tigerlilytoph
131533
2814
76
But come on.
May 5, 2018 6:49 PM
tigerlilytoph
131533
2814
76
But come on.
Sagerider
The first thing I would do is to figure out how I can use this to get laid.
khora
I would pet a tiger.
ihadtochangenickname
Bang Lois Lane, like he did in Jla
silverskeeter44
I'd rather be Bruce than batman
Rothgirfellhall
Probably my normal day because would you fucking risk getting shot or trying to fly?! Id be like I've proper cracked yo
itsACoppa
I'd go back to sleep and wake up as Goku
BigIrv5151
X-ray vision. Think about it.
pancreas
i don't think you know how x-rays work
Dudeitsonlyme
But Superman has X-ray vision
utgort
All those saying they want to be Batman are really saying they want to be Ben Affleck.
CryptFist
Be evil and destroy the planet
bomrr
Honestly I don’t really want Superman’s powers. I know of better ones.
PoeticStatic
I love Batman, but Supes can fly, and that right there wins over everything Batman.
fnordy
Clean Flint Michigan.
IRPAZ
ReleaseTheBeeees
Why is everyone going on about how rich Bruce is, like Superma couldn't be a rich as he wants
ThomsonI
I mean, really, if the Clark/Supes relationship was the same as Bats/Bruce, Superman could just live like a king off charity.
ThomsonI
"Can I get the $200 steak? Rare. I think stopping the planet from being destroyed again is enough payment."
xizar
Superman either gives his fuckbuddies cancer from radiation or makes their heads pop off. batman > superman.
Supermanisbetter
Superman could be as wealthy as he wanted to be. There are more ways than I can possibly list.
MikeReese9
Leave Earth. Y'all crazy.
bomrr
Where would you go? The Sun? That’s probably the only place you could see clearly, and know it’s close by.
BorkLocutus
Going Red Son ofc.
ThatDiceGuy
Why would you chose the commie one?
BorkLocutus
Because Nazis are boring.
ThatDiceGuy
But Superman isn't a Nazi?
BorkLocutus
If you put it that way...
TheVampireDante
Until Injustice.
rdydavis177
not even then
BorkLocutus
Believe me, i read Über.
xMrALX
Probably go to space and take a picture and show flat earth believers that the Earth is round.
khora
I would check out the moon.
ThomsonI
Find the most popular Youtubers advocating it. Get them to buy/build space suits and verify them on their channel. Have them livestream /1
ThomsonI
you flying them into space.
robingal1
If there's an alien from another planet on Earth, doesn't THAT disprove flat earthers?
astrielx
You mean exactly what NASA have done, and yet people still believe it's not round?
astrielx
People dismiss evidence that goes against their beliefs, no matter how correct and true it actually is. Cognitive dissonance is a thing.
SoPoSassquatch
...The keel of an aircraft carrier is in no way designed to take that kind of point load...
GreenLantern15
Nothing says it would stay in one piece once it's above your head.
barnwolf
Ya, and a family sized macaroni and cheese isn't designed to be eaten by a single person in one sitting, but that's never stopped me.
kamenhokage
Superman's strength when flying actually generates a telekinetic field over what he's touching, so it's like he lifts it all equally.
GuardsmanMiku
aka: bullshit handwavium because writers can't be bothered to basic physics
ThailandExpress
cantseeyou
Science mother fuckers.
ToCrushYourEnemiesSeeThemDrivenBeforeYouToHearTheLamentation
Batman vs. Superman should have ended with Batman up to his boots inside an elephants asshole, should that "fight" ever have been serious.
FeyLily
But that elephant would actually be a kryptonite powered mech suit in disguise. Because Batman - Batman fans
iburnstuff
In a fair fight with no prep, superman would win. In an underhanded fight with time to prepare, pizza places that deliver would win.
iburnstuff
Like they did during O.J. Simpson's car chase.
GregArmstrong
Leave.
ProbablyNotMegatron
Playboy billionaire philanthropist*
yeahwhatlinksaid
Full on a rapist
DeezDanglin
TryingNotToComment
Batman's the same without playboy
Mikeiller
That's the fun part though
LincLoud
In the current design. In the Christian Bale version they kept in the playboy, same with the Keaton Batman. The current Batman has ->
LincLoud
abandoned most of what made him so appealing. Now he's just gritty with a deep voice.
faceofpoopy
No no, you don't BECOME HIM, you just wake up and are him. If any of us were to wake up as batman we'd just be another ZUCK.
idonthaveanyideawhatthehelliamtalkingabout
What is the difference in becoming him or going to sleep and waking up as him ?
theoutdoorrageous
and you dont think super powers would allow for both as well?
enterusernamehere25
thats iron man
TheAngryMarineBiologist
Please, if you have Superman's abilities you can get or make as much money as you want
Himura82
You'd be an alien though and would be under heavy surveillance and feared by many/most people. Batman likely wouldn't have these problems.
