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Mar 17, 2018 7:59 AM
wickedapple
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itxtalone
So pride is playing Spore ?
happytreeleaf
I’m going to go with Emily here.
LucifertheRagdoll
3rd time ive seen this
yaddiex3
Isn't that part of the LDS Canon? That eventually one gets to be a god? Ruling over ones own world?
goingtochipotlewitharistotle
All of these heavens are depressing... being stuck in one repetitive, superficial eternity? no thanks. I choose life & its ups and downs.
MoreAshyThanLarry
This is a pretty fucked up heaven. What about one where I take care of puppies and they adore me?
Ryanator50
yeah there needs to be rooms beyond the self indulgence.
ISpyNippleOr2
Can I choose to switch between Heavens?
ItsCalledPopWhereImFrom
Sad it ignores that you can have love without lust, wealth without greed and so on. Sins are self-fulfillment over the well-being of others
Ryanator50
yeah, heaven shouldn't entirely be based on rewarding sins.
breeyag
I expected the last one to be just a home with his deceased dog, which he'd pick in a heartbeat. And all the others were just a test.
Ryanator50
yeah where's dog heaven?
breeyag
I don't know, but that would be one of my first questions if I got to heaven and he wasn't there.
Ryanator50
yeah, my dog Haus def needs to be there or else I'll start a divine riot.
Theauthenticdonaldtrump
Of all of these, I found each one not a sin in the right context. Lust for my wife is fine. Sloth on vacation, etc. So the msg is moderate?
DisneyMoreDisney
sexual desire is not lust. relaxation is not sloth. Enjoying a full meal is not gluttony. Being happy with one's accomplishments isn't pride
Ryanator50
maybe some people see it that way. like Catholics. I hear those guys are guilty about every thing that makes them happy.
andthedicestoppedrolling
I'm not Catholic but I went to a Catholic school all the way until college. They are not like that at all
iluvbunbuns
It becomes a sin when that act comes between you and Gods relati
iluvbunbuns
2nd Try:Becomes a sin when the act comes in between you & Gods relationship.If the act is not Gods will for you,then u shouldn't be doin it.
Shohanna
What "God" are you speaking of? The one I know about wants us to CHOOSE.. Free will all that stuff. IFnofreewill then why kids die of cancer
darkninja2992
I don't think i would ever be happy with jisr being sruck in one of these. Rather, i'd prefer to be free to travel between them
SexualConsent
Yeah, exactly. Lust would be great for the first little while, but then it'd get boring. Same with the others.
goumich
Need the “park hopper” ticket. Costs more, but trust me- worth it
DigitalPup
Wouldn't that just be greed? I don't think avarice should apply to only money or materials... you can always want more of something.
FutureHylian
Greed is the best bet. You could do anything you would want to do in the reality we know. Its the Jack of all trades.
darkninja2992
That's kind of what i thought, though i wouldn't really want a big mansion or anything. And i'd still miss out because i have a LOT of >
darkninja2992
FutureHylian
Yea true. Im the same way. But id rather jerk off to a fantasy than get bored of living that fantasy in the first week out of an eternity.
AngrySpaceStarfish
My thoughts exactly
cfcannon
That's how you know the "there's no hell part" was a lie.
axlerage
Awesome story
Lesurous
"I'm gonna build my own world with blackjack and hookers."
Psymecoleesis
zoomer296
God: "But that's what I did."
Lesurous
"And then you flooded the world and let incest repopulate it."
Domehammer
Wait... wouldn't that mean black people and asians have gills?
Relgap
I've seen this reposted at least five times within the last month. Please stop.
Ryanator50
well fuck off. I'm on here all day every day, This is my first time seeing it, and I really enjoyed it.
habino
the wrath one in heaven sounds beyond disturbing lol
MynameISDank
So basically he outright stole right from Dante's 'Inferno' and passed it as his own? ok. good to know.
