blacklab243
122181
4063
135
Mar 4, 2019 5:24 AM
blacklab243
122181
4063
135
Yote1963
What a stud!
somedumbcrumb
But aren't the Nazis American now?
MKB94
I highly doubt it's going to be Germany provoking the next world war within the nest 50 years..
MKB94
next
tobougg
This guy was probably a radar man in a sub then, infantrymen wouldn't speak like this.
JonesyTheCat
He's ready to join in 3 years later I'm sure.
noblesseoblige7
Or Japan
MateriaCaelestis
Not the moral high ground tho lol
Mayonnaiseisainstrument
If we really wanted to start another war, we first would have to get rid of all the US troops here and then we'd need an actual army.
Arracor
Or ally with the US this time. Either we fix our shit and you're on the side of right, OR we're overrun by Nazis and y'all have experience!~
Krendils
Alkuam2
Who the hell downvotes cap?
furzinderdose
Tony is probably still a little salty even after the whole Thanos thing...
Krendils
I know right oi *gets emotional* just trying to match the gif to the story man ><
Nolurkeranymore
USA joint the war as last one and shot someone who lay on the ground. Nothing special. The UDSSR fucked us really hard and did all the work
jlurosa
So you grandpa is Russian?
DiogenesPendergast
Sorry it's the Us that has the most nazis around even in charge some say.
confanity
Ironically, the two biggest centers of Naziism in the world today are the USA and Russia.
DutchKincaid
Mercenarity
Yeah, but where was the USA during the Sack of Rome.
WastelandPuppy
Probably so funny for him, because he's on the other side of the MG for once.
EdwardWongHauPepluTivruskyIV
Mess with pop pop, you get drop drop, shots up to the double glock glock... Me no surrender
iCanHearYouClemFandango
subparsubpoena
HalfSharkAlligatorHalfWeeb
svoka
Unpopular opinion: in WW1 Germany was good guys (well, not-the-worst guys), but they lost, so was imposed unreasonable fees leading to WW2.
justonemorepicturepls
I don't agree that there were any "good guys" in WW1. The fact that the overly strict treaty of Versaille was one (but not the only) selling
justonemorepicturepls
point in Hitler's campaign is historically well documented and not unpopular at all
svoka
Surprisingly I don’t know if there was any war with good guys in it.
justonemorepicturepls
It's debatable if there is ever a good reason to go to war, but surely there are better and worse reasons to be measured against eachother
svoka
youp. Somehow winners always had better reasons and moral highground ;)
Ebolawakens
WWII?
svoka
WWII what?
svoka
USSR was Nazis ally for first half of WW2, and their crap not much better than Nazi, really
svoka
Pretty much all in WW2 was really shitty to start with. European allies basically caused WW2 by fueling nazism with policies
Ebolawakens
You're blaming Europe for wanting to avoid a war after a massive war which was just fought.
svoka
USA just killed like hundred thousand innocent people to show off their nuke
Ebolawakens
And stop a murderous Japan that was not going to surrender.
numnumz
The Germans gave learnt tanks don't work so now they use money.
regregex
...after their money stopped working and they started using tanks
ImgurPlz
Spot the Italian or Greek? ?
Nicalanius
Feralkyn
Maybe he meant "gov't?" The German gov't? I'm unsure.
numnumz
Have learnt, past participle of learnt
Feralkyn
Ahh, I wouldn't have guessed that he'd typo'd "have" lol
Feralkyn
--Ahh it was YOU ty for clearing that up
JamProusersname
A fun picture for all those with a human-killing machine fetish.
Xen300
So old Grampaw's not especially interested in following global politics then.
MateriaCaelestis
Political engagement is for commies, real patriots die fighting capitalist wars for their imperialist masters
Snooj
I've seen a lot of variations of "grandfather" but that's a new one to me.
MoyerTheDestroyer47
Someone should update him on the fact that the list of countries most likely to start World War 3 definitely doesn't include Germany.
Grayx17
Someone should realize he is joking
DonnaNobleInTheLibrary
As a German, I don't think our army would even be able to defend us in its current state, let alone start another war.
removekarling
It doesn't need to defend Germany on its own any more given NATO and a plethora of other alliances.
DonnaNobleInTheLibrary
Yeah, but would be nice if we'd at least *help*. As is, we couldn't even do supply runs - no supplies to run, and trucks are probably broken
Arracor
Yeah no, Russia/China/USA are the ones most likely. (Y'know, if we don't manage to get a real president before it's too late.)
DubyaSux89
I would argue that India and Pakistan would be the most likely. Especially with recent events.
Arracor
...oh?
JamJarre
How old is your grandpa Jesus Christ
Paoloc0mments
2052 years old?
