Srajo101
152275
5923
66
May 4, 2021 1:40 PM
Srajo101
152275
5923
66
SweetFighter
My brother's drill sergeant was a 4'10 Filipino woman. Everyone was scared of her.
freshage
In basic, my Corporal was 5'5", I'm 6'2". His name was Sweet, Corporal Sweet. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
freshage
He would storm over and shout 'FORECAST!' if he wanted my attention, because 'you're tall enough to tell me the weather in Egypt'
NerfCommando
Friend of mine is 6'10", and literally had to kneel every time they lined up. He was 1st in his class, his reward was knee pads xD
DopeOrNotDope
Holy shit that’s dope
mrB3ND3R
Man, respect. Not only did they acknowledge their height, they used it as apart of their mental torture.
justsomeinternetperson
suburbanprospector
I love that movie so much
persondude27
"There is no racial bigotry here. Here you are all equally worthless."
FOBbitPoG
I don't miss basic, but damn my DIs had some of the funniest lines!! I wish I could remember some of them!
turdferguson74
I do. Three meals a day, PT every morning, shooting on the government dime... I pay to do those things now
Nova5269
It was like part of the training to become instructors was dedicated to being smart asses
Mewmus
"aint no DI gonna tell me what to do" why the fuck join the military if you're going to go in with that attitude? avoiding jail ?
Brettkeen
Should lean down and say in your most butlery voice that the his Lords elevator has arrived
Nova5269
That would not have went over well, no thank you
UrsaPsi
A short DS seems terrifying - they have a lifetime of little man syndrome to take out on you.
PanNonOpticon
Renamed Napoleon complex, and Napoleon was taller than average. And it's bunk anyway: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6501633.stm
UrsaPsi
I don't really believe short guys are aggro, but BBC news can hardly be used for a psychological source material.
NirvanaNik
"Ain't not lil drill sergeant"
aRootinaTootin
I still don't understand...
igetaroundroundroundround
Typo. Supposed to "Ain't no drill sergeant "
NirvanaNik
It's still wrong...
Gorapora
About half the DIs/Tis/whatever your branch calls it are comedians. A big part of basic is trying not to laugh.
Thresholdpush
Met a dude at the pub, asked him, "what are you, about 6'6"?" He said, "close, I'm 5'18 1/2".
Dionysus187
That fucker. I always tell people I'm 5'12
ThatsOneCozyBoi
Lol. I say 77” to mess with an inebriated stranger.
hankdogg
Damn near 6’6.6” - the height of the beast.
escudonbk
My favorite answer was "Like 6'8" in heels."
masteryoplait
Brilliant!
SwedeOnAnIsland
I don’t get it
freezeDriedBadger
12 inches in a foot. 18 inches = 1ft 6in. So he's saying he's 6ft 6.5in
EmmaReiki
Each foot is 12 inches in our dumb measurement system. 5'18" is 6'6"
uoeno
Jesus Christ that's a complicated way of measuring shit.
TreasonousCheeto
No one says 5’18”. Increments 12” and up are expressed in feet then inches. After 5’11” is 6’, not 5’12”. The person was making a joke.
OutsideNstuff
What's 1/3 of a yard? 1 foot. What's 1/3 of a meter? 33.3333333333333333333333333 centimeters.
itzJasonOP
I'm 6'4" and had a 5'4" DS at Benning. First time he chewed me out I couldn't help myself. Cracked a smile. Boy did I regret that...
Teasaurus
Hats off to whoever could/did put up with things like this, the military is not for me I can tell you that much.
blackholevoid10011
What about at gun point?
FriendlyNeighborhoodGrammarPerson
I got in trouble for smiling too much, I can tell you that much. Lol
Nova5269
It's certainly good to know what is and isn't for you. We had a couple of guys get admin discharged for failure to adapt.
UneventfulLover
Imagine the difference from the conscript army my country had. Most young men served, so it had to be possible for everyone to adapt. 1/2
UneventfulLover
2/2 I reckon any professional would have found it lax. Today we have just a small professional army.
PhilipJayFry92
Behind every Gruntstyle customer is a “I would have joined but: flat feet, colorblind & would have punched the DI in the face” story.
glittalogik
I'd never heard of them before but fucking hell that's some wall-to-wall cringe. I'll bet they're making bank though...
