MrNozzlelollipops
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We all aspire to be on the level of spite cow Dad
trikucian
I'm actually quite proud of her dad adopting a male dairy cow, now Paddy will live a lovely happy life with his bonkers owner
spidermenz
ILoveToLaughHaHaHaHa
This is a mecca of stories from your friendly neighborhood spite anarchists, and I'm totally here for it!!
maybenotsofairenough
This is the only thing that has made me actually laugh in days
MrSpankalot
Did they at least make eye cream out of that one shot eye?
FinalArchie101
Suddenly it's all clear, suddenly I know who I'm supposed to be.
MalcomReynoldsWrap
This is the level of petty I wish to one day reach. Bravo, old man. And Paddy.
ivanova4
Love this man. I should aspire to be so cool for my grand child.
KurtopiaCreative
Your Dad is cool AF! I wish he was my dad. My dad was a dick.
cowboyshooter
Oh man, I hope he adopted an Oreo Cow. That would have worked with the tuxedo so well!
Tomadzo
Is everyone just forget that we didn’t learn how she got shot in the eye?
experiencemike
Yea I'd like to know more. Looks like a BB in the X-ray but it could be a broken .22?
YouL0stTheGame
I aspire to be as spiteful revenge-fuled as this man
housebread
People like this give me hope
stevent1965
LSD much?
animatronicChristmasChickens
Always upvote the spite cow
Sponger004
How many times have u upvoted a spite cow?
DeleteriousDuck
I’ve read the spite cow, but the woodchuck, Cheney shot, and tick out fit are new to me!
cousteau
Not to be an old timey cliché, but isn't a "male cow" usually referred to as a "bull"?
FinrodFelagundPrinceoftheNoldor
Depends on whether it's been castrated or not.
cousteau
Isn't that an ox?
FinrodFelagundPrinceoftheNoldor
I believe that implies that is is used in farming as well as being castrated, but I could be wrong.
Cthulhuonabike
Still dont understand how he managed to shoot her
mumblepop
Spite Cow 2020!
GipsieTailwynd
Surely, there is an ordinance regulating/prohibiting the use or manufacture of pipe bombs.
rowm
Imagine having the money to buy a cow JUST to piss someone off.
TehButternaut
Hopefully the neighbor doesnt get too upset and kill the spite cow with like a garden gnome.... dont need a knick knack paddy whack...
DreaminFree
I hate you..... Marry me
mt77932
It's a dad joke on a dad post. We've come full circle.
Stress707
Thank you Colin Mochire
TehButternaut
definitelynotawolf
KonaDarbles
Bravo
ThatSynGirl
What game is this from?
Tehsyr
FF14. From the character on the left who barely comes into frame, I'd wager from the Shadowbringers DLC.
streetfightingeasterbunny
mclyde
You are undervalued. No matter how valued you may be, it's not enough.
LiteralVampirePotBellyGoblins
squintish
Normally you'd be asked to show yourself out...but dang, that's a good one. Happy X-mas.
DrunkKingOfImgur
All I could think of was this
anvilon
YES!!!!!
pizzapartyhard
I was gonna post this, but I can at least upvote it, which is nice.
missgmoney
IIIII’M ALLLRIIIIIIIIGHT
DrMephistoFromSouthParkColorado
feel the ball.... be the ball.... nanananananana
BlackavarLion
At first I thought her dad was going to be bill murray.
ClassicWinchester
This is so white, just reading it raised my credit score.
ImgursLibertarian
Male dairy cows are used around here for locals to buy and raise, and slaughter themselves. you'll have like $400 into 800 lbs of beef...
ImgursLibertarian
so ~ $0.50/lb for ribeye and hamburger and everything... The steaks are just smaller, and SLIGHTLY less tender than beef cattle.
squintish
You can't eat spite cows, they're full of spite.
ImgursLibertarian
This dad doesn't live around here. We don't really have "neighbors". Just people who live down the road a spell.
hprosscraft
This is what I aspire to be like when I retire.
xFiDgetx
You aspire to be so fucking stupid you shoot your daughter in the eye?
buttcrackula
Everyone's so enamored with the spite cow they forgot that this guy shot his daughter in the fucking face.
buttcrackula
And she doesn't even seem to mind.
xFiDgetx
This legitimately infuriates me.
RickRolledLexLuthor
I mean, I don’t know about you guys, but a house would buy approximately ‘one fuck-ton’ of forgiveness from me.
schanzen
I'd allow someone to (non-lethally) shoot me in the face if it meant a home in my area. The medical bills would be cheaper. Seriously.
michagoose
Well they bought her a house to apologize.
DigiT00l
So why isn't the dad locked up? Either in prison or an asylum?
WarlockSniper
This man is too glorious to lock up, clearly. Like Gomez Addams.
DigiT00l
He shot his daugther in the face
FinrodFelagundPrinceoftheNoldor
Doesn't mean he goes to jail. Accidents do happen. Police aren't always called.
MrStealUrMeme
It wasnt attempted murder. It could have been a ricochet. A guy I knew got hit in the leg by his dads deer rifle bullet. Ricochet off rock
xFiDgetx
How is everyone so focused on the fucking cow? This imbecile shot his fucking daughter in the god damned face.
WarlockSniper
On accident, as the daughter herself said.
xFiDgetx
So?
