509tigerfish
10652
569
16
Jul 1, 2025 1:56 PM
509tigerfish
10652
569
16
dendiverdown
How much lighter fluid will you be needing, and how can I be of assistance?
Legomaniac91
Maybe burn something Felon 47 actually cares about, like Mar a Lago.
Hotsauceman
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlc2sxZG50Yjhpa2dwaGhiemFwa2s0aWdycmZibnc4bHFkZDMycnhpbiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3oz8xZYlFzIadpCnPa/giphy.mp4
KommanderKayriel
As an American, I am several states down from that, and I might be asleep from the time. Chances are I couldn't get there in time to stop the Great Canadian Mounted Army.
slamEVIL
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1cGdodGhsMjQ0OG53MjZ4azRvNGUyamZuam5pdmhua2N0dnp4bWZodCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/ztujni1w6RR96/200w.webp
enderite
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTY1YjkxZmJlaGhmamhmZGRuajN3azF0ZjlwNXJnZGJod2cxMTVnaGw0cjd1YzR0ZiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/l1J9N8zrmYCfSrQFq/giphy.mp4
kiara8942000
Just make sure the best people are home when you do. 2 birds, one stone and all.
HarryBeauner
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1d2tpZmIxeGxocHB6MGRyaGdvanUzZW93ZTF2aTJpeTVtcWJmZnMzMSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/BjHIjM2YFC3rEUaMrw/200w.webp
werdegast
Be sure the nail the doors and windows closed first.
Wankbiscuit
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1OXhmcWk4MTB2bHFrZzB5YmVxczdrb3FvbW9zZzdrMmcxZmF6Z281bCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/CpgNjk2E54p7W/200w.webp
StepLurker
Less resistance this time around from the locals
FisheswithDynamite
Can you wait until there's a White house gala event thing where he invites all his sycophants and billionaire tech bros?
SteveD31415
Where are you now that we really need you?
MrNobodyLivesHere
Americans are already burning their Republic to the ground under Trump's command. Just grab a brewsky and sit back....
derekjohn
Just make sure it's inhabited next time.
TheDreadPirateBoberts
sure, just make sure what's his name is in there
Sfingks
As a Canadian, I'm getting tired of hearing this misinformation. Washington was burned by British soldiers who had just recently arrived from fighting in continental Europe. There were no Canadian militia soldiers, or British-Canadian soldiers present in Washington during this battle. It was entirely fought by British soldiers who were from overseas.
SocoFox
Please, ill assist.
Equitaur
On the same day, Washington DC was hit by an invading army, a massive fire, a hurricane and tornados. The freakish weather worked for and against the invading army and the fires.
Neednoggle
Yes, let's! It's okay to burn the White House down once in a while, as a treat.
Umkontodon
It was brown before. I wonder which color they'll choose next time
Imadethisaccounttopost
Please do it!
secretagentchewbacca
No! These were British troops. Trump was mocked in his first term for saying exactly this!
1potsie
Why? it's burning itself.
BlazeMarshall
Only metaphorically. We're talking literal.
SirKaill
Not fast enough
HeyWhaddaya
Yes, make it go faster!
alittleglassvial
And taking us with it, we need someone with experience who can contain it
unpunnyfuns
All that ketchup on the wall is both a fire retardant and a load bearing structure.
4vie
As a European, looking at the whole mess from afar... "Not the right way" (this is a joke, for the record)
Smidge204
I'm just sayin that if it did happen I wouldn't know anything about it...
Goronhead
Please do. it'd be really funny at the least
gilgameshismist
I dare you,! I double dare you!!
(Because that would be the funniest thing to my European arse)
OverthinkingThis
Hell as an American I would also find this fucking hilarious
Wankbiscuit
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1c2ZyZHp1NW1xaTI4ejcyNm5waWp5bTdjOHVvYWpiNnFienU5NmJ0MiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/s92f9UTsinNDy/200w.webp
Niagaran
As a Canadian: We weren't "Canada" until July 1, 1867....the day we're feting right now.