PhilipJayFry92
We usually call all those brands “Veteran Cosplay” ?
raycervan
Lol my Drill Sgt was super tall and I am short. One time while at attention he was no more two inches away from me while inspecting me. Pt1
raycervan
2. His belt buckle was nearly eye level. In a low voice he said “God Dam Private, if only you were two inches shorter!” I laughed,got smoked
HypnoJack
Honestly, this is how conversations between tall and short people should start.
adrianontherocks
Corpserations
I slipped a disc just looking at this
HypnoJack
Oh, my poor back!
RichardFenn
Fuck you! Bring a box of you want to talk to my face.
OmnipotentBeing
HypnoJack
ELEVATOR!
alphanius
DING!
igetaroundroundroundround
DING! THE ELEVATOR HAS ARRIVED!
MiraIsABear
I'm screaming elevator at everyone now.
awildcharmander
Tbh I kinda want someone to yell elevator at me now
MiraIsABear
Where are you? maybe we can make this happen! I'm only 5'2 so my options to yell elevator are pretty wide open!
awildcharmander
I'm in colorado, and I'm 6'6" so my options for people to yell elevator at me are also pretty wide open hahaha
MiraIsABear
I'm in Texas, but I will find your tall Coloradan ass and yell at you, it will be my life's mission.
Brockvegas
My husband is 6’8”; me barely 5’. I’m so gonna use this ??
indigodragons
The best part of having tall friends is that they are warm with all that body heat and help to stand in the way of the wind /s. I kid.
AikozuTigana
As a short person, yes. I go along with this.
Zefar
I swear they purposely pick the shortest people possible for drill instructors
TheCaptain00
Small, belligerent, and forceful is a powerful combination; works for badgers.
imnotanurse
teaches you respect
Igotfourbedrats
I didn't know Kevin Hart was a drill sergeant
ThailandExpress
Short DIs use this one trick
NoobsStfu
Beat your face
LegoStomper
HALF RIGHT
itzJasonOP
Happened to me. Pretty sure I have more tinnitus from that one ass chewing than any M240
FireSolvesProblems
I'd have trouble not laughing. I'd do as I was told, but I don't think I could ignore how funny it is.
ScrewMyVacationPlansIGuess
You learn real quick to keep your shit under wraps because otherwise you’re pushing earth. It helps when shit goes bad to keep your 1/2
ScrewMyVacationPlansIGuess
2/2 stupid monkey brain instincts under control so you don’t fight, flight, or freeze. Also so you don’t laugh at the CC during an all call
RevolutionOnHerLips
It's funny but you learn to hide it and laugh about it later or you eat shit for it
Rooster455
Had a 4'10" female drill instructor at Navy OCS. She was legit the scariest. Loudest voice and most terrifying presence.
buttcreambandit
“I didn’t join because I’d punch a DI in the face!!” Ya fuckin sure bud.
TheFishFace
Could well be a sign of good understanding of themselves and how they'd react.
heyRenitsStempy
Are you telling us you have zero self discipline?
ShaunDreclin
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quotation_mark
fleshygrowth
The joke went that'a way, pal
SouperScott
He literally put quotation marks in it.
buttcreambandit
I think that’s what those people who say that would be inferring yes
heyRenitsStempy
Ok bud have a great life the military isn't for all.
buttcreambandit
What
Flabort
He took you literally, as if you were the one saying it, not quoting it.
StrokeTheFurryWall
You OK there bud
jiynxed
I saw a short drill instructor tell a very tall recruit to stand in place while the DI got a stool to climb on to yell at the tall guy.
afterdarkart
My DS at Benning was like, 5'3 and at 6'3, scared the fucking SHIT out of me just by looking at me.
jiynxed
I'd been yelled at far scarier by better so they never intimidated me. My mistake was not looking scared anyways...
GodsFoot
The DS then opened his own sprocket company
Warmblood
My 12th grade English teacher did that once.
indigodragons
Lol short person power move lol
J0joTheIdiotCircusBoy
My DS refused to look up to a private. There was no way in hell he was going to use a stool. He made is all squat down to his height.
amishjosh
I'm shocked the DI didn't make the recruit get a stepstool for the DI to use.
jiynxed
Nah, the whole making them stand without moving for several minutes while they fetched a stool was both funnier and more intimidating.
jiynxed
It made it feel personal.
ShaggieBear
Was the DI taking the piss? Like clearly he must know that's pretty funny? Just to make these guys not react or what ?
J0765
I had one that would say “I bet you wanna see me in some pink bot pants”. It was extremely difficult not to laugh.
imaginaryPeppers
Just curious: how do the soldiers or the army benefit from this kind of training?