TheAngryMarineBiologist
I mean, what does heavy surveillance achieve when you're superman in a world without kryptonite? As for feared, yeah, because the giant 1/?
TheAngryMarineBiologist
Insane bat-themed vigilante wouldn't scare the shit out of people in the real world as much as in comics 2/2
Himura82
Just don't put on the batsuit and you're still the world's best detective, know 20 languages, master of 127 forms of martial arts and rich..
Himura82
I just wouldn't want to be feared by everyone to the point where I can't live in peace anywhere. Flying would be awesome though no doubt.
jorynagel
*Unpopular opinion* Iron man > Batman.
namiasdf
Depends on how much you like emos.
TheLighthouseSavage
Not terribly unpopular since RDJ played him on screen. The Dark Knight trilogy still rules though.
kurama97
Ehhhhh
SoludisSnake
GreenYawgmoth
How is this unpopular? Everyone I know would choose iron man over batman for anything without hesitation.
Reigekiz
Why would someone choose be Billionaire plus Smart over be Billionaire and even Smarter??? Make no sense at all.
Reigekiz
Also Ignoring everything else about Bruce Wayne.
decadentmcgangbang
thecontractor
TheValxyrie
Any day buddy!
Berl101
Who said this was unpopular?? I'll fight them!!!
BatBruce
CaptainMcDope
Unpopular Opinion = Unreasonable downvotes regardless of meme
Horus175
When I was a kid I was all about Batman but between all the DC bombs and the MCU I realize Marvel comics just have better stories. (1)
Horus175
Most powered DC heroes have to have some stupid Achilles-heel weakness or there'd be no story. Marvel characters are better balanced. (end)
PandoBox
Well marvel have a good set of straight ultra powered char... Beyonder, LT, one above all, molecule man, so on...
Reigekiz
Yep... Seems like he don't knows a shit about Marvel or DC. how the fuck Hulk wa a balanced character on Planet Hulk and World War Hulk 1/2
ConfuMeister
Iron man isn't a playboy? I thought he was tied to that ginger woman.
theboy2100
Considering Justice League didn’t even break even. That’s a popular opinion. MARVEL > Deviant Art > child with a pencil > DC
Mizuha112
For the movies, at least. Dark knights metal is so fucking good.
InnovativePurgatory
Warning! (theboy2100) will spoil in-box office movies during conversation unrelated to the discussion without notice.
theboy2100
StopAskingMeForAnAccountImgurIWannaLurk
The Justice league shows were amazing. At least when I watched them way back when.
theboy2100
Oh how the mighty have fallen. The fact neither Timm or Dini are not involved in DC films says mountains to me.
GuardsmanMiku
iron man's a dick but atleast in the MCU he has some good character development which makes him more interesting than any batman i've seen
SirLucifer616
If I were Superman I would bring down an astroid fill with valuable metals and sell it over time. Or charge to move shit.
TongueTiedLabourerfromtheLandoftheLittlePeople
The "lots of money" idea is pretty limited.
shanharlmal
X-Ray vision. Can make diamonds any time he wants and has a completely unrecognizable alter ego somehow. But he can't give blood so...
Varimothras
Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist ninja pilot chemist martial artist detective.
thevortexmaster
I don’t know. Being superman imagine all the bugs you’d get in your mouth and face from flying everywhere
srs00
Yea just put on glasses though and no one will notice
dietderpsy
That's what the laser is for
TheSwedishCryptid
Him moving at super sonic speeds would destroy everything with the wind that he would cause when moving.
Lobuttomize
Just keep your lasers on the whole time
EpsilonBeSmallerZero
There is a book "silent summer", guess what it's title is referring to...
weshouldbesleeeping
Super man killing cicadas
Falos
not suprised, always with their fscking ZREEEEEET ZREETZREETzreet ZREEEEEET ZREETZREETzreet
NotaCop12345
But bugs don't fly at high altitudes...as long as you don't enjoy flying 10 feet over the everglades in summer, you should be alright.
iamacropduster
Yep
FancySharkDinnerParty
Superman is definitely more powerful, but he's so powerful that he's boring to me.
