BadWolf78
637876
17575
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I brought donuts for the office!
I work from home. I am the office. And my fat ass will eat every last goddam one of these little beauties.
Edit: I can't believe fucking donuts got me most viral but you heathens ignored my previous pibble posts.
Pibble tax:
http://imgur.com/WLoh9Rn
http://imgur.com/eqzhblG
http://imgur.com/2zW5vec
Please send pibbles. Or..."Richard shots" are always gladly accepted. :-)
Pushpushki
I hope you are doing well with your 600 lbs.
eion85
The Krispy Kreme across the parking lot from us brings us free hot donuts once every couple of months. Great marketing.
TWD1992
I donut think that's a good idea OP!
Bergreenc
Degeneracy
RelatedSimpsonsPicOrGif
mikeatike
+1 for description
Sledgewolf1
Oink
byleaveswelive
Congrats on the heart disease
Yakamuli444
Better pace yourself or you could end up the size of the office:)
FrankTheCube
Looks like you ate one before thanking the picture.
BadWolf78
Yep, and one of the not pictured kolaches on the drive home. :-)
bannyd
TIL OP's a serial killer -- good on ya, Dexter.... you're a creepy motherfuck, you know that, Morgan?
Moretolife
Addiction is a sad and very real disease for the human race.
30Jonseredi
I have no idea what people see in overeating sugar based goodies. After a certain point it only makes you a bit ill and hate yourself
HowDoIGetToTheGoogles
What in tarnation is a "pibble"?
JustinHudson
Stupid dog name. I vomit a little every time someone writes it.
Dookietown
This is why we can't have nationalized healthcare
justyourfriendlyneighborhoodimgurian
@op, should have thrown down on these powerful donuts!
NdotGreeze
"I am the office"
JohnMica
The office will decide your fate.
JoeFalko
buttoncamus
I just had a late lunch but my donut stomach is totally empty. Coming ypr way now!!
MurtBaclinBFI
Wtf show some restraint you fat ass
UrsusDerpus
Do you need an intern? I'm skilled at putting away donuts and motivated to do so.
BadWolf78
I do! But donuts are for employees only. Interns get to lick the glaze from my fingers....Or anywhere else it may have landed
UrsusDerpus
You got it, boss.
Rotflol
never eat more than 6 krispy kremes in one sitting bro. Trust me, from one large dude that can seriously pack it away to presumably another.
MichaelBay
What would happen to my amateur stomach?
MichaelBay
What would happen to my amateur stomach?
totallysherlocked
It'll go straight to your thighs......and then you'll blow up
Newbiticus
Good luck with the diarrhea!
Str8Grizleh
That's literally 4 days worth of calories right there.
2TbspOfDogAssOil
Or 13487 feet/mile in freedom units
BlueKarat
More like one....
yellowtimer
Not with this guys attitude.
dandelionwino
5 days at my height.
petkosamoletko
for the average american maybe 2
mellowdrama
And zero days worth of nutrition.
ImNotReallyADoctor
your definition of "nutrition" is vastly underappreciated. Sugar is necessary for cell protein synthesis. And carbs are the body's main fuel
ImNotReallyADoctor
Oh, and fat is required for Myelin production to solidify our neural pathways and to protect and enhance nerves.
Flyndaran
We have two essential fatty acids, and can make all other necessary fats.
mellowdrama
You're stretching more than yo mama's yoga pants on this one. But +1 for effort.
Flyndaran
Your body can make it's own. Carbohydrates are not needed for life. They're in damn near everything, so it's not an issue anyway.
ImNotReallyADoctor
Nope, but donuts have plenty, and this is how the body uses it
k1dicarus1
Donuts have the "worst" kind of carbs, fast ones. They become sugar in an instant in your body. Its cool if you burn 5000kcal/day. every day
cricketlegs
Donut be a fun killer!
sadduckfan
So she need more?
allinvain
It's ok, American's have superhuman metabolisms! Not! :)
Navychief929
One nights worth***
Mailvirgo
You sir, can leave!
SpringToMyWinter
Only 4? Show your math.
sneaker2
I went to their website and the pictured donuts equal 5800 kcal. Average adult needs 2000 kcal/day so only 2.9 days.
