Penguinsshouldlegallybepeople
285386
11079
220
Jun 29, 2015 6:10 PM
Penguinsshouldlegallybepeople
285386
11079
220
jaypsychotic
as a garbage man #1 made me giggle.
wittyandcharmingnamenoonehasthoughtofyet
I wish there were more pick up lines for women. :(
PingazAndMash
Are you a fossil because i'm an impatient paleontologist. I want to date you badly!
NNomas
Do you know why they call me the Fireman? Cause I turn on the Hoes!
WolfMcCloud
These are good, I may have to use them.
Jeskasan
I ship you guys now.
Dzzz
Do you like fitness? How about fitness dick in your mouth?
DrizztLink
Are you an X-ray tech? Because I've got a bone you need to look at.
taerte
I demand more! I need them for my collection :D
Dxb105
Are you a fish tank? Because I'd tap that (given to me on a paper by a co worker at Canadian tire in high school by a girl)
heraphim
Is it just me or do the lines get dirtier and dirtier?
Pseudobran
You've met boys before right?
commandleech
Humor is the best way to tell the truth.
harleyquinn30
By one eyed monster, do you mean the cyclops? Because Odysseus killed that one. Apollo did slay a large snake, so maybe...?
Buttlord2424
Actually, Nobody killed Polyphemos. ;)
harleyquinn30
Ah, you're right! He just blinded him. My mistake. Thanks for the correction.
pdp1
Aspirin one should have been, "I want to swallow you every 4-6 hours"
FroggyFae
Is your ass a keg? 'cause I would tap that.
msommer
Are those space pants?
msommer
Because that ass is out of this world!
missunstoppable
Because everyone's been in them
cappuccinofrost
Are you a 200 pound tuna. Because you are a great catch
TotallyNotARapist
"Girl are you a fire alarm? Because you're really loud and fucking annoying"
Solahbrah
i think using the word herpe in a pickup line, even if it is referring to herpetology, is still a bit iffy
Malnoch
I don't remember Apollo slaying any one eyed monsters, Odysseus, yes, Apollo not to my recollection.
Rohirrim85
Came to upvote The Odessy.
ThisNameIsIronic
My personal favorite is "Are your parents retarded? Cuz you are special"
exe122
Mine is "Are you a washing machine? Cause I want to fill you with my dirty load"
SemicolonPowell
Girl are you a beaver? 'Cause dam.
TheCommentWoman
I must be a garbage collector, because I'd really like to grab your cans.
frankbarista
The Bromance are wayyyyyyy tooooooo strong with these teo
SuckinAtSomethingIsTheFirstStep
Upvote for this one cause of the spelling error
sirwakamayaman
I upvote you, because you upvote the spelling error
frankbarista
I'm sorry :(
revanisthesith
I assume you are referring to Manti Te'o and him 'falling in love' with a guy pretending to be a girl. Because that makes that typo awesome
frankbarista
I'm not that educated. Stop giving me too much credit. Lol jk idk what you're talking about but i will find out
revanisthesith
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manti_Te%27o#Girlfriend_hoax Definitely feel sorry for Te'o. But I will laugh at many things.
frankbarista
Oh shit. His story is not definitely not the only thing that sucks in this situation then hahahahah
RenommusZrev14
it's fine. they said no homo
kindofafluke
Brother noooooooo
frankbarista
Lube firsttttt!!!
themintypigeon
aaaaaaaahhhhh
ScienceIsntAboutWhyItsAboutWhyNot
Did you fall down from the sky? Because your face looks like a disaster
justtherightamountofchesthair
"because you look like a dead bird"
danlundy
Are you a prostitute? Because I have $35
minefq
Bahahahaha
Penguinsshouldlegallybepeople
I forgot one of my favorites: "Are you a farm animal taxidermist? Because you've made my cock stand"
Likeamamagoose
Dang that pro double dip +1
colonelraleigh
Are you being mauled by my attack dog? Because I want to call it off.
colonelraleigh
Oops, that belongs in the breakup thread below . . .
canadianpancakes
"We're both straight" sure OP....
DaniaAudax
Lady here. Where's some I could use for picking up guys?
smokerockpunchcops
Girl you must be the warp core of the starship enterprise because if you ever start acting up I'll dump you
UnprotectedSex
You know what the difference is between my couch and me? My couch pulls out.
marksman48
That's fantastic
GogglesGreek
Just fuck already.
strumfooligan
It's all that's left, really.
