Identifying dangers and red flags is important, but that said, some guys just like a girl with a bit of tummy they can squeeze. Not everything you're self-conscious about is something he's trying to neg you about.
She dropped the "NEG" term. From what I remember, this was a method of psychological/emotional manipulation thrown into 'fashion' among a group of shitheads belonging to what was called the "pickup community" years ago. The idea was to 'disarm' or 'test' women by saying something "NEGative" followed by a compliment. My guess is these incels observed seasoned cockroaches using this and other cringe techniques 'successfully' and decided to start SELLING the information to other incels. Repulsive.
Yep. Often called “neg hits” or “complimimsults”, to sound positive while being negative to promote confusion and uncertainty to get people to want to “win” favor as psychological warfare. Was covered extensively back in the days of alt.fast-seduction Usenet groups but been around far longer. Shitty method to use.
20+ years ago, I was not confident when dealing with women, so I looked into "pickup artist" stuff to try to learn how to be more confident. Eventually I realized how toxic and nasty the whole community is, but even before I realized that, "negging" was the number one thing that I didn't like about PUA tactics, and I avoided material from any coaches who espoused it.
remember, though, that all human beings are imperfect and WILL make mistakes from time to time. Other human beings can choose to forget about the mistake and continue in loving support, recognizing that they make mistakes too.
Out with a friend recently, a fairly quiet petite woman who was happily eating when an 'aquaitance' loudly said out of no where 'aren't you worried about getting fat?'...I wonder if she might have been some kind of target if she hadn't said 'no? What a stupid thing to say.' It's an ignorant rude comment no matter her size, and something tells me he'd locked onto her for being quiet/polite
This is more specifically how to spot narcissism, which can lead to more extreme things like violence and rape but not necessarily. Still, important to leave narcissistic relationships asap.
This is a joke right? So man telling a woman what they think is a form of abuse, and just a preliminary stage for use of force, rape and sex traffic? Comming from a society where people always speak freely whats on their mind this must be joke. Also constructive criticism? Arent womans the ones who always wanna try to change the man (because we are childidsh and do stupid stuff)?
And your pets. Also, the inverse is true for all these. So, if they’ll harm your pet, they’ll almost certainly (85%) harm you. And if they’ll harm you or your kids, they’ll almost certainly harm your pet (91-95%). So if you see any instance, leave, because DV types are very strongly correlated.
Always remember ladies … the right man for you is the one that, from day one onward, always glows you up gives you more SELF esteem than you had before him. The rest, are not right 🤷♀️
while i totaly believe that bad things happen when in a relationship i SUPER hate that they never show their sources. like "9/10 women [...]", "8/10 women", "40% of women". really?
I'm not denying that it's a problem. Nor am I trying to minimize the threats and harm women face. If you are going to mention specific numbers, I would also like to know what those numbers are based on and where you got them from. Facts matter, especially when trying to highlight a real problem.
“8/10” stat (it’s closer to 9/10): Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
A lot of source report intimate partner violence as a subset of domestic violence. For the “9/10” statistic it’s probably a comparison of rates of DV from a parent/family member versus intimate partner. Kind of from definition any DV victim knows their abuser so this 9/10 stat is just comi n from how they know them
You’d be surprised how doing a five minute google search to try and find the sources from these types of videos will teach you so much more about the topic if you actually care to learn.
Care to learn being the operative words. I have mixed feelings about you doing their homework for them, but I appreciate your last point, I hope the seeds you plant bear fruit.
I agree about doing homework FOR others, because that leads to bias in the worst case; however, some people aren't educated on research methods. They simply do not know how to find or identify unbiased sources. This is extremely evident in conservative proofing in that they are victim and employer of confirmation-bias. Both purposefully and by mistake, which is usually obvious by who is doing the talking. Confirmation-bias is one of the simplest and biggest pit falls for self research.