QuamvisSintSubAqua
89ish at least, if he was 15 and lied about his age in 1945.
thebridgejumper
I thin he looks old enough to vote.
firstlaughofthedaythankyou
Voting is not a reason to be thin.
UsuallyComments
His grandpa is Jesus Christ?!
sunriseswede
Yes. His other grandpa is just Phil, but we're talking about Jesus in this particular convo.
Martellus
No, he’s asking Jesus Christ how old his grandpa is
SerenePrincess013
Martellus
SerenePrincess013
Probably, considering my "mother" is a whore. Would t surprise me in the least that she'd fucked you too.
semitransparent
Nobody messes with PopPop
justbelowme
The non stop pop pop
TheMysteriouStranger
Give Popop your hair
didiefastgmes454
Popopopopopopopopopopopopopopopop
ontheceiling
My grandad was Pop Pop. Now my Father is Pop Pop. You don't mess with any Pop Pop, trust me!
Michealbay
Or you get stainless steel
EdwardWongHauPepluTivruskyIV
Mess with pop pop, you get drop drop, shots up to the double glock glock...
Megalodann
Nicalanius
ImAlwaysChasingLimes
The fact that you call it pop pop tells me you're not ready
AccountCreatedToUpdogVotes
Pursuant to Poe's Law I'll have to ask if you were joking or unaware that "Pop Pop" is a relatively common nickname for grandfather.
dah2001
It’s a joke from the show “Arrested Development”.
Rulweylan
I don't know what weapons world war 3 will be fought with, but Germany is most likely going to be bringing sticks.
BellaKiss
Germany now has millions of men who ran away from war in their own countries never mind fighting for kafirs.
Feralkyn
Why sticks?
Rulweylan
The Bundeswehr is massively underfunded. At a NATO excercise in 2014 they had to paint broomsticks black to 'simulate' vehicle mounted guns.
Feralkyn
Oh my god, that's amazing/tragic lol, thank you
Rulweylan
That's only a small part of their issues: https://carnegieeurope.eu/strategiceurope/75653
Feralkyn
Damn man that's a hell of a read. I wonder if anything's changed since then.
mattsall
Looks like if WW3 with Germany started tomorrow he'd be long gone before America decide to join in.
vaspap
They'd join in just in time to tell British people "youd be speaking German if it wasn't for us" despite that being completely incorrect.
YoumaboiBlue
They wouldn't care it would be a European problem until the Japanese fucked up a harbour
RackhamTheRed
Nothing to do with Hitler declearing war on the US...
Homosexualsaregay
Wasn't that after Pearl Harbour?
RackhamTheRed
Yes. But they had a defense treaty with J. that said "no help if you start shit on your own". H decided to declare war on the US, even with
RackhamTheRed
most of his advisors being strongly against it
TheRealAethrys
FDR shaking his head at people already forgetting he technically broke the law to save Britain long before pearl harbor
Turalisj
We were selling guns to both sides in the Napoleonic Wars.
TheRealAethrys
Which was yet another in a line of pissing matches between French and British Monarchs. Not that similar to the Reich v Democracy in Europe.
NyQuilDaydream
Plot twist: Germany goes to war with the US to restore democracy
Drakhma
heh
XedtheRed
Whose democracy? Theirs? Ours is doing just fine.
ImgonnapartylikeitsCOVID1999
We should be more worried about civil war part 2 then ww3
PedroBenecol
You are correct with your _than_.
Janusha
Also... If there ever is a WW3, it will be USA that starts it.
JoelJoestar
All that propaganda trying to seed division? If we get a Civil War you better believe someone is going to capitalize on that discord.
BlacksMcNutt
Not worried, i practice at the rangec each week
MicahtheMartian
Is troubling but true that when the masses don't have an enemy to focus on their rage at, they turn it on their neighbors
azureraptor
Doesn't help that the media lives to fan the fire. Literally. That's their revenue model now. More butthurt outrage = more clicks.
GreenSscythe
What would that even be? There are no easy geographic lines this time? Each state would be a battleground for Lib/Con or Urban/Rural.
neil137
been too long since they re-did that movie
ParticularlyMentallyInsane
I expect Viva La Revolution first.
dedlanguages
Either way we're fightin Nazis.
Bad214
Yeah, civil war on steroids I’m thinkin’.
HermannTheTeuton
All this civil war talk is total bullshit. Libs vs cons? One side has 400 mil guns and the other fights itself over genders. Kinda 1 sided..
Kaptainfantastic1
One has an average iQ of 48 & the other owns all the wealth, education, real estate, dental hygiene, & is allies w/ the world over so yeah
Dankking
Ya what side is allied with Russia?
