MissVoorhees
108882
1581
97
Oct 9, 2021 1:21 PM
MissVoorhees
108882
1581
97
Bridgiebird
As a newish mom myself, I laughed really hard at a lot of these
sleepmask
The pregnancy ones ? I am 10 weeks pregnant with twins and already out of breath walking from bed to bathroom.
Bluekitten03
#12 that was my sister and me!
insatiableanappetite
For anyone deciding if they want kids or not, I’m about to turn 40 and I am extremely happy that I chose not to. It’s not for everyone.
lilbrother
https://i.imgur.com/kjq0RaB
Corganic
This bloodline is dying with me, and this dump reaffirms that.
Piepersonsmom
TheRealPumpkinQueen
Laugh crying
giganticroboticpenguin
#33 Explosives/Childcare 100. They share a lot of skills.
ConstantReader
StripTheFleshSaltTheWound
I am absolutely enjoying my second baby. It's 100% because I have antidepressants this time
LiillooDallasMultipass
thedoorman42
Dump also known as the reason I have no children. That and my husband doesn't have a uterus so we can't accidently make one.
Yogsothott
Ayy, my partner has a uterus but so do I. No chance of an accident here either.
DarkBusterBaron
Obviously someone has never heard of toddler fight club.
LazerUnicorn
Shhh
ctbone6
HardcodedNumber
This is gone be me soon. She has three kids
JustAFlamingoInDisguise
I am kid free. And I am the one who gives obnoxiously loud toys to my niece and nephew to take home :D
xdeepsearch
#23 oh I still judge parents now that I have kids cause some parents really suck.
Totallyscrewedinaustin
#3 I have a funny story about that! Did just what it implies, got halfway done and thought, I'll finish it next shower. Went into labor-
Totallyscrewedinaustin
A few days later. All half shaved is embarrassing, right? We not only was it some random doctor in L+D, he brought 20 interns to observe!!
Iinajoki360
I don't even know how that is anatomically possible, so kudos for trying
nosaucesbutapplesauces
I took a looong shower when I realized I was in labor. Figured it would be a while til the next one (and it was!).
natachan
All the midwives on the ward came to see the final push when my son was born... Weirdos
AninOnin
So... a few days later you still hadn't showered...?
AninOnin
I've never been pregnant so I can't judge. I imagine it's difficult with that extra large bump in the way
Areawoman84
I currently shower twice a week while pregnant. Too tired to do much more.
nilaismad
Wait...you have to shave for labor? Why?
BooRadleyLives
To feel pretty.
GoddammitMrNoodle
You definitely don't. It's only for people who think their vagina is going to make a good first impression.
Totallyscrewedinaustin
You don't just hadn't done it for while and wanted to look trim lol
Hubbles
You don't have to. Unless you have a C-section, at least in Denmark.
GreySeasAbound
You don't have to, at least where I am. However a generation or 2 ago they shaved women 'for hygiene' (it was misguided).
Cucumberclouds
It was also not hygienic
doggo27
Really it’s just a final clean up before you won’t want to touch down there for several weeks
JaelitheKitty
That and if they need to do an emergency c-section they want the area ready as possible
VaarallinenJuhannus
Emergency c-section is a vertical cut but if they do it horizontally I guess it would make sense. Mine was high enough to not matter.
ImHidingFromMyKids
It is not necessary to shave, but giving birth is very messy and you can bleed for 6 weeks after. It’s nice to not have that mess stuck to/1
hardlycharlie
This is the reason my girl did, got the advice from one of her friends and she was like dooo it youll regret if u dont.
ImHidingFromMyKids
/2 your pubes.
neverborne
I dont even shave normally so no way in hell am I going to try for labor. There's no dignity in that moment anyway, why try?
jroneida
Truth. Also, those med pros of seen hundreds of births, so unless you’ve got a really strange crotch, they’re not going remember yours
Aardvarksneedlove
Unless it’s half shaved.
jroneida
In talking to friends who do that, nope. It’s tattoos down yonder that people remember.
thepunnypenguin
You don’t have to. But if you need a c section, the nurse will shave you. I’d rather get waxed before so it’s not itchy around the incision.
AninOnin
You don't get itchy after you wax? How???
thepunnypenguin
Exfoliate.
Iloveanonymityandilovebeingnoticed
Exactly what I did. I didn’t know if they’d need to shave me for some reason, and prickly hair growing back is super itchy. Then I realized>
Iloveanonymityandilovebeingnoticed
neverborne
They won't shave your vagina for a c section, just the bikini line/area where they cut
DigYourselfBaby
The vagina is inside the body & also doesn't grow hair, so, yeah, they don't shave vaginas.
v
neverborne
Okay captain obvious, pretty sure everyone knows what I meant.
pastastructure
My daughter is pregnant with her first. Some gems I shared with her. Thanks.
ImHidingFromMyKids
Being a grandma sounds like so much fun!
Apollymkatistrafia
#14 my kids were good at this, but they are both very much like me and prefer sleep over shenanigans anyway. It was great.
V65ozzie
#14. Ether.