ZachPutland
Pretty sure the 2000 per day number is not as accurate as people think
EverythingWithFries
Not as accurate because your diet needs to vary with your total daily energy expenditure; Basal metabolic rate + physical expenditure.
flikrdoodles
Average is 2640 for men and 1785 for women in the US, according to 2 seconds on Google.
bubbasparxx
Is that average consumed or average required? If consumed then the US would be higher anyway
melveys
Yeah, I am only supposed to have 1500 per day according to my dietician.
JackscompletelackofJack
He works from home and he is a self-proclaimed fatso, so assuming he is pretty much sedentary, he probably wouldn't even need 2000/day.
BadWolf78
I'm actually really not overweight. I'm 5'11" and weigh 165. I was just shit talking for the post.
BhawbTheMagnificent
The problem is that weight, age, and gender cause pretty significant variance from the average for the individual.
edmundo47
In any case, that is A LOT of calories, the worst part is it's mostly sugar.
edmundo47
In any case, that is A LOT of calories, the worst part is it's mostly sugar.
sneaker2
Depends on the donut. E.g. the "Original Glazed" have about 10g sugar, calories are mostly from fat.
SpringToMyWinter
Thanks!!
TheSinsOfTheUnworthyMustBeBaptizedInBloodAndFear
But the thing is you need all kinds of micronutrients and will therefore end up eating more food anyways
meshcount
I calculated 5730, but close enough, the filled ones vary by 50 depending on filling. I love how the internet enables me to be pedantic.
nycterelis
My fucking life.
SaikyoStyle
Mmh..shallow and pedantic.
Flyndaran
When I had a hyperthyroid, I needed 5000 Calories a day. And only very petite sedentary people need only 2k Cal per day.
melveys
I need 1500 with moderate daily exercise.
Flyndaran
I ate far more than that when I was underweight. Yikes. Petite, I assume. I'm 5'11" and male.
Flyndaran
I ate far more than that when I was underweight. Yikes. Petite, I assume. I'm 5'11" and male.
pyjamamama
Same. I eat 1500-1700kcal a day, if I go above that I instantly gain weight..:-/
yourbassist
190 in a glazed. Closer to 2 days worth for me.
TheLingoBingo
I count all my calories and while I've never had dunkin donuts, I can't imagine a glazed donut being only 190?
yourbassist
Well, I googled it. I didn't pull it out of my ass.
meeulk
Being from NC, can confirm Krispy Kreme are delicious, esp. When HOT doughnuts NOW.
SwiggityDiggitySwoo
OMG - they literally melt in your mouth
[deleted]
[deleted]
SwiggityDiggitySwoo
And sometimes you get a hat too - bonus!
OVOTroy
Krispy Kreme is unbeatable. (Also from NC) I gave up sugar for the most part. But once in a blue moon.. driving by.. that hot light on.. YUM
AllTheCoolKidsPeeTheirPants
It's good but definitely not unbeatable...
son0fhobs
It's like eating fried sugar on air. The bread is merely a facade to hold up the sugar.
aaikr
Bless your heart you fat fuck
duojet
Techtronic
If I remember correctly, she aspires to be bigger and her boyfriend helps her
ALargeAgglomerationOfAtomsSuperficiallyResemblingAUser
At this point his heart needs an exorcist, not a priest
NotThrillingButNice
But don't you need 2 priests for that?
Smayds
Specifically an old priest and a young priest.
tonysdg
*exercist
nicoleeoleeoleeoh
Texas?
BadWolf78
Yep, Austin
ijustliketoread
Where in Austin? I can help out with any leftovers :D
BadWolf78
Ha! NW by Lakeline Mall, but there's only 2 left. And they're kinda stale and crusty by now.
ijustliketoread
You're like 20 minutes away, meet me at Main Event in an hour for the dropoff
telpelin
Its gonna need all the help I can get
Flyndaran
When I had a hyperthyroid I ate 5k Calories a day and wasn't huge.
megagreg
When I was training for an Ironman, I was eating around that much while losing weight. It's the greatest feeling ever. I miss it sometimes.
aaikr
Did you ate 2 dozen donuts in one sitting or like 2 2500 burritos ?
