SwagOutTheAss
269924
9101
216
me_irl
Nov 15, 2015 3:34 PM
SwagOutTheAss
269924
9101
216
BigBuckeyeDaddy
I've been in tears over the unlocking car door one. *Taps chest* That hits me where I live
actry
I grew up around chickens and I also never saw them swim.
drunkbs
Did you have a pool?
citydifferent
About to blow up my friends phones with stolen humor.
quietlysinister
"You're so funny! Where do you get these?" "Oh, just around the internet." *to self* NO ONE MUST KNOW MY SECRET
SwagOutTheAss
Then I've served my purpose here
bandersna7ch
Ditto
agentmcgee
Showed my husband the chicken one to which he replied "aargh! They're like land-ducks!"
ShutUpDanceWithMe
....is your husband a pirate?
agentmcgee
I'm sure he thinks he is
Isometimesupvotereposts
Only an 8 hour audiobook? Fucking casual.
TheWeirdNorwegianGuy
Most of them were new to me. Love ya, OP.
SwagOutTheAss
<3
andrich2k
http://imgur.com/RH6mYld NOT ON MY WATCH
NekoMiko06
Fun Fact: Edam is the only cheese that is made backwards!
magikarpBitch
Ok but #3 is the plot for fallen
Donnaalex
Thought the same thing when I read it
aleister94
I love the lemon's little smile
manwhoclaimstobedoctorbutisnt
Is that Dustin Hoffman in the first one? Why is he crouching behind a newspaper dispenser?
[deleted]
[deleted]
manwhoclaimstobedoctorbutisnt
How DARE he.
winterberries95
The one about the immortals is really a book. THE IMMORTALS: by Alyson Noel. Pretty good. I liked it. :)
winterberries95
Evermore is the first book I believe
Sararoseplz
#3- Fallen
heyimgurian
I came down here for this
Devtro
YAAss, Fallen. What a great story.
bugulus
FUCKING DRACULA.
Styxwash
hah lol
ohehmoh
#3 - Evermore
estarina
Was also my first thought. Good series.
bugulus
Dracula.
Styxwash
yes, this, not that other thing
MP050617
My first thought.
smithsmithson
#1 Dustin Hoffman be creepin
yepnope
Oh, out loud?
Atziloot
TIL chickens are witches.
airman2255555
#3 is Bram Stoker's original story of Dracula. Most vampire stories since then have copied that idea.
Styxwash
at least one other person knows this, i'm satisfied
cupcakeninja811
I was going to say it's pretty close to the plot of Vampire Diaries too
TexasLeadFarmer
Keanu Reeves -
heathenbanana
What is love ?
AFenoff05
Don't hurt me No more
whathecrackerjacker
Baby don't hurt me
Pikka
*Excessive continual head jerking*
smakcthat
Don't hurt me, no more
SirJimmothy
It was only a kiss
MrSpatula
Never having to say your sorry.
Casswigirl11
Oh oh oh oh whoawhoa o oh oh whoa oh oh oh oh whoao What is Love?
Melly56789
Baby don't hurt me.
heathenbanana
The time has not yet arrived.
Ithinkmynamemayberelevant
Here http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Love
Tomburr
Baby don- God DAMMIT!!
ifwisheswerehorsestherewouldbelotsofhorsepoo
Zooey Deschanel without bangs looks like Zach Braff in a dress.
Jukior
Prove it
Surrealle
I'm still not convinced that's her
TheLeafsAreActuallyGood
I just found out she was the blonde girl in elf, I've seen that movie 20+ times
bwandee
Lips are too small and not puckered enough.
Dexidus
WHO THE HELL
madisonmattingly
#3 is a book series called the immortals by Alyson Noel. Books: evermore, blue moon, shadowland, dark flame, night star and everlasting.
NotABadLookingNarcissist
Why wouldn't you just wish for a whole cheesecake?
blacksteve
He's just finished his second *whole* cheesecake.
HowlingDysphoria
Why not just one giant cheesecake?
coolbeanslooseit
SombreroWieldingLawmaker
Sadly I do. His newest song is called 'What do you mean'.
Iamlordofspuds
Same
xDownSetx
You fuckin' wish you looked this good in 6th grade.
I got all the chicks.
WigglyBits
I couldn't hear you what did you say?
cisforcience
I don't get the eyes one
guzzball
At the beginning of the song Trap Queen, Fetty Wap says 17 38. He also has a problem with his left eye as shown in the pic.
marylanddd
any idea what the significance of 1738 is?
SavageCanadian
its his squad, Remy Boys 1738
marylanddd
do you know where that came from? or just a random number they added to their squad's name?
marylanddd
nevermind I stopped being lazy and looked it up. it's named after the fancy liquor, remy martin 1738
cisforcience
Thank you. Although I've never heard of this fetty wop
FrauWombat
Oh yes, thank you, me neither. Can somebody explain?
septober
Fetty Wap joke I think? Also not so sure
Rolsryan
Fetty Wap, messed up eye. Fetty is a Remy Boy, Remy Martin 1738 is a cognac. $150 a bottle. He's trying to make it his label.
