And that is called paying the Dane-geld; But we've proved it again and again, That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld You never get rid of the Dane.
Bear in mind that this eventually resulted in a centuries-long rivalry between England and France, after the Normans conquered England in 1066. So... be careful out there, guys.
THE funniest shit I read about Raccoons, is that we've made Urban breeds, SIGNIFICANTLY (objectively noted through testing), more Social (basically friendly, since a friendly one can get food much more easily than a mean one), AND more "intelligent," because they have to overcome obstacles & puzzles, like doors, windows, trashcans, & food containers, to GET food, up to the point of "adv" toolmaking; unlike just randomly foraging through forests, fields, & plains, as their Rural counterparts. ^_^
I wish. When we go, we're likely taking most, if not all, mammals with us. If I was a betting man, I'd bet on higher Corvids or those big, smart AF, parrots that have longer life spans than us, or octopus. As long as we don't fuck it up so bad that Earth winds up like Venus. -_-
I put out one of those compressed corn squirrel feeders and a raccoon unscrewed it from the tree and ran off with it, feeder and all. I had to drill a smaller hole for the new one that was so difficult to screw in that I had to use a long piece of rebar to twist it into the tree so they couldn't make off with it again. They're too smart for their own good.
Addendum; so as not to be misunderstood, by "advanced," tool making skills, I mean for a fuckin raccoon; like building stairs, using things as lever arms, using a rock to break a window or something, and shit like that. Many things not observed in "wilderness," raccoons since they feed by seasonal opportunities off plants & animals, which is just search based, by time of year, while in urban jungles, the locations are limitless based on scent, BUT many obstacles & puzzles stand in the way. ^_-
Addendum II; for those that think about capture & release... Raccoons, at least Urban ones, have been documented as returning "home," from over 40 miles (64 km) away, after having been relocated, using completely dark surroundings, in less than 2 wks. THE funniest thing with my local coons, is they confused my pet chickens, for like a street gang of the huge owls that live out here. My chickens scared away ALL the raccoons, squirrels, & chipmunks. I didn't know squirrels hissed when scarred. LOL
Nooo don't tell me this! I have at least one living in my crawlspace and I can't get it to go away! I've called somebody to handle it but now I'm worried it'll just come right back.
Oh, they COME BACK, unless dead or taken INSANELY far away or taken somewhere food is fucksanely available like several miles away to a mom & pop fast-food joint that has not terribly secure garbage cans or young workers that are excited to fuck to have "pet" raccoons in back (EVERY fast food joint I've EVER known or summered at, in my yute (YES, Vinny ref.) has had their local coons, except for a few old timers or corporate asshats that make it their raison d'être to fort knox their garbage).>>
>> Supposedly they ALWAYS return to where they were born or very near to where they were born. Like come hell or high water, they come back "home". While, this isn't just anecdotal. Some yrs back I was capturing & relocating, due to my gardens, & I was just dropping them off at a lake in a Forest Preserve approx 10 miles away. A Forest Pig noticed, slowly just like oozed on over & was like yeah, you're wasting your time, we've done studies, & these fuckers come "home," from over 40 miles away.
Yeah. We’re domesticating them. The way I’ve been hearing it described. The groups studying it are really paying attention to see parallels to how dogs happened. Same as wolves learning it’s a lot easier to hang around us and act cute and we’ll feed them. It’s already become easy to just keep them as pets. Fat, happy, trash pandas. 🖤
(Sorry for length, Imma ramble a bit) See, that's the bit of debate; if we domesticated them, or THEY became domestic on their own. Here's why, we got Domestic (Pet) Dogs, 15-35 THOUSAND years ago, while we didn't "domesticate" ANY-fuckin-THING else until 9-10 thousand years ago. THAT is a monstrous time gap for "domestication" between animals. Here's how they could have been kinda born "domestic". Genetically, they can't figure out which is the primordial Canis, wolves or jackals. While since>>
>> wolves, jackals, coyotes, & dogs have no genetic barriers, it seems, "pure blood," wolves, jackals, coyotes, or dogs are only theoretical, because EVERYTHING tested, has mixed genes. Now, Canis familiaris (domesticus), just could have popped out from Canis interbreeding and we just accepted them. The most recent, extensive, long-term studies all say, that there is NO WAY IN ALL BLOODY FUCK that Wolves OR Jackals could have or would have allowed themselves to become "familiaris". ^_^ LOL!
It is my understanding that in many suburban areas there are now more animals such as raccoons, squirrels, deer, etc.. than there were in the same areas before people came.
That's due to big food stock storages, decorative plating of shit they love to eat, and the severe lack of native predators like wolves and bears. Deer and Coyotes are EXTREMELY overpopulated. It's why like thousands die in car accidents with them, and hundreds of people are killed annually, in "personal," confrontations, where deer seem to really like cosplaying as Vlad the Impaler. -_- LOL!
Also along those lines, the place with the greatest number of peregrine falcons is Manhattan. They are a bird that lives on cliffs near an ocean that dines on smaller birds such as pigeons. We would have had a hard time building them a better environment.