She got the stats wrong (close but still wrong) but they're not too hard to find. The stat is [nearly] 9/10 women [who are murdered by men] are murdered by men they know. It's from the Voioence Policy Center who used FBI data and the actual rate is 87.5%. According to FBI data the stat is 76% of female murders are committed by someone the victim knew with 34% from intimate partners and 20% are classified as relationship unknown. Links in reply.
https://bjs.ojp.gov/female-murder-victims-and-victim-offender-relationship-2021 and https://vpc.org/press/nearly-nine-out-of-10-women-murdered-by-men-are-ki">2021">https://bjs.ojp.gov/female-murder-victims-and-victim-offender-relationship-2021 and https://vpc.org/press/nearly-nine-out-of-10-women-murdered-by-men-are-killed-by-someone-they-know-and-two-thirds-die-by-gunfire-new-violence-policy-center-study-finds
Statistical rounding is absolutely okay in cases with less than 4 percentage points separating the tens. At least that's what I learned in research school, school for research.
So rather than educate people so they can avoid the ones that don't learn from things like this, you're advocating for, let me get this right.. complete silence on the subject? Security through obscurity is a bad choice
BackToTheFromTimes
Downwote bad content.
NorrinxRadd
What?!
freebie
Source: https://www.tiktok.com/@the.self.defense.girl/video/7456958723035122974
OrphanSonOfSAMandMary
Brian Atlas says the studies are in, and The most abusive type of relationship is lesbian couples, second is heterosexual, third is gay men's.
CatsMakeMeSick
I love Banff national park. I it is so beautiful.
MarsIsAfire
I just finished reading The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker and cannot recommend it enough. He covers this and so much more.
Dewybugg
Another really good one I recommend is
‘ Why does he do that’ by Lundy Bancroft. You can find free PDF versions of the book online.
The more people learn about abuse and abusers, the more as a society we can call it out and work to fix it.
Froggi3
Kinda not hard to know the guy if he's in the middle of beating your ass(yes, it's a dark humour joke)
Turkleturts
I was waiting for the funny part. Isn't this a meme website?
Causeitsmadeofmeat
Giving away your secrets?
Turkleturts
It's no secret that I come to this site to see funny memes
RedJacketHero
Identifying dangers and red flags is important, but that said, some guys just like a girl with a bit of tummy they can squeeze. Not everything you're self-conscious about is something he's trying to neg you about.
jamiekellyxxx
If expressing your fetish outweighs your sense of decorum, you should still be dumped.
emu314159127001
For those without sounds, wtf is this about
DarkTheme439
She seems nice.
jfitz
I wonder how early in life she got bored of people telling her she looked like Julia Roberts.
jfitz
Hmm, is this the least offensive comment Ive ever been downvoted for
ChrisCorona
Probably not early because she looks nothing like Julia Roberts. I look more like Roberts and I'm a dude. :)
NChomsky
She dropped the "NEG" term. From what I remember, this was a method of psychological/emotional manipulation thrown into 'fashion' among a group of shitheads belonging to what was called the "pickup community" years ago. The idea was to 'disarm' or 'test' women by saying something "NEGative" followed by a compliment. My guess is these incels observed seasoned cockroaches using this and other cringe techniques 'successfully' and decided to start SELLING the information to other incels. Repulsive.
JinxRocks
Yep. Often called “neg hits” or “complimimsults”, to sound positive while being negative to promote confusion and uncertainty to get people to want to “win” favor as psychological warfare. Was covered extensively back in the days of alt.fast-seduction Usenet groups but been around far longer. Shitty method to use.
thekeyofe
20+ years ago, I was not confident when dealing with women, so I looked into "pickup artist" stuff to try to learn how to be more confident. Eventually I realized how toxic and nasty the whole community is, but even before I realized that, "negging" was the number one thing that I didn't like about PUA tactics, and I avoided material from any coaches who espoused it.
udmurt
I was like that too, and luckily I was never confident enough to actually try any of those tactics anyway.