DinglefartTootBucket
For real, this
Dankking
I’m pretty sure one side has the presidency right now. And all the guns!!! America is not gonna have a civil war. Just some riots
ImgonnapartylikeitsCOVID1999
I'm pretty sure all those guys with guns in Chicago killing each other aren't Conservative Republicans
Dankking
Your right if there was a “war” all the criminals would have to protect one side? While the non criminals protect the other side? What????
ImgonnapartylikeitsCOVID1999
I was just giving one example of Non Conservatives with guns. But by calling it criminals vs. Non Criminals I see you have your side picked.
Dankking
not on either side tbh. I personally believe America’s should believe what they want. But murderers are criminals. Crazy that’s your example
RawSuger
it must be pretty fucked up to be german and see shit like this. like they know we joking but they also know we arent
saltygamer92
As a German I don’t care reading stuff like this
Shnoplefuzz
Nope, it's quite funny because granddad could indeed roll over germany's army all by himself.
pareidoliaperson
I think America is more likely to be the "Germans" he's expecting to fight.
llllllllllll
This is relatively tame, but sometimes out of nowhere worse things are said and written. The line between joking and racism is blurry.
ARoseByAnotherUsernameWouldSmellAsSweet
Hell no man, we make jokes like that daily. We aren't the same germans from back then and neither is this country. So let them jokes flow mr
TastyTesterTheDoughnutMolester
It is important to be able to joke about wars of the past. Humor diffuses the tension of emotionally difficult things, that is it's value
shitgoblin
Comic relief?
MorskiPes
Writing this from a country that was directly invaded by the nazi: Ihr seid cool, liebe Nachbaren.
ClockworkOrange1971
Hey man as long as the EU doesnt start making an army for "self defence" I think we will all be fine.
Sm9yCg
Not really. We have idiots, too.
IamNotAshamed
Kind of scary from the country that elected Trump as president, to be honest.
TonyStank
I think most people know Germany is a very different place today compared to the past. Also, most people know the next authoritarian (1)
BigBidiza
Actually, it's quite funny. That grandpa could probably solo us.
Somewhatawesome
As a German, it's fine. Some people are kinda butthurt about that... But they complain about everything.
MaroonFishy
Also, old dude might not be joking. War fucks people's perception of reality.
TonyStank
power to attempt a power grab will probably not be Germany. My bets are on China becoming our future overlords. (2)
blaueswunder18
Can confirm
agermanguy
The only problem is that americans don't have the same type of humor if it's vice versa .
[deleted]
[deleted]
estcstbi10
Except every so often there's a Holocaust Memorial or recognition and certain right wing MPs walk out in protest
koalakiwi
It's about the responsibility to make sure their legacy won't die. They know how important peace is and thinking for yourself.
TheWombatStrikesAgain
It's not so much about baseless accusations, it's that for so many people it's the only thing they know about Germany. Imagine every time(1)
TheWombatStrikesAgain
smo talked about the US someone made a joke about slavery. Sometimes you just roll your eyes, but over time it gets mentally exhausting. (2)
belzebubblebath
I had a date with an expat once and we ended up in a humorous interview situation with me applying as a job for a gravedigger (Idk how)
belzebubblebath
And she rejected my application and I said "then I'll dig the biggest whole with the most corpses ever!" and she said
belzebubblebath
"Yeah I heard you Germans were really good at that" for a first date ... rough.
belzebubblebath
*hole, sorry
marsgoose
Psh I get accused for crimes done centuries ago by people who happened to live on the same continent I was born on.
marsgoose
Guys I've been to Spain once, I'm pretty sure I didn't do any of the colonialism.
marsgoose
Unless me growing blueberries in Texas counts as colonizing the indigenous rednecks.
marsgoose
Who are lovely people btw and get lots of undue hate too.
justonemorepicturepls
Yeah, I don't mind the jokes, but when I visited an ex gf's family in the US, I narrowly avioded an argument with some nut, claiming all of
justonemorepicturepls
us Germans being responsible for the Holocaust. My great grandmother was imprisoned in a concentration camp and the entire mothers side of
justonemorepicturepls
my family had to flee to Siberia, because they were in political opposition to the Nazis, yet I'm somehow responsible for a crime commited
justonemorepicturepls
committed in part against my own ancestors, when I wasn't even born yet. The hypocrisy of some people...
koalakiwi
German here: it is so funny if you see bundeswehr as a threat even in the slightest... Haha bundeswehr... Good one
Selerox
Same thing with the Brits and stuff about the Empire.
