purplegorillacolonel
395041
7021
118
When it compiles on your first try
When your coworker with a computer science degree asks how to compile a shell script
When you're pair programming and no one knows why it works
When you realize you forgot to tell your boss something important and he's out of town
When a marketing person rudely demands an unecessary feature
When you realize your code from last month produces wrong output
When your coworker fixes an important problem ahead of schedule
Trying to complete the "last" feature
When you finally fix a major bug
After hearing that people like using your software
degenerator
That CS degree thing: Nailed it.
ManGettingHitByAFootballInTheGroin
As a programmer: before you get coding:
kernalphage
When the bug's fixed before they go to make the ticket:
YouKnowWhyIAmHere
as someone who took AP computer science 6 years ago I can confirm I learned nothing in AP computer science
semiAnonymousMe
As someone with a bachelor's of science from a Big 10 University, i can confirm that I learned almost nothing in my major.
InternetHawk
When you change a line of code trying to fix a bug...
Rheios
Everyone remembers an important bug and someone goes to fix it and its not there anymore. Noone remembers fixing it
Secsletariat
Based on the Assembley, I thought my computing course would be a bit BASIC, but I only got a C thanks to a lot of Java. Erm... Pascal, lol?
thegameball
Lole.
semiAnonymousMe
When you're asked to code a feature and get to tell them your code already does that. http://imgur.com/yNaJ44V
MagikHands
As a Software Engineer, I can relate to all of this.
ligence
Sysadmin's "major update & vacation" approach
sorryaboutthewatermark
RadishIsAMeat
Except in the real world Marketing is above IT so they get what they want no matter how stupid the request.
EvilandImaginary
Except where I work. Head of IT is like a tyrant and runs things like she's Kim Jong Il
expialadocious
Truth
semiAnonymousMe
How can they do work with no... internet?
gooseduckbutt
I don't need the internet to use the adobe suite (though sending my finished files to the printer could be an issue without it lol).
bdben
I think these gifs are more applicable to a software engineering firm than an IT department.
Velocilobster
Developer > IT
epicor
As a dev in IT I often get calls from engineers who can't map drives etc. Without my grunts some of you guys would code w rocks and sticks.
passivepicasso
Developers who don't know know how to A. Use Windows, B. Use Linux, and C. Use Google to Use A and B, are a complete mystery to me.
Sleelan
When changing something meaningless fixes the program -
f
Rheios
Why does my random comment of "WTFin FER F!!?" fix this thing?Is it a race condition? But there's nothing its competing with..wha?
KineticRX
When changing something meaningless breaks the program -
f
SlightlyNormal
What illusion do you live in, where marketing has no power over features?
WhereOnceThereWasAYachtNowThereIsNot
They certainly have power, but far less than they'd believe. I cannot name a product I've worked on where marketing asks for a change, 1/2
WhereOnceThereWasAYachtNowThereIsNot
and that change isn't reverted as soon as marketing turns their back 2/2
itsbeginning
I was gonna say... seems unlikely
farwall
Marketting makes recommendations to the business who write up requirements for the tech leads who estimate and plan. If marketting say 1/2
wam3483
All the layers really need to communicate though, so marketing knows whats possible, anf business knows the cost of what's possible.
farwall
2/2 to a developer "Oh, can you just add..." then no, 'cause there are no requirements specified and it hasn't be designed or planned :)
semiAnonymousMe
One with process. "Sorry buddy my hands are tied, you need to go through the system"
semiAnonymousMe
It's also very satisfying to have them resubmit a request, because you're basically telling them they are bad at their job.
maybeamonster
That first image is a lie. When it compiles on the first try, there /is/ something wrong. Unless it's haskell. But you gotta look anyway
CohenMejan
Haskill? Oh dear Haskill what is he up to now?
Rhodian
Haskell. *sigh* ... My boss decided to move our entire company to it over a fucking weekend. Everybody lost their minds.
maybeamonster
*nelson "ha ha" laugh*
pandainasink
explaining why a section of code doesn't work http://imgur.com/92qjYbj
semiAnonymousMe
or, if you do: " this will take too long to explain and you don't care :< "
MartijnHoekstra
Oh, that last one.
turbodog
Twas true when I coded in COBOL, PL/1, Fortran, BASIC, back in the day. Tis all the more true today. Damn kids and their ASP.net and Java.
AKUUUUUUUUUUUU
As my best friend likes to say, BASIC is for basic people.
dingos8mybaby
I know exactly 21 of these words.
