The man I thought I was going to marry just told me he loves me, but isn’t IN love any more

Feb 2, 2020 11:08 PM

ILikeGamesh

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98778

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2382

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102

I lost my best friend, the future I thought we had, and can’t see his dog any more...

So instead, this is my parents cat, Katya

My sister and BIL’s cat, Mr. Meowz

Annnnnnd their custom cat portraits that I gave them for Christmas - bought on Etsy FP Edit: Thank you all for your kind words. You gave me some hope in this crappy situation....
Please be kind to others

Hang in there @OP — my SO from 12+ years cheated on me with someone they met for a week at a conf. She used the same reason 1/2

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

2/2 I promise you it gets better and allows you to grow as an individual. Be kind to yourself. Something better will happen.

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Hey @op ... know what the other part of that gif is? you’ll be ok ?

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

He might not be in love with you. But we are!! You always have imgur

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Got this same speech after a child and 7 years of marriage. I'm so sorry. It's not easy, but you will be ok.

6 years ago | Likes 132 Dislikes 0

A person who uses emotions as a gauge for love is misled. Love is a commitment: thru the bad and the good. Feelings are a fickle foundation.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope you find someone even better.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

For what it’s worth. I’m sorry for your loss.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I think the people confuse the feeling of falling in love with consciously choosing to love your partner everyday. 1

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Then they come up with this bullshit reason as to why they dont want to stay together

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's time to employ the only pickup line I can responsibly use: How low are your standards?

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm SO sad that happened! No words. Hang in there. Take care of yourself. I wish I could help you not hurt!

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

And not in a creepy way. I just know what it's like to have something you thought was a sure thing turn out to not be. And it SUCKS.

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Thanks, I think I’m still in shock/denial...

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was dumped by a dude who said the same thing. I was totally crushed, but now I’m in grad school at Harvard and this wouldn’t have happened

6 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

if I was still with him. It’s really, really hard for a while, but eventually you’ll be like I was way too good to not be totally loved!

6 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Could of been a little worse if they just left you without saying anything after your birthday while you eat strawberry yogurt in your pjs

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That is very specific and very crappy, whoever did that is not a good person

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It’s alright. I think it could be worse

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Obligatory not creepy comment.

6 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

they do those now?

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

When my ex and I split she was adamant she kept the dog and I caved because I still had hope I'd be back, I wasn't. Now and then I...

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Look at her IG page to see new pics of my pup, but then I saw she remarried and it hurt, but only because someone else had my dog

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Im looking to get married and have kids , lets meet up

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hurts now. I hear you there. But silver lining, you found out now before having to go through a divorce

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It's better to be alone than in bad company. You deserve to be with someone who loves you completely. I hope things work out for you.

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Going through something similar right now so I know how you feel... it sucks big time. But take the time to focus on you ?

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I know in time I’ll rebuild, but being in this initial everything is open and raw stage, just sucks so much

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I completely understand. My partner of 6 yrs told me that they didn’t know what they wanted for their future anymore... didnt know if they

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

wanted to get married or even have kids. Talk about ripping open your world... if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh wow, that is such a long time to not know what they wanted! I’m so sorry. I hope time will bring peace or at least less heart break...

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I just got told that too on Saturday. I'm here if you need.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This is heartbreaking but best in the long run. A divorce is humiliating and destructive. Your life is fine tooth combed. Hearts will heal.

6 years ago | Likes 421 Dislikes 6

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This is what I keep trying to convince myself of, just hard to be rational right now :/

6 years ago | Likes 107 Dislikes 1

Lemme know if you want me to send you a pizza this week. Seriously. PM me any time.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You don’t have to rational at the moment. You’ve had your world flipped upside down. Let yourself go through the stages of grief.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Rationale will come in time. Grieving and getting out of your headspace will take time. The fact is you can’t make someone love you.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I’m sorry for your pain. Been there.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It’s going to hurt for a while. It’s perfectly ok to feel that way and grieve.

6 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Better to know now than to get married and get stuck in to an pattern of apathy for 12 years.

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Just went through this in November you're gonna be ok buddy

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Don't try and stay friends

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I’m literally in the EXACT same boat as of yesterday. I really hope it starts feeling better soon.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I’m still in shock I think, how are you feeling?

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I feel empty, but also I think it was the right decision. I think I’m mourning the last few years because he was my best friend and I still

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Love him & I want to talk to him so badly it hurts. But I’m just spending a lot of time with my cats and my friend has been staying with me

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Happened to me 2 months ago, we're still trying but we are doing distance and having a difficult time.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

@Op been there. It’s rough but life goes on. You’ll find a new best friend, I promise

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Same thing happened to me a few days ago. She broke the news, and I've been a mess since. I think the part that hurts the most out of all

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

of this, is I'm the only one hurting. Not saying I want her to hurt, but seeing her feel indifferent to the love she had the day before, I -

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

can't even begin to describe it.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

So tired of hearing that excuse. Real love is hard and messy, and there will be many times you don't feel in love anymore. Relying on

6 years ago | Likes 154 Dislikes 13

But I also agree,we all make it hard on ourselves.Just find ur favourite person &decide they’re ur favourite person forever& chill th f out

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I mean, maybe? I’ve been with my husband almost a decade, and while I don’t always like him, I have always felt in love. It sounds like 1/

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2/OP dodged a bullet by having her fiancé tell her this prior to marriage. Yes, marriage takes work, but you both have to be committed

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Love is a choice everyday.Especially on the days you don’t feel love.If he doesn’t choose her even on those days she deserves some1 who will

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I understand this but if he didn't want to work for it then better it happens now than in 5 years and OP get's blindsided with much more

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Exactly. Love takes work to maintain. Some days are easier than others. Love is not a feeling, it is the result.

