It's TWINS!!

Jan 5, 2018 6:27 PM

boobiesarelifetho

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101176

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1498

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159

I thought there was just one bun in my oven but there's two! I'm over the moon excited!

Now you gotta mentally prepare yourself for when both twins are sick and puking all over you at 3am...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I have plenty experience there. I swear every baby I pick up vomits on me....

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 330 Dislikes 1

That's some crisp lasagna

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Twins basil

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Congrats to you both

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

Mine are about to turn 2. Good luck! Happy to offer any advice.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Mine turned 2 a couple months ago. It's been rough! I almost miss the newborn stage. Almost...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I’m so sorry.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Congrats!! I found out I'm pregnant 3 days ago and my fiancé is adamant that it's twins. I'll be happy with just one :p

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Was it twins???

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 3

I'm closing shop after this. Idc what anyone says. Twins are good, shut er down.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

Very good. Make enough to replace yourself and call it a day.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dude are you in Texas too??? Sweet! Those are some very cute aliens :) how far along are you now?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wow. You're gonna be pregnant for 18 months?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Looks like they have their own shelves to bake on <3

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

My condolences (my twins turn 3 this month)

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Congrats on even less sleep.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Congratulations on the crotch goblins

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You know what causes sibling rivalry? Having more than one kid.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm investing in a little octagon baby gate so I can throw them all in there.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

5 babies enter, one baby leaves... A CHAMPION!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I hope you have an easy labor & a fast delivery! ♥ ♥ ♥

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My condolences.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

*Insert entire team rocket speech*

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Either congratulations or god help your soul. Can't tell which is socially correct. I don't want kids.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

Both are correct. Very correct. Source: Am twin dad.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

v

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

At birth you need three adults living in your house for the first month. 1 to hold/feed babies, 1 to do dishes and cook/clean, and 1 sleeps

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Can't I just train them and sleep while they do that?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But seriously, dude, it's like baby WWII be prepared and have extra people in the house. Or order takeout for every meal. And don't shower

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's a great approach, as it lets you sleep while your mother-in-law re-arranges everything you own

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Im a twin, it’s awesome! She’s my best friend :)

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

My ex has a twin sister, they had not been apart 24h before I met them

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That kinda makes me want to cry. I was so happy that there's two so they can keep each other company.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

Hormone overload time https://youtu.be/YMmzc_WhUmQ

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Im so glad, of course we had normal sibling shit but honestly, my sister is my best friend. Like help bury a body kind of friend ;)

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My family is full of twins and they are all really tight, just like normal siblings really, but it's way easier to have kids at the sametime

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If they are boys, they will fist fight. However they will always love each other and have each others back. Source: I am a twin.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

As long as they don't break anything. My fiancee and his bestie were almost like siblings and they STILL throw each other around.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hahaha oh damn you're gonna be so broke!

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Omg yes. Thank God we both have decent jobs and nice families. We would be SO screwed.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 4

You do also get two for the price of one set of pre-natal/delivery doctor visits.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's good op, truly I hope the best

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Oh look, my biggest nightmare. Congrats @OP! Rather you than me.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ha! It was mine too!!! I'm sitting there in shock and my mom is like "well I was a twin, your dad is a twin, your gma was a twin.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"You have a set of twin aunts so it's not surprising." And I'm like oh you didn't think of mentioning that before???

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

To be fair, if it's that common in your family it shouldn't be too big of a surprise ;)

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I didn't know about my mom or dad. Just my aunts. Apparently my mom's twin didn't make it and my dad's died of a childhood illness.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Different sac, fraternal twins could be boy/boy, girl/girl or boy/girl. Good luck

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Hoping for the set. Boy/girl. Then I can close up shop.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Don't close up shop, make it a union shop with prohibitive union dues.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I'm passing this joke on. My fiancee is in a painters union & he teaches osha classes for them.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I need him to come around to my husband's business and inform him that making me do pvc glue all the damn time is unethical. Headaches -.-

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Funny but he's not a painter...hes a glazier but their union is called painters...i don't get it

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Could also be identical, i.e. mono-di twins. Am a dad of inertial mono-di girls.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I also have mono-di identical girls. Their dividing membrane was much harder to see. They had to look at a specific gestation to see it.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's pretty rare though, right?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't exactly know. I had thought that mono di were more common than mono-mono(1 placenta, 1 sac, 2 babies) but I don't know the %.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Relative to fraternal twins they're rare. It's also not controlled by genetics at all so it can happen anytime

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wow congrats. My twin boys are almost 10 months old. Feel free to ask me questions. 1 is trying to eat my toe right now. So there’s that.

8 years ago | Likes 150 Dislikes 2

Good teeth yet? Mine didn't like raw meat yet and I suspect it's their gummy mouths just waiting to sprout teeth

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*don't

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

It gets better. Mine are playing mario kart with me (almost 3 years old)

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Are twins more likely to be cannibals?

8 years ago | Likes 84 Dislikes 1

I think he’s just sampling right now. Hard to tell if he will acquire a taste for human flesh. College & infancy...best times to experiment

8 years ago | Likes 60 Dislikes 0

Just as long as they don't snack on my dogs everything is cool. And I mean, if they eat humans my grocery bill would be lower.

8 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

But where will you get the humans?

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I'll just let them out during feeding times.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Are your twins dogs?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sadly no. I do have 2 dogs tho and they are much better behaved.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

When was the last time you got a full night's sleep. I have 1 newborn, and my God it's a lot of work!

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

We didn’t sleep train our first until 9 months (new parent mistake). Sleep trained the twins at like 4 months so now most nights are good.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Good to hear. We're on our first. It's tough learning to be a parent. The good times are great!!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The first kid is always the hardest, especially if you're not used to tiny babies. It gets easier I promise!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is that a bunk bed?

8 years ago | Likes 289 Dislikes 0

It’s a double decker couch

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I just understood the joke. Bunk beds in my uterus....not my bed where I was sitting when I posted this...

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Lol no but I'm about to make it into a bunk bed. That'll work right???

8 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 3

Congratulations. You're officially a body builder.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Don't let anyone tell you different, twins are awesome and not difficult. The first few months of are tough and sleep deprived (1/2)

8 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

But when they begin to explore and interact they will entertain each other and be less demanding on parents for constant attention.

8 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

It's true! I was a nanny for two twins for over a year and though they we're harder than one baby, they were only about 125% as hard.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My cousin had quads and had trouble but my other cousin had twins and she's had a pretty good time with them, twins are the freaking best

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's so comforting. I love the idea of them being together and comforting each other

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

For sure! I catch my girls giving each other hugs when they're feeling down even though they're "too cool" to be doing it nowadays.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

How do you tell which one is evil?

8 years ago | Likes 142 Dislikes 2

The one on the left.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I honestly can't wait to find out.

8 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 2

Put an EA job application in front of them, kill the one that smiles and reaches for it.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

The one that’s born with an eyepatch will definitely be the evil one.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

There's no way of knowing until puberty, when the evil twin will grow an evil goatee.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They are both spawn of Satan. LOL

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pro tip: both are evil

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Both, always both

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It'll be the one on the left, right?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't worry, they'll show you

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Put them in a ring with a single sacrificial dagger in the center. Whoever attempts murder first is evil. Reward the other with affection.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

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8 years ago (deleted Jan 5, 2018 11:10 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

The evil one will have a goatee.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Hold them underwater for 5 minutes. It’ll be the one who survives. Worked before, right?

8 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But what if neither make it?

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Good news - both were great kids!

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0