mylohall88
47419
1499
84
Some penis for balance
Nov 10, 2016 9:17 PM
mylohall88
47419
1499
84
chrisb413
Favorited, thanks for the info.
terrorofthederp
So 0.25 of the male population rarely leave the house and struggle to straighten their backs. Thats about 40k men in the US!
DonaldSossamon
CaptGunpowder
And STILL no info on how to make it bigger! Damn you, nature!
mynameisfatmike
I am shocked, truly SHOCKED how few jokes there are in the comments about the calorie one.
youknowwhyimhere6969
I hate being apart of the 399
zekesmith
As a part of the 1 (the .25%, if you will), you're not missing out on much. Way more effort than it's worth.
GallagherMcCallister
If you could sux your own penix, the question is not if you would , because we all know you would. The question is... Would you swallow?:o
EmoWookie33
So if you don't use it you do lose it.
imtheimgur
Mine is always shaped like a boomerang, when in use (if you know what I mean)
DanielSavage
.....No I don't.
akmarksman
You can throw it and it'll come back to you?
idontwannaworkworkworkworkworkwork
I feel like having a penis must be fun. You can move it around, it kinda dangles and bounces around. Is it as fun as it looks?
imtheimgur
I imagine it's as much fun as being able to shake your boobies around.
idontwannaworkworkworkworkworkwork
True.
TequeHead
Not really. And you get 23 second orgasms...
TopCommenter
Compare frequency to duration.
TequeHead
What do you mean? Women (sometimes) can have multiple, and they could every day if they wanted because masturbation isn't just a male thing.
GreedyJungle
It's not really THAT fun. I've sat on my balls and dick so many times. Even just riding a bike isn't even worth it. Helicopter dick is fun.
Chaoslost
If I had a penis for a day helicoptering it would be what I 'd spend my time doing. Aside from experiencing sex as a male at least once
GreedyJungle
Helicoptering is fun but you gotta factor in balls. Can only do it for so long because after a while it's like ramming em into a wall.
Chaoslost
Hmmm.. Hold the balls?
GreedyJungle
But then your hand would get in the way and you'd smack your dick against your hand. If your balls are in the tight position it could work
boopProxy
happyishturtle
Oh my
TiniestFox
r/distension
BigFatNoise
Holly Michaels
D34dStar
Finally that quest has ended. Always saw that gif.
RighteousIndigJason
Define "unused" please.
onet12
OFP only for peeing
GreedyJungle
If your parents made you use the anti masturbation cross then this might ruin your day.
OCDhazard
Nice referencing.
HickLife
I'm pretty sure if you jerk off it won't shrink
Terenagan
But can I over jerk?
iamthisguy247
Give it a good ol' stretch.
ocdmn
Phew I'm save then
DrewTheStampede
Thanks for that
wheredowehidethebody
Didn't know that much about my doo-doo-willy-danger.... Thanks
ramblinjd
I am the 0.25%
Cowhoney
you can blow yourself?
Chaoslost
.
everyzooisapettingzoounlessyourealittlebitch
.
saintjimmy43
So if i stop smoking, my penis will triple in size? Awesome!
OddlyIrrelevantUsername
I don't remember smoking THAT many cigarettes....
LogicalSenselessness
Time to quit smoking I guess
Kromerag
BinomialLemon
Oh I member!
notabadlyphotoshoppedimageofyourmom
First thing i thought of was how many cigarettes i have smoked in my lifetime... fuck..
saucefordipping29
I guess i can blame all the loads i have taken over the yrs for my extra 10lbs i cant get rid off.
giraffopotomus
I've given myself head before. unfortunately it feels a lot like giving a bj and almost not at all like you're getting one.
dangurious
This is why i use my penis everyday!
TheTrekkieWhovian
The part about the longest penis can't be right. I mean I'm far to close to that. It has to be bigger than that right?
Biskittluvva
May I suggest moving your face away from the screen a bit?
ColoneISanders
How you doin?
TheTrekkieWhovian
I am well, how nice of you to ask. :)
ColoneISanders
I've got nothing. Guess I could be a creepy perv and ask for proof, but I'll just say congrats on the biological achievement.
TheTrekkieWhovian
Even if it's only out of morbid curiosity I understand. I'll get a Banana & PM you in the next day or two if you really want.
ColoneISanders
Look forward to it.
ThisGirlsGotStyle
I, uh, wouldn't mind being included on that as well
ozeri15
Fuck this pro-circumcision ad
BourbonBuck
Fuck facts! American Society of Pediatricians reinstilled that it is cleaner, prevents infection, phimosis, and penial cancer
jackpkmn
Compare and contrast the reasons for male circumcision with the reasons given for female circumcision.
ferosso
I'm sure an eye without eyelid is cleaner as well. Except it dries out and loses almost all functions, but hey, it's clean!
