worthycompass
287854
9209
139
MRW i finally tell that joke i have been saving and nobody gets it
Mar 29, 2014 8:02 AM
worthycompass
287854
9209
139
sparks1337
BA DUM TSS!
AlwaysUpvoteHappyChickens
You are going places OP.
Cegull
this post... me zeusta
worthycompass
I am on the front page!!! http://imgur.com/ZLdWRqH
sirimguraffe
Aaannd I'll see you on the FP in the morning. Goodnight good luck OP.
izmi
So tempted to show this to my highschool classics class...
ConspicuousSpellingError
I never noticed Hades' clasp.
LaFilleDuStade
I LOVE THIS GIF
BeKindAndLoveOneAnother
gif fits exceptionally good.
JennaMack
MauricioGuaura
The REAL story behind Disney's Hercules: Hera is the real villain and she's making Hades think he's doing the right thing.
qtRaven
http://imgur.com/k4kuRmW Everyone upvotes the Devil!
sweatersonmybody
yup. this is a good post.
HalseyLynn
I don't get the trojan bit. What does it mean?
kerrific
If you want slightly more accurate mythology in YA form: Percy Jackson books. Definitely don't touch those travesties called films!
justwalkingby
If you go to Didney Wold, don't believe the stories told - all this crap is far too damn good to come true...
Germhole
Too true, just took the family to Dicknee Hurld, I feel I've been fucking myself with a cactus
ThatsABoldStrategyCotton
jbaero
It bothers me that he says "two thumbs waaaay up" and you can still see it via lip reading, but it's not in the caption.
Dracowrath
as a fan of greek mythology, I smiled.
ArguablySo
Hades at the end made this.
JFKsHelmet
Am I the only one who thought Hades was the best part about this movie?
FrozenSweetenedBovineSecretions
Upvote this comment for no reason
VforVegenceAndFluries
Not sure if burn or good point.
HeyOP
Are you VforVagina reborn?
HeyOP
The best burns are good points.
WhereTheWildGooseGoes
MRW I read this post:
kinpook21
He doesn't just screw people, he also does the birthing too. Athena popped out of his head...literally.
deltaromeo2628
I can't get over James Woods playing Hades.
SpartaWolf117
The animators always had trouble keeping Hades's lips synced up with his voice because he spoke so fast
ShootThePoets
Boring Fact: The film should actually be called Heracles as the film was set in Greece and not Rome.
chiefcherokee
Right, because Disney is known for historical accuracy.
JohnnyTheBlade
Boring Fact: We know. The Heracles/Hercules thing is brought up literally every time this film is mentioned.
Bubben246
Actually, to keep with the Greek spelling, it should be "Herakles".
TangyStar
Is that why they say it that way in the "hercales! hercales!" chanting?
thorbatestogirls
Another fact: this film was made for kids. Being historaclly correct would be nice, but it doesn't really matter.
Natural20orBust
It's not the first time society has lied to children. (*Cough* EVERY HOLIDAY EVER *Cough*)
YouthoughtitwasOPbutitwasIDIO
An animated movie, animated series, live-action series, and 3 feature length movies and no one has got it right.
vladadmiresputains
If they wanted to get it "right" they would be speaking ancient Greek throughout the film and Zeus would have raped Hercules' human mother.
YouthoughtitwasOPbutitwasIDIO
I...I wasn't being serious.
vladadmiresputains
YouthoughtitwasOPbutitwasIDIO
http://imgur.com/Fs2ohIG
MrJohnsonAndTheJuiceCrew
'Hercules' just sounds much better, and is more widely known
YouthoughtitwasOPbutitwasIDIO
I don't know about sounding better, but yeah it is more recognizable.
vladadmiresputains
The English translation of the Iliad has the Roman names for the gods and Homer was Greek. It's just a translation of a tale.
BeifongMetalbendingAcademy
Um... there are like 100 translations of Iliad, and I've encountered 13 of them, none of which do this. Which one is this?
vladadmiresputains
There's Alexander Pope's edition and some more recent ones like the one I read in school. Its because translation Latin is easier than Greek
BeifongMetalbendingAcademy
Pope also called Diomedes "Diomed", as I recall, and divine names aren't a translation issue ever. It's the mortal ones.
vladadmiresputains
I just looked up an online version of Pope's and he wrote "Diomede". Im no expert on the Iliad but there are definitely some English 1/?
vladadmiresputains
Oh, sorry I accidentally replied the rest of the message to myself. Just click the plus thingy.
woozle
Zeus is basically Japanese porn.
TellusEidolon
Tentacles everywhere?
woozle
catand dogs living together, it's anarchy!
TellusEidolon
Damn, and here i wanted to get a couple of catand dogs.
woozle
catdogs are available. They even somehow never poop.