TryToRememberForget
I just had to count to see what 21 words you meant. I know exactly one more word than you.
Einbrecher
First one is totally wrong. When something compiles on the first try, it's more like -
MasterHD
Exactly, compiling just means no syntax errors, it can't find logical errors.
KineticRX
Don't care how many upvotes you get; you're the winner in my mind.
passivepicasso
The compile is a lie.
HarryBlackstoneCopperfieldDresden
MRW client escalates ticket to emergency status, and once finished, they change what they want
Iluvkiwi
Psh marketing people
ArcticEwok
points++;
Theguybehindthecurtain
Or just points
CyberAkuma
points = points + 1 ' What? I mostly create testing scripts in a Visual Basic-based application.
indref
++points; // you plebian
bdben
Except those statements have exactly the same result unless you do something like foo(++points) vs foo(points++)
indref
++points is a single instruction, points++ pulls to memory, adds, puts back.
rectalstorage
Nope, any good compiler will optimize it.
VesselOfHate
let the compiler handle microoptimization. Please. On behalf of everyone who has to read your code.
bdben
You're right, I wasn't thinking about it in terms of optimization.
jxjin
Ahem... actually in both case you have to read-increment-write. But points++ must make a copy.
indref
Upvotes for you either way :D
lsseckman
cheeseguy3412
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cnr.png
NachoDog
http://imgur.com/7L3XNDc
AlexielConstantine
Two greatest problems in programming: "It doesn't work, i don't know why" and "It works, but i have no idea how or why"
Maniacbob
It's broken and I don't know why. Lets try this. Oh hey, it worked.
stackallision
#define malloc(n) malloc(n-1)
queryable
Weren't the two greatest problems; naming things, cache-invalidation and off-by-one errors? ;)
iDrinkDrano
the ol' "I put a <= when I shoulda put a <"
eronth
That second one is a gift from god.
tokomak
FTFY: The two problems in programming: It doesn't work but it should, It shouldn't work but it does, and off-by-one errors.
MasterHD
I've never had that 2nd problem, only the first one.
thegameball
Don't forget the heisenbug that works until someone notices it in the source code.
TheBritishAreComing
My entire experience with Xcode and Objective C ladies and gentlemen. Oh the zoom buttons were handy? lets remove them in the next upgrade.
OhhlordIamTheeNinjakurt
Want to have a working program, den lemme crash all other programs.
TheBritishAreComing
Want to change the font in the storyboard editor? let me just break it for you.
TheBritishAreComing
Want to resize an element? lets just remove all the other elements on the screen for you.
Rhyle
You forgot "this pile of garbage SHOULDNT work, how the hell is it doing that!?" Its like your second reason but one step further
EnterDMZ
I had this exact same thing happen to me. I was running a for loop in java with an integer that was increased by one every loop. For (1/?)
EnterDMZ
Values entered over 3000, it should have overflowed the variable. I found out however that when the integer hit the max value, on the (2/?)
EnterDMZ
next loop it got set back to the minimum value and kept looping until it satisfied the condition. It made me irrationally angry. (3/3)
Kaahr
I feel like the second one's not much of problem.
AKUUUUUUUUUUUU
Until something goes wrong, and you have no idea what it is, or why it's right, or what kind of moron wrote this garbage. Oh wait, that's me
AlexielConstantine
Oh but it IS. I mean imagine that happens... you still have to manage the program cause you wrote it... but if you dont know how it works...
Kaahr
Lol true. You gotta pray nothing goes wrong... Cuz if it does, you up shit creek.
feystorm
Joke's on you. You actually can compile shell script: http://linux.die.net/man/1/shc
thegameball
That fridge logic occurred to me as well.
ManGettingHitByAFootballInTheGroin
Just because you *can* doesn't mean you should
demonpixie
As a person who works in Marketing but has programmer friends, I apologize for my department...and Sales as well while I'm at it
SteveNotSteve
You apologize for deciding what to build and how to build it so that the developers can have jobs? Don't apologize for that.
demonpixie
I apologize for the sometimes unrealistic demands/expectations that can be thrown their way
canyuse
I could really git into these...
ManGettingHitByAFootballInTheGroin
I find your comment quite bazaar
Lichtius
You clever little shit
NoneOfThisEverHappened
Bro, your references are out of control.
CyberAkuma
I was going to comment on this, but it would just get ignored anyway.
lsseckman
azazyel
I think you're being a little too Frank
purplegorillacolonel
Git is love. Git is life.
flipflop7
Until you sneeze. Then git suddenly becomes hatred and death, and your files will be shredded by a thousand wronged cats.