Flyndaran
Entire large pizzas, pounds of rice and chicken, etc. It was 5k AVERAGE. Some days I put away far more.
aaikr
Wow impressive
trina1978
How long will it take to eat this many donuts? It's good to have a point of comparison.
JohnMica
5 minutes if you really try.
BadWolf78
Probably til tomorrow, I've blown my load on round 1. Will nibble til they're stale and have to be choked down. But I will persevere!
AllAroundSad
OP...
v
rmiGod
Tomorrow? Rookie! This Christmas I ate mostly chocolate all vacation. After that, for the next few days, everything I ate had a sweet taste.
trina1978
Heaven! Box on the right I could do straight off. Box on the left in addition to box on the right or on its own could cause discomfort.
BadWolf78
It's possible the husband is helping. But he prefers Round Rock donuts so he bitches every time he eats one. But then he eats it anyway.
Yakamuli444
Power rings ..errr... DONUTS!! Is there anything they can't accomplish?
SpruceOnImgur
In Soviet Russia, you do not eat donut, donut eat YOU!
Vaanhalen
RetiredInfant
They knew what they were doing
Smayds
13thDiablo
*Power Coins. Someone hasn't seen the new Power Rangers movie.
Yakamuli444
Side Show Mel voice: Ahem.. (clearing throat) Power Rings my good man are a tribute to the great and magnificent Homer Simpson!
FoxKeegan
HTF did it jump out of his hand!?
RelativelyRelevantRelative
They can't fix my marriage.
GriffinPock
Your Marriage doesn't deserve donuts
Juicyduce2016
If you eat enough they can
TheDoctormoriarty
I'm not saying I like krispy kreme but I would kill for one of those
tellthattokanjik1ub
Tell that to kanjiklub.
JadeEye
When I visited the states, I made a point out of going to get a full box of those. I have flashbacks to this day as a glorious one.
pie4sale
I'm Canadian so my first Krispy Kreme was when I was 22 years old (3 years ago). I had not lived until that moment
SoupAHoTFier
Did you write the new power rangers movie?
WARHAMMER405
Give me Hinkley's or Sweetwater donuts any day.
schaltrickster
Pro tip: put one in the microwave for 7 seconds. Almost like fresh
tokenhooker
We have drive thru Krispy Kreme here in Ohio. Still warm. And I still don't like them, sorry
midnightmorph
I was told not to trust people like you
swisskisser
I live in Ohio. They don't do them right here. Waaaay too much glaze or something. I used to travel to NC for work, and oh my Lord . . .
Krombeaupolis
You're entitled to your wrong opinion.
Feanor19
Same in most if not all states. Not a fan either mostly because I don't tend to like sweets but fuck yeah to those that do
Feanor19
But I love me some Taco Bell. Straight sober even. I legit enjoy it. Like enthusiastically so
Vaanhalen
3 secs
mtgjbone
I need to go to Glam Doll's in Minneapolis to get a mac and cheese donut.
Gayforbae
I would kali-ma a bitch for one of those maple ones.
ADisturbedOne
I haven't had Krispy Kreme in years.... and my mouth is watering on how delicious they were.
Shadowstrikerx10
I've never eaten Krispy Kreme donuts.
BadWolf78
You poor, poor soul.
eetsumkaus
eh, the mom and pop donut shops are the best for getting giant donuts though. But Krispy Kreme is the king of glazed
Shadowstrikerx10
There are 2 local donut shops and a shipleys where I am. Shipleys is the best of them all here.
TinySupreme
They're average donuts but the fresh ones people keep talking about are good.
OzmaAsimov
You're not missing anything. They're basically air. Sugary air.
KahSeven
A fresh, warm one is truly the best thing ever
BadWolf78
No killing necessary, I'm stuffed - Come get some.
Geotechnicallychallenged
Still have some left. I was under the impression you nomed them all!
JordanJet
Really wish KK wasn't far from me. I can no longer get any since the local high school stopped doing food related fund raisers! Damn them!
