TheBloodyLady
98044
1622
40
Aug 25, 2020 3:17 AM
TheBloodyLady
98044
1622
40
ChiefMasterAirmanFirstClassSelectInCharge
Oh, those Russians.
KellyH77
He’s kinda got a Tom Hardy look about him in his eyes. I’d totally watch a Rasputin movie with Hardy as ‘The Mad Monk’
KleptoKea
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgGzAKP_HuM
EineKleineKitteh
He got that “Big Dick Energy”
thatlazylizard
My gay friend loves him. Talks about how women climaxed in minutes within sex. I told him women can fake orgasms. He still won't talk to me
GeneralNuclear
Pretty sure this guy found a whole bunch of lope holes in the bible in order to do all the crazy shit he did.
ButtProblemTerror
He was from a Christian sect that believed in sinning and then asking God for forgiveness in weird ceremonies
Lachie4472
Not joking, listening to the song rn
nunyabidnesstwats
He just stopped giving the hemophiliac kid aspirin btw.
NewAgeCowboy
Neat
RoosterBrewster
Hollywood: THIS is the biopic we need
HrafnAdventure
OddOod
a dozen *simultaneous* murder attempts
amglasgow
I like the RPG adventure where he's the son of Baba Yaga and nearly conquers the multiverse with magiic.
allizart
Plus being the og goth
Wanzik4
Please, he's like 1500 years to late.
ButtProblemTerror
Visagoths
jesusisherelookbusy
stuart1965
I think the Brits let the wanna-bees take the credit for his death
Irax
How does one "almost survives" a murder attempt?
Mochichichi
You misinterpret he almost survived a dozen collective murder attempts so to say he survived 11 but not #12 sorry if that isn't clear either
SuperiorPebble
He was poisoned and didn't imediately die, shot but didn't die but supposedly staggered into a freezing river and then died. Legends are dum
Mochichichi
To my understanding they threw him in a sack then tossed him in the river not he stumbled but /shrug
EvPointMaster
Tunisas - Rasputin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdkBs0VCSX0
Myrectumhousesasmallindonesianfamily
And... yup, godamn it, that song will now be stuck in my head for a week...
bluesun68
Didn't he replace a horse?
FirstThingThatCameToMind
that explains a lot about the women of st petersburg.
Zixtank
Warlock or necromancer. Still not entirely sure.
sarkonas
The OG Madlad
aykayem929
Big dick mystic, known to hypnotize
BennyLarva
Look into my eyes, directly into my eyes, do not look away, you are hypnotized ...
FabulouslyTiti
"I could you with a whisper to your wife..." LOVE ERB and especially the Russians battles. ♥
ifihadhandcuffs
Isn’t his dick in some museum?
aykayem929
Pickled in a jar, indeed lol.
FuckThemIfTheyCantTakeAJoke
Rumpelstiltskin
aspen8or
https://youtu.be/SYnVYJDxu2Q
DemonOtter
JauneHabanero
In the dark of the night evil will find her!
MethGasolinePissLemonade
Didn't he just take the kid off his stupid fucking doctor prescribed aspirin basically?
charlie2979
That didn't hurt, but, he could also apparently cure the kid when it appeared he was on the verge of death. Who knows really.
SuperiorPebble
The kid happened to get better once around the same time the queen got a letter from him. Rest of the time he just calmed him down.
charlie2979
People thought he was magic for a reason. Placebos are real though. Who knows.
ErrorUsernameNotSetToInstanceofAnObject
We can put "magic" as an explanation when people can show some magic.
MrBoopleSnootFluffkins
There was a story where he was the one actually making the child sick, made himself look like a hero when everyone thought he was saving...
MrBoopleSnootFluffkins
...the child.
charlie2979
Probably propaganda, not that the rest isn't. But it's a very muddy time period with so fucking many competing groups.
MrBoopleSnootFluffkins
I'd say there's some truth in it, lets face it, we know for sure nobody throughout time has had magical super powers, it was just a case...
MrBoopleSnootFluffkins
...of tricking people, and people were more isolated and easier to trick back then. Con men had the life of Riley.
451Rockhead
Killed by: poisoning, being shot, multiple stab wounds, chased to the river while being beaten, decapitated, then drowned under ice...
