four51
1041437
13038
657
Can I get some ice water for this burn from 10-year-old?
FP edit: Hey thanks so much.
Make sure you check out this girl's website saffronherndon.com
People ask for newts when they reach front page right? Send newts!
TheSimpleDude
I read some of these as mitch hedberg
ChloePrice
The dating joke is great.
azazyel
Man, that's a lot of self confidence. No way you'd get me near a stage at 10.
funnyasianshirts
not enough dick jokes
Disasstah
Give her a few years.
comebacklaterimthinkingofsomethingfunnytosay
Hey... I have that Nirvana shirt.
TheWebbliest
Sadly, so do a bunch of ironic hipsters. They ruin so many things.
YoSoyMilk
Online dating joke is fuckin brilliant
moldboy
I literally laughed out loud at that
choicebutts2
I spit out my coffee at the online dating joke.
howdypal
Suddenly really disappointed in my own daughter
ithrashanus
Waiting on Dane Cook to steal her jokes
JGold523
She should lead with #4 so her opening line is "I hate kids." That'd get a big laugh and break the tension about a kid being on stage.
fokjoudoos
She should mention that she's around Aisha's age when the 50 year-old 'prophet' Mohammed consummated their 'marriage' for the real laughs..
IveGotNowhereElseToGo
My brain invented a 10 year old girls voice to read these in.
Modernityhasfailedus
This is fucking gold.
iowabi
That's some good stuff. Need to go watch sauce to see delivery...
insearchoftheperfectusername
https://youtu.be/G9iBs2w3f44
dagingee
Yeah, some sauce would be nice
insearchoftheperfectusername
She's 10. Delivery isn't the greatest. But she'll get better.
StoicJ
a 10 year old is more successful than me at something you aren't born with. Fuck, now i have no excuses left.
Armored0Titan0
She has Steve Buscemi eyes.
THISISMENOW
and a butt chin
DanAykroydFanClub
Can we just shorten that phrase to 'Buscemeyes'?
thisismypost
but how can mirrors be real, if Buscemi eyes cant melt DEEZ NUTZ 2016!!!
thisismypost
the best kind there is
Killer7481
well she's a comedian, not a model.
Badstrawberry
She's 10. Maybe she'll grow into them!
IFuckingLoveGoldenRetrievers
Or learn make up.
NotSoSmartAlek
temujin9
littlewhitedove
Was about to say it worked out for Jolie. +1
Yodamanjaro
Sweet Jesus.
CurrentLevelOfAdulting
*scrolls back up to look*
Armored0Titan0
Am I wrong?
SlickerThanNick
Her hair is Harlowe gold / Her lips sweet surprise / Her hands are never cold / She's got Steve Buscemi eyes!
Moonkey
I want a video remake of this.
smartgirl63
I was thinking the same thing! Excellent!
2DBeck
Haha I sang it in Dean Rays voice, also Steve Buscemi has crazy eyes.
quicktochuckle
I really loled, but she's ten so no I feel ashamed.
quicktochuckle
*now
Cisforstupidthatsgoodenoughforme
I like you.
SlickerThanNick
Carnivoracious
d4rkr34p3r500
Ahh come on she's pretty good I got a chuckle
trippinoctopus
I really doubt she wrote most of her material
Statboy78
That's ok. Many comics don't. There's lots of borrowing--it isn't painting.
MadHakon
I don't care. It's still funny.
PrincessCheesyWieners
I feel like she probably said a few shocking but funny things, and the parents said "Hey, maybe we can exploit this for money."
glitterapplesauce
I doubt she wrote any of it
Atribbs
Some kids are more aware of the world around them. I was pretty dark at a young age.
postmodest
As a Gen-X'er... am I the only one who feels the same way about the Foo Fighters?
ukalliq
Nirvana was good but it ran its course.
q2grapple
This was the one joke that really made me laugh
DaneErnst
I find it hard to believe this girl totally understands everything she is saying
akabaloo
She speaks English, so she probably understands most of it
Lamesor
She's 10, not 4. I knew all about child molesters by her age.
elorangeman
Well first hand experience tends to give people an insight to that sort of stuff.
Lamesor
Are you implying i have experience? No luckily I don't. My parents just actually talked to me about stuff.
ThisAccountIsOnlyActiveSoPeopleCanUseMyTrumpGif
Kids don't know anything until they're 18. And even then...
ThisAccountIsOnlyActiveSoPeopleCanUseMyTrumpGif
/s
bentwrenches
By then they know EVERYTHING! Just ask my son.