LeeroyTheBird
Nope, Chuck Testa!
nolubba1037
was gonna make a similar comment. respect. +1
SuckinAtSomethingIsTheFirstStep
Party foul OP. You can't just go adding extra content in a comment on the post.
Poopoopeepeevagina
We call that double dipping
allthenamesaregone
He knew exactly what he was doing.
MindTheBeard
YEAH I SAY THESE TO MY BRO TOO. I LAUGH, HE LAUGHS, HIS ARM KEEPS PUMPING, I KLASPOINGLE. WE BOTH SAY NO HOMO. BROS TO THE END.
BalmDeBono
CarpeNates
Is your ass in morse code? Cos I'd tap that. Get the message?
shaunc13
You should do one for break-up lines... Il do the first - "is there a ghost following you? Because I've been seeing people behind your back"
ahotpotato
I favorited this post for the replies that this comment spawned. Good show.
iamthemansheep
Are you an astronaut? Because I feel like giving you some space...
wubbapanda
We should make like two immiscible liquids and... separate.
colonelraleigh
Are you being mauled by my attack dog? Because I want to call it off.
unlickedoreo
You're like a dirty mirror because I can't see myself in you anymore
shaunc13
"Are you the finals seasons of Dexter? Because you're not as good as you used to be"
diregamer
Are you JKLMNOPQRST? Because U and I aren't together anymore.
superben
"Are we a pair of flabby arms? Because I don't think we're working out."
shaunc13
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
shaunc13
"This relationship is like 6 balls in cricket...over"
doihearanamen
As an American... um...
shaunc13
1 'over' in cricket is 6 balls. Then the bowling changes ends. A ball that's too wide of the wickets doesn't count as a ball. So 2 wides 1/2
MayorOfNopesville
You're like an 8 ball over, 2 wide(s)
shaunc13
DAMNNNNNNN
UnprotectedSex
"Did you grow up on a farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock"
Snailsnwhales
Girl, you know how I feel about you. It's like you're a fossil sample and I'm an impatient paleontologist, cause I want to date you badly.
PigPanCakesTasteIncredible
I have one like the Uranus one, "Can i be an Astronaut, cause i wanna land in Uranus"
ISarabi
Are you a dinosaur? 'Cause I want you to give me the bone.
Vesiroth
Watch a fiiiilm with me. I love boring romantic commmmmedies
unlickedoreo
Are they ever so good that you reconsider your sexuality?
NateintheNorth
the last one should end with "and it's coming for you!"
iamnotanigerianprince
Hey baby, are you a killer pickup line? Because you just made me reconsider my sexuality.
MsMax75
As a heterosexual woman they've made me reconsider mine.
arkidsencyclopedia
lol burn
chuckconqueso
"Wanna make $20?" worked on me once. 7.5/10 would do it again.
Penguinsshouldlegallybepeople
I'm married to a very beautiful lovely woman...so I plead the fifth.....
TurboStonr
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Nahxela
So, yes, yes you would.
HaveYouMetMyFriendTherapy
"You're a little married."
TerminatorSVT
easy, 4
TheForceRestrained
dern, was expecting bromosexuals
NonConformistFlamingo
That's a yes haha
TheRealFireFrenzy
Seekthebromance.badsong.mp3.gif.jpg.cdsa
THEbitchtits
...it's guy love that's all it is
highreacher
He's mine I'm his
ShadySchoolgirl
IT'S GUY LOVE BETWEEN TWO GUUUUYS
dyslexicuntied
Are you my derivative, because I want to lie tangent to your curves.
Lionskull
I want to touch you in one place only?
ToastyMozart
"I want to be integral to your life"
dabone69
Because I want to be the area under your curve
catsandrats
OMG I love it
Karatian
Are you calculus 2? Because I don't understand you and will probably give up on you but am currently banging you out on my desk
TheAnalystWasAlreadyTaken
Would you like to come back to my place and see the exponential growth of my natural log?
thecolonels
Can i take the integral of your pants? There is an area underneath i gotta see.
MaybeGrapes
YES
yerfdog1935
GG WP