451Rockhead
Yes in that order
initialdave
https://youtu.be/YgGzAKP_HuM
J3lek
I feel like "almost" is in the wrong location in that sentence. It sounds like he was murdered a dozen times. But almost survived each one.
Bacxaber
I know the poison in the cake thing was because the cyanide or whatever was ruined when baked, so that wasn't Raz.
ChrisRye
“Survived almost a dozen murder attempts” would probably make more sense.
Spaceman292
They shot him in the head and it didn't stop him.
delmania
Most head shots are nonlethal. You need to aim between the eyes and the nos to guarantee it.
endangeredpanda9
I have a video to share that is quite topical: https://youtu.be/QNTCRBArJ38
Spaceman292
This doesn't sound true
uselesscommentsmyspecialty
Yeah, I’d say there’s a higher percentage of fatal headshots than non-fatal. I’m not going to check, though, I’ll just declare it’s true.
NewAgeCowboy
Need a list of all the attempts
uselesscommentsmyspecialty
If he survived 11 out of 12 it works.
dortmunder
Wouldnt it literally mean though that he didnt survive any of them? Should be survived 11, almost survived 12th.
Grimmrog
I alsmost made it to the finsih line, that still implies i sarted running but just didn't reach it, so the 12th murder attemp working is
Grimmrog
worthy the almost, it actually implies he made it through 11. but then every tie someone tries tomurder you, you die a little inside.
shyasen
My thoughts exactly.
uselesscommentsmyspecialty
I don’t recall the number, but it’s probably about right. He survived multiple attempts, but not all of them (assassination not murder)
PGTipsMonkeh
From memory, he was poisoned but the alcohol in his system basically made him immune, so his would-be assassins shot him, then left the 1/
PGTipsMonkeh
Room to decide what to do with the body. When they returned to the room, he wasnt there, they found him crawling outside the building 2/
Guybot1001
My dad read somewhere that he had a strategically-placed wart on his member that increased his... effectiveness in his coital adventures.
BoyAreYouStupidOrSomething
you can get those in prison.
deliberatemistake
The somewhere might have been in The Romanovs, by Simon Sebag Montefiore. Great read!
Denim777
i want to argue against this suggestion... i do... but would it not basically be a prince albert that can also feel?
deliberatemistake
What are you talking about, mate?
Denim777
getting a mole on the south head.
YureiBlank
RA RA RASPUTIN LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN
manchu49
Turisas! Sweet reference bro!
usernamechecksout02
RUSSIA’S GREATEST LOVE MACHINE
Schmebuloch
RA RA RASPUTIN, WANT YOUR BAD ROMANCE
ChickenROAR
Still can't believe this music video is from a different song. https://youtu.be/WhPvJOnHotE
Shovi
That's too slow, ain't nobody got time for that. I like this one better https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgGzAKP_HuM
ChickenROAR
More Speed = More Funk. https://youtu.be/V-HsORFhqIM
Shovi
The speedup goes so well with the video, it really shows something bad is gonna happen with the buildup.
GreaseMonkeyOfLove
Oh, come on, at least link the good version of the song: https://youtu.be/cdkBs0VCSX0
Santorrr
Eyyy this guy gets it. (Torille)
EvilDeadTed
I thought you said good version. That is not good.
uselesscommentsmyspecialty
THERE WAS A CAT THAT REALLY WAS GONE!!
Ovaender
(There was a coupe and then he was gone)
YouMayFindThisMildlyInteresting
Gone in sixty seconds?
uselesscommentsmyspecialty
I assume you’re having a joke?
Ovaender
That was the idea :D
uselesscommentsmyspecialty
Cool. I just wondered if you had a Mondegreen
sammers
R RA RASPUTIN RUSSIA’S GREATEST LOVE MACHINE
TheInternetDweller
IT WAS A SHAME HOW HE CARRIED OOOON
uselesscommentsmyspecialty
RA RA RASPUTIN LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN
TharrickLawson
THEY DIDN'T QUIT, THEY WANTED HIS HEAD
GreaseMonkeyOfLove
THEY PUT SOME POISON INTO HIS WINE