BladeWay
394945
11968
887
My girlfriend which was very abusive toward me forced me to stop talking to my best friend and turn vegan so I told her to pack her thing and cooked myself a good old steak
mattjuvia13
Zer0reZ
I don't believe you!
Arcman304
You made the right choice
metalfoto
+1.
lolthisismyusername
You let a girlfriend sway you to stop eating meat and cease communication with a friend? Dude.
WhatAboutReefer
Is it for your black eye?
Natojenkins
no its for that gash between his legs where his balls used to be.
Wilshaxspur
Needs more marbling. You were vegan too long. Too long.
TheAngryBang
I used to like imgur. Now its as idiotic and preachy as that chive site we used to look at
metalchild88
ADeerDanceInvitationToPeace
Good! Now post pictures of it cooked!
havetogod
This could just be a neck beard who never had a girlfriend trolling for internet points
ramenbrothersandsisters
Username supports your theory
ILiekToCookAndBake
So you left your girlfriend for meat? I always knew OP was a faggot.
SomeCrazyNerd
My first thought when I saw the thumbnail was it was a gay joke.
SeanieG94
Dumped your GF because you prefer meat.. sure
givemedownvotessoifeelterrible
Well yeah that's a pretty good reason
NextToNobody
To be fair, there is no way he could keep up the sex if he keeps eating meat so why not... erectile dysfunction and all
ClaudeWicked
I mean, if someone decided to make demands of you like cutting ties with your friends, and trying to enforce dietary changes? Fuck em.
MOTHERFUCKINGFLYINGSPAGHETTIMONSTER
Im pretty sure its because she tried to cut him off from his friends and force him into a lifestyle he didnt choose...
madman81
It seems a bit undercooked.
frogmanbunny
Nothing says cooked meal like uncooked steak.
Dontrespectmahauthoritah
Sure you did.
justbeingjessica
I see you've already cooked it to perfection - good job @op and congrats on future single-sex!
TedTheMan
Found the extra not-a-vegan.
dschuma
She only had one thing? What was it?
thehoesenone
no, she packed her thing with her things.
whatDidsh3say
You should have put a hole in it first. Went to town. 3 mins later cook to desired temperature .
GoodGraces
Hahahahahahahahaha!!
fourkingbaker
InappropriateGifReplier
Good for you but... Didn't eating meat ever come up during the courting process?
SherMattLockSmith
Probably knew she was a vegan, but as the relationship progressed she became more controlling and demanded he stop eating meat.
CaptainLogopolis
Or maybe the post is fake
Dionysus187
Yep, she probably even said she was fine with it in the beginning.
MistressLyda
Or he didn't care to begin with, and assumed he could live with it.
boredAFxInfinity
How does someone turn you into a vegan? Or make you stop talking to someone.
TomWebb10
You seen Cowspiracy or Earthlings?
InappropriateSexualComment
Wanna find out fuccckkkboooiii
nihilistdad
By withholding sex.
HideyoWifeHideyoKids
Ultimatums
Cubber11
They are cunts!! lol
Buzzdog1
By putting your cock in a chastity cage and slapping your balls and making you lick her butt while calling you her little chastity sissy boi
rectified
HideyoWifeHideyoKids
Thats...specific. Story time?
Darkspire
I think that was the whole story.
doodybird
Manipulation.
TemporaryUzername
a.k.a- being a soft bitch
S3ns
Or in this case, womanipulation.
ficifpici
More like vagipulation.
brianclementsvatua
Stop posting your dead pet.
rbudrick
Literally the post to the left of this right now.
BouncingCzechs
kelevrah
Fuck, that one was great! Cow did you get that idea? +1!
ndvx
HappyMadison
It's depressing.
HenryDorsettCase
some shitty posts make great comments. thx for the laugh +1
Lortuxim
dead girlfriend*
ashmenon
They were good dogs, Bront.
AncientThotDeity
GoodGraces
OMG. Best friggin comment! LMAO
balencedrago
Thats so meta
jamesinGa
Nothing like a slab of lab.
scottyboi1337
5/7
kofunstuff
[deleted]
[deleted]
SteakBakeforPM
It's a reference to a post that's on the FP atm, someone's posted the image in a comment above yours :)
DontTazeMeBrah
http://imgur.com/PVa4Qwu man that totally went over my head
stretchwinters
Meta
CannibalisticVegan
Well OP's not depress. So..
jcalbuHero
2forthemoney
Better then a dead g/f
cserva
GetOffMyLawnYa
It's a good post, Brain. 12/10
anonj
I agree, Tom's post wasn't bad.
PandaBox
5/7
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
Bryan*
GetOffMyLawnYa
No. And I ain't givin' you no tree fiddy, ya' god damn Lock Ness Monster!
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
HeywouldJablowme
Shitty week to have to put my kitty down. I'll get my sympathy from Facebook i guess????
Footstepsofdawn
Oh no!!!! Poor kitty. ????
SonsOfMoog
Epic username
Footstepsofdawn
Thanks! Got it from Led Zeppelin. ;)
starlette
Am vegetarian. Boyfriend went hunting. I baked him bacon cheddar muffins and brownies to snack on in the woods. We're not all horrible.