In 1814, we were still a purely British territory (#AbolishTheMonarchy).
Brits burned the White House down.
JonWallace1985
Yeah I was kinda confused because I know it was the redcoats that burned it. I forgot about the 80 years we were our own country and they weren’t.
JonWallace1985
1967, did we have something to do with that? Was it a “hey all those horrifying weapons America invented to fight itself… they’re done and been selling them to us no get out.” Type situation?
LordHosk
Ahhhheemmm...
We were British Canada until 1982. Crazy that we have been a full country for less time than I have been alive.
STINKPICKEL
It's also crazy that your nipples are older than your teeth.
LordHosk
Maybe your nipples are older than your teeth. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!
STINKPICKEL
You are correct, I don't know you but, Our nipples are on our body when born, our teeth have don't show up till later.
Sfingks
Yes, but the soldiers that burned Washington weren't British Canadian soldiers, and they weren't Canadian militia soldiers either. They were British soldiers that recently arrived from fighting on continental Europe. There were no soldiers from Canada present in Washington when it burned.
Niagaran
Prefuckingcisely
LocarioTheus
Please? This is a joke, for legal purposes. but please?
IDontKnowWhatToDoAnymoreAndImTired
Please don't. The White House is an important historic structure, filled with historically valuable documents, artifacts, art objects, etcetera. This would be like burning down the Smithsonian to get rid of a cockroach infestation.
The correct thing is to remove the infestation and burn that separately.
Artoris
For legal purposes, I found this to be ironically funny. The rich must be worshipped for the money their parents left them...and of course for the subsidies the government gave them.
sgnight13
LocarioTheus
Yoink
Darprice
Can we find a time with the majority of this admin in there? Joking (for legal purposes; FBI was already here, no need to include secret service)
RandomStuffsandThings
I'm pretty sure they're almost all in the capital building during the state of the union.
Dybidude5
*laughing in "american free speech"
wadatahmydamie
Please don’t. It’s a historical building with a lot of cultural value.
Instead, burn down Mar-A-Lago
TheLastBootyBender
But it's tradition 🥹
509tigerfish
I have a strange feeling Baron is going to burn down Mara Lago
squirrelgirl86
It would be sad, but if it's the only way, then I won't blame them at all for going for it.
wadatahmydamie
I wouldn’t either, I just hope they get the virus and not the place the virus spends 2% of his time visiting
TimbiquiDarkThirty
*TECHNICALLY* it was British troops sent from Europe after Napoleon was told, in no uncertain terms, to fuck off. They were battle hardened, professional soldiers and the US didn't have an answer to their arrival. And the fighting was something akin to the rugby scene in Monty Python's the Meaning of Life.
But it was a direct consequence of the US fucking with Canada, and being told, in no uncertain terms, to fuck off.
Anyway, this Minnesotan wishes you maple bastards a good one!
Elbows Up!
archon325
Muffyns
What happened to them after the whitehouse was burned?
colcat98
They left via Alexandria, which did a deal to not be attacked. And then Alexandria sent fireboats down the Potomac to try and burn the British ships. Which failed. It is also worth noting that Fort Washington, a pretty solid construction, surrendered after barely shooting anything. Also, the British declared that any escaped slave that made it to a British ship was then a free man became part of the Colonial Marines which took part in raids along the Chesapeake and freed other slaves.
causality
They attacked Baltimore where their general got sniped, their failed bombardment of Fort McHenry inspired the Star Spangled Banner, and then they attacked New Orleans where Andrew Jackson murdered the shit out of them.
ToSisPoS
Which inspired another song, you guessed it, Happy Birthday.
Muffyns
Soo burning the whitehouse is bad idea
StuckUpNorthSendHelp
Depends to be honest... if we did it today, are you guys gonna get mad at us or cheer us on?
jwhennig
Only worse thing you can do to the USA is touch our boats.