herrniemand
175765
7568
134
(Spoiler: Animals win)
"Everybody back off, she's mine"
Bowties are cool
MFW I'm standing around at the fair playing with my cock.
Dominance established
Black and white love
Cat tax:
Wow, front page again. Allow me to share my secret formula: Ten funny/interesting/satisfying 10 to 15-second gifs on a common theme, and the last one has to be a cat. There's nothing hidden below a jump, but you still take a minute or two out of peoples lives that they'll never get back, so by the time they reach the bottom they feel like you've earned their upvote (plus the last thing they saw was a cat). Seriously, this is the fourth time in a row this has worked for me, and it feels Glorious. :)
jerryscool
Lodi grope festival
INDIG0M0NKEY
Thank you for following through with this album @OP. Cya on the front page
IneegoMontoya
#7... they both one.... everyone loves doggy kisses
MagicalPoppy
*won, Mr. President.
DiscoPoodle
"Is that a bowtie?...shit look stupid, man take it off" Ostrich Probably
denverwagnr
That was stupid, *everybody* knows ostriches hate bowties.
TheTipTopTopHat
No wonder he was scared of that big, black cock.
TheAncientSea
"If pelican attacks, present your ass and let it have its way" - bad survival book
Qumefox
With it doing that, i'd rather be sticking my ass at it rather than my balls.
Cela84
I was way too anxious about the baboon gif.
Pieala
Good plan to stick to 10 gifs, I hardly ever take the jump.
usersubbordercontrol
The monkey was showing teeth. Means it's scared/angry. Might attack. Right?
AGroupOfPugsIsCalledAGrumble
This is the type of content that keeps me coming back to this website. +1
gondring
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7HTlCretc0
R0GERtheSHRUBBER
Whenever I see someone wearing a bow tie on a non-formal occasion I attack them the same way.
AdolfMotherfuckingHitlerUnderscore69
R0GERtheSHRUBBER
No exceptions.
AdolfMotherfuckingHitlerUnderscore69
R0GERtheSHRUBBER
PunnyTiger
+1 for the final one; i used to have a silver cat that did that.
notbrian01
*camel descends*
ChainsawHandsJoe
Hey... There... Noticed you were... Here...
Davicron
Props to that last lady, man. Any time one of my cats does that to me I make a noise similar to a little girl stepping on a lego.
helloalice
I taught my cat to jump into my arms when I get home. If I forget, he jumps anyway. I regret that sometimes. Ow.
OmnibusLatinName
That cat has a home now, I bet :)
Kozoku808
I thought everyone made the same noise when stepping on a lego.
barbarianbryan
Man that pelican hated that guys butt
lynnefhyn
"and i have her boob"
prattleassassin
You couldn't get me to stand in the same zipcode as a baboon. fuckers are terrifying
BUFORDTinJUSTICE
dude.....fuck pelicans
idej
phrasing!
Aelinsaar
OP responding to requests like the hero that he is!
Slackajawaya
The fuck did that cat come from...
JackVanFrost
Literally every day when you have multiple cats^
MicentennialBan
Lodi grope festival
BoxOfChunkyPuffs
Oops thought I was the first lol
UncleMeaty
"Lodi rape festival" would have also been acceptable.
Akreyeiu
Yeah! Any clue what year it was? I'm in stockton!
hitlerdespisedcatsjustsayin
Found a new mascot for fizzy-pops grape blast commercial
subtlemrs
Humans are so cocky. None of us would last a day in the wild.
ThisIsGod
Speak for yourself
subtlemrs
Well I wouldn't think to speak for YOU, God.
JakeSnake197
fappingsloth
Wow, That is a largest black cock i ever seen!
userDisplayName
http://imgur.com/TYOvukq
Phoenalix
The fucking Australian guy scared of s chicken and a penguin is a legend in Aus
zaphod
that's a rooster, roosters will f you up man.
LoinKing
That's a cock and a pelican.
Hahanotlolgirl
Most of them stayed remarkably calm. Except pelican guy, that is.
JerrodM
That pelican wanted the booty
Buckbeak1486
Is it just me, or did the guy deliberately stick his rump out even closer to the pelican?
Zoronii
His rump was protecting his other bits.
DongSayaDae
Quite like how the other one covered him from the side so no humans could help
BigJT
I've been bitten by a pelican. That shit hurts.
ThrKingLion
Bird: Give me the booty, I want the booty....
Zetor
He has probably seen the video where a pelican grabs and swallows a whole turtle.
Vesane
Except, surprisingly, the Australians in the rooster and pelican clips
barbarianbryan
Rooster man is way better with sound and the full clip. He literally runs away screaming and flailing.