OrphanSonOfSAMandMary
https://youtu.be/ShkCv5O59Ro?si=XMGRTFSZfHg15Gvy
KurtopiaCreative
It's not hard to be a decent human being.
InsightfulAwesomeIG
remember, though, that all human beings are imperfect and WILL make mistakes from time to time. Other human beings can choose to forget about the mistake and continue in loving support, recognizing that they make mistakes too.
shardix
Ok. And? That has nothing to do with the topic at hand. Domestic violence, rape, and human trafficking are not 'mistakes'.
jamiekellyxxx
It’s not a matter of difficulty, it’s the joy that abusers find in their own behavior. It’s a brain thing not a skill thing.
KurtopiaCreative
Yeah, I see you are absolutely right.
Tarerco
Out with a friend recently, a fairly quiet petite woman who was happily eating when an 'aquaitance' loudly said out of no where 'aren't you worried about getting fat?'...I wonder if she might have been some kind of target if she hadn't said 'no? What a stupid thing to say.' It's an ignorant rude comment no matter her size, and something tells me he'd locked onto her for being quiet/polite
kerms
This is more specifically how to spot narcissism, which can lead to more extreme things like violence and rape but not necessarily. Still, important to leave narcissistic relationships asap.
AasimarGER
This is a joke right? So man telling a woman what they think is a form of abuse, and just a preliminary stage for use of force, rape and sex traffic?
Comming from a society where people always speak freely whats on their mind this must be joke.
Also constructive criticism? Arent womans the ones who always wanna try to change the man (because we are childidsh and do stupid stuff)?
jamiekellyxxx
Found the rapist
GrandmasterSpank
What does 'DV' stand for pls ?
Tiptaptimmy
Domestic Violence
valvarsson
Dysfunctional voiding
SwankyPotato
Douche Vag
Superstzday
domestic violence
GrandmasterSpank
Ahhh ok. Thnx !
FentuckyCriedKhicken
Da Vinchy
[deleted]
[deleted]
ninjacookiechef
Yeah it's like every video cuts off before you get to hear the end of the
SleepyKitten
I, too, would also like to know.
tetondons
For reference, a post that did that a few days ago irritated me: /gallery/OJPGqRI/comment/2447075651 It was OP
bitemark
That's abuse I'm leaving
kevbot5000
Totally justified.
Bonnedad
Just so you know, they will beat your kids too. So get out for their sake
nothingunused
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife.
donutposse11337
And your pets.
Also, the inverse is true for all these. So, if they’ll harm your pet, they’ll almost certainly (85%) harm you. And if they’ll harm you or your kids, they’ll almost certainly harm your pet (91-95%).
So if you see any instance, leave, because DV types are very strongly correlated.
FrigNewton
Big fuckin' deal. I turned out fine, right?
Right?
Okay, maybe leaving is better for everyone.
WombBruiser69
They will do worse than beat them…
Cowmayihelpu
maplegrl
Great advice! Wish I had heard it BEFORE I married an abuser....I did survive and LEARN.
ATacoWalksIntoABar
Always remember ladies … the right man for you is the one that, from day one onward, always glows you up gives you more SELF esteem than you had before him. The rest, are not right 🤷♀️
duhqueenmoki
The one that throws glitter at you, not shade. (not literal glitter)
InsightfulAwesomeIG
The same is accurate for men to remember regarding ladies... symbiosis is grand :)
Emuc64
Read too fast - thought you typed "plows" instead of "glows"
ATacoWalksIntoABar
That’s the problem with most of us, we get hooked on the plow forget the glow part 🤣🤣
Shitzamboni
Whynotboth.jpg
KiwiGameDev
These are not exclusive
MantisTobagganMD
I mean...