LieutenantGordon
Keeping a straight face is important for military bearing. Also, handling a stressful situation calmly.
fatman1683
It's to make you step back from your ego. Soldiers have more important things to protect than their own self-image.
erzengal
You need to learn to shut off your flight or fight and gain ability to focus on the task.
PedestrianElectrobastard
He's daring you to laugh at that point.
Rulan
It's military fun.
SisyphusLivinLife
I do not miss military fun haha.
syntaxxor
But do you miss...MANDO FUN!? REPORT TO BASE THEATRE AT 1640!
wereSOlittle
Is military fun like boys will be boys?
SisyphusLivinLife
Well as a Sailor myself I think that has a different meaning hahaha. But no, as in "mandatory fun" as in the FUN part is the joke because/1
neverborne
Military fun when YOU are the trainer is the best kind of fun
SisyphusLivinLife
I spent some time at my C School bullshitting with someone getting out of rotation from drilling. That is NOT an easy life to live and the
Mikeiller
DI do stuff like that alot. They WANT you to react. It gives them an excuse.
Hashbrown123
DIs are some of the funniest guys you will meet. We had one fat recruit that had to answer "Hey, hey, hey, sir" like Fat Albert when called
SomebodyThatIsntMe
if you laugh, you die
Fit2DERP
You raff you ruse
eebogur
Fuck-fuck games at their finest.
XRay0976
If he dies, he dies
Icanhearwhatyouresayingandtheanswerisno
Did he also mention his old friend Biggus Dickus?
TsunamiJohn
He has a wife, you know
LuftMeister
I would never survive the military. I would laugh instantly. Either that or get an aneurism from stifling laughter.
PeteThePerv
that lasts about a week. it comes back when there's a week left
LetumComplexo
You learn pretty quick. It’s only funny before you understand the consequences for laughing. Then it’s hilarious but you don’t show it.
HiMyNameIsKevinIHaveChangnesia
Drill instructors crack themselves & each other up all the damn time. Outside training random laughter isn’t a huge deal.
PicassoCT
The nonsense we did.
SomebodyThatIsntMe
i'd imagine it gets less funny after 100 push-ups
HorriblyPositive
It doesn't. Source: I did a lot of push ups.
JustARandomStrangerOnTheInternet
Nah, still funny.
TheSecondPiewackit
Oh they'll beat that out of you pretty quick.
LuftMeister
Oh I doubt it
DirtRockets
Go ahead and laugh. Try it. Get your head cut off with knife hands.
Luuseri
original you laugh you lose
syntaxxor
Yes, the idea to incite laughter, so they shit on all of you at once. They laugh about it with their buddies behind closed doors.
NefariousGoop
Can confirm, dad was a DI back in military and I heard some stories
harpti
My mom used to make me (6’4”) and my brother (6’9”) stand on the stairs and she would stand on the top stair to yell at us, lol.
indigodragons
? her: Je suis Napoleon!
jiynxed
He was of average height for the era. But because the measurements hadn't been standardized bin any way...
indigodragons
Wait hol up what was average height for that era?
jiynxed
Shorter than it is now. Nutrition makes us taller turns out. It's really obvious in asia as western diets have taken off.
harpti
Wasn’t it that combined with his guard all being big dudes that just made him look small?
Shaodyn
I know it's a major part of military life, but I don't think screaming at people for every minor infraction is a good way to motivate them.
AtsaMattaForMe
RanchoCucamonga
You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers, I will teach you
MaladaptedMedic
Bullshit, are you trying to squeeze an inch on me?
OmnipotentBeing
IReallyJustWannaStreamOnTwitch
Hell, I like you, you can comer over to my house and fuck my sister!
whydotheycometometodie
What’s you’re excuse!
baranovich
Sir? Excuse for what sir?
SomebodyThatIsntMe
FrolickingFrolicking
The camera shake omg
CarBENbased
I didn't have to turn sound on XD
SomebodyThatIsntMe
but why wouldn't you, it's a banger :-)
marsgoose
I'll teach y kids this is what rebel yell sounded like.
PsakiBombs
Reminds me of the 5' tall female TI I had in basic. She was way worse than our 6'4" super jacked male TI.
wizzid
Big dudes already know most people are afraid of them. Smaller people need to give you a reason.
GadenKerensky
Also, women cop enough shit as is in the military, female DIs/TIs have probably put up with some bullshit and smash it aside without mercy.