Screensniper
It's a huge mouth- I'd be terrified too!
mrsparklenoggin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AdrmfjAhn0 - said video with sound
TheGreatResurrectorofThreads
Omg you're amazing.
FlamingCh1cken
I love how he almost says "big black cock" but than catches himself
TheCrabOfTheTree
I have similar reactions to big black cocks
ICanUsername
Claim concerning said video confirmed
Framperton
holy fuck that made my night. i was imagining the chicken trying to fly him off to a nest of other gigantic black chickens.
BenedoodleCumberpoodle
Rooster man and pelican guy are the same people! He's not very good with birds, it seems.
Flyndaran
Chicken, I might say.
sumowoman
He's so good to them tho. I would have thrown the rooster into a wall and kicked at the pelican. A good scaredy guy.
SyrianBeachParty
Its the same guy
Waaahmbulance
Rotfl !
CeciliaBobilia
I thought this was a joke, but oh my god!
Therearetoomanyusernames
I KNEW IT!! He's gonna develop a bird phobia. Lol
SyrianBeachParty
Animals swarm to him constantly
Therearetoomanyusernames
I see! lol
KissKiss9999
I remember seeing the pelican one live, I think they sent him to that knowing what happened last time
Therearetoomanyusernames
HAHAHA That would be SO messed up!
PeterTheFabulous
the keeper lady was loving it
ThePlundererDownUnderer
No amount of training or mental focus can prepare you for a randy pelican
MrPorker
Have you ever seen that one with the black cock with sound? I know it sounds like a trick but pls search for it on googley it's worth it.
Caniserro
They all should have just laid back and taken it like a champ.
TheHolmberg
Is that what you tell yourself when your victims escape?
Caniserro
They say my victims don't escape. Stop by the house and find out why!
cracktoberfest
That baboon will fuck your shit up
Shineupordown
grape festival,sounds about right
ToTheBeeMobile
More like Lodi grope festival, amiright?
GregKennedy
ghosthendrikson
He's evolved beyond the need for jimmies.
Strikecraft
Once saw a baboon rip a poodle in half and use one half to play catch with another baboon.
RageonthePage
Hell of a smile, tho.
IPunchedCthulhu
Baboons are on my list of animals I want to fight.
MrBizarre
*Be killed by?
IPunchedCthulhu
Probably not, I'm nearly a 100lbs heavier than the largest baboons, I'd have a large knife, and I know how to grapple. I'm confident of 1/
IPunchedCthulhu
taking on one or two baboons successfully. Other animals on the list not so much.
elitekip
Lodi grope festival
Ismelledwhattherockwascooking
animals scare me sometimes, but I honestly feel with the right amount of booze I could take on that baboon with minimal damage done to me
LetsDoTheTimeWarpAgain
When I was in Africa, the *only* animal I was scared of running into was baboons. They travel in giant packs and will fuck your shit up
LetsDoTheTimeWarpAgain
I should mention that I was working hands on with cheetahs and there were confirmed leopards in the area
Snarkoleptic
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/charla-nash-chimp-attack-victim-3091674 just sayin'
Ismelledwhattherockwascooking
I know what I'm about son
mastercheif
I don't think you really do
Javred
That's the spirit
AbyssalGigantism
I feel like with any amount of booze your shit would get rekt
SlagStorm
Uhhhhhh did you see them teeth?
shbk
I'll hold your beer
DMGuy
Yoooooooou would be wrong. Baboons may look small, but those fuckers are *jacked*, and their bites are incredibly powerful.
Ismelledwhattherockwascooking
I stand by what I said and welcome anyone with a pet baboon to challenge me
BatSharkRepellent
Are pet baboons a thing? Also I don't think that's how it works. This isn't Pokemon.
Ismelledwhattherockwascooking
didnt your dad have a pet baboon.....you knew her as mom
DMGuy
BRB, getting Annie, we'll be over around 2.
mastercheif
The fight will be over in round 2. Annie by TKO. That's my prediction.
Randomcomma
I admire your confidence. One day, it'll surely get you killed, but it's still very impressive.
MostlyJeffGoldblum
"Too much". The amount you're thinking of is "too much".
hobojoe
hahahahaha no. Apes are incredibly strong and unbelievably brutal. You would be boned.
Ismelledwhattherockwascooking
I am the result of apes evolution, I win
LetsDoTheTimeWarpAgain
Baboons aren't apes
ToTheBeeMobile
False
obedientchoker
Chicken- "Don't look down... Don't look down... FUCKKKKKKK"
SuckItBlue
how can you not include the best one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4ML5ymlCFA
sunmoonstars13
Omg thank you so much for this!
IJustReallyLikeFrogs
hahaha! That choked response is the best I've seen since the guy that ran away from a rooster with arms above his head.