Laticris
I've eaten 300 grams worth of chips and an ice cream cone during last 5 hours and I still feel like eating at least three of these. ????
BadWolf78
Make it 6. Don't be a pussy.
Laticris
Well you are not wrong.
ChillaAquila
My kinda man who can eat 2 boxes of KK donuts! <3
IAmNotASkeleton
"And my ass will eat every last goddamn one of these beauties." You're a lying liar who lies.
BadWolf78
It's true. I ate like 4 and they're still sitting on the counter downstairs. I felt full and gross just from that many.
IAmNotASkeleton
OP is a phony! A big fat phony!
BadWolf78
It's true!
TemetNosce000
I'm literally going out to get some now
tellthattokanjik1ub
Tell that to kanjiklub.
Caysee
Is your office hiring? I too like donuts.
comette
my office "perk" is donuts every friday, except...you can have mine, i dont eat them
LordCowBell
I can't believe you like donuts too. We should hang out
Caysee
I think we just became best friends. I'll be at my usual place, see you there.
Mexodis
Yeah, but the boss makes all the employees give him handjobs throughout the day.
Caysee
That's fine. @dankspaghettishaft and I are best friends now. We'll take an early lunch to hang out during that time.
dropeleven
i think i'd like the coworkers quite a bit
mrzzmm
JuisSloshJuis
Own it!
DeathBeUponYou
Dounut like me too, nom nom nom, donut dead now.
Vaanhalen
caternaut
Why does that donut look old and decrepit
BadWolf78
Yes! But the dress code is a bit unconventional. As in....No clothes are allowed.
CorgiCircus
gothraki
You're married and asking for dick pics? Might want to add a disclaimer that you're either divorced or it's an open marriage
TheShusher
rugmiem
I'm in
BadWolf78
Yes, yes you are. Orientation begins at 1500 hours.
SaucyDisses
@OP every morning:
BadWolf78
Pretty much!
HitlersClonedButthole
And what's the pay/work hours?
BadWolf78
Hours are long and pay is in donuts.
HitlersClonedButthole
And is petting dogs allowed?
BadWolf78
It's mandatory.
DumbBr0ad
Then doesn't your dick get on your laptop?
BadWolf78
Sometimes, yes.
degenerator
And new hires have to buy the donuts.
SilverKytten
As a nudist, this is my dream.
TheHorizon
Sounds like my kind of place.
BaronetDecados
InsensitiveComments
Porn?
BadWolf78
Hell yeah
BaronetDecados
Ok!
NuggetsForKitty
My at home job has the same dress code
ThereAreChameleonsEverywhereProbably
Oooh so it's one of thoose interviews.
EmmyHearts
Kay but are you actually hiring?
BadWolf78
I actually am, yes.
EmmyHearts
I'm a bit of a basic in the ASP.NET, HTML 5, JavaScript, jQuery and SQL server knowledge, but I can design and technically write!
fblonk
What do you do (if i may be so bold...)
BadWolf78
I'm a senior software engineer for a global SaaS company. 90% of our workforce works remotely. I manage a small team of 7 engineers 1/2
BadWolf78
2/2 Who are located across 4 states and 2 in London. I currently need another team member in Austin, TX.
QQforU
You if you play your cards right
connorcat
What sort of skills do potential employees need?
nosadpandas
YES! *Uncomfortably* How do I sign up?
Billy2sweet
Nancy from HR hates you.
BadWolf78
Yeah but Nancy from HR wants to get up on my jock, so she lets shit slide.
DGeldy
Ty for this gold lol
Caysee
All I hear is "you'll have more pizza and video game money"
SuperSunSolaire
Y
[deleted]
[deleted]
Caysee
Sorry to disappoint you, that isn't me, not even the correct gender.
spantos
Come work for my office, there's no doughnuts at the moment but we're still fat.
justyourfriendlyneighborhoodimgurian
RIP @OP's hopes and dreams. At least you have donuts.
BadWolf78
Well dang. You were about to be hired on the spot.
dngrslycheesy
Officially putting in my application. If I'm correct, this is looking like a company of two nude female employees with lots of donuts.