JohnBigboote74
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Sauce: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/man-in-trump-shaped-flotation-device-charged-with-assault-after-breathing-BBnbfcL
The Donald J. Trump pool float: bobs aimlessly, full of air, can barely keep itself afloat.
On the plus side, it stays fairly quiet and it isn't on Twitter.
Front page edit: Sorry if the sauce was bad.... it worked when I posted it.
Here is updated sauce: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/man-in-trump-shaped-flotation-device-charged-with-assault-after-breathing-on-protesters/ar-BB1bhWZo?li=BBnbfcL
Also, there is now video: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/man-trump-shaped-flotation-device-charged-assault-after-breathing-protesters-n1248603
onlyforn00ds
What a fucking retard.
Northernwest
A pool floaty? I would totally buy one except I don't want ANY $ going to the ass. Gonna go steal one!
Zega000
ElectricOwl99
Imagine seeing this a year ago
LaforgeMRA
Munchman347
You fill it with hot air through a nozzle in the back, between a pair of flabby cheeks...
lwoshea
At least put some suspenders on that thing so you'll have your hands free, you doofus.
JesusofMethlehem
When I saw this news link earlier they had cropped the float. I don't have words.
JohnBigboote74
Yeah, same here.... I went looking for the float. It's way more hilarious than I had imagined. And way more tragic than I had imagined.
skumocomics
does...does he think the trump floatie looks good?
ImmaCatImmaSexyCat
That's ironic considering Trump is the one drowning.
Nukls
The height of trumpian consumerism
deadpandas
Made in China.
ChrisThrasher
Off topic, are there like boob pockets that high on the vest or something? I see law enforcement put their hands in the vests like that alot
LembachTheProfessor
By wearing that he's symbolising his desire of being INSIDE Trump.
SeRaQt
RoodKontjeAapje
Must be a very dedicated and respectable president if it's this type of people he draws in.
E7130
Trumpets are all for Law and Oder until the Law approaches them and gives them an order...
Lefthandturnsignal
It's like watching an adult swim cartoon. Just absurdist humor... except it's actually happening.
MAGICxMURDERxBAG
Wheres Xavier the Renegade Angel when you need him?
dontrike
What grown man wants Trump around his crotch like that?
beachpupper
scottlreece
The hands are too big.
catsandcoke
I just want to remind all Americans that it is not normal to love any politician. You can approve of policy or disapprove. This is not
catsandcoke
normal. Rallies are not normal. This is a cult.
keys79
The whole thing is bizarre. I would never put a giant flag for a politician on my car. That is some taliban shit right there.
TallDude
Obama had a ton of love around him, so I can see folks in the R saying hypocrisy, but Trumps is such an extreme it is terrifying.
fattymcfattzz
Don’t put periods in links
JohnBigboote74
Sorry, not sure what happened... the link worked when I posted it. I have edited to update, and included additional sauce. Thanks.
Gerferkyerserf
This is literally how bad children act when they're throwing a temper tantrum
AnnieAimee
It’s not even anatomically correct. Look at how big the hands are.
OhhHaiMark
I feel like running around with a pool float of trump sound exactly like what a parody should be... except it’s real. And he is genuine
BatmanAndCradleRobin
Where does the doll blow up? The ass or the mouth?
UncleRat
Got my Christmas card cover, inside it will say "Useless as an asshole with taste buds. Many regrets for the New Year."
LightningMcQueef
The Republican Party is a haven for the mentally ill
AntRam95
More like the republican party is a haven for those taking advantage of the mentally ill
catsandcoke
And really gullible people. I feel like these people pay their taxes with itunes gift cards.
TrueFireduck
This can set a fun precedence, if the charges are upheld and the action is legally labeled as assault, people can use self defense
JJ1013
Precedent*. And the level of defense would have to match the level of assault.
spiffylookingnerfherder
You'd need a friendly DA too, or if not, deep pockets and a sympathetic jury.
pdFarmD
Or just enough to subdue the assault. Able to stop the assault with a swift kick in the chin
hwatL4bloopy
So squirt gun?
ActionJohnnie
Defense until they stop breathing
Ludus
*Smash cut to staff writer at the Onion furiously tearing up yet another 'joke' article he was writing that became a reality*
Aaronb1138
I figure by now most of the staff has been reduced to driving for Uber or Amazon.
ClayBones548
MrJackedBroccoli
"JESUS FUCK IM TRYING TO FEED MY FAKILY HERE!"
Ninjainslippers
Pretty sure they have tapped the phones at the Onion so they can get ideas on how to govern.
Alivda
Honestly, I think someone needs to take that cursed typewriter away from them.
NotAPervert
Has anyone checked on Harold Crick yet?
alliewishes
masarian
This is the presidency of Poe’s law
Ludus
You're not wrong.
RectangleJuice
But have you heard of Coe's law?
Yakatakaplah
No what's that?
Kamishiro
Thinly sliced cabbage. (See also: Cole’s Law)
Yakatakaplah
I knew the joke but no one was throwing down the setup. One of my favorites lol