YaBoyWillyWill
I WILL NOT MUTILATE MY DICK
ButYouAintGotNoLegs
And yet absolutely no medical association recommends routine circumcision..
TrumpIsAFelon
I wonder why we haven't evolved to lose the rumple foreskin
ozeri15
http://www.circumcision.org/studies.htm
BourbonBuck
Fuck your hate on 1/3rd of the men in the world
ozeri15
Right, cause by not supporting circumcision I hate the circumcised
SoapBatDerby
Bacteria is not necessarily bad for you
EndangeredTang
Stop chopping up baby dicks weirdos!
DrFrankenfurter
Did any body else read the title as "Everything you need to know about female penis'" because of the symbol
DrFrankenfurter
Or ten things or what ever
Irreal
For that the shrinking part is relevant as hrt will make it harder to get errect
Jagadid
Oh yay we can grow skin grafts. Cause mutilation to help other mutilation victims.
HeroinAddictedJesus
Crop the last 1 out! Are you trying to ruin blow jobs for all of us?
ExcuseMeBearFuckerDoYouNeedAssistance
Not all of us, just you weirdos with a human skin turtleneck on your wieners
Wdahl
Yeah, there's never been a study that shows circumcised being cleaner than uncircumsized. As long as you keep the hygiene it doesn't matter.
Thedevilofsnowflakes
No one wants smelly BJs anyways...
PassiveAgressiveShark
Nah it's okay we'll still give blow jobs calm down. There's bacteria everywhere we aren't scared
HeroinAddictedJesus
ColoneISanders
Biggest hot button issue since the election: Circumsized vs Uncircumsized
MnemonicMonkeys
A large proportion of ken in the US are circumcised
obscureusername
I'm pretty sure all Ken dolls are circumcised
Pawnderlust
Probably healthy bacteria
redhatbluehatonehattwohat
Bacteria isn't bad.
VoidIncarnate
Are you saying this post should be... circumscribed?
HeroinAddictedJesus
I think you were a victim of auto-correct and meant circumcised. +1
LosPer
Good for the immune system...
PoweredbyOSengine
Is 7 calories per teaspoon good or bad ya think?
HeroinAddictedJesus
7 calories for a snack is pretty good.
bendoverrover
There more bacteria in mouths than there is on a penis
MrBoomGnostic
There's actually antivirals found in uncircumcised penises that help to protect the phallus from nastier things. The vagina has bacteria too
ManBunion
cunnilingus increases the chance of getting oral cancer
akmarksman
Michael Douglas is safe..he already has cancer.
clutchthepearls
We're all gonna die eventually...
TiniestFox
I like the way you think.
atleastIwasnt36
Get fixed anteater
HeroinAddictedJesus
You realize all penises have bacteria right? Not just uncircumcised ones.
atleastIwasnt36
It was a joke
snarkybitch
Pretty sure theres more bacteria in the mouth. Ive never worried about it unless there was a smell
stollaT
"Its only smellz"
TrumpIsAFelon
As a man I do the smell check too. Little finger play then a neck hug and go in for a little ear nibble and finger sniff.
Mrziffle
The nose knows.
happychef86
Men do the smell test as well.
NoWittyUsernameIdeas
If it smells like salmon, keep on jamin'. If it smells like trout, get the fuck out.
NoWittyUsernameIdeas
But I can't really smell the difference between trout and salmon, so, you know, I usually just keep jamin'.
happychef86
We hope you like jamming too.
albinoturtleclan
If you make it to her belly button and it smells like a long John silvers, abort
MooseKittens
I do the smell check too
HeroinAddictedJesus
Everyone should do the smell check, regardless of the genitalia.
Rophy
what should I do? I was born without a sense of smell. :(
HeroinAddictedJesus
Taste test unfortunately
tatchase
My first time ever giving a girl oral pleasure - first time seeing a vagina. I ignored the discharge thinking she was turned on. I also
tatchase
Ignored the rotten fish smell as I had heard the rumours. Turns out - Thrush. Tasty cottage cheese. Inexperience is a cruel mistress.
snarkybitch
Yep
PizzaAmnesia
The owner should do smell check first. Or just wash it if there is a slightest chance of getting lucky.
HeroinAddictedJesus
Owner should wash regularly whether they are expecting sex or not.
FightMeYouLongAssBitch
BRB, gotta update the calorie counter.
CatStevenz
But how many weight watchers points?
HellaFishsticks
One of the best comments I've seen.
CatStevenz
But how many weight watchers points?
HeroinAddictedJesus
SephiRothIRA
You are 537 cals over your daily budget. Recommend 6 hours of moderate intercourse or 3 hours intense.