the worst fantasy series rolled into one. And I have no interest in hearing worse...
AlbinoMelon
As a fellow Brit, this explains a lot.
MaliciousCuntWithoutAReason
In Australia as well, all our ciders are alcoholic.
LiTMac
We have both, but if it isn't specified, it's assumed to be non-alcoholic, because every fucking thing in this country has a warning label.
Sugarcrotch
i know right. fucking the quietly shit. i judge people loudly, pantsless and drunk at 11 am. because people need to know how awesome i am
VinnieJonesDiary
I think if you are loud and pantsless in a bookshop they ask you to leave, that's usually what happens to me anyway...
Sugarcrotch
i make them chase me after i cover myself in oil
VinnieJonesDiary
I could not love that comment more, thank you.
EtherealRune
Cider means fermented apples, its why "pear cider" makes me rage in tesco quietly :(
sachspanner
Actually, it can be fermented peaches or cherries too, which sort of blew my mind. I do not know the true criteria for cider fruit.
JohnnyTheBlade
We just call pear cider "perry"
EtherealRune
THANK YOU!
JohnnyTheBlade
You're welcome
lildeidei
I always think of alcoholic apple cider as mere cider.
mustbefunatparties
I'm an American but for some reason I assumed it was alcoholic cider. I might have a drinking problem. *guzzles wine*
Yongasoo
In Argentina we have one of the prettiest book shops in the world, Ateneo Grand Splendid, and they serve beer.
samsamalander
Nahh, the first ciders made in the U.S. were alcoholic. Non-alcoholic ciders came around Prohibition. Source: The Botany of Desire
Oprinist
+1 for citing a source and for making me want to read it.
samsamalander
Your welcome! It is an excellent book to read. The Apple chapter is my favorite.
Oprinist
Awesome, thanks for the advice!
CallMeCap
The amount of shit i lost throughout this post is nothing short of amazing
scarrybusytown
I like to think of these posts as tumblr supplements, I take them thrice daily.
usernumber84
Vaccinations.
Smayds
Suppositories.
LemonLimeSOfine
TID PRN for lolz
swiftmark
Lip color =/= tip of dick color, source: am a guy.
trobairitz
I really want to know how you confirmed this.
KingDerby
Lip color == tip of dick color, source: can of paint to the groin.
Abominor
Gotta take your lipstick off first, buddy.
swiftmark
...but it's so pretty...
OrbitusII
http://www.hahgay.com
SpicyMonkey
that first one.....why?! why must you make my social interactions awkwarder than they already are.....
SpecialTrampDanaScullyFBI
My ex said that how much a person's hips sway when walking is proportionate to how loud they are during sex and now I always think about it.
PringlesSpeakerBoxes
It's fun, I always try to imagine it when speaking to women. Just to see if we're compatible
MustachedSloth
If it makes you feel any better I can tell you it isn't true.
chimichangasaremyfetish
As a not-so-white guy who's been with redheads and blondes, I can confirm the eyebrows one. And the lips one, too.
MustachedSloth
As a white guy, I can say that neither of them are true for me so they may be true some of the time but not all of the time.
SpicyMonkey
doesn't matter. true or not i'm thinking it
MustachedSloth
well my only suggestion then would be to avoid looking at their face.
queenoftheghetto
TIL to be totally rad i need more ring pops
OrbitusII
are you radish right now?
queenoftheghetto
yea i just can't quite get to that next level yet
CorbettJr
The only nice person in the world other than us Canadians... is Tom Hiddleston. Noone else. Not one single other person.
LeeDee16
That was a wtf moment for me too...and then I thought "Nevermind I volunteer to be locked in a bunker with Tom Hiddleston."
aldieb
I must become Canadian ASAP so I can join the Tom Hiddleston bunker.
Darkdarkymcdarkens
The sperm one. That poor girl...
TheRedChameleon
I call BS on that one, her saliva would normally have killed the sperm.
beyondblack
I lost it at "Non, c'est une fucking pomme"
WeeCuppaTea
I am actually crying from laughter in my office!
NerdyDirtyCurvy
*800 years of war*
Mary674
I don't know about France, but here in Québec we actually speak like that. :P
TeamRocketBlastOffAtTheSpeedOfLightSurrenderNowOrPrepareToFight
English: Potato; French: Pomme de terre; Translation: Apple of the earth; Fucking no!
tohubohu
We also say "patate" !
TheFrenchGirl
Putain, si!
Welley
Pineapple, butterfly, steering wheel, eyeball, dogfish, eggplant, blueberry and about 3000 more. English just went bored and mixed (1/2)
TeachMeStuff
gender with the French. (2/2)
tashinagray22
The Hitler teapot is what did me in..
thebluespirit
HERE ISCH MEIN HANDEL
tashinagray22
HERE ISCH MEIN SCHPOUT!
WowYouCanChangeUsernames
Désolé, mais c'est vrai, c'est une putain de pomme.
TheFrenchGirl
Sort la fourche, camarade, on va leur montrer!
enneque
A whore of an apple?
lildeidei
I understood this! Yay high school french!
AsAnAmerican
I'm with ya!
yesyesyoufoundthevegan
je comprendre une peu de francais, aussi!
AlFlores7
Yay me too viral high five!
NiceGuysFinishFirst
Ou vous pouvez utiliser Google traduction pour comprendre ce genre de choses!
lildeidei
Oui, oui. Le google traduction est tres... useful.
RanaAurora
One the phrase I remember from high school: Je suis le pomme de terre rouge.
SlowLightning
Omelette du fromage.
WowYouCanChangeUsernames
la*
RanaAurora
Whoops! Thanks!
RanaAurora
*The one. Apparently I'm randomly dyslexic.
TheFrenchGirl
You are also a red potatoe. Far more serious.