Gonnaderpya
We once pissed off our petty officer and he made us "watch cartoons on Saturday morning." Which was doing planks for an hour and reaching 1
Gonnaderpya
Up every now and then to change the channel because the commercials came on. 2/2
GrayHogan
We had a z company Commander called the rain man. He literally made it rain indoors because of the sweat and condensation
mikeluscher159
... more reasonable than when people call me Rain Man ?♂️
baronnapalm
Who wants ice Cream? Uhh, I guess I do Sgt. "GOOD! I FUCKING LOVE ICE CREAM." 8 km one way ruck march in full gear to the ice cream place.
UsernameKelli
That ice cream tasted fucking amazing!!!
wizzid
Was it good cartoons at least?
Gonnaderpya
Sure were! MLP and barbies adventures!
StealThisRepost
Had a tiny bulldog of a TI who would flip out this collapsible step ladder.
[deleted]
[deleted]
StealThisRepost
I mean, yeah. Accruate.
SomebodyThatIsntMe
Septcanmat
Lagunitas707
Well, now I have to watch that movie for the millionth time
ImAllergicToCatsAndIMustPspsps
"Why did you assemble that weapon so quickly?!"
steviEa
Didn’t someone in the military give this response and apparently it was a horrible answer. Although, now I think there is no right answer
agburanar
Correct, because then the DS could chew you out for being willing to follow an illegal order. There is no winning play.
ITradeNewds
Thats the thing with DS... there usually isn't a right answer
Saigon333
That’s the idea. It’s really a test to see how well you function in the face of constantly demoralizing shit.
Saigon333
Which is like... 90% of war. Just shit sucking, for no real reason.
Scuttlebutte
its impossible to not read this in their voices for me
Jennnanigans
One of the best parts of that movie - him yelling GUUUUUUUMP as he heads down the line.
Iwontbeback
how could you not include: "THATS THE MOST OUTSTANDING ANSWER I'VE EVER HEARD!"
Sombike
What movie is this?
type1eagle
Forrest Gump starring Tom Hanks
LunarEntropy
Big
SomebodyThatIsntMe
Kilmisterns
Forest Gump
PMmeYourFeetLadies
Slappy's Butt Barn
petrolhead1987
Deadliest catch with BubbaGump shrimp.
NicodemusArch
Forest Gump... also, holy shit, really?
Sombike
No, not really ... was a bit of Darude - Sandstorm type of thing ... sry
HyleMudd
Don't be sorry, that shit was funny. I laughed
J0joTheIdiotCircusBoy
I had a short DS that looked like a miniature Sergeant Slaughter. He refused to look up to a private, so we had to squat at parade rest.
FlashyBeige
So for anyone with military exp., how would an answer/attitude like this actually be treated by a DS?
CoyoteWill
Until your last week of training, no answer is the right answer. If a DS is asking you an open ended question, he's already messing with you
agburanar
If they're in the mood to punish somebody, they'd probably ask "ANNNNYTHING?", and then if you say yes you're wrong 1/2
FlashyBeige
I suppose my knee jerk response of "Well, it depends if they're being a capricious asshole or not." Probably wouldn't go over very well.
agburanar
because you'd be willing to follow illegal orders, and if you say no you're wrong because you're an E-1 arguing with an E-6 2/2
FlissFloss86Gaming
I love when he finishes assembling his weapon, yells done, and you can hear "GUUUUMMP!" In the background as the DS comes up
XeArg
Dondarian
That little detail always makes me laugh so hard. I live for those off screen gags
SomebodyThatIsntMe
"GUUUUMMP! WHY DID YOU PUT THAT WEAPON TOGETHER SO QUICKLY GUMP?" "...You told me to Drill Sergeant"
FlissFloss86Gaming
"Jesus H. Christ. This has to be a new company record!"
SomebodyThatIsntMe
"YOU ARE GONNA BE A GENERAL SOMEDAY GUMP"
Override9636
I love the subtle jab that Gump was found to be mentally deficient his whole life, but was absolutely perfect for the army...
alienrobotzombiebear
NOW DISASSEMBLE YOUR WEAPON AND CONTINUE!
BuroneLP
The DS’s love for Gump is a commentary on how a low IQ but hard working rule follower makes a perfect soldier
malkavian3str
In reallity a lot of the guys in project 100000 that ended in the infantry did not do well,because they made mistakes with grendades
malkavian3str
and guns, and not paying attentions on patrol and such. So this really sanitizes McNamaras fucked policies.