[deleted]
[deleted]
ElusiveBastar
Yet Wolverine and Deadpool are incredibly marketable. There can be more stakes than just dying. Spider-Man has those around him in trouble
GuardsmanMiku
as is wonderwoman. Still don't understand why that film was so popular. She also seems like a dick to boot
ullr52
DarkBadTheShameless
This has always been my biggest complaint about Superman. At a certain point, where’s the challenge?
Sqwuid
This is what happened to the Avengers movies till the latest one. "Why bother, we know they win."
Flyndaran
Batman is worse for me with how absurdly Mary Sue he is.
Switchlight
Watch the end of the new Justice League movie. This statement is too true
corbynDallas
If you're bored then you're boring
Funslinger99
He's just a hero for fun...
DetectiveSloth
They need a Superman movie written like One Punch Man.
Jhook12
Dues white bread thb.. Like.. Not even sour dough..
Falos
the super boyscout
Shoelebubba
Yeah but the real world applications of his power set are the question here. Unchecked power.
Bstone1
I’m reminded of the comic which author I can’t remember where she’s sipping wine on a pile of skulls after five minutes of superpowers.
The16thSockMonkey
Pigeon Gazette
Napathetik
Also his powers are fucking boring.
Farfulcougal
This
EndlessPastrami
If he's more powerful why does Batman always beat him?
pancreas
because batman is the biggest mary sue and his super power is super plot armor.
Mikeiller
the writers like to suck up to Batman more
newsguycraigevans
Supes winning is boring. He should win. Bats winning is the only compelling story.
acinonyxjubatus
Because he's Batman.
Rapiecage
plot convenience
ChancellorMatt
In the context of the dc universe he's really not hat strong
ChancellorMatt
*that
newsguycraigevans
Holy shit! Supes never wears a hat!
ChancellorMatt
yaknow what sure, thats his real weakness, put a hat on him and he's helpless
HD226868
Having uber-powerful heroes in a story is boring. Having uber-powerful heroes in real life would be a godsend.
Beepity
Literally
Mekeji
I think Overlord, Hellsing, OPM, Tanya, and others will show that can be very entertaining. You just have to make the character interesting
spookyjeff
Unless their name is Dr. Manhattan.
Un0riginalComment
I mean bill gates did more for advancing humanity then most people
guitarknight
Money is not a superpower.
Rapiecage
tell that to batman, iron man, black panther, doctor doom, sunspot, and I'm sure many more
ICOPPEDTHISHOUSE
Batman?
Gaiiiii
Yes cause that 1 person would enslave the world in the end, thinking his moral is correct for everyone :)
QuotesBecausePeopleDontTrustStrangers
Only in your mind does morality equate to enslavement. You're just projecting your fear in hopes of deterring people from gaining power.
ClaudeWicked
I'd probably just angst about how I can't figure out what to do to NOT be evil.
HD226868
Then that's not a 'hero'.
TheAmazingSpiderMan
This chain of comments basically just outlined the plot to Batman vs Superman.
Gaiiiii
I still have not seen the movie. Christian Bale is the only true batman for me :(
IAmNotASkeleton
Prepare for lectures about Kevin Conroy.
edgeofadhesion
I think this might be the plot of Injustice.
bestofallpossibleworlds
And Superman: Red Son.
JustSayingYouHaventSeenMeAndBatmanInTheSameRoomBefore
I've always preferred Batman, but if I were going to wake up with super powers I'd definitely take Superman over Batman.
newsguycraigevans
Damn straight
KanyeWesticularCancer
Honestly. And all powerful characters can be compelling like Dr. Manhattan but there’s nothing interesting about Superman.
LamentableLamp
Dr. Manhattan is by far my favourite super hero/god
ElusiveBastar
How so? Good writers have done great things with him. Superman is usually best when the comics focus on the Man rather than the Super
GuardsmanMiku
i have been convinced but a friend that the original superman stuff was good because it was about the social issues n stuff not fights
KanyeWesticularCancer
His character can be explained by him being sad that he’s too powerful and that he’s not human. By contrast Dr Manhattan is a man-
ElusiveBastar
Not really. Superman is not upset at being too powerful. He is upset he can’t do more maybe. Plus he goes up against a lot of powerful foes
KanyeWesticularCancer
Who became a god and began to lose touch with humanity because they are so beneath him, yet he still retains a bit of human fallibility.