Lycrus
Probably because that's not how eye scores work. I think they assumed 20/20 meant one score left eye and one right eye
Earlkay
#3- the vampire diaries. You're welcome.
bluefiresar
Also "Soulmate" - book number 6 in the Night World series - funnily enough also authored by LJ Smith. She got stuck on one idea long ago.
Compendyum
True Blood.
Styxwash
ohh, I see what you did there
xXCutieMomokoXx
The Immortal series by Alyson Noel. First book is called "Evermore" #3 's plot pretty much
keanukin
Right? I read that and thought "Sooo, the plot to The Vampire Diaries. Okay."
abditum
Also (kinda) Bram Stoker's Dracula
Dontusemyusername
My first thought too!
haneulyoats
My name is memory, as well.
saymynamebiatch
Georgina Kinkaid is exactly this.
IWishIHadACleverUsernameToo
Aeon Flux?
crazydiamondmlp
And a trilogy (?) written by Hilary Duff. I think the first one is called Elixir.
TomJohn19
This exactly the Witches of East End.
NotSoMuch
Why don't demon and lemon rhyme?
aleister94
they do if you say them in a French accent
Hurensohn
It isn't?
ImMrbulldops
because you touch yourself at night
Carmichael106
WHO TOLD?!
KateUptonsNipples
Ones from Latin and ones from Old French. Then the Great Vowel Shift. Hard to explain in 140 characters.
KaesekopfNW
Yep, it's all about the etymology. And the Old French came from Arabic, while the Latin from Greek.
FSMwombat
Is it ironic? Because Old French come from Latin and Greek and Latin were contemporary
FSMwombat
But Old French come from Latin
Flyndaran
English came from German, yet we don't werfer flammen when we throw flame.
KateUptonsNipples
I'm sure there's a branch in the etymology somewhere
FSMwombat
Demon is a French word but lemon has nothing to do with French
SwagOutTheAss
The same reason pony and bologne rhyme
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
They don't, at least not outside the USofA. It's closer to “boh-lohn-ya”.
SwagOutTheAss
*boh
SwagOutTheAss
I am outside of the USo'A and I say it bohn-lohn-ni. Guess it's just different tongues ;)
ByThePowerOfSCIENCE
In Italian (orig) and every other Romance language it's (roughly) as I described, with an 'a' sound at the end. Ever heard the Spanish 'Ñ'?
ElTigreChang
Sean Bean
Smayds
Lemondemon sure can rhyme, though.
foob85
A lemondemon sounds lovely.
Nujako
I don't get the Justin Beiber one...
ThineCunningLinguist
I'll Show You
SpicedNipples
And a song called sorry
Chewygoesroar
What do you mean?
jeffreybaratheon
"What Do You Mean" and "Sorry" are two of his recent songs.
sj2890
What do you mean?
JamesMoriartyThePsychopath
I know, why is he talking to the rapist?
LadyB0ner
Dad joke. Kind of...
JamesMoriartyThePsychopath
Your username is relevant! http://imgur.com/GF0X2QK
LadyB0ner
Dad joke. Kind of...
ErrantTerrain
He has a song titled 'What Do You Mean".
christopheraia
and a song called "Sorry" ;)
ErrantTerrain
Don't know that one so I didn't get the whole joke either apparently.
Nujako
Ah. I don't listen to him, but, I guess that was obvious given the initial question.
Ivesaidtoomuchalready
I'm so happy you asked so I didn't have to.
ArdvarkRoticeryChicken
yea, I was lost. Clearly, @OP is a fan.
Assfullofbread
Dont have to be a fan, if you listen to the radio 10 min a day you're sure to hear it
EroticZombiePants
I don't listen to crappy stations that play the same 10 songs 8 times a day.
ArdvarkRoticeryChicken
That explains it, I don't listen to the radio.
SwagOutTheAss
I wouldn't say so much a fan, more of a casual listener.
thatgoddamncyclist
You don't casually listen to pissface.
thatgoddamncyclist
You don't casually listen to pissface.
TTwiggs
Good thing he didn't try to summon a demon party
[deleted]
[deleted]
stokedgoat
"That demon stealing whore!!"
Elroydb
Tired of the same politics? Check out http://lemonparty.org !
naughtynoonoo
I FUCKING HATE YOU
Noahryan50
I can't believe that I blind clicked that... fuck...
sixpackofducks
How funny was it that that was the their proudest moment getting that past the sensors
ThunderAtHawaii
When life gives you demons...
LoonyBoBdammitwhotookmyname
BURN THE DEMONS.
winterdust
They usually throw their own party.
No drinks, food or babes, though.
colinardo
Make demonade?
NotSoWittyUserName
He could have summoned Lemon Demon.
Diddyu
Lemondemon throws better parties anyways.
noonerspisms
GRANDMA NOOO!!!
littleoldlady
Ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party, 'cause a Liz Lemon party is MANDATORY.
TheOutlawStar
It's not a Lemon party without ol'Dick!
SexSponge
http://lemonparty.org/
CrookedMouth
am i the only person that it sends me to a random chaturbate channel
SpidermansStupidButtcrack
Not today, satan.
strayyouknowwhatthatmeans
Wow even lemon party supports france...
SexSponge
NSFW
EE10000
JESUS FUCK WHY
EE10000
JESUS FUCK WHY