leftshaark
112530
2531
68
Feb 20, 2018 10:36 PM
leftshaark
112530
2531
68
RoastedSalted
My mother saw this on FB and believed it. Got really mad when we busted out laughing. We thought she was joking.
EmoBacon
top tier
UnremarkablyInteresting
That life would give me lemons.
ObsceneTentacularInsertions
lemons cost a dollar each.
Snowthulu
My dad told me there was a special breed of mountain cow with shorter legs on one side for balance, so they could only face one direction.
themooseisloose
My dad said his farts didn’t stink...I ran away crying the first time I realized it wasn’t true.
Brettlybrau
I never had a dad... sad face
RJK1988
When I asked my dad what Yamaha meant, he told me there were three brothers: Ya, Ma, and Ha. I was 5. I believed him.
MondayFortunato
“I love you and am so thankful to have you”
stratus41298
I'm waiting for the inevitable commenter who sees only in black and white. NO LIES ARE ACCEPTABLE
Tornadotaco
Except Santa and Jesus probably
Beardedagentman
Then that person doesn't have kids...who ask for a snack the 700th time that night. "Sorry..the kitchen burned down. Go back to bed."
butlerfetish
"The TV broke."
Imthedroidyouwerelookingfor
Santa is real. No exceptions. Even if you stop believing, Santa is real. It will make kids happy, and it will make Christmas special for you
AwkwardKeming
There's a ton! Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Jesus, the Easter Bunny, an economic viable liberal arts degree.... just tons of them.
jarjaristhesenate
My coworkers dad convinced her that when an ice cream truck’s music is on, it means they’re out of ice cream. Evil bastard.
thepunnypenguin
I got letters from the tooth fairy. “Susie tripped and lost all 4 front teeth, so I ran out of money at her house. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
leeksbeetsandberries
My dad told me that pine cones growing on trees were Canadian bananas, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't try to eat them.
johnste
Dad, what did you do in the war? "John Wayne & I won it." He served in Panama in 59-57. Where I was born. In 1959. "The War" ended in 1945.
Maybeinanotherdimension
My son was terrified of werewolves. It was so bad we finally told him thay while he sleeps his father and I go out and slay them. We
Maybeinanotherdimension
Said we eradicated them 2 years before we told him what we did. He was proud of us and he slept. Win win.
NowIHaveToChangeThis
My girlfriend told her daughters that I eat monsters and the only one I haven't eaten yet is the tickle monster because he's funny.
ArchbishopOfBanterburry
This is a man who recognized a learning opportunity for his progeny and wasn’t about to let even the slimmest margin of truth prevent it.
valen00
The best lies have an element of truth in them, Titanic had 12,000 jars of mayo on it.
duckshooter
CMDRKrikos
My dad told me he knew where I was and what I was going at all times. He got in trouble when I ran off and told gma it’s cool cuz he knew.
skeletophilia
My parents told me they loved me.
WoodrowWood
Dark sided.
mgeemyboy
My Dad taught the Fonz how to be cool.
TheSidewinder17
My dad told me he wouldnt beat me with jumper cables
cable7193
THERE IT IS!
TheSidewinder17
Username relevant?
cable7193
Kinda
dkizzll
I believed my dad was Hulk Hogan until I was 8. He was quite convincing.
makelthappen
Pics
wadenelson1
My dad told me when the ice cream truck played music that meant they were sold out. Kept me from being fat.
Userlivewire
I told him the same thing
blacksocksnevergetdirty
This! My friends dad told him the same thing. He turned out to be kind of a jerk
BlackCatsAreMyJam
Probably from the lack of ice cream
merbaby
My parents told me it was the music truck that went around playing music for everyone.
theproofisinmypudding
I was told that it was the skate sharpener
wadenelson1
My dad told me I'd go blind if I played with myself too much. I said "Dad! I'm over here! Follow the sound of my voice!"
bpetersen
This joke was told by Willie Nelson at the end of Beerfest
NauticalRimJob
I love that this is a repost from Reddit that even says "Ask Reddit" and yet everyone on Imgur comments like this is the original post.
NauticalRimJob
Reddit's little brother has never been a more appropriate analogy for Imgur.
IdrinkALLtheBeers
Thanks Willie Nelson.
CasuallyImguring
It is truly amazing to see you are able to post despite being blind.. How many times did you touch yourself and how many more before death?
Cobra10106
Woosh
cbjfan
Or maybe you're the one who was wooshed *mind explodes*
Cobra10106
Woosh
Charizard006
Upvoted both times because its nice to see someone who enjoys wooshing
theirownreward
I once told my niece not to go looking for her uncle because there was a large dangerous bird in the yard. Uncle was fighting with his gf.
boofhead60
he was not lying
wobblecopterr
That he would come back from buying cigarettes...
juffowup00
Well Tyron, maby there is a huge line
YeahIGoToCollege
relSaul
upvoteallgoats
Heavy
bamcobra
I’m sorry. That sucks.
spankitformedaddy
https://imgur.com/9pVuxfI
wildatheart499
Just think in another 10 years fathers will no lo get leave to buy cigarettes soon it will be Vapes
wobblecopterr
That was Soo 2012 bro
DaOllieGSauce
My dad is a surgeon... when I was a kid he told me that there was an O.R. dog that they fed all of the parts of people they cut off too...
DaOllieGSauce
Can’t edit. *to
mischrys
That's ate up.
wadenelson1
That if you swallow bubble gum...
NZSheeps
... you fart bubbles
wadenelson1
watermelon seeds...
StupidEcho
...you get pregnant
Beardedagentman
No no. Gum. with a G.
thegrandadventure
Your comment is my favorite. Glad I found you down here
MrSnowy
Holy shit top comment right here
thrymn
The other one won't get you pregnant either. But a tree will burst out of your abdomen.
Beardedagentman
/a/P6SLE