Pigeons used to be called rock doves and lived in rocky regions before being heavily domesticated, spread across the world, then forgotten as technology made their use as working animals irrelevant.
Went to Budapest in 2005 on my honeymoon, and a buddy living there took us to the zoo. There were raccoons living in an enclosure, with logs and bushes and a little stream. We joked they should just cage off the dumpsters behind the restaurant (which was very good, btw, if you only like meat) and chuck them in there.
Raccoons are very adaptable. But generally they are forest or scrubland animals. They prefer to nest in hollow trees. They are hunted by bobcats, pumas, wolves and coyotes.
I have a crystallized memory of hearing odd noises coming from my neighbor's roof and looking up to see a HUGE raccoon silhouetted by the full moon as it scrambled across like a demented fat goblin. They get big in the suburbs.
ChewyTheWookie
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1cTJ3YnVpeHFpeXE1cm51eHFreXZrNzk2cDNrODJjNzJsYjdpajI1NiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/fvE2zWIJ4fumc/200w.webp
Heelcat70
If I get attacked by a raccoon having a sugar rush, I'll know who is at fault.
FTUG
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1dmw0dG5zZHZqaXZrOWxnYzU5dmZ2N3ZsYmVlYmN2bWI2eHRyYnJrdiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/4bSZ9toQfhCFi/200w.webp
jgluth101
Its name must be Duncan.
Trimule
Another well trained animal.............. the clerk, not the coon.
stonebreaker6
anjeleyezjr
An animal gets two honks before it becomes one with the pavement.
bamblebimble
Wtf is wrong with you. Would you do that to a person? What if one of your pets was out on the road and someone did that to them? How would you feel?
curialis
I don't want a lot. Just enough to wet my beak.
decarnatedame
Unfortunately, he has a lot of friends with grubby little beaks, too, like Fagen and his band of "artful dodgers".
AtariJaguar64Bit
You gotta pay the coon toll, if you wanna donut hole.
... at least when you order during the DAY, MAN!
DRockchild
But when I do it they call the cops!
heyletsbefriends
no, theyre giving it a donut to make it come back.
Jackrabbitry
Mission accomplished!
Spiffytown
Raccoon hands = simkaye
philmoregraves
Id be paying donuts to keep him there blocking traffic. Fuck them customers. Lets go anarchy
nickoftime90
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MmN4YzQ2bHloaW83M3ExYWx6ZzJoa3FoMG56Y2Y1OTBuazBtYmE1aiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/QVm5j2lkL8QYXhBXfr/200w.webp
Titilve74
Wouldn't this be bad for his health though..? 🙄🤔
graceinsheepsclothing
Let the raccoon have some sugar
Jackrabbitry
Isn't it bad for the health of the people about to order that garbage? Yes
IakobZ
The most polite customer I've ever seen at a drive-thru
HonHomes
And that is called paying the Dane-geld;
But we've proved it again and again,
That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
You never get rid of the Dane.
swedeonamoose
You could just do it the byzantine way, just hire the fuckers instead and make them work for you.
Icanhearwhatyouresayingandtheanswerisno
HonHomes
Or the French way, and grant them land on the border so that they defend your border against all the other ones
MrAcurite
Bear in mind that this eventually resulted in a centuries-long rivalry between England and France, after the Normans conquered England in 1066. So... be careful out there, guys.
imnotinthewitnessprotectionprogram
So that’s why it’s called Normandy
gilliamv
Better then andynorm.
imnotinthewitnessprotectionprogram
Who names someone Abinormal?
PoorSucker
William the Conqueror was a direct descendant of the Vikings through his great-great-great-grandfather, Rollo (Hrolf Ganger)
TheVillageGrouch9000
Rocky has the staff trained. Not a good deal for any of them. Please don't do that...
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
THE funniest shit I read about Raccoons, is that we've made Urban breeds, SIGNIFICANTLY (objectively noted through testing), more Social (basically friendly, since a friendly one can get food much more easily than a mean one), AND more "intelligent," because they have to overcome obstacles & puzzles, like doors, windows, trashcans, & food containers, to GET food, up to the point of "adv" toolmaking; unlike just randomly foraging through forests, fields, & plains, as their Rural counterparts. ^_^
Bizarkly
A friend of mine and myself -- admittedly under some influence -- once pegged raccoons as *most likely* the humans' successor species...
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
I wish. When we go, we're likely taking most, if not all, mammals with us. If I was a betting man, I'd bet on higher Corvids or those big, smart AF, parrots that have longer life spans than us, or octopus. As long as we don't fuck it up so bad that Earth winds up like Venus. -_-
FrisbeeSloths
I put out one of those compressed corn squirrel feeders and a raccoon unscrewed it from the tree and ran off with it, feeder and all. I had to drill a smaller hole for the new one that was so difficult to screw in that I had to use a long piece of rebar to twist it into the tree so they couldn't make off with it again. They're too smart for their own good.