JustJoan112
*crying laughing*
thelastniceguy
That baboon was in attack showing teeth is not a good sign
Sogeking
Nah, he just a smug SOB.
R0GERtheSHRUBBER
"She's mine now. We shook on it."
bunnyrut
"and i have her boob"
gondring
No hover hand there!
Jonson71
They were at the Lodi Grope Festival
colinstu
Yeah. I was fully ready for it to rip her face off or something.
aceoaces
He takes the "g" out of "grape festival".
goodguyC
These were all funny except the baboon one, which would be absolutely terrifying-- except I think it's a trained animal....
IgnatiusJReilly2601
I still wouldn't trust it.
aromaticfable
It's only trained up until it no longer feels like it.
KootchieKoo
I kept waiting for that one to go horribly wrong. So glad she kept her face.
Willyzyx
Obviously trained to "smile" for photos and whatnot
yournewpoodleoverlord
yeah she must have been shitting herself XD
rile
Baboon just wanted to grab a tit...
LionHeart31337
Sorry to burst your bubble. He's a trained baboon, and was directed to "smile" Cause, you know, they shake hands all the time in the wild...
TheRobotWhoCriedHuman
Was he also directed to grab boobs?
LionHeart31337
All males are directed to grab boobs by the lord. BY THE LORD!!!
codedangerous
Not necessarily attack, but it looks like he "claimed" her and is warning other males to stay away. But yeah, not good haha
Yetanotherwaytoolongusername69
I think the baboon is scared of the camera(man)
JustJoan112
He definitely claimed her boob.
strcmdman
I think he liked her.
nononini
I wonder if she liked him back.
JustJoan112
Who down voted that question? Sheesh. She was smiling the whole time and was one of the few people who didn't freak out. She liked him (1)
notthatoneguyyoudontlike
That baboon is a she
ExecutorHideo
It looks like it has a dick... And ita actions say that he planned on using it...
notthatoneguyyoudontlike
Source: worked with Hamadryas Baboons (this species) for several years. Males look completely different. But she definitely fuck shit up.
sjmuller
Pretty sure this is an olive baboon (P. anubis), and it definitely has a penis, look again.
notthatoneguyyoudontlike
Also, you wouldn't be able to see a penis in this video, even if it was a male. Most primate penises are ridiculous my small. Humans are 1/2
woot000
Most primate penises are ridiculous my small.
sjmuller
A baboon's erect penis is about 4-6" long, though small in diameter. And you can definitely see it in this video.
notthatoneguyyoudontlike
a curious exception to this (2/2)
Jron7667
Maybe it was just trained to "Smile" on command.
IHadAMoustacheOnceThatWasAGoodTime
He's just claiming them titties.
myhappyanonplace
Is this possible: assuming the baboon knew it was coping a feel n was marking territory then he became aggressive as the camera got closer
BastienBorealis
if youll notice his red rocket was taking off, i think you're right
AntiTrollPatrol
Absolutely terrified of baboons
jackhaughey
Yet not one reply stating he showed teeth because he touched boobs!
LostPrototype
Who's brilliant idea was that? "Here, go stand next an animal that can eat your face."
Zlimeshili
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cordylobia_anthropophaga
everythingisalieexceptthestuffthatisnt
...Why?
BigGurlOhio
Why not?
Zlimeshili
Why god why
CeciliaBobilia
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/charla-nash-chimp-attack-victim-3091674
whyarealltheusernamestakenimpanicking
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
idrinkcheapbeer
That's fucking horrible. +1
azurepenguin
Who the hell wrote that tittle?
sandiegosd
fucking brutal. No. for real.
chickschicksandmorechicks
There is audio recording of the attack on the internet. I've listened to it and it's just as horrifying as you are imagining. :(
Sololop
I'm all for keeping animals protected, but great apes just are not really people - animals. Chimps actually frighten me.
MaggGyver
In the wild, they are a very violent species. Intelligent and self-aware, but quite violent.
chickschicksandmorechicks
They terrify me as well. Definitely not pets.
secretagentchewbacca
He takes what he wants
MrJ0ker
Did no one notice that hes sporting a red rocket? that monkey is getting all rapey
Wipwip
He knew what the fuck he was doing... he knew.
myhappyanonplace
Maybe I should have read the other comments before posting mine *face palm* lol
LiquidPoo
It's cool. She's a criminal anyways.
eveninthefuturenothingworks
Establishing dominance
MrJ0ker
Did No one notice his erect red rocket?
CrazyCarretta
Primates are always scary as hell
azurepenguin
Specially your dad.
myhappyanonplace
Agreed
myfatcathaslotsofhats
Yeah they always fuck up the oceans and enslave the animals