KanyeWesticularCancer
Superman is a Boy Scout unless they make him arbitrarily evil.
ElusiveBastar
DC (comics) do a good job though of having threatening villains. Superman often goes up against people that destroy planets.
ElusiveBastar
Plus often the best stories of Superman are when he is challenge by something outside his powers. For example Kingdom Come.
GuardsmanMiku
but thats generally pretty dumb
ElusiveBastar
Yeah, hence COMIC book. They are best when exploring philosophies, ideology and more emotional engagement. Logic is not the core engagement.
ElusiveBastar
If that breaks your suspension of disbelief then some superheroes are not for you and that’s fine. But don’t discount them for ‘overpowered’
NyQuilDaydream
DC does a good job with their normal people that have awesome skills and terrible with beings that have superpowers.
ElusiveBastar
Maybe the movies but most other cases I don’t think so. Most of the league have powers and they all do pretty well content wise.
ElusiveBastar
Also besides the Batman family, Suicide Squad, and Green Arrow, who else is their normal but skilled heroes?
FancySharkDinnerParty
I feel like they have to make these absurdly powerful characters just so that their other absurdly powerful character can have a challenge.
ElusiveBastar
Probably true. That is the nature of all fiction though. Always a bigger fish. They are pretty consistent on everyone being badass though.
ElusiveBastar
Is the problem with Green Lantern he can create anything with his mind? Is Flash too fast? Does Batman have enough money for his toys?
FancySharkDinnerParty
GL is limited by imagination and willpower, Flash (while easily OP) only has the one main power, Batman is just a dude underneath the suit>
Femmyalexis
Superman is allergic to rocks
BryantTaylor
Batman is allergic to Martha.
DarkVagician
Batman's allergic to bullets...just like his parents
Seankr
motorwaffle
So are you if it's moving fast enough.
FaxCelestis
Batman can have sex without killing his partner with weaponized ejaculation.
TheAngryMarineBiologist
Fictional rocks that we have no indication become real in this scenario
8bitin4k
And scared of the dark
Kimurain
I'm pretty sure youre allergic to uranium 235.
floatationman
If k > 1, everybody is allergic.
Norok0311
Well I'm allergic to pollen, so yea I'll take that trade.
ChancellorMatt
Oh yeah and batmans weakness is...literally anything that can kill a human
yesiamcasey
It depends on how much setup time he has.
ChancellorMatt
"What you wanna fight superman? Okay just give me like three days to get ready, then I swear I'll be ready to throw down"
yesiamcasey
please, he has plan after plan ready for supes. https://imgur.com/v6fYHZ8
kablamworthy
Yea but it’s Batman, he’s a badass without superpowers
CassiusPolybius
That's all mental; it probably wouldn't transfer. Also, even if it did, Superman explicitly is clever and capable even without his powers.
TormentedPenguin
His superpower is organization.. how else does he get all the shit into his belt?
WorkerLurker
Timelord
Femmyalexis
Not glowy rocks
KhadaJhinFOUR
Yeah but rocks
Darkspire
Batman can also be killed by rocks.
XxVoidCowboyxX
to be fair Kryptonite is radioactive and would kill Batman too. So the fear of rocks goes both ways
ExplainTheJoke
You can kill normal people with rocks https://media.giphy.com/media/9WSSeuJAjYoaA/giphy.gif
gravityholdingyoudown
Yeah... but it's Batman.
KhadaJhinFOUR
See this guy knows
blairmichod
You're allergic to loads of rocks.
copingcabana
So are you if he throws a normal rock hard enough
faceofpoopy
Space rocks that nobody has access to
TacoPrime
Except Batman who would stop you if you wanted to do anything wrong.
Mikeiller
I'm pretty sure exposing batman to a radioactive rock wouldn't do him much good either
ICOPPEDTHISHOUSE
lol nobody
nothingnoteworthy
Except every villain he has faced
Zasep
And also batman
2TheGrave
Who just as often ends up supplying that rock to villains
Kylecornsfinger
A very specific kind of rock that doesn’t actually exist
IHateTheLotOfYou
Rocks that don't exist
Isthe4thtimethecharm
Not to mention superman has to have a day time job.
The5lacker
"Has to." Erm. No?
Isthe4thtimethecharm
But does for appearances.
The5lacker
Yeah. It's a hobby. If you woke up as him, you wouldn't have to. You could just be a super-dick.
Sqwuid
Superman is a Mary Sue who lives forever and gets to watch the planet die. Suffer you fuck, I want to brood like a real wizard.