WarlockSniper
On accident, as the daughter herself said.
FerrousBuehler
I knew a guy like this. Lived in a nice neighborhood with no real rules except unwritten one's. He painted his house a greenish color and
OrazioFantasia
ran around butt naked covered in olive oil (2/2)
poptartliz
Guy in Potsdam NY is at war with the village and decorates his property with toilets.
poptartliz
https://www.northcountrypublicradio.org/news/story/28915/20150713/potsdam-gets-a-new-toilet-garden
ramshackleackle
Seems an ass
Aimlockbelch
I saw that guy!!
sarcZen
I remember that guy! I've seen more than one toilet garden since then, I wonder if he popularized it :\
poptartliz
He owns a few properties I guess. Two I've seen.
stillalurkerdontmindme
Guy in my town owns a pawn shop with 3 gorilla statues in front, one pepto pink, one, grey and a lime green baby. Our last mayor tried 1
stillalurkerdontmindme
To take him on. Told him he needed to repaint the statues, did not go well. Ppl insisted it was a town landmark. Also he still has paint 2
stillalurkerdontmindme
Mayor gave in and said he could though up the gorillas with his existing paint. He had already bought lime green and pink go last awhile. 3
FerrousBuehler
It didn't 'fit in' with the neighborhood style and they harassed him for over a year. He got pissed off, painted it hot pink w/yellow stripe
kingboarder
Fuck these stories are epic
xXxshadowsneak
Same thing happened in my town, twice. There's a purple house, and a green one.
Muttons1337
The Go-Go bar near me was an "ugly color" and an "eye sore" according to local parents. Owner decided to paint it like a rainbow.
PsakiBombs
The city tried to close the strip club located just outside of my town. So the owner decided to paint it hot pink out of spite.
TheRealGeorgeMcfly
legend.
FerrousBuehler
It truly is an eyesore but it makes him happy.
swedishpancakeswithlingonberries
Had a guy in my town do similar, except it was Harley Davidson orange with black trim.
AK90
Who eats pancakes with lingon? Eeew
NachoPete
That sounds hideous! Good for him.
Leevalleyoftheshadowofdeath
My grandma repainted her house the original colour from 30 years ago and all the other people in the elderly community started harassing her
Leevalleyoftheshadowofdeath
Because all their paint was faded and hers looked drastically better, they kept trying to get her to repaint it a lighter shade, then an old
Leevalleyoftheshadowofdeath
German fellow did the same to his duplex but his neighbor refused so he painted exactly his half leaving the rest old and shitty.
UncleCeiling
I love it when townhouses and duplexes are only half painted. It's the best.
sirbart
Fantastic!
olba
Because of this people wouldn't allow their houses to be visible in google street view in Germany, just try do upkeeping ffs!
MalcomReynoldsWrap
Reminds me of that NASA engineer who spent a small fortune fighting his HOA over his mailbox color for 7 years.
buckbucker
Reminds me of killdozer.
TribuoAuGrimm
Kinda reminds me of mark rover on YouTube
SnossedAndLost
I'm curious if anyone has a source!
MalcomReynoldsWrap
Check the other replies; a few links have been posted. I remembered incorrectly on some details, but that's mainly the gist.
RogueMachinae
Studioseraphim
.
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Nutinbutbootson
We can only have 1 type of mailbox. A $500 black steel mailbox. Large neighborhood, and the land owner is the single member of the HOA.
friendsofsandwiches
They wanted 'bone white' with Silian Grail on that box?
ddashizzle
Check it out... It's bone...
MitchBeaucannon
Xedi22
This is why any realtor I use knows a house in a HOA has a value of $0 to me. (Well, unless I could instantly flip it for a profit...)
DreaminFree
Sadly in my area every neighborhood has an hoa. Though mine literally just meets once a year to complain about wanting a street light
Iwilltrytobenicer3
Right, you buy so many. @Xedi22
Xedi22
And your point is? It’s often cheaper than renting too.
ChaoticSquid
You got a source? Would love to read
sirbart
Ditto
Xedi22
Not that, but enjoy: https://www.reddit.com/r/fuckHOA
whereisthesleep
url too long to fit, shortened: https://wapo.st/2QhYnOg
SlightlyAnnoyedDwarf
HOAs are stupid as shit
ilhares
There are pros and cons. Mostly cons, but if it stops Barney from turning a nice clean plot into a salvage yard, I support'em. A little.
BullfrogStormcroak
If he owns the plot, it's his to do with as he pleases. Fuck anybody who tries to stop him.
TheMadOnion
I'd rather deal with a goddamn salvage yard. Than any fucking HOA. Why the fuck would I pay dues to have someone tell me how to live?
wazeewa
HOA communities are where Satan sends the souls that he can't deal with.
Nutinbutbootson
Our HOA consists of 1 man, the land owner. He is a well hated man.
amoeba15
It's the natural habitat for Karens.
wazeewa
I'm pretty sure its a by-law that there needs to be at least 1 Karen on the committee at all times.
DysgraphicProgrammer
Most HOAs are harmless. You only hear about the problems.
MalcomReynoldsWrap
I made damn sure to verify the HOA couldn't change laws before I moved. $50 a year optional fee; hasn't been collected in 2 years.
TheMadOnion
True but at the same time fuck em. One formed around our house once. Harassed us to join for years. Acted like we were part of it.