Ryanator50
but I figure he flipped it. like instead of shitty stuff its fun stuff... although that Greed one is sort of an interesting punishment 1/2
Ryanator50
if you think about it. Because if all the greedy people have infinite stuff, no one has more or less than anyone else. So BCWYWF 2/2
Solkanarmy
yeah, I don't get it, I thought the moral would be that pride is selected by people who hold on strongly to the concept of deadly sins
Ryanator50
it doesn't have to have a moral. it's a fantasy version of the afterlife. Maybe that's the moral, if you really need one. We don't know 1/2
Ryanator50
what's up there, or on the other side, so just try to relax and be good to people now, but don't hate on gays and stuff. 2/2
A2DY79
It was only ever a vehicle for the writer to jerk himself off, like that comic where the guy gives the alien some answer that saves humanity
FutureHylian
"Because as we all know readers, I would be the first person in the history of existence to choose pride. Why? Cause im mildly stubborn"
GulcasaOfTheSnowfall
Curse you and your vaguely antagonistic tendencies!
beefpelican
Yeah, if you see that there's no punishment in heaven, but still choose nothingness so you can feel superior, that's the reward for pride.
trumpypumpyinyourrumpy
Ok. Now create a universe without mosquitoes
sisterofthemoon
What is their purpose anyway? They hurt and suck our blood
Okebel
Tragically, i've learned that mosquitoes are the prime pollinators of cocoa trees. No mosquitoes means no chocolate. :(
Magicflutefreddie
or spiders.
mattsall
And a few million years later he said "f*** 'em" and dropped in a few nukes
michaelpaice2
You make it sound like Civ II
SavageHonesty
Calm down there, Ghandi.
Aaron42J
This is good writing, but I disagree fundamentally with its concept of sin and what heaven is. And what God wants from people.
Ryanator50
yeah, I'm sure the actual rapists and murderers wouldn't be allowed in. They're probably just... poof.
PraiseDickbuttLordAndSaviorOfUsersub
How does building a world fit into being prideful? Genuinely asking here.
UrsaPsi
Having a literal god complex?
iKon2000
Take pride in your work?
DisneyMoreDisney
That's not the same as the sin of Pride though
Scientist99
Actually, if you want to be philosophical and play the devil's advocate, it can be quite the sin if you take too much pride in your work.
Scientist99
A person can be so prideful in their work they'll be blinded by said pride, causing them to stop vs. looking deeper.
zhiana
Weren’t men created in God’s image? That’s kinda prideful (narcissistic?). Millions of people who look like you & do what you command
FieryWitherRose
Thats the point
zhiana
I know, but other people didn’t seem to get it
50centromere
"In God's image" does not quite mean "like God" but rather "as God had imagined" (i.e. like the image in God's mind). Source: Cath. RE
andthedicestoppedrolling
I have also heard it taught as meaning we are sapient, have personalities, and share the same emotional structure as God
NuclearMonk
Fjords. It's all about the fjords.
Nepoleanblownapart
You must be pining...
AtorTheInvincible
Underrated comment.
malakim
Maybe next time we could give Afrika some fjords.
thezblah
Won an award for that little bit you call Norway.
legofham
Douglas Adams?
manicmalki
It's your world your creation, rules, freedom and absolute control or lack of it. Either way your will dominates all. That pride and greed.
SkyeKey
“I made this”- proud mama otter holding her newborn
nosoupforoldmen
The pride of accomplishment?
Sarpedan
so sure of your talent that you have zero fear of doing a better job than God?
pgaulrapp
Have you read the bible? God is a pretty smug dude.
CesaBUTTERFLY12
I think it gives you something to be proud of. Like, "I made dis"
2ndAsylum
Ever heard the phrase "the world revolves around you" The world would've been made by him, god is the pinnacle which means nothing is better
baronluke
Most artists would understand having a piece of art feeling endless pride as long as it was perfect. This would be the greatest artwork.
thezblah
Being supremely proud of what you made.
ASlightFlawInMyCharacter
Traditionally, Pride is considered Lucifer's sin - considering himself equal to God. Hence pride = godhood here.
ComicSansHumor
"Think you can do better than the gods?" Is a great answer, but more personally I think I'm the biggest fan of every story I've ever written
GuerrillaChicken
Being proud of what one has built... Your asking how one might be proud of what one has built. Is that your question?
Ryanator50
well, as an artist and writer, I take great pride in the stories I weave, even if no one sees them. I get it... but lust still sounds best.
RealWhatshisface
We often take pride in what we do ourselves
50centromere
When you create something great, you can be proud of your work. What work is greater than building a complete universe?
duckalet
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, first you must create the universe. - One cosmic boi
The701
Two complete universes at the same time, man.
audioknob
Bills mom let him have two wieners... So there's that
VultureTX
whoopee! CTRL-C & CTRL-V , not that hard.