Upsh1ft
Upvoting you because the other's don't understand sarcasm
wiseoldsnail
do you have kids?
rbudrick
By 10 I'd read 100s of books, mostly textbooks on Greek and Roman myths, Arthurian legends, chess, astronomy and more-Not all kids are dumb.
kannp
I don't think DaneErnst meant she's too unintelligent to understand it, but that it seems likely she'd be too innocent to understand it.
eltiare
If that's the case, then she definitely shouldn't be having religious people try to convert her. :P
Dory47
Idk, I was reading college level at 11 in 6th grade(not bragging)I just don't think it's too far fetched for her to be a smart cookie.
DidYouKnowChrisPrattAdLibbedThat
On the case of bragging, yes you are, actually.
Dory47
I was just trying to prove a point. But ok.
helpnonamesareleft
I was too, but this just sounds weird coming from a ten year old.
hoeya
My favorite books in 2nd grade were Foundation by Isaac Asimov and Goosebumps. Kids aren't as oblivious to the world as we think.
TomVeilTomVeil
Daaang. That is some dark material, regardless of age.
Mystakaphoros
Yeah, somewhere Jim Gaffigan is rocking back and forth crying and wishing he could be this edgy.
norill
*dank
strawberrycocoa
Those are really good bits! Does she also write her own jokes? I'm curious how a ten year old is making Cobain references.
HeyCupcake
My son is 10 and listens to Marilyn Manson and I've never introduced him to any of the music he listens to. Gen Z kids are evolved.
pixarpizza
Her website says she enjoys writing some of them.
steveherndon
She is a Nirvana fan due to her uncle and me. The Nirvana joke is word for word from a conversation. She was trying to get my goat.
strawberrycocoa
Ha, that's awesome! Thank you for sharing that. Hopefully I can see her perform someday.
sonofabattlecry
You and your daughter should do an ama!
steveherndon
That would be fun.
jnglmsv
seconded!
cossettetape
So many cynics who cant admit a ten year old can be witty...sure they can play Sonatas better than me but funnier than me? No way man.
ChristopherSmithingstein
A 10 year old can sing the blues too, but it's doubtful they really understand them.
TheWebbliest
Yeah, but not every 10 year old is simple.
cossettetape
Honestly people underestimate the complex mind of a child, she gets the jokes...she wrote them.
NotSoSmartAlek
Some of them at least.
ChristopherSmithingstein
I'm not underestimating the complex mind of this child, I'm questioning the validity of her humor. 2 very different things.
somethingmeaningfultosomeoneatsomepointintime
Ok, the online dating was alright.
MEL357
Yeah, I laughed at that one the most.
TheThirstyMoose
I almost did a spit take when I read that one
Whenceitcame
Why don't you take a seat.
thebutthurtisstrongwiththisone
You could say that shit was tight!
snazzygabe12
Ehhhh
FreakOnDrugs
Why don't you have a seat over there
OneMoreLagerAndIMightLearnToLikeYa
Put your hands behind your back.
ShentoSama
I mean that one only works if she is into bdsm.
CristhianIR
Everything you say can and will be used against you..
jumpercat
Emma Watson..
TopHatChicken
*beats you over the head with Emma Watson*
jeffreyjellifish
Only a girl like that could pull off that joke & not get socially ridiculed
manslut
I am in a room full of people studying and it made me lol. Awkward.
PleaseDontRespondToMySarcasticCommentsWithASeriousReply
"She tells me she's an undercover cop...HOW COOL IS THAT FOR SOMEONE HER AGE?!"
TohruRokuno
She called me a pedophile - which is a big word for someone her age.
KittenVonCatsworth
Yeah, that one got a laugh out of me.
GitToDaChoppa
Why dont you have a seat right here?
thefurredreich
Not for those guys who ended up in jail, it wasn't
Howdoilife
McBook
Something something Jared
EverythingISeeIsAJojosReference
Something something Chris Hansen.
uitSCHOT
that one cracked me up
RandomAbscessMemories
That was a good one. Some of these were a bit meh, but some were good.
throwawayforanonymity
She's 10 you idiot
RandomAbscessMemories
Yeah, and? Her being ten means having a few meh jokes is still impressive, and the real gems all the more spectacular.
NotEvenSupposedToBeHere
Well there's not many life experiences to draw off of when YOU'RE TEN
darkoshen
Fortunately, she knows a fairy tale when she hears one, so there's that.
bendoverandbraceyourself
"Why don't have a seat?"
McBook
Depends on whether it's stand-up comedy
capnsebastian
I actually lol'd with that one
tacoparlor
99% chance she didn't write any of it, but I'm not opposed to comedic delivery from a young person. It's funny.
