AoShin
142332
3027
61
The math checks out
Oct 4, 2021 9:13 PM
AoShin
142332
3027
61
SansAandAnguS
Wouldn't Satan promote him for being such an evil shit while on earth?
SleeperSix
That's an episode of Black Mirror I can get behind.
kebabpipe
That is intense
phrenic99
Holy hell , that's more evil than bezos ever dreamed of
Clickbot9000
That would get him back to even.
GreenScorpio
Damn Aaron your definitely getting a raise - Satan probably
MrHailstone
Well there is no hell, no divine punishment. Hes getting a nice grave, thats it. But we could all piss on it. Thats something
tub8tor
Doesnt sound as bad as other forms of torture
Thicksauceyweiner
What's up with all the hate? You don't have to work there or buy stuff from Amazon.
AgamemnonsMemes
The fact that it exists as it does is a travesty that should be righted.
letsbehonestimatwork
As someone who worked at amazon, who’s toenails fell off and then told “it’s because you’re not work hardened”, I approve.
unclesporky
This sounds like that one boss fight from Metal Gear Solid 3, am I right fellas
RummageSaleBubbler
Don't forget about paying rent.
maybeimamazed
I did the math last year. He has about $500 for every breath I've taken in my life. I'm 49.
ingridwebb88
He should have to earn the amount of money he stole f4om his employees by breaking labor laws, etc.
Becker37
Well the only hell is the existence we live in and those assholes are ruling it. I'm so happy to be alive..
1TrueKingInTheNorth
Is that 40 hr work week or 24/7?
FisheswithDynamite
And then...he has to deliver all those packages.
Bavic1974
His personal room 101!
melindarae
This reference is Orwell approved.
Insomnia297
Right, but you have to also make him pay basic expenses, so it's just actually forever and he goes into debt.
TheSlackerKing
yours is a ponderous chain
SlipperySlapperTheWhipperSnapper
Add taxes to the wage as well. It's only fair!
melindarae
So I'm teaching Dante's Inferno and I am going to share this tweet with them to illustrate the idea of correspondingly just punishments.
designmajor
You are awesome, friend. Wish I could give you all the points.
ispendtomuchtimehere
good plan, make it so
Spongeboobsquirepants
Don't forget inflation
allmypersonalitiesaredepressed
Engage
Flukybuckle
6,631,944 years so far.
Kensidian
Oh, two hours has gone by. Add a millennium or two!
mop82
That seems low tbh. I expected it to peek into the octuple digits.
SofaH3ro
HomerSimpson.jpg
2too
SofaH3ro
Upgraded to .gif lol
DavidBrooker
If you include inflation, its literally never. Hell is supposed to be eternal, after all.
IHaveNoEyeDeer
He'll be begging for the snail after a few million years of this.
Escheron
he has no toilet breaks, is always on the clock, and gets reset to zero if he pisses himself. if he has a bladder, then it will reset daily
rabensaga
On top of that just include interest and the amount will grow ever bigger
HeartsAndStars
Hey, no one said he gets to LEAVE hell once he does it.
bigwillybeamin6996
Right! He just gets transferred to a new department
whooptydoo
he goes up the wrung one step amd does it again, so amd so forth. any human rights violations reset to sq 1 no explanation... a while after
confanity
That makes no sense, honestly. Shouldn't a deity with *any love at all* want all human souls to learn, improve, and be redeemed eventually?
saevon
lol, yup yup…. yet somehow evangelicals prefer punishment over helping people.
w1n5t0ns
aka the plot of "the good place" a fascinating take on the afterlife
DarthVella
I do agree, but all you'd have to do is write in a redemption clause. Punishment fits the crime.
confanity
Any punishment that ends is, by definition, not eternal. And any punishment that doesn't, is broken and badly designed.
Equreuil
Something will always happen to be fired and go back to zero.
xrasser
they raise quotas until they are impossible so they can fire and not pay benefits. so the same will happen to him
DangerousNoodle
Really fuck em up on the last day.
Tr1gg3rH4ppy
We need you to taste test all these light beers in celebration of your last day!!
WesVTX
That sounds like a whole lot of Jeremy Bearimy's!
manwithsevenlivers
MonsoonPoultryHospital
That’s definitely a Bad Place scenario.
MACWE
kagurajacent
Just don’t invite him to hang out in the dot of the i with you forever
Ryebread91
What does that even mean?
WesVTX
The Good Place is streaming on Netflix. 4 seasons and very smart, fun show. Well worth the Jeremy Bearimys!
madgordh
The dot on the I, that broke me.
AZRAELSBLADE
THE TIME KNIFE
NotAHugeSpider
bandabears
lol, implying that Bezos isn't satan
FourLegsGood
He's a late boss you fight in Devil May Cry.
hirosjimma
People always forget he's down there for punishment too. God runs hell
CabooseNomerson
Satan asked for equality and tried to bring down god or being a dick. Bezoar is the exact opposite of Satan
TheobromineAddict
I think you could squint your eyes a little bit and see that Bezos is a nickname for Beelzebub.
glenngriffon
Satan is fair and abides by the deals made with him. Satan is lawfully evil, not evil evil.
glenngriffon
and really even then Satan's brand of evil can easily been as justifiable punishment towards deserving sinners. Bezos screws the innovent.
BernieMittens
Hey you leave Satan out of this! They only wished you the best !
Zreen
I preferred Satan back when he was still Prometheus
BloodDonor
Satan only is responsible for 10 deaths
fencer1964
Um…how?
Zreen
All other deaths are attributed to sin (human caused, not Satan) or God
BloodDonor
According to the Bible, Satan killed a grand total of 10 people but that includes the family of Job who he murdered at the behest of God
Zreen
Satan is directly named as the specific reason for 10 separate deaths in the canonical duology of testaments
fencer1964
Riiiiiight…by the authors of the book about how god is awesome and Satan is bad. Seems kinda sus.