FeChefImgur
You know those universes that are like, double universes ?!
Salazaar
If I had a million dollars I could probably hook that up...
dietz19459
A very cunning ploy...
Tchyrimi
Oh god, double universe, man. What does it mean?
Raileks
https://media1.tenor.com/images/ff5f0b60f5e1e822d8662ed738a18def/tenor.gif?itemid=7996338
NotABench
It’s a double universe... all the wayy...
50centromere
Holy cow!
valen00
Tbf if you start with all knowing and all powerful and compassionate as your starting points this universe is c- at best, bone cancer?
valen00
If you accept limitations on God then it's ok
ImNotTaylorSwift
What limitations? He's omnipotent, no? Or are you saying that God could microwave a burrito so hot even he himself could not hold it?
valen00
God could jebus couldn't.
cfcannon
Yeah. Omniscient and omnipotent sure but also compassionate? Nah. If there was a god behind our universe then we should be sided against it.
Ryanator50
the way I and my fellow Pagan Heretics see it, there are several gods, and the pain in our world comes from their disagreements.
ImNotTaylorSwift
C-? That's one hell of a grading curve. Racism? Genocide? Hunger? Abuse? Income inequality? America's healthcare? Epic fail, God.
SunBrolem
I agree, this 'free will' shit was a bad idea.
valen00
Free will cannot exist with an all knowing God if he doesn't know what you would do he isn't all knowing
cfgrs
Because in none of the others would you do anything that you could take pride in. Here, there can be pride in your creation.
Ryanator50
I dunno, I take great pride in making someone cum.
cfgrs
But can you really take pride in it if the whole universe is simply designed to feed your ego in that respect?
Ryanator50
hmmm maybe
DickPicEnthusiast
Hello, friend!
Ryanator50
lol hi. I hope you're agreeing with me, and not seeking to help boost my ego, as I'm taken.
JrElmoe
Fits pretty perfectly in this instance actually. It can be interpreted in several ways.
JrElmoe
For one, God is actually very prideful himself. Denoting absolute obedience and respect. Perfection and righteousness is his definition.
JrElmoe
Another would be, choosing the house of pride would mean you, yourself, have more pride than to submit to your desires.
RedTree6767
Good made the world in his own image
NateintheNorth
What about evil?
RedTree6767
I'm not saying that's what I believe, but it could be interpreted as prideful
NateintheNorth
(that was a joke, cuz it said "good")
RedTree6767
Oh. Poo
frogjg2003
The Old Testament constantly reminds the Jews that He is a proud and jealous God. That is why He is to be worshipped.
DickPicEnthusiast
Is there a difference between worship and appeasement? I mean, there should be, in principle, but would God care?
50centromere
It's like the thing with "respect". Many people don't want to be "respected" - they want to be feared. They just think that's respect.
DickPicEnthusiast
Because with people, it's ultimately about power. But would an omnipotent being care? Or an omniscient being be fooled by appeasement?
50centromere
These are actually some very interesting questions you are posing there. I'd think that an omnipotent god would not care for worship and
Ryanator50
why would someone worship a jealous god? oh right the fear of hell. got it. (sarcasm)
andthedicestoppedrolling
According to the NT, the Church is the bride of Christ. God gets jealous when his bride cheats on him. That kind of jealousy
Ryanator50
well, glad Cernunnos doesn't get jealous
frogjg2003
Jews don't believe in hell. God's punishments happen during life.
fearandloathinginaz
Coming from an atheist- that comment was uncalled for. He was quoting the bible very accurately.
Ryanator50
well still, if it's in the book, that should be a big red flag.
fearandloathinginaz
A small one out of thousands. Read the bible some time- it will shock you.
LokiShinigami
Because thinking of oneself as a god is the ultimate sin of pride, better than everyone else. So you want your own world to worship you.
haroldstickyhand
But... but... what if he is God?
schlechtzehn
As a former Mormon, I find it fascinating that the Mormon endgame is to all become Gods ourselves.
dandelionwino
I find it infinitely disturbing.
davemymindisgoingicanfeelit
That just sounds like slavery with extra steps...