Woogyface
while i totaly believe that bad things happen when in a relationship i SUPER hate that they never show their sources. like "9/10 women [...]", "8/10 women", "40% of women". really?
gaggmaggot
4 out 5 dentists prefer trident
ChiLLeCheeze
Death by trident it is.
ourari
Yup. And also which women? Urban or rural? Which nationality? What age group? Etc.
kiski
How long are their fingers? What did they have for dinner? Do they like baseball? Etc.
ourari
I'm not denying that it's a problem. Nor am I trying to minimize the threats and harm women face. If you are going to mention specific numbers, I would also like to know what those numbers are based on and where you got them from. Facts matter, especially when trying to highlight a real problem.
LuLuPennyAndOdium44
What were they wearing in 3... 2....
OverThunkTheRadiation
“8/10” stat (it’s closer to 9/10): Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
OverThunkTheRadiation
A lot of source report intimate partner violence as a subset of domestic violence. For the “9/10” statistic it’s probably a comparison of rates of DV from a parent/family member versus intimate partner. Kind of from definition any DV victim knows their abuser so this 9/10 stat is just comi n from how they know them
OverThunkTheRadiation
Here a related stat for the trafficking of minors:
https://www.iom.int/sites/g/files/tmzbdl2616/files/2018-07/Counter-trafficking%20Data%20Brief%20081217.pdf
Not quite the same 4/10 stat but similar.
You’d be surprised how doing a five minute google search to try and find the sources from these types of videos will teach you so much more about the topic if you actually care to learn.
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Care to learn being the operative words. I have mixed feelings about you doing their homework for them, but I appreciate your last point, I hope the seeds you plant bear fruit.
PectorialMuscles
I agree about doing homework FOR others, because that leads to bias in the worst case; however, some people aren't educated on research methods. They simply do not know how to find or identify unbiased sources. This is extremely evident in conservative proofing in that they are victim and employer of confirmation-bias. Both purposefully and by mistake, which is usually obvious by who is doing the talking. Confirmation-bias is one of the simplest and biggest pit falls for self research.
Turkleturts
Don't have to provide sources. Just spout off numbers for likes on whichever vapid social media account you have.
RandomStuffsandThings
She got the stats wrong (close but still wrong) but they're not too hard to find. The stat is [nearly] 9/10 women [who are murdered by men] are murdered by men they know. It's from the Voioence Policy Center who used FBI data and the actual rate is 87.5%. According to FBI data the stat is 76% of female murders are committed by someone the victim knew with 34% from intimate partners and 20% are classified as relationship unknown. Links in reply.
RandomStuffsandThings
https://bjs.ojp.gov/female-murder-victims-and-victim-offender-relationship-2021 and https://vpc.org/press/nearly-nine-out-of-10-women-murdered-by-men-are-ki">2021">https://bjs.ojp.gov/female-murder-victims-and-victim-offender-relationship-2021 and https://vpc.org/press/nearly-nine-out-of-10-women-murdered-by-men-are-killed-by-someone-they-know-and-two-thirds-die-by-gunfire-new-violence-policy-center-study-finds
PectorialMuscles
Statistical rounding is absolutely okay in cases with less than 4 percentage points separating the tens. At least that's what I learned in research school, school for research.
RandomStuffsandThings
I wasn't calling out the rounding. I was however calling out the huge chunks of very relevant and important missing words.
PectorialMuscles
Totally valid. Data needs to be clear and concise, not whacked about like a bat.
[deleted]
[deleted]
stillnotawake
Ah yes, hide all of those behaviors. Give her the wonderful life she deserves. And hit her with your deathbed confession. Checkmate. That'll fool her.
arch1000
WTF?
theAught
You think guys don't watch these? Or do you think all abusers are just dumb?
AfterTheRainComesTheRainbow
We know you're dumb bud. You don't have to spell it out.
theAught
Amazing analysis.
devilsdisguise
So rather than educate people so they can avoid the ones that don't learn from things like this, you're advocating for, let me get this right.. complete silence on the subject? Security through obscurity is a bad choice
theAught
You don't tell the enemy your battle plan is guys is the take away