Lalael
Yeah, if she's got the timing down, she'll be golden once she's old enough to come up with her own stuff!
nextstopwilloughby
I've heard the Flintstones one before, but I still enjoyed these.
farwall
Yup, no way she wrote it, I was thinking the same thing.
Weissicles
Though on that off, one percent chance it is, good for her.
SophCon
She said she writes all her stuff, and she has no reason to lie. She's 10, not a toddler. Kids are smarter/funnier than we give them credit.
BrazilianThunderPanda
I don't care. Louis CK wrote a lot of Chris Rock's standup, and I like both of them.
realwavyhat
I could've swore I heard the Flintstones joke before too, but that's just me playing devil's advocate.
petrarkanian
It sounds familiar to me too.
BootsNCatsNBootsNCatsN
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz00MWYFwmunTFzy5OIz9JA Maybe??
SardonicGrin
I'd reckon most adult comedians don't write ALL of their own stuff these days any more than singers do.
YouThinkThatsBad
Most stand up comedians don't write jokes. They write talking points and know how to use their sense of humor in a quick and appealing way.
helenfrankannekeller
She most likely came up with the jokes and someone matured the language for her
Realitea
according to what she said in one of her shows, she actually did.
ImTheJiggernautButch
wouldn't get much attention if she said otherwise
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[deleted]
Imgonnatipyouwell
"EESSSSJAAAYYYDOUBLEUUUUUU!!" This phrase has lost all meaning to me lately.
Nomulus
Cynical SJW? What SJW would make a black Jesus joke?
Zombieshark
Yes, all kids are the same, everywhere. No way this kid could be different from your kids. Also, what part of this says SJW to you?
IveBeenSlackingMyWholeLife
I hate to break it to you, buddy, but I think you might be a bit busy grinding that axe...
violetpolkadots
No, YOUR kids don't talk like this. I taught in NYC, urban kids especially can be really culturally aware and street smart.
Monkeyfighter
Sounds like someone has a chip on their shoulder...
tacoparlor
I didn't say definitely...but she would seriously have to be in the top 1% of children regarding intelligence, social awareness, etc...
MeganMeow
My friend's 10 year old is pretty funny, I reckon its not-unlikely
allahuakbar95
This little black kid funny AF https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgdgttUWU-A
darkoneko
yeah I mean, 10 years old knowing about Kurt Cobain and the Foo Fighters ?
fatlittletoad
My six year old is a fan of the Beatles and Joan Jett, so..
JustmeSoraka
Ehh, I'd be willing to say it's possible as long as she isn't being restricted from watching things like comedy central. When I was 10 1/2
JustmeSoraka
I used to love watching the Cheech and Chong movies, and all the comedy specials they'd show. 2/2
LoveSheogorath
Nope. Kids can be--and often are--so much more intelligent, funny, and clever than adults are willing to believe.
kidinthesixties
Totally! I babysat an 11 and 13 y/o a few months ago. They had an in depth discussion about their varying levels of atheism over dinner.
Pawnderlust
This is so true. My 4 year old daughter has a larger vocabulary than some adults I know. It helps not dumbing things down for her.
xXMidNiteXx
Kids are intelligent and can be funny, but thesen jokes are too well scribted. She might not even understand all of her jokes. Still funny^^
LoveSheogorath
Naw, she was probably raised with these interests. My little bro was the same way. Huge range of comedy from so many exposures to ideas.
TheCartright
Yeah I agree. Seems too well refined to be written by her
berrrypickerasfuck
Dave Chapelle was doing stand up at 13. It's not unlikely it's her material.
RenoXIII
If all they watch is adult comedy, it's not too far fetched for a kid to hone their skills in one specific subject. That being, dark comedy.
TheCartright
Good point
youreawesome
you never know , 10-year-olds can surprise you. That and I'm more than willing to exercise "suspension of belief" for something uplifting
whathaveibecome
I feel like you guys underestimate children. My step brother used to constantly surprise me when he was younger.
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BhawbTheMagnificent
The thing is, so is everyone. We're all actually pretty stupid, and kids aren't THAT far off from the rest of us.
seashamoorun
Hell yeah. At least kids know they are stupid. So many stupid adults who believe all sorts of shit.
howdypal
Suddenly I'm really disappointed in my own daughter for not amounting to anything more...she'll never be this funny when she's 10
allahuakbar95
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgdgttUWU-A this little black kid funny AF
Yamasama
You aint whooping me cuz you love me, you whooping me cuz you mad!
Deathfrombelow
I blame her parents.
mitharas
You just have to write those lines for her. I doubt this girl wrote all of that herself.
obscenereference
^was looking for this comment, I'm now reassured that I wasn't a dumbass ten year old
LuckyICantSeeFarWithThisLeg
The difference between this girl and your daughter is that her dad is writing all her material.