DooksandPooks
If I was given the ability to design a universe, there would be a lot more aliens and it would look a lot like Space Dandy anime.
Orzbek
If I could make a universe, I'd just remake the current one. It would be like having the best movie tickets in existence.
TJCoppola
Boobies baby!
Domehammer
I would have humans only but put them all across galaxy to screw with atheists.
Shohanna
LOL I laughed at that! +1
djm1000
In Christianity Lucifer is booted from heaven due to pride. He wanted to be God. He then becomes Satan.
LokiShinigami
Wrong. God wanted the angels to love humans as equals. Lucifer saw our flaws and said he would not love something so terrible.
TheTrekkieWhovian
That is not correct. He did not want to be god.. Who told you these things?
Sigilstone17
No where in the Bible does that happen. You're thinking of The Divine Comedy
80percentlegs
Or Paradise Lost
JaffSmath
Yeah. Also in the Divine Comedy, Satan doesn't rule hell, he's trapped in the 9th circle being tortured like everyone else there.
minant
It's possible this is a confusion between The Divine Comedy (Dante) and Lucifer: The Divine Comedy (Gaiman).
cslewisck
Ezekiel 28:13-19 and Isaiah 14:5-24. The context is that the Lord is taunting Israel’s enemies by analogizing their eventual defeat to the
Grudgebearingmidget
To the what? TO THE WHAT!?
cslewisck
Defeat of Sheol (Hell) and one who was in Eden.This pretty directly implies application to Satan, although it does not say his name directly
ManyManyMothers
So maybe in this story hell does exist...but Satan is so prideful he tried to make it superior to God's heaven, proving he's better than G!
Orzbek
"I'm going to go make my OWN Earth! With hookers 'n blackjack!" And thus, with his guidance, hookers and blackjack were made.
Chewbaccabra
Yup dudes in hell ☹
g3istbot
This would have had made the story go from 7/10 to 10/10
TheTrekkieWhovian
As a priest I agree with this statement.
AwesomeEpicGreenApples
WOLOLOLOLOL
PolarHailStorm
If he had replied to any of the comments with that statement I would have fucking laughed for days.
DreadPierateRoberts
A nerdy priest! You probably wouldn't have told me d&d and fantasy novels were evil and had me laughing my way out of church on a sunday
TheTrekkieWhovian
So long as Paladins are your go to I approve DnD
VigorousButtstuff
Which footprints were yours, the hand prints, the knee prints, or the footprints behind those?
LokiShinigami
Poltergeist94
I get the reference but maaaaybe don't say that to a priest without context
TheTrekkieWhovian
Indeed, I'm very confused.
ItsGreekToMe
Are you a young priest or an old priest?
TheTrekkieWhovian
A young priest. getting to be just a priest (I turn 27 next month)
HappyEngineer
Level 23, with tons of spells
Tzanax
My day just got tons better, thanks mate
HermausMora
lv 32
imnotgoodatdecidingthesetypesofthings
Are you a hot priest?
TheTrekkieWhovian
My Selfie made it to Front Page on Christmas.. Does that count?
sdakfsdfkjh
All the kids love him.
thebinoralbstandsforbrush
and he loves all the kids
TheOnionKnight
Hole. Lee. Shit. This was a great read.
WarriorFox
Why'd you get downvoted? I'll give a plus one so you're not negative
JerkStoreCalling
That was nice of you.
bichaelarokoo16350
I still would have picked lust
therobisaur
God is arrogant, wants to create, wants to be worshiped. Makes sense. Deep.
sisterofthemoon
I don’t think the true creator of all things wants worship. There were many gods at one time.
TheEmperorOfMankind40000
Fuck yeah I would take pride. I would make a pretty grim-dark universe too.
rooik14
I'd honestly be more terrified of the deadline to get things set in motion. I'd be so spoiled for choice.
Ryanator50
lol that sounds like a waste of an opportunity. why make a universe if you're just gonna make it shitty?
TheEmperorOfMankind40000
Look up the lore on warhammer 40k.
Ryanator50
I did. I hate Warhammer with a burning passion.
cfcannon
You did and now you live in it. A world where life is based on killing other life & you have a short time before death comes for you too.
TheEmperorOfMankind40000
Look. I'll enjoy my chair while I can. Cause trust me. I probably have a good 40 years till I develop any plot involving killing myself.
theyar
So edgy. I bet you're goth.