TellusEidolon
Awesome! Don't have to empty litter boxes then.
wererat2000
If there's one thing I've learned about mythology; it's that we should be glad that Zeus and Loki aren't in the same pantheon.
scotttt
If there's one thing I've learned about mythology; it's that old European religions are 1 million times better than any modern religion
Lighttslinger
Is it me or are all ancient gods furries
AThreeFootTallChocolateMooseWithFudgeEyes
i've had this thought that after Ragnarok attacked Asgard, Thor survived, grew a bit mad and became Zeus
Roukan
Quick, write it as a novel and patent it.
DVSBSTrD
Now THAT is a sitcom I want to see.
MajorLeagueFister
Seriously, was their anything that ancient mythologies DIDN'T put their dicks in?
Kargathia
.... no.
Hashbrown123
It's a shame they never went that route with God of War 3. It would have been a much better game.
Hashbrown123
For those that don't know what I'm talking about. http://godofwar.wikia.com/wiki/God_of_War_III#David_Jaffe.27s_Cut_Plot
antidentite22
Ummm pantheon??
LGMHorus
Zeus would most certainly have banged Loki.
NightRush
Dunno, might make a good couple, with all the transformation sex combos.
akemo
Hermes was the equivalent of Loki. Fun times.
KiwiSnail
For a Smite and League of Legends player this sounds really disturbing.
noshtalgia
that says something interesting about norse/greek cultures... that in the norse pantheon the trickster was the evil one (1/2)
noshtalgia
and in greek mythology, the trickster was the father figure (2/2)
FellsApprentice
no, the trickster figure in the greek pantheon was Hermes, who was also the god of commerce, roads, messengers, and theives
noshtalgia
same difference!
NotACanadian
Loki has both a sissy fetish AND a horse fetish.
Shylight
Fun fact: Loki is mother of Sleipnir
Anononononon
MORE fun fact: Loki's Daughter Hel is known as the mother of monsters.
MostLikelyLoki
How do you Midgardians know SO much about what goes on in my love life?!
Anononononon
I'm a theophile. Give me a god and I go all night...
MostLikelyLoki
MaliciousCuntWithoutAReason
Yes. This is some primary school aged bullshit right here. We know.
Shylight
So, they teach in your primary schools that Loki was forced into copulating with horse? Where do you live, man?..
MaliciousCuntWithoutAReason
Australia.
Shylight
Well, after posts about all the nopes, I finally see something good about your country :)
Abso
Midgard.
YuffieK
Fun fact: Pinkie Pie is a direct descendant of Sleipnir.
thegreatandpowerfulkawa
Oki-doki, Loki!
nyrrea
Heaven forbid, but it would explain why she's such a troll.
thegreatandpowerfulkawa
Also this: http://derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/2/19/3259.png
nyrrea
Inchpunch
Fun fact: After Hercules and Megara sailed off into the sunset on that cloud, his mother made him go mad and kill her and their children (1)
Eowyneb
No no no! Hera made him go mad not his mother, his mother was a mortal.
TheMajesticGrammarNazi
Also, I do believe he was made to go mad before then. That's why he did the tasks.
TheMajesticGrammarNazi
This is slightly misleading and innacurate but I'll just chill because Disney was even more so.
Inchpunch
He took another wife, but sold her into slavery. He also had a lot of gay sex, like alot. He banged more males than females. (2)
TheLegendarySuperStrayan
Make it happen, disney
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
You! I like you.
ponkassbitsmofo
You have a weird idea of fun
LiTMac
You don't find gay sex fun? Oh.... -puts away lube-
DemographicUnknown
That last bit actually part of Greek culture in general. Two men was seen as a superior love because it was between two equals. Go figure.
StuckInBetweeen
It wasn't exactly this. Men had sex with younger men to show dominance. The younger could not enjoy it --> the kinaidos.... (1/2)
thebrick87
Goddamnit I wish we had stayed like that... (not the women being inferior bit though)
StuckInBetweeen
(2/2) was a Greek scare figure (homosexual) to discourage enjoying enjoying such acts. It was all about dominance/masculinity not equals.
SoOddICantEven
The love part is true, but males in Ancient Greece thought penetration of a male made on less masculine, so they only had gay sex in (1)
SoOddICantEven
A position where they put their schlong between the other guys squeezed-together thighs. No penetration. And in Athens particularly (2)
Inchpunch
Yep, it was a hallmark of masculinity. His male lovers were 'beyond count'. Weird how society does a 180 like that eh.
StuckInBetweeen
They weren't seen equals though. It was all about masculinity and dominance.
Jeebuz
BECAUSE THOSE UNCLEAN BASTARDS NEEDED JESUS AND nah I'm just messing with you guys. But yeah that has happened a lot in history.
theyak
would 2 women be equals as well? this can be interpreted in two main ways.
DemographicUnknown
They would be equals but not considered -quite- as pure as two men. Yes, it is pretty fucked up and backwards
ThinkingOddity
Except that didn't happen because those movies are nothing like the myths. After all, Hera WOULDN'T have done that if she WAS his mother.
