whereisbizzy
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I gave birth to my son about 8 months ago and I struggled with postpartum depression almost immediately. I resisted treatment, not because I'm against it - I'm not, I used to take Prozac - but because I thought not loving your baby right away was a sign there was something inherently wrong with me. What good would treatment do if I was just a shit mother?
When my husband finally forced me, I had been hearing the depression voice for months without realizing what it was. Telling me I was worthless, I shouldn't have been a mom, and just endless unjustified anger.
I stopped hearing that voice recently, and I took this picture and thought that's how my heart finally feels when I look at him.
Sorry for the long post, I just thought maybe other people might get help if they heard my story.
EDIT: you all are amazing, and I'm so glad I posted this
donkey136
I watched my wife go through this. You can beat the beast in no time! By the look of that kid you are an excellent mother.
Facetaint
That's a beautiful baby. Congrats on feeling better. Kids are so awesome.
touchednotbyanangel
The struggle is real. Now you can experience the joy
Warbunny5000
That ok, glad you’re better. Now raise that kid to be a good human!
CoCoKunt
I feel this. Had it bad with my 1st. So glad you’re doing better !
timeloveandyarn
My son turned 1 yesterday and I'm still struggling. Good for you, OP
whereisbizzy
If you wanna talk about it I'm here
timemac
Postpartum is difficult thing to go through. Glad you were able to make it though!
jessie8080s
He's adorable, get better and enjoy everything
valkyrieQueen02
It happens...it's very real and fucking scary. And more people go through it than you think. *Hugs*
NRXNext
Mother nature's a bitch - don't listen to her. You'll be a great mom.
periwinklepanda
You are not alone! It took until after having my 3rd that I finally sought treatment for postpartum depression and anxiety. I knew I had /1
periwinklepanda
it but I really, really didn't want to go back on antidepressants. Developed an autoimmune disease after my 3rd child and am unable to /2
periwinklepanda
to take antidepressants but it's been much more manageable than after the births of my first 2. So glad you're doing better!
minnedelyn
Mommying is not easy! Good on you for seeking help! Enjoy that boy, he’s precious!
luker1
You go girl
lumpycakemix
I made it 6 weeks with my twins before I knew I needed medication for my POD. Best decision ever!
KawaiiInari
I'm happy that you got help for your struggles. You go enjoy that baby boy and have lots of fun in your new life journey!
newfoundhero
I'm glad you made it through. Your son is one lucky dude
PainItForward
Aww what a ham :)
RunsOnPizza
Good for you, OP! If you decide to have another child, talk to a doctor about your experience with PPD!
FawltyMotors
My wife and I had our first child only days ago. I'm so worried about depression taking hold. Its no joke.
Camer1
If it happens get help. There’s no way worrying will prevent it — please just get rest and enjoy your new miracle.
FawltyMotors
Thank you. I if it comes to it, I will be sure to follow your advice.
Shellbear3000
New momma here&I have ppd&I didn’t feel that immediate loveI didn’t feel it till 8 wks&enjoy being mom til 3mos being on Lexapro
sowasvonsowas
I'm glad things are better now. My daughter suffered with terrible postpartum depression. I think it's not at all uncommon! Beautiful boy! ♥
BabyWaffles94
PPD is a bitch. We're strangers, but I'm PROUD of you! It's an uphill battle, but you'll make it before you know it. Stay strong. ❤️
RhorGath
Congrats on the sex and also on being able to treat something. Our bodies are dumb af "hey I made a baby GET SAD AND MAD AS FUCK"
Smurfles
He’s absolutely gorgeous @op xx
drivetankhitcars
You did the best thing you could do for your son. From one PPD mom to another, you are a strong and loving mother!
Twinklepot
Go you! Enjoy your lovely baby!
krispiporkchop
As a first time mom, I also went/am going through this. You're an amazing mother.
whereisbizzy
Thanks!
ProudMuggle
That little munchkin is so cute!
humanhotplate
My wife had postpartum psychosis, it was hard to get through, but once she got the help she needed it has been loads better. There is a
humanhotplate
Stigma regarding postpartum depression that needs to be destroyed because it effects tons if new mothers, and they fear treatment and refuse
humanhotplate
To admit they have it, for fear of others thinking they don't love their baby. Be open with your feelings and never be afraid to seek help.
KillEmAlllllllllllwithkindness
You are HIS mother, he will love you no matter what. We moms are human too, we love the best we can and hope it’s enough. You got this ????
whereisbizzy
I got this. Especially today, y'all.
KillEmAlllllllllllwithkindness
You definitely got this ????
KillEmAlllllllllllwithkindness
My phones adding all those question marks! Was trying to be supportive damn it, technology heckin bamboozling.
whereisbizzy
Hehe mine did that too
SomethingSomethingTraLaLa
And don't be surprised about the anger postpartum can bring too. So much is still taboo despite our supposed progress on mental health.
Imguralterego
Not so much anger for me, just bewilderment that I really didn't feel any immediate love for my child. Took three months to feel acceptance.
Dalylah
People used to live in generational homes so parents had more support. Doing it without enough support is hard. ~Former single mom.
SomethingSomethingTraLaLa
At one point we lived with my folks while husband was away for deployment. It lifted so much stress and my mom realized what was happening.
Dalylah
It really helps to have a loved one there to help you care for them, especially when they are that small. +1 for having a great mom :)
johnste
Amen. It took me months to enjoy being a mom to my son. Felt he was a demanding larva. 2weeks on antidepressant, CLICK I adored him.
whereisbizzy
The anger is what scared me the most. I've never been an angry person, I wasn't me at all.
BlameTheDeer
First time mother here and can agree with the anger part. I was more angry than sad. I was never an angry person so this scared me badly.
lexielaughs
I was angry and suicidal after I had my son. I'm pretty sure it was PPD, but also my ex was a passive aggressive narcissist. #singlehappymom
SomethingSomethingTraLaLa
No person had ever brought such vile rage in me as my son did. I hated that feeling.
whereisbizzy
That must have been terrible. And the guilt over the feelings makes everything worse.
mineovermatter
What's the cause? Do we understand it medically/chemically?
SomethingSomethingTraLaLa
It's just you had all these baby creating hormones and then suddenly you don't, and that drop affects people differently.
asquiiiiiiisha
It’s not just that - most women experience the “baby blues” due to the sudden shift in hormones, but it resolves within a couple of weeks.