Rhulain
Honestly I'd pick greed.
Ryanator50
but that one sorta has a double edged sword to it. If everyone has infinite stuff, no one has more or less than the other.
reallysleepypasta
I mean, greed is just wanting an excess of stuff. If it bothers you that other people have more, that becomes envy.
Ryanator50
that's true. Envy Pride and Greed always confuse me.
sirmixanaverageamount
I don't want to see sex offender heaven... Or animal cruelty heaven
Ryanator50
maybe the actual evil people just... poof.
Sekolah
I know what's in my wrath heaven,people who hurt dogs
SilentHowling
wrath heaven seems like there would be all manner animal abuse. and lust heavn would cover all manner of sexaul taboos.
sirmixanaverageamount
If the wrath area is where people punish their enemies, isn't that hell for their enemies?
KanyeWesticularCancer
So basically how Mormons believe in heaven? Can confirm kinda I was Mormon.
Ryanator50
I remember some muslim classmates discussing their heaven. "Why is Paradise full of fountains of wine, if wine is (Sinful)?" I laughed.
UniqueManchild
Just what I was thinking. But wouldn't you have your celestial partner with you?
KanyeWesticularCancer
For awhile but if you’re in the celestial layer of heaven eventually you become your own god.
LadiesInboxMeYourInsecurities
Being raised mormon all the mormons I know believe God still has his Celestial partner. That's the whole point of sealing.
sykoticflaw
Man, Mormons are wild, aren't they? I still feel like I'm learning more and more about what they believe.
UniqueManchild
Yeah, I have a lot of respect for them, as crazy as their theology sounds. I guess when you start to dissect all religions they are crazy.
sykoticflaw
That is a fair enough point lol
dontsayretarded0itsgay
Don't they all get their own planet?
LadiesInboxMeYourInsecurities
No the ones that followed the 'rules' perfectly would become Gods in their own right. In their belief God isn't even necessarily the only...
LadiesInboxMeYourInsecurities
God there is or that we're the only universe. We're just his. Additionally they believe he went through the same thing we are now.
IBuiltAFreakingArk
Sin was never happiness
pterodactylptime
You've never been in a 19-way.
HEdblHockeysticks
I love it, but a choice only based on the sins? Where would the pious and devout choose I wonder.
Ryanator50
Pride probably. I'm not a christian but I see the 7 Sins as a paradox. if you can be free of all 7, you're not human.
andthedicestoppedrolling
The point of the 7 sins (which are Catholic concepts, not canon) is that they are the result of corrupted morals or virutes
cfcannon
When one shows up they'll deal with them. Hasn't been a problem yet.
DorianBlack
In the Christian context not possible. All are born w/sin n do so in life even if marginal compared to others. Think u dont=pride room lol
Shohanna
But Since Jesus was to have supposed to die for our Sins, doesn't that cancel them out and we are able to choose where to go instead?
DorianBlack
No. Jesus dies for our sins so that we dont have to focus on pennance n are emancipated to focus on caring for fellow man. (1/2)
DorianBlack
That is the idea anyway...
Domehammer
The 7 virtues probably have there own heavens.
HEdblHockeysticks
Reading it through again, as well as reading quite a few of the comments, has me thinking of my own concepts of the afterlife. (Cont)
HEdblHockeysticks
With death, the energy which is ‘us’ continues... reincarnation is a choice, becoming something else, another chance for experiences(cont)
HEdblHockeysticks
choices, things to learn and become. Time is meaningless in this state, coming back before a previous life is not only possible, but (cont)
HEdblHockeysticks
Could be what leads to deja vu, other worldly knowing of coming events. We are the universe personified, it’s chance to learn of itself.
Ryanator50
Same. there's a Hindu belief that all life shares one soul, that loops back on itself through time. I was you, or I will be you 1/2
warshaz4
but whats in the box???
PompatusOfLove
asithlord
Her head
Cornstore
Samerious
House !
HelpNeededIHave
iluvbunbuns
zoomer296
"Surprise!"
[deleted]
[deleted]
Yaythoven
Frosted flakes nigga damn
CaptainDeadpool
A dick
onlyinorange
Step onnneee
MyNipplesLookLikeMilkDuds
VAham
manslut
It IS heaven!!!