TheWileyOne
Why downvote him? He's right. Hera only did this because she hated Hercules for being one of Zeus' bastards.
theinternetisascaryplace
If you think Gods(esses) didn't do fucked up shit like that to their 100% biological kids in myths you are sorely mistaken.
ThinkingOddity
Sorry for the late reply but no, I am well aware of that. I am saying the motivation for Hera to ruin Heracles was that she WASN'T his mom.
coalblackcrows
example : hephaestus ....zeus donfuked him up
sherbetty
who was his mother jw/
Inchpunch
Hera was his mother in the Disney version but ofc he was a demi-god and Zeus' bastard so she was not his 'real' mother.
sherbetty
ah thats what i thought, i was wondering how his mom could do that...so HERA fucked his day up?
Inchpunch
To be fair he was permanently on PCP from the start, I think she just messed with his auto-aim so he forgot who not to destroy.
m15wallis
I wouldn't want Trojans to design anything to keep something out, especially after that whole Horse incident.
trolololono
To be fair, they kept the Greeks out for TEN YEARS despite having less than half the army that the Greeks did.
spideyrnan
THAT WAS TROY YOU GODDAMN IDIOT. FUCKING TROY.
m15wallis
...?....yeah, the Trojans were from Troy, and they worshiped the Greek pantheon of gods and goddesses. I don't understand your point.
icmonkeys3000
They were 99.9% effective but everyone focuses on that ONE time!
m15wallis
All it takes is one time!
bluefacepaint
Troy's walls were impregnable before that. The city was unconquerable. That's why the whole horse incident happened.
chloethefrenchcat
I conceived while using a Trojan....
HenryDavidThrow
Please, they know how to get you in safely.
Solkanarmy
indeed, reminds me of a lapdancing club mentioned by Dara O'Briain named 'Medusa' - check your mythology, marketing people...
synbioskuun
It worked for this one guy...
Tspn
Maybe the lapdances make you rock hard?
TheElusiveDoctorTurkish
Medusa had a great asp.
DrHenryJonesJr
its because the horse was wooden, Trojans get wood
MoString
I always wondered why they named them Trojans. It seems like a bad marketing strategy.
ScaleScentedAnalDildo
I wanted to post the exact same thing. Trojan condom sounds like something specifically designed for surprise release inside :D
Chukapi
Oh shit, I think you guys just opened up a case for a conspiracy theory.
SerialKitten666
I actually find they break really easily...so there's that...
cultureshockfutureshockfuckyourselfchokeyourself
Either that, or you're having a nice time on your own and BAM, surprise penis inside you outta nowhere.
lasiopao
lmao, surprise penis.
ScaleScentedAnalDildo
Oooh, kinky.
JulesDrake
I've been thinking that for years... but it seems no one who HAS had sex is smart enough to talk to about this incongruity.
ScaleScentedAnalDildo
Or just buys another brand. Or has a stable relationship and uses another form of protection.
JulesDrake
I was making a self-referential joke concerning how no one in this comment thread has had sex. Because, you know, nerds.
OhNoItsAGhost
90% of the greek mythological stories start with Zeus not being able to keep it in his pants
prfesser
100% of Christianity has the same basis, substitute Holy Ghost for Zeus.
prfesser
Wow, I guess I touched a nerve or seven there.
Flyndaran
Hey, he only raped one chick, so it's totally not the same at all.
Paranoidq
Thunder Bolts Fired...
Flyndaran
Abuse of power, for those saying that she willingly accepted the command of God almighty.
Misora
There's your problem. He didn't wear pants.
TellusEidolon
If only Hephaestus had made him a pair of unbreakable pants.
Misora
Then they would have just tried locking all the goddesses in them and then all out war would have broken out.
Paranoidq
Was he a God before this? Or is he considered a God because of this?
Kargathia
Zeus has been a god by birth. There's a pretty good case to be made he's got daddy issues though. His father -did- try to eat him.
corvofay
And his father did eat his sister/wife.
Paranoidq
Damn, and I thought Oedipus had issues...
corvofay
Zeus's father chopped off his own fathers testicles with a sickle.
kanihaznaiph
I need a pic of hera being tired of zeus's shit...
corvofay
There are many cases of this throughout Greek mythology like when she sent the snakes to kill Herakles and his twin after they were born.
OhNoItsAGhost
If i had any artistic skill I would happily draw that for you. But I do not unfortunately. Hera did get tired of the shit quickly though (1)
OhNoItsAGhost
I don't think I ever heard her take it out on Zeus though. For example. So was a woman who zeus banged. And she was turned into a cow (2)
OhNoItsAGhost
By Hera. I know you probably just wrote that because its funny (it is) but I always like tossing some mythology info at people :)
kanihaznaiph
I think she was also responsible for medusa, but yeah its kinda hard to punish the god of all gods...gotta take it out where u can get it