Kevincatalan
Agree, my now ex gf was vegetarian and was super relaxed about me eating meat. I supported her diet %100 in return. It was nice
thelaaaaaw
By experience, vegetarians are usually cool. Vegans are the over religious of food, looking down upon sinners from their superior morals.
Lilshadow48
Vegetarians are cool. Vegans are the ones the internet likes to rag on.
Lilshadow48
Explain something, get downvoted. Imgur is strange sometimes.
firesail
imgur likes circle jirking the whole militant veganism thing. I've seen dozens of these posts on the fb and user sub. Never veganism ones.
nesste
But you have a boyfriend....eww. :P
MyCatIsCalledWinston
same i get shit for vegetarian... idc if someone eats meat. radical vegans kinda spoil it for the rest of us
iamthephantomlimb
Way to go. Lol, she only had one thing.
NordMan
I want to know what her thing was!
NachoPete
She tucked it in.
okillshutupnow
Later bitch time for beef
swinglinered
double entendre
TedTheMan
Can a steak keep you warm at night?
noxmeter
Yes and if you beat that meat it helps you sleep
BigBurkhart
Knowing how skinny vegans are, she probably couldn't even keep herself warm at night.
ShadowSquirrel
Will a steak deny you looking at and trying other steaks. You can always find another girl that's not vegan.
ashmenon
Depending on how your body processes protein, yes, yes it can.
GetMeAReubenSandwich
Yes, if you eat it before bed.
Sheepyhead
You don't want an honest answer to that
dylf
Meat sweats, carnivorous flatulence and a thick blanket from Tijuana will keep you warmer than any heartless, vegan cunt. Steak on hombre!!!
TedTheMan
And bacon!
TedTheMan
okillshutupnow
Blankets do that dude
TedTheMan
Not enough.
okillshutupnow
More blankets and central heating
chinesefingerhut
But what will warm your cold dead heart?
3Hamswillkillhim
Bullshit, this hits imgur trigger points in all the right ways
DamageAxis
But... he didn't say crossfit.
Derpshit
the steak looks delicious though . even if the story is bullshit . FP material in my book
ecotern
Preach
TheDogEnd
Imgur doesn't care if it's being manipulated as long as you touch its buttons softly, gently, and in a circular jerking motion.
anonj
"Why circu... oh! lol." -me, just now
SAUSAGEmcmuffinwithHASHbrowns
This one cracked me the fuck up.
L0rdM0M0
I'd like to be happy for OP for getting out of an abusive relationship but everything reeks of a lie that's extremely disrespectful to 1/2
L0rdM0M0
people who are actually in these kind of situations 2/2
FartedWhileMakingUpName
Honestly, for me, OP's story is more believable because it isn't 1000 words and set over multiple posts.
StalkerMagnet
This ticks off all the imgur boxes. A villainous woman, veganism, and super manly meat. See you on the front page.
[deleted]
[deleted]
StalkerMagnet
?
KaiserSkald
Good joke
Synai
It ticks off all of the 'totally happened' boxes imo
Wookyns
OP's post is like ... Clickhole re: Imgur-bait. Or the 'American Voices' thing the Onion does. Absurd, concise, & it screams nonsense BS.
hangemhigh13
No cat tax. Downvoted. Rules are rules.
LizardEnterprises
Not *all* the imgur boxes. Bernie Sanders didn't personally give him the steak while rescuing a puppy. Still enough to make FP though.
gingerbrdman
And I get accused of neckbeardiness. Check the username. It's literally got the "blade" in it!!!
Vaanhalen
Study it!
MenaceToSobriety
It won't make it. Lacks a few boxes you didn't mention. Believability. Depth. Quality. Remotely likable protagonist.
TerraDactyl89
what about boobs?
maribl
oh you sweet summer child
flippywizgig
Yet here it is.
TEDwisdom
Neither believability nor depth have ever been factors
MenaceToSobriety
Tons of posts get downvoted because they're bullshit and/or just don't sound real. I was wrong about this one.
FlyGamer69
And Tits
MenaceToSobriety
Yes. I was wrong. I'd sooner admit it than hide behind [deleted].
SloppyJimbo
It's on fp
Seollal
CATS! You forgot the cats :c
PleaseDontRespondToMySarcasticCommentsWithASeriousReply
Plot twist...
doogah
SpecimenSpiff
Are you just insane, or have you not visited the FP in a while?
MenaceToSobriety
Yes.
EricFromAccounts
Like that's EVER stopped a shitpost reaching FP.
MenaceToSobriety
The ones that break through are in the vast minority. I've spent enough time in UserSub to know the dark things that never make it.
msu14hockey
I think those things you mention are true, but make it MORE likely for this to hit FP, not less.
MenaceToSobriety
*Checks back in after making this comment an hour ago to find that this post has 256 upvotes... of course.*
Grootality
Probably cause all those things you listed are actually rare on fp... Hell even people fake being related to missing people for points...
