So, divorce it is. 

TL:DR: Divorce doesn't have to be a bad thing, it can be a way to shake the etch a sketch and do something different in your life.

**In fact don't even continue reading. It's just mental diarrhea from a guy who's had way too much espresso since starting a 3 am shift.

sure, It's not an ideal situation, but we've been together since 2012 and married since 2014. Since then, things have changed. Various reasons we stopped communicating as well as we used to, the "relations" part of the relationship spiraled down, and we never really talked about the serious stuff. It's more or less amicable. not 50/50, maybe more 70/30 or 60/40 with her as the majority.

But we're not fighting, we don't hate each other. We sat down and talked over a game of chess, I like to think it helped us stay rational and keep the emotions down. It came down to the best thing for us. we talked about trying to stay friends but you know how that is. instead of talking every day it will be every other day, then once a week, month and then almost never. Maybe we will finish building the world and story we have been co-writing. Maybe not.

I'm really just putting this out there for my own catharsis, plus, I see a lot of posts where the relationship ended horribly, getting lawyers and everything involved. This is not one of those. The only thing we are arguing is who gets to keep our blender. it's one of those $300 dollar vitamix blenders, she bought it for me/us when we were trying to juice and lose weight. I'm insisting that I use it more and I should keep it, but she's insisting it's hers since she bought it.

At least I get to keep the KitchenAid mixer and the 6 quart crockpot. the cats are hers, and one of the dogs is mine. of course I deal with things with humor and bottling things up and never talk and let it out until i've had a bit of bourbon. It's taking significant conscious effort to be okay about this and not let myself fall into a pit of despair and self pity. Like I mentioned, this is mostly a cathartic writing as I express myself better in written word than spoken.

Lastly, three things, which is funny because I am clearly the last person who needs to give relationship advice. 1.) Communicate. 2.) Don't let the little things add up, even if they do leave the bread open EVERY. FRAKING. TIME. because "I didn't know if I was going to want another or not" ) 3.) Be excellent to each other.

Or don't. I'm not a cop. I'm just some jackhole on the internet with some regrets

"He's an asshole but highly self aware"