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
Addendum; so as not to be misunderstood, by "advanced," tool making skills, I mean for a fuckin raccoon; like building stairs, using things as lever arms, using a rock to break a window or something, and shit like that. Many things not observed in "wilderness," raccoons since they feed by seasonal opportunities off plants & animals, which is just search based, by time of year, while in urban jungles, the locations are limitless based on scent, BUT many obstacles & puzzles stand in the way. ^_-
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
Addendum II; for those that think about capture & release... Raccoons, at least Urban ones, have been documented as returning "home," from over 40 miles (64 km) away, after having been relocated, using completely dark surroundings, in less than 2 wks. THE funniest thing with my local coons, is they confused my pet chickens, for like a street gang of the huge owls that live out here. My chickens scared away ALL the raccoons, squirrels, & chipmunks. I didn't know squirrels hissed when scarred. LOL
Gryzwnt
Nooo don't tell me this! I have at least one living in my crawlspace and I can't get it to go away! I've called somebody to handle it but now I'm worried it'll just come right back.
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
Oh, they COME BACK, unless dead or taken INSANELY far away or taken somewhere food is fucksanely available like several miles away to a mom & pop fast-food joint that has not terribly secure garbage cans or young workers that are excited to fuck to have "pet" raccoons in back (EVERY fast food joint I've EVER known or summered at, in my yute (YES, Vinny ref.) has had their local coons, except for a few old timers or corporate asshats that make it their raison d'être to fort knox their garbage).>>
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
>> Supposedly they ALWAYS return to where they were born or very near to where they were born. Like come hell or high water, they come back "home". While, this isn't just anecdotal. Some yrs back I was capturing & relocating, due to my gardens, & I was just dropping them off at a lake in a Forest Preserve approx 10 miles away. A Forest Pig noticed, slowly just like oozed on over & was like yeah, you're wasting your time, we've done studies, & these fuckers come "home," from over 40 miles away.
Terran81
Yeah. We’re domesticating them. The way I’ve been hearing it described. The groups studying it are really paying attention to see parallels to how dogs happened. Same as wolves learning it’s a lot easier to hang around us and act cute and we’ll feed them. It’s already become easy to just keep them as pets. Fat, happy, trash pandas. 🖤
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
(Sorry for length, Imma ramble a bit) See, that's the bit of debate; if we domesticated them, or THEY became domestic on their own. Here's why, we got Domestic (Pet) Dogs, 15-35 THOUSAND years ago, while we didn't "domesticate" ANY-fuckin-THING else until 9-10 thousand years ago. THAT is a monstrous time gap for "domestication" between animals. Here's how they could have been kinda born "domestic". Genetically, they can't figure out which is the primordial Canis, wolves or jackals. While since>>
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
>> wolves, jackals, coyotes, & dogs have no genetic barriers, it seems, "pure blood," wolves, jackals, coyotes, or dogs are only theoretical, because EVERYTHING tested, has mixed genes. Now, Canis familiaris (domesticus), just could have popped out from Canis interbreeding and we just accepted them. The most recent, extensive, long-term studies all say, that there is NO WAY IN ALL BLOODY FUCK that Wolves OR Jackals could have or would have allowed themselves to become "familiaris". ^_^ LOL!
Casually
It is my understanding that in many suburban areas there are now more animals such as raccoons, squirrels, deer, etc.. than there were in the same areas before people came.
ObjectivePragmatistWithHope
That's due to big food stock storages, decorative plating of shit they love to eat, and the severe lack of native predators like wolves and bears. Deer and Coyotes are EXTREMELY overpopulated. It's why like thousands die in car accidents with them, and hundreds of people are killed annually, in "personal," confrontations, where deer seem to really like cosplaying as Vlad the Impaler. -_- LOL!
emcat11
There’s less predators like coyotes and cougars near larger settlements.
Casually
Also along those lines, the place with the greatest number of peregrine falcons is Manhattan. They are a bird that lives on cliffs near an ocean that dines on smaller birds such as pigeons. We would have had a hard time building them a better environment.
jj999124
Pigeons used to be called rock doves and lived in rocky regions before being heavily domesticated, spread across the world, then forgotten as technology made their use as working animals irrelevant.
slopwizard
I cannot imagine what a raccoon's natural habitat would be. Logically I know it is not the suburbs, but that's all I can see when I try to think of it
theobituator
Went to Budapest in 2005 on my honeymoon, and a buddy living there took us to the zoo. There were raccoons living in an enclosure, with logs and bushes and a little stream. We joked they should just cage off the dumpsters behind the restaurant (which was very good, btw, if you only like meat) and chuck them in there.
spinbutton3
Raccoons are very adaptable. But generally they are forest or scrubland animals. They prefer to nest in hollow trees. They are hunted by bobcats, pumas, wolves and coyotes.
CommodusLeitdorf
I've seen Racoons in the wild, they are really tiny. Then I see the Racoons who live in my neighborhood. They are absolute fat bastards.
Casually
Saw one waddling around our back yard and it truly was waddling.
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
Happy, fat bastards!
Blud4BludGod
I have a crystallized memory of hearing odd noises coming from my neighbor's roof and looking up to see a HUGE raccoon silhouetted by the full moon as it scrambled across like a demented fat goblin. They get big in the suburbs.