CotterPyke
....I'm ethnic German and heard insults a million times worse my whole life-sometimes from women i was dating...this isn't even in top 100
CotterPyke
the irritating thing is that society immediately runs to the rescue of literally ANY ethnicity at the least hint of an insult-not Germans
[deleted]
[deleted]
solsactual
According to Sun-Tzu that's the only time to go. Sounds like you should take notes...
leorex
Ze Germans won't be bothered - if there was round 3 they know gramps would be long underground by the time the US got involved.
beingbadisgoodforyou
Its okay my dude, we became a peaceloving nation for a reason. Those horrors dont need to happen again. So much dead family to pray for...
TheWombatStrikesAgain
I find it more annyoing, because the reason 99% of jokes about Germany are WW2/nazi-based is that people do not know anything else about it.
RichardDastardly
We used to make more jokes about Germans on holiday - pretty sure most europeans aren't making WW2 jokes often even now. Yay internets
ImgurPlz
Most Germans think Americans are insane. Also, the nazis are back, but seem to be runningUSA. Sooo, good luck.
Glueckskind
As a german: yes it is. And you see it all day long. It feels like a curse you can't escape.
kingkongkeom
I dont mind, if its a good joke its a good joke. Its like joking about vietnam war, your pumpking president or that guns arent the problem:)
TheWombatStrikesAgain
But you can make jokes about the US on tons of different topics. Jokes about Germany are 99% about WW2.
kingkongkeom
thats true, the only other topics are bavarian Lederhosen and that we dont have any humor :)
Stardown
No worries mate, this time we annex the continent via EU. Lessons learned.
goneinaflash911
And still can't seem to get the UK
nichfra
Am German. all I thought reading this was: "You don't need that much firepower to push over our army!"
BigBidiza
But our marine got a nice sailing ship... oh, wait!
RichardDastardly
And some holiday subs. Combine with the Royal Navy & both of us still wouldn't have a navy!
Secsletariat
i'll have you know our royal yacht knows no equal
PepparJonas
German here. I find stuff like this to be funny. You should hear some of the jokes we do about WW2. Sadly they dont translate well.
zombiehuntingleague
??
SchrodingerMil
I need to hear some.
merelyadequategooglymoogly
Some of us speak German. Hook us up.
deinfavorit
Jonas, rück die Witze raus!
furzinderdose
He can't. He's busy with enjoying work and healthcare...
trumpypumpyinyourrumpy
Please tell us
Wuuppa
Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas... assaulted! peanut. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
27yoUGLYvirgin
As someone speaking German, I don't get it.
EyeTri
Salted peanuts. The one peanut was assaulted. Half a play on words and half is the thick German accent you need to make it work.
Wankathon
Look, calm down, your last joke got out of hand
odanobunaga89
Damn right buddy, german myself and have been flinging them around through school. Still occasionally do, cause its fun.
Maaatth
"Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"
rubber666
Zis is not funny, you know.
Maaatth
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGbe5qy5274)
marsgoose
That joke was banned by the Geneva convention!
Sauroctonus
I once briefly worked with a German, he was on the phone for ages with an airline to go home. Afterwards he was complaining about them and >
Sauroctonus
< joked he should set the luftwaffe on them, or something. He then regretted it as he seemed to think we'd be offended, since we're English>
Sauroctonus
< We were not, we thought it was hilarious. :P
IAmNotTheDevil
I can read German, hit me with that sweet joke.
deinfavorit
Of course you can read it. We use the same letters
IAmNotTheDevil
Smartass.
v
RackhamTheRed
öhh... nä
deinfavorit
Ö, ü, ä, ß. But the rest is the same
IAmDrBanner
Germans tell jokes?!
StaalTheNotQuiteSoUndefeatedAnymoreButNevermind
Honestly, from half my family being german. German humour is just inappropriate for public telling. Dirty and dark humour galore.
RecentlyDeceasedHighQualityCorpse
All the best!
CWStJdeNobbs
I find it quite similar to certain types of British humour just from a different angle.
Sauroctonus
Lots of puns and joking about former imperialism?
MiyagieOne
That stuff isnt funny, iam german and my grandfather died in concentration camp!
MiyagieOne
He was drunk and fall from a Watchtower....
CaptRackham
I don't know if that was intentional but that might be the funniest line I've ever heard
RackhamTheRed
Imposter
NotACanadian
I don't get it
Tamaril
for a second I thought your name was NotACommedian
JustLettingPeopleBeWrong
Only Canadians understand.
MattShnoop
Doesn’t translate well -> pun. Language, but also “German WW2 jokes wouldn’t be well received by others” implying they may be dark/offensive
MattShnoop
Theres also the subtle hint of the possibility that the joke is “we’ll get them next time” and the Germans will try again, making it darker
vauhtihirmu
Is there a pun I'm missing in "doesn't translate well" or is the joke in "wouldn't be received well"?