6 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 2

It doesn’t have to be hard or messy, we just make it that way. I think people imagine love as a thing you feel all the time, thus problems

6 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 2

Love isn’t a feeling, it’s something you do, to use the old cliche. Just like happy people aren’t brimming with joy 24/7, people in love

6 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 1

Aren’t heart-eyed all the time. I love my husband, even if sometimes he annoys me or I annoy him. We talk and we get through it. That’s LIFE

6 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 1

Thank you. I needed to hear this.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

“I love you, even when I don’t like you” - my husband and I legit said this to each other in our wedding vows.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"I Love you, but I don't like you right now" Is something said in my house.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yes but you are married and made a commitment. OP was in a dating relationship so it's understandable to break up if he wasn't feeling it

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

r u okay @thelonelyDM?

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Super okay! Currently in my way to DM my weekly avernus game.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Emotions that come and go with the tides is idiotic Hollywood bullshit. Stop letting fairytales dictate your fucking life. FUCK.

6 years ago | Likes 102 Dislikes 4

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

As much as I agree w/you. At the same time, if this is happening Before you are married, it is probably a good idea not to marry each other.

6 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 0

And it's very possible this guy has felt this way for a long time, and only admitted to it recently. Not everyone makes brash decisions.

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

You should probably fuck his dad.

6 years ago | Likes 218 Dislikes 13

??

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

its the only way to assert dominance over this situation

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Or you could be a little less predictable and fuck his mother? Just spitballing here.

6 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Either way, I’m going to have a wank

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Found OP’s x’s dad.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

"He's Dead" "Well then it should be easy"

6 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

I feel like he would have difficulty getting it up.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

@OP I think this is a great idea.

6 years ago | Likes 80 Dislikes 1

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

?

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 4

ROFL

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

so you're single?

6 years ago | Likes 408 Dislikes 13

My man asking the important questions.

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Duh.. captain obvious.

6 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 154

It's an imgur inside joke to ask if an obviously single woman is single.

6 years ago | Likes 148 Dislikes 3

I know ?

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 50

Karen

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Your joke

6 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

I mean unless you've been cloned I guess you'll always be single... Ok I'll leave now.

6 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

Or to ask an obviously taken person if they are single. It works both ways.

6 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

Yeah I actually see this more often and find it funnier.

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I found it funny the first 489 times

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I thought the Imgur inside joke was to fill their inbox with dick pics?

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

maybe some people. but then you get reported and strikes, and banned eventually

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They key is to joke about all the dick pics but never actually send one

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Be grateful he said something BEFORE you got married. Seriously

6 years ago | Likes 1570 Dislikes 0

This post hasn't gotten a downvote in 318 upvotes and my surprise is immeasurable

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

In other words, he loves being loved but doesn't return it.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 22

Or his feelings changed and he was upfront and honest about something that simply sucks all around.

6 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 1

6 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 2

Yep. Came home to an empty house on Wednesday. Would’ve preferred she be honest before nuptials and our child.

6 years ago | Likes 87 Dislikes 0

Woah

6 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

that's rough. I'm sorry you're going through this.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He was man enough to say he couldn't go through with it, others find out after the vows...

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah, had the same conversation with my ex, four years into the marriage. Not fun.

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Yup, my first fiancee left me 2 months before the wedding day 20 years ago. I met my wife 2 years later and we've been together ever since.

6 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Same. Ten years ago I was told that he was more in love with the idea of me. Screwed me up pretty badly, not gonna lie.

6 years ago | Likes 146 Dislikes 0

It's when you see the image of someone, the version of them that you want, and not for who they really are.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I’ve never understood that phrase, “in love with the idea of...” How are we supposed to read that?! I don’t even know what that means.

6 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

We all fashion ideas of who someone is in our heads. If we don't stay aware that idea can stop matching the actual person.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm that guy. I know what it means. I've come to terms that I should be single if I'm gonna be as selfish as to only want a perfect person

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

And I know no one is perfect but maybe if I'm scared of being cheated on to the point I can't trust than I don't need anyone else

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Or more specifically, I don't need to hurt someone that I may love, even if it's just me being in love with the idea of them in my head

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'd say it's often when someone generally likes all of the other person's major attributes but not the complexity of real people.

6 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

Yes, they prefer someone who acts exactly as they imagined instead of the normal ways people do.

6 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

Pretty much this. He’d built up this imaginary me in his head and when I wasn’t that (because I’m a whole & complex person) he bailed.

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0