Draygen
Mine is almost 11 and she's wasting her time doing reading and math at a high school level rather than being funny. That jerk.
AwesomeGuy847
Some people in the comments seem to think a 10 year old is as stupid and mindless as a toddler. I don't doubt she understands all her jokes
wiseoldsnail
some people in these comments intentionally keep their kids ignorant of the world
HeyCupcake
Thank you! My son is the same age and I am amazed everyday by how clever and open minded he is. They are the generation Z.
TheWebbliest
Yep, some people don't understand things like wit, natural talent, and the powerful learning tool called the Internet. Poor things.
z0mbycide
Sauce (for some of these): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9iBs2w3f44
superandrd
Holy shit, the dude introducing her looks just like Chad Ginsburg
TrippingPocahontas
The last joke was the best
z0mbycide
Side note: holy crap that closer hit hard
NotSoSmartAlek
For those who can't hear, what was it?
z0mbycide
Basically "After lesbians get married, do they go on their honeymoon, or do they go straight to the SPCA to pick out their new family?"
NotSoSmartAlek
Love it!
HarryHumberstone
*source
z0mbycide
Oh hi, you must be new here
jnglmsv
Welcome to the internet! Please report to classroom /b/ for orientation.
jnglmsv
"This video is private."
z0mbycide
sorry you're late to the party...lol. It wasn't private 366 days ago :P
obizues
Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like she is having some write for her.
JimiSlideAway
Nearly every comedian has people writing for them
obizues
Not at the level of open mics. No they do not.
ThisIsGod
Maybe the parents help her refine them and are just really encouraging. My sister was a snarky little fuck at this age.
obizues
In all my years I've never seen a kid this young come up with material like this.
TragedyAtSummerhall
*Just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean it can't happen elsewhere. Can't be fucked to go on desktop to delete the other comment.
obizues
I haven't seen it in 7 seven years of experience. You're right- she could be. She also could be just be using someone else's jokes.
allahuakbar95
Oh man this little black kid delivers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgdgttUWU-A
ReiAyanamiIsMyWaifu
I guess if you point out the fact that hes black its offensive. +1 For my ninja JJ
ThisIsGod
Stranger things have happened.
GavinScreaming
Eh, I've known a few kids who were clever as hell. But I would think someone has helped her refine them a bit.
SuHardy
Amanda Bynes was super talented as a kid comedian.
TragedyAtSummerhall
Your lack experience doesn't mean it doesn't happen somewhere else, though.
allahuakbar95
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgdgttUWU-A Funny AF
four51
Aaannddd... I spelled comedian wrong.... -_-
TheOnlyBunkermaster
And for that sin, you will burn.
JohnBoy922
OP, with you being a front page celebrity and what not, could you ask IMGUR why I can't see the entire gallery?? The only pic I see: brownie
Tockity
I'm glad I don't have to scroll all the way up to verify anymore.
louisestrange
But you owned it, OP!
CheesusChrisp
HA!
MehWasTooShort
It makes my angry that you spelled it correct in this sentence.
BrewedDude
And you have an interesting way of spelling 'and'
dembonz00
Comedienne.
Coolex
noob xD
allahuakbar95
This little black kid is hilarious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgdgttUWU-A
Aslandus
Is she a communist comedian?
PMmeYourBreastsIMaCreeper
There is no "u" or "-ist" or "-ism" in this typo. I thought there was, but then I read the typo right.
DarkGetzeye
Only up voted because of typo.
AtheistBabyJesus
Oh comm comm now, It wasn't that bad. CommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommCommmm
gtothegdot
Ahh no worries OP. +1 for not relying on Spell check
FuckYoReposts
Shh it ok
Cassiraa
And forgot the source
HarleysPuddin
That's okay the offering is deemed worthy
sweatytelemarketer
And I read it as communism.
jeffreybaratheon
It's technically comedienne anyway.
superskin
Some female comics just prefer comedian though, like some actresses just want to be called actors. Idk.
DetectiveMICHAELscarnFBI
Unless it's a feminist.... Then that's a joke all on its own
babiestastebest
Dude, you're PC? Me, too! Let's be PC together.
ranhalt
Like some women just want to be called men.
AllegedlyUncleTonton
Yes, dolt, it's spelt Cornelidan
JuanTea
You mean Corneclicin
AllegedlyUncleTonton
Comblurdican
JuanTea
Chameleon
Satinsball
Cunninglinguist
AllegedlyUncleTonton
Curmudgeon
thefurredreich
Cantankerous
ImperatorAugustus
Cumberbatch.
thefurredreich
Cumberland Farms