TheKnowing1
The wrong output problem is solved with proper unit testing. Unit testing is your friend. Too many people ignore their friends.
TheLumaister
Knowledge is power
TrapsAreIllegal
I know unit testing is good, but i prefer just having a few text boxes interrupt the progress to let me know I'm getting the right results.
R41D3NN
Which is why my company (and all companies should) implement test driven development.
SteveNotSteve
"Huh? Test it? If it doesn't work, I'll just claim I can't reproduce it or I'll blame someone else." -- Every software developer ever.
dracuella
You're not a software developer, are you? Some of us take great pride in our work. Integrity ftw
FrostytheSnowcolt
My friend once stuck his tongue in a light socket.
CyberAkuma
That's tasteing, not testing.
copingcabana
Programmers don't have friends.
BrassKicker
Notice how he said "is your friend" not "is one of your friends". Unit testing is your only friend.
senshikaze
I honestly haven't been able to figure out when and where to insert unit testing :-/ Maybe I just suck
TheKnowing1
Any time you create a new class, you create a new unit test in a testing directory. Test as many public methods as possible.
MetroidPrimeHesTheBest
Not if you define your units wrong!
TheBeifongRunaway
Yeah, it's cuz they're all on here
kukubrew
Test Driven Development, sir or madam.
iLoveItWhenMyFingersSmellLikePussy
I wish I had known about unit testing earlier.. I'd like to implement it on my projects, but I'm afraid it'll take months (and no pay :p )
TheKnowing1
The best thing would be to create unit tests for new code and add in tests for old code piecemeal as it changes.
iLoveItWhenMyFingersSmellLikePussy
Good point.. now I just need to learn proper unit testing.. but first I need to get motivated to code again, tho.. sorta got writer's block
blacksteve
Srsly. I'm thinking laziness, working on crazy distributed systems, or just uninitiated into the world of rigorous testing.
epicor
In corp environs there is also political crap happening above your head. "Just release it." "It's not ready." "I know. Release it." :(
azazyel
I hate when the business just decides to live with some bugs. I'm not looking forward to our next release.
blacksteve
Ok that is entirely fair, point taken.
TheBritishAreComing
Unit testing is all fine and dandy until a user decides they're going to connect a Kinect and try to manage their wordpress site with that.
CyberAkuma
What do you mean I can't use an Xbox controller?
epicor
my 1st major proj: "We've thought of everything. They can't not use the right fields here." First feedback: I can't figure out how...
Sturgmeister
"If you make something idiot proof, someone will just make a better idiot."
gudemonster
Getting code to compile on the first try is simple. Getting that code to compile and not buggy as fuck first try: impossible.
stoffo
Then there're race conditions... best if they announce themselves as "segmentation fault"
ManGettingHitByAFootballInTheGroin
In my experience, >90% of bugs are a missing ; or a typo and get caught by the compiler. Obscure bugs are a major pain, but not as frequent
NotLazyJustDontCare
Caught by compiler = syntax error, not bug
NotLazyJustDontCare
Bug = does the wrong thing. Bugs are like teens in the 90's. If your compiler catches it it's like today's teens, it can't even.
ManGettingHitByAFootballInTheGroin
Maybe I used the wrong term, but either way... That would be the likeliest reason it does not compile on the first try.
infernalcombustionengine
I'm upvoting you just for your username, I'm agreeing with you because your right.
ManGettingHitByAFootballInTheGroin
Thank you, dear sir and/or madam.
infernalcombustionengine
One of the greatest gags ever written.
azazyel
Need one for "tester brings you bug that's not reproducible."
peternielsenmusic
As someone that was a tester for 7 years, there's no such thing as no repro case... only a bad tester :P
azazyel
Try testing an IOS app. Some freaky stuff happens and I have no idea how it happened.
Kinderschlager
when i provide video evidence of 6 other people having the issue, i fucking expect a solution
theMediaman
Frankiejoneston
I went to a screen and an error came up. Fix it.
farina
http://media.tumblr.com/02752b72b0a36895a185302a1cf318a0/tumblr_inline_mj1aisY8Jg1qz4rgp.gif
deftpink
my engineering friend is currently struggling with this exact issue
jra12
Once had a bug that wouldn't reproduce when I wanted to inspect it, but if I ignored it it'd reappear, the time taken to inspect the bug 1/2
jra12
Gave the program enough time to close the open file before the next line, and the bug would disappear 2/2
jazzgangster
as a test specialist that is highly unprofessional
azazyel
It happens, even having a bug closed is ok as not reproducible is a good thing.