DrZev","
Why is a toddler like God?
adventurepantsing
That’s it! That’s what it is. Thank you
Durtschi
#14 I've done it, however, it was hours past their bedtime and I just needed them to sit for 5 minutes so they could realize they were tired
CandiedCorn
#17 If someone doesn't like something because they think it's "spicy", and... it really isn't, they are possibly allergic.
lachicablanca
I got told on numerous occasions that witches were spicy from my oldest. Ok kid. She meant scary.
lachicablanca
Kids say all sorts of weird stuff though and don’t understand the meaning of words clearly. I have a child who has an anaphylactic allergy.
zeacorzeppelin10
Thank God I can't have kids.
arhalts
#31 this won't work bidding under the table works for adults because we are tall looking down. You just brought yourself to eye level
splungedude
It kind of sucks most of these are about moms, as a dad of a 1 month old and a 2 year old I kinda feel forgotten. Except the pregnancy ones
Iinajoki360
These dumps are one part of the reason I am child-free
MmmmmPapayas
This and also listening to all the mom's in my office talk about anything to do with their kids. It sounds very very not fun.
DJEvilBunny
Amen.
Ladderguy
Single dad here...my son is 8yo. I love him, but Never have kids. Just dont.
TurdBurglar3000
It's entirely possible to laugh at these, find parenting exhausting & still think having kids is the best thing that's ever happened to you.
howwouldyoudescribeyourself
This! Here : )
Bronxon
I have 2 kids. Been trying for the 3. For years. They suck some times. But They are literally the best. Not for everyone but I love it.
jhesrup9000
The thing about having children is that, all the, shall we call them challenges?, are all very relatble when you don't have children 1/
jhesrup9000
But all the amazing things are none relatble and offen incomprehensable, when you don't have children. E.g everybody understands that it 2/
jhesrup9000
Is shit to not sleep at night, or finish a meal or not being able to netflix and chill, but you only understand the out-of-this-world 3/
jhesrup9000
Love you get to experience for a tiny human, the Joy you get from them smilling at you, or learning new things - nothing compares, and if 4/
jhesrup9000
You don't have children you have no way of understanding :) that being said i fully understand the choice to not have children! 5/5
3Davideo
It'd be nice to fast forward through the completely helpless stage to the actually-sorta-sentient stage.
Iinajoki360
I'd like to fast backward out of this sentient state
3Davideo
*bing* You have now shat yourself and lack the strength to sit up, much less stand.
Iinajoki360
Yay!
AnythingIsADildoIfYoureBraveEnough
My SIL just had a baby a couple days ago and nothing about it seems appealing to me. I'd much rather be an aunt.
Cucumberclouds
Lol the newborn days are the best
Cucumberclouds
It’s all about perspective. The newborn days are tiring not doubt. But they are simple. Eat, sleep, poop, and cry.
Durtschi
They are?!? Well shit
Revenen
I've been an aunt for about 4 years now and my sister is still miserable. I couldnt agree with you more.
AnythingIsADildoIfYoureBraveEnough
I've never wanted kids but wouldn't have been surprised to get some baby fever. Nope, still nothing. Aunt it is!
geoffmendoza
Good move. I have one. On balance, not worth it
hardlyfatal
Thank you for your honesty. The fervor with which so many try to convince us the misery is worth is rings false. Tired of the sweet lemons.
Cucumberclouds
They’re not trying to convince you. They’re trying to convince themselves. I know this bc I feel this
hardlyfatal
Thank you for your honesty, too. I'm sorry.
howwouldyoudescribeyourself
What if it's just true for some but not for others? Had my first kid at 30, & feel like I had enough time for me, now I actually do love it!
BooRadleyLives
The other reasons are your appearance and personality.
BooRadleyLives
It was a joke! How would I even know, you brittle bitches?
AninOnin
Lol right? I laughed
Iinajoki360
They are just defending my honor. They know that I FUUUUCK
BooRadleyLives
I never doubted it for a second.
McPuffinStuff
imaginaryPeppers
Such a lovely illustration. It makes me feel content and happy.
JackHL01
I feel that, but i as a dad am not thanked by anybody. the wife gets compliments from everyone, but i am barely seen as little more than 1/3
JackHL01
an acessory. and it is i who does most with, for and around the kids. It is NOT a competition, but above is _fact_ . 2/3
JackHL01
It's NOT like she does nothing,but i do way more,mostly bc i WANT to(+ I'm better w/them). A heartfelt thanks from_ANYONE_would be nice. 3/3
JacenHorn
Check out the r/daddit Subreddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
JackHL01
Thank you, i will
WolfPrincess69
Thanks for being a great dad.
JackHL01
Well, am am doing my best.
applejuiceandquinine
Well for what it's worth, thank you for investing in your kids and continuing to do so for their sakes, with or without recognition!
LazyLoes
You’re doing great, i bet your kids love you to pieces <3
JackHL01
Well, i do love them. and i make sure, they know it. they say it too, sometimes.
Bluemanbearpig
Dude thank you, twice. Felt this in my bones
BecauseTheyreAfraidThatsWhy
Feel sry you should feel bitter bout it. Talk to her, you may get heartfelt thanks. If not you'll get it from them at some point. Keep up
JackHL01
been there, done that...