OneShot510
And now over 2000
BladeWay
I am drunk, the aim of this is not to go to the front page but to feel less lonely bro
newworldtraveller
There's a lot of nice women that enjoy meat too. We should create a dating profile site. Meatpeoplemeetcom? What do you think?
DarthVaderVersusThePope
I think I want a steak... Medium-rare...
newworldtraveller
Do it!
curioskill
I'm not your bro, guy
MenaceToSobriety
Wasn't attacking, @BladeWay, just saying I don't see this on FP. "No likable protagonist" is because your story is one sentence. Nothing bad
FlyerChewy
Welp, I guess it made it to the FP.
FartedWhileMakingUpName
I think in this case, brevity was on OP's side. Imgur doesn't always require a 1000 word back story to believe a story and upvote.
JawaLol
He's drunk, so he's remotely likable.
HowDidTheyUnderstandR2D2
He's drunk, so he's immediately likeable to other drunks.... hes one of us....
Hidinginmyowncountry
Can confirm, drunk.
MenaceToSobriety
Yes, but this is newfound, apocryphal character development! It doesn't count towards the post!
JawaLol
It's an early access post!
Justincredible
Don't forget bad grammar!
cbaggs32
Gotta love a perfect analysis. Well done.
hopefullythisworks
This screams imgur top comment. sympathises with the main subject. pats his back. lists the imgur codes of must compliance. well earned son
StalkerMagnet
I was actually mocking him but it doesn't seem like anyone noticed.
AlcoholicsAnonymousBYO
If @op was actually mocking such attitudes - apply appropriate net rule - are we then approaching maximum mockception?
LlamaLingo
There's nothing manly about going to the store and buying meat.
StalkerMagnet
I agree. I was making fun of OP and of Imgur as a whole.
LlamaLingo
My bad.
malfunctionm1ke
But.... there are no kittens here.
Nate3
We are men, manly men
VeganBae15
To think that u have to kill animals,cause global warming and get diabetes to be manly is kinda stupid lmao
ihatesociology
That's a brave username in these here parts. Upvote for you.
Vaanhalen
Get that faux feminist outrage outta here. Can be a villainous boss/parent/spouse/bf/gf/sibling/ex all equally FP material
Deadpoolisfunny
HELL YEAH MAN! YOU EARNED THAT STEAK!
DeathBeUponYou
Hope you swept herout like this http://imgur.com/DVvPg20 Bloody Vegans! stop drinking water its a fish ouhse!
richardpleasums
I'm not so sure that old meat is good
NotquiteThereyet00
Bro good for you!!! You did the right thing!
Zombiechews
Feminist are vegan cos they don't like the D in their mouth
NonnieNic
Is she easily triggered?
bcmomma
Grammar much? "Which" was abusive? How about who? And which "thing" did she pack? Jeez...
tremonti
Upvoted for preserving the dead American english language (not capitalized on purpose, ya wildlings).
Vaanhalen
"Where?" "Why"? "When?"
chelicerat10
...oh piss off will ya.. ..
yuyufan43
Women as villains is a thing people look for? Aw :(
StalkerMagnet
How can you not have noticed that the Imgur hivemind is pretty strongly anti-feminist?
yuyufan43
I've noticed but to actively look for a villain is rather sad. This community is typically nice and people that do that must be lonely
necroninja34
Why are the boxes angry?
noprobllama
Good thing you left her. Staying together would have been a missed steak.
allygator777
I hate you but I love you
SiriusLeeBlack
Goddamn I had to come back just to upvote this because that was a fucking good pun
Kierbear2g
get out
YouSufferWithCognitiveDissonance
iSwearIdidntShootBambisMom
If my family asks... a pun killed me. What a way to go
bigdog1983
adriano99
Come on, this is very good!
WuTangoReinhardtUnchained
It's ancient
rockbuster
Steak puns are a rare medium well done.
mattchew55b
You beautiful creature.
SnickSnackPaddyWhack
That pun was a little crispy for me, I tend to enjoy the rarer ones.
ShaggySnatch7
I "ribeye" your comment...im not very good at these things.
noprobllama
Yeah, that was not very...well done
Aprofilebyanyothername
A good pun is quite rare these days
noprobllama
I'd say they're only medium rare
Aprofilebyanyothername
It seems like the steaks have been raised. MEAT PUN WAR!
BipolarBat
Peppyfist
Literally
EliteReptilian
BRAVO!
GetSchwiftyIsAlreadyTaken
Astrangeimageeveryday
Kierbear2g
get out
stefanreckson
Great pun!! Well done, sir, well done...
stefanreckson
Ahh I see what you did there. Clever. "Well done." ...get jt? Well done... Hahab
Stackhouse2
*golf clap*
inquisitivespaniards
*baseball stadium clap*
captainbender
oddfaceoscar
+1 all you need is a blow job air.
Thoraxe123
I don't think there will ever be a more appropriate use of this gif
klar971
thrillhaus
Perfect! +1
gtothehizzle
TrumpinmyRodham
I'm really proud of this meme usage
tatualysse
I second this statement
kilgoreissocoollike
I third this statement