BoatswainsMate
120811
1638
30
Tldr at bottom.
I was probably around 12 or so when I decided to make an email address I'd use for the rest of my life. I was getting older and I needed a more professional one instead of the silly usernames I had beforehand. I was getting older now, and I'd have to email teachers etc.
So I chose my email address first initial, middle initial, last name @gmail
Perfect, I'm a professional guy now.
Then it got to where it asked my name and I was like ah people don't see that shit. It just said your email address.
firstname: BigDick lastname:Daddy.
"Ha-Ha!" I thought to myself and I didn't think about it again for years.
____
Fast-forward 15 years maybe? I asked if something was available on Craigslist and the guy replies: Sorry, BigDick Daddy but I don't have it anymore.
Oh fuck.
There it was, my email address wasn't immedietly visible, it was just my name. Bigdick Daddy.
I start looking back at 15 years worth of emails. I sent emails to apply for Jobs, military recruitment offices, state police, apartments and housing landlords, everything! God damnit!
Nobody ever fucking said a word to me until this guy told me nonchalantly on craigslist!
How many people ignored my applications or inquiries because of that fucking name!?
In the end, ah well, it's a silly story now.
(Tl:Dr) I changed my name to BigDick daddy because i think people wouldn't see it in my email. People saw it. I found out years later. Oh well.
Chezoso
Just gotta lean into it now... This killed me
LeggoMyEggo69
My uncle had an AOL log in saved on ours- BigBallsBigWang69. Saw it every time I tried to log in. Gross.
AtsaMattaForMe
clearlyselfloving
sorry big dick daddy
TheJokerXX
Your story made it to the front page! Now your humiliation shall live on in infamy! ?
NotTinyPancakes
You gotta change your username to that if it's available
nirbo
“Make this Big Dicked Father an offer.”
ButThisisntAboutMe
This made me LOL! Apparently my name was “Gmail” for over a decade! Never updated name until I was told LAST YR my emails looked like spam!
metalMYA
“Perfect, im a professional guy now.” So… how’s the porn industry career? #noshame
StabbyMcMurder
Mine is Bob on my emails lol. I'm a goirl
ConsumerOfStories
Plot twist: they secretly loved your confidence
resworn
Mine is Basic Thuganomics. I made it when I was 30.
lurksohardmotherfuckerswannafindme
I’m crying. This is amazing.
RowanUnderwood
Am I the only one who didn't have a poop/fart stage as a child? Yes Rowan Underwood butters the Hobbiton on a bit thick, but not horrible.
BlackTrashTiger
GrandPaenus Paternus
BoatswainsMate
woozle
TheJokerXX
Don’t laugh, maybe a girl will read his story and be impressed by the size of his prodigious member ??
IamIntoleranceIntolerant
tellyourcatisaidpspspsps
kamosey
I'd be thinking about the people that didn't ignore your applications.
TheJokerXX
*waggles eyebrows*
throwawayact1992
Haha, classic. Did you get any jobs with that email?
BoatswainsMate
Yeah, moved a few times too. Landlords never said anything.
ummjakefromstatefarm
I did that. Mike hunt. My accountant told me.
magila
I'm glad nobody ever found out I had Mike Hawk as my name.
ummjakefromstatefarm
LOL. I never heard that one
nirbo
Guy on Craigslist was just trying to pick you up.
ActionJohnnie
zvae
oh god i physically cringed reading this whole thing. i'm so sorry this happened to you, Bigdick Daddy.
Rapugaattori
He just has to legally change his name to this and problem is solved.
cheeseguy3412
If you use one of the voice assistants, if you tell them to call you a certain name, it'll use that for email signatures, too. /1
cheeseguy3412
So, if you change your name to, say, "HorseDong McLongSchlong", remember to change it back BEFORE using the connected email to send email /2
Jazzcabage
I now wonder how many times this had an effect in my life. Pretty sure ive never put a real name on any of my 3-4emails plus other accounts
DangerMous
Same. Kind regards, Lezbot Handsomeballs.
levelfivedetentionblockaa23
Maybe people just thought it was a really baller move and respected you for it.
djzapz
Or he'll never know the extent to which this held back his career and relationships. I'd be mortified D:
SteveMND
So, I'm guessing this might be helpful for you then as well: scammers often use that display name to make their emails look 'official' >
SteveMND
< like they were from some actual reputable company, so always make sure to check the ACTUAL email address it is instead.
Lemmingofdarkestnight
Brilliant. You pulled a long con on yourself. Here's the punchline.
pixelhigh
I once wrote code comments in fake Spanish and pranked myself years later when I was pissed off that I couldn’t read them at first.
ontheotherone
How does fake Spanish look like? lol
FartyMcDumpstein
El codo es crappo
ontheotherone
?? awesome!
ThePunchline
Indeed, I am here
ARoseByAnotherUsernameWouldSmellAsSweet
Ladris
grayseed
IExplainJokesThatNeedNoExplanation
OnlyPositiveFavourites
My partner wanted to use his gaming email for buying a house. I was like 'no I'm sorry but GoblinKiller84 just doesn't instill confidence.
OnlyPositiveFavourites
(goblin killer being example of course). We made a first.lastname email for him instead.
TheS4ndm4n
I just had my agent send the offer.
TheOldSchoolisBack
Sooner or later you need an adult email address
OnlyPositiveFavourites
We're in our mid-late 30s lol
neilwatkinsfromaccounting
Not your fault. The internet drastically changed. You never put your real name ANYWHERE 20 years ago.
f00ker
Names have been part of the SMTP RFC since the beginning. If a bit of mailing software asks for a name is not out of curiosity.
onlyhalfghost
man, I felt fucking weird putting my real name in *fucking linkedin*
dmd3eorg
I’ve been using my real name on the internet since posting to Usenet in 1992. Its never been an issue for me. (But I’m a cis white male.)
morelikeconsham
Yeah, I am genuinely pissed whenever an internet service requires a first name and last name. I usually put John Doe because I'm not going
morelikeconsham
to voluntarily dox myself.
Emjayen
This is true - I've been on the internet since BBS days and not once have entered my actual last-name anywhere.
Qualtagh
Yup. My 1st encounter with this surprise "feature" came when my meticulous anonymous/realme separation was broken because I sent an 1/2
Qualtagh
email (from a non-identifiable address) & gmail gave out my name. I hadn't been using the address for much, but I still was pissed. 2/2