Lambpasty
EpicPublixCustomerServiceStaff
God I was hoping it would be this gif. Hands down favorite reaction ever
Yeetspeaks
Doc Rivers FTW
purplegorillacolonel
This should be #11
mayeltheanima
I think Lance is more appropriate here
ahewitt0000
I second that.
WhereOnceThereWasAYachtNowThereIsNot
As a test engineer
siler7
itsallcode
i love all the princess bride stuff i'm seeing on imgur today
docweird
Andre the Giant Software Tester.
Cisforstupidthatsgoodenoughforme
Usually PEBCAK and/or PICNIC.
SirSandwich
ID:10T?
azazyel
Not for me. Our newest release is going to have bugs in it that I just have no idea how to repro. They are just really weird errors.
autosanguine
Ok, I know PEBCAK, but what's PICNIC?
Cisforstupidthatsgoodenoughforme
Problem In Chair, Not In Computer.
azazyel
"Problem In Chair, Not In Computer"
autosanguine
aaahhh. I like that one.
jaw41883
As a current QA Specialist, another one I hear a lot is "Works on my machine"
azazyel
That makes me want to pull my hair out.
Tehadam
micro-architectures... pesky fuckers.
MrPredator
*shivers* They found a bug, can't reproduce it. That's why, when I beta test things, I try to be a good tester and make it reproduce.
Paramike
http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/349/9/8/alan_rick_hd00001_by_x7994-d6y0ral.gif
ImgurCelebrity
"If it's not reproducible, it's not a problem."
KallickObs
Or from a testers perspective, when a Dev can't reproduce an obvious issue.
VesselOfHate
or from both perspectives, when the dev can't ever reproduce the issue but the tester can reproduce it reliably.
Kinderschlager
THIS! so much THIS!
icomehereforthecomments
Or when devs conveniently forget that they're operating on more bandwidth than the client. Blah.
ProbablyDrunkAgain
Or when they say the bug is "environmental", but customers report the same bug.
cow042
I prefer when dev skips a repro step that is required to get it to occur.
fondlethegooch22
Seconded.
Aaronb1138
How about this from an implementer: Here is the bug and how to reproduce. Dev: Nope, no bug. Me: Here is a screenshot. Dev: Oh now I see.
kreyll
More like "Did you look at the attached screenshot plus annotated video?" "....Oh now I see" *facepalm*
Kinderschlager
"here is screenshot and video" dev: no bug
Aaronb1138
Extra scary: this is on a released data storage platform... and it craters the whole thing.
ProjectKurtz
How about I give you a screenshot of my foot up your ass
azazyel
Not sure if you're doing Agile Dev but it's so annoying when something's just wrong but it matches the Acceptance Criteria.
KallickObs
I know that feel, bro. I do do agile. "There's no my account button" "Yeeah i'm gonna need you to go ahead and look at the requirements."
FloodingWaters
been there.
cyclegaz
Don't you read over the AC before starting? Challenge that crap there and then!
azazyel
We've done away with too many of our ceremonies otherwise I would.
cyclegaz
Then you aren't doing Agile! Got to be set about it otherwise it just becomes the same shit.
FloodingWaters
from an implementation perspective, when Dev tells you "works on my machine" my reaction: "great, can i send the customer your machine?"
FloodingWaters
*for clarification, this is in reference to a 100% reproducible defect on a code build that supposed to be releasable.
me0me0me
Last time they told me what to do about it. Run directx diagnostic and it gives you a file named DxDiag with all your comp specs.
charmanderr
Most infuriating thing ever...
TrustMeIdoThisForALiving
Virtual machines man virtual machines. If it fails in there its generally a bug.
TheBritishAreComing
It's worse when a client does and looks at you like an idiot when you can't fix something you can't create
azazyel
As a Tester it's so annoying when someone from Business shows me a bug and acts like it's the end of the world
TheBritishAreComing
omg yes the amount of times the margin has been 1px out and I get the reaction "we may as well abort the site". Give me a minute to fix.
TheBritishAreComing
my favourite is scale, when your small family business goes from 10 visitors a day to 200,000 in an hour even batman would be unprepared.
SteveNotSteve
That doesn't sound like something a tester would say. Most testers I know understand that the business side pays the bills.
azazyel
Been doing this for a long time and usually the Business would lay off, now with Agile Dev they're all trying to be hands on
Rheios
And having business folk behind the reigns of dev decisions is like letting a 4 year old drive your car.