Not doing well mentally want to post my photography

Nov 20, 2023 9:38 PM

pmr1984

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762

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31

took this 12 year ago on the day me and my late girlfriend stephanie and I got Chinese food after we went to the doctor and confirmed the biopsy of the lumps i found were breast cancer.

was waiting in a parked car for my recent ex sheila who was getting a massage and took this photo in

I took the trains from rome to paris and recreated this photo i had taken 20 years before when o first went to paris with my mom as a family vacation from inheritance of an abusive dead grandparent.

always antifascist & anti rightwing world wide

took this on my first day going to portland state just before the pandemic he looked like superman to me

taken on 9/11/2022

taken at a bookstore in silverlake, los Angeles, ca

taken out of a hotel window near the pdx airport

taken during my ex sheila’s dragon boat race, i rented a 600mm lens to capture it and her performance

taken in Italy next to the pantheon

taken at the laurelhurst theater, portland, oregon

taken at a park near samsung’s Sheille hotel

taken i seoul korea

sheilla hotel kids plays

Pac West lobby building in portland oregon in downtown at 11:00am

taken from window of providence medical center mental ward common room, they allowed us to keep our phones. Hospitalized for autistic meltdown and panic attacks.

taken in seattle at volunteer park the sculpture is called Black Sun by Isamu Noguchi.

drive in theater near portland

taken during the 25th anniversary screening of Ghost In The Shell.

taken during the 25th anniversary screening of Ghost In The Shell.

bridge near traillerger park in portland oregon

the devil’s point in portland oregon

sax man at a strip club

taken at the baltimore wake up event in 2010 comgressman mafume

this is the guy they loosely based Omar from the wire on

sunrise in rome italy from a recent school trip

sunrise in rome italy from a recent school trip

fall at the crosswalk in portland

rainy night

not doing well but still here

www.pmr1984.com

These are pretty cool

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#5

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#30 I’m at this intersection so often lately (back and forth to knee surgeon’s office), but never at night. It’s beautiful! Your photography is awesome.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's a lot of photos with damn intense backstories!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

wait till you see the movie scripts I’m writing with all this disabled person free time in burnout recovery

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Those are some wonderful pictures, thank you for sharing

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

enjoy my time in Paris at the Efile tower recently https://youtu.be/YfXkXi87HoQ?si=4nQLzrHGrGubaJsK

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Wow. beautiful. :) Just bought batteries for my 20+ years Pentax.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

half of these are shot with iphone. the camera doesn’t matter so much anymore, just the lighting.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#3 Run Atreyu! v

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

we would get along

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Damn, that old man from Seoul looks like he's about to guide some anime protagonist to their destiny.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

he was homeless man actually. no one payed attention to him like he was a ghost. Ultra capitalist countries love homeless people in small quality because it keeps the rabble in line and producing and consuming so they don’t end up like one of them. Which is funny because van life and sleeping in cars certainly got glamorous in the last 10 years. I wonder why?

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Beautiful, organic, human. I love your shots. You have a great eye

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

thanks

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

this is art and a valid contribution to society, friend.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I loved every one of these!

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

enjoy my time in Paris at the Efile tower recently https://youtu.be/YfXkXi87HoQ?si=4nQLzrHGrGubaJsK

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Love it, especially the BW/colorized ones. Great work!

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

you might like this self video i took, when in doubt blood rave

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You got an eye for photos. These are great dude..

2 years ago | Likes 94 Dislikes 1

thank you enjoy w blood rave video i made

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

You have a great eye for photography! Amazing photos

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

enjoy my time in Paris at the Efile tower recently https://youtu.be/YfXkXi87HoQ?si=4nQLzrHGrGubaJsK

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

PLUS ONE FOR OREGONIAN!!! I’m literally at the airport sitting in a terminal waiting to fly to PDX right now

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

i’m actually from the dc beltway, moved to los Angeles then moved up here with a embezzling ex fiancee. I actually don’t like portland, reminds me of russian cities and is performative nice and highly traumatized. The community here act like too cool for school burnouts which makes sense since portland per capita has the highest rates of autism / adhd diagnosis

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Same. Got my stage 4 diagnosis. But I went to Egypt,et my now husband. Moved to Cairo, finished his paperwork and moved back to the US. Not better, but I'm still here.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

only crying gif that would work

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"sun building in portland oregon in downtown at 11:00am" is the lobby of the Pac West center.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

thank you i keep forgetting the name i keep thinking Pac Sun glassess store when i think of its name.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Damn, I love these photos @op. If you’re not doing well, getting more exercise and getting more sleep are two great places to start. I went from five hours a night to 7.5 hours a night and feel much better.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Seriously I’m glad you like the photos thanks for your enthusiastic “Damn” but i’ll make sure to tell that to my 3 months of constant night terrors and non stop uncontrollable panic attacks keeping my body in a constant mood swing from shifiting fight, flight, freeze, fawn reaction from ptsd because i’m sure generic platitudes of able body healthy living don’t fix burnout and ptsd for a disabled person. I’m on a two year waiting list for the therepy i need to deal with this. It sucks

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#1 depending on how your day is going, this could be a threat :)

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also great composition on these photos. I always see a scene and say "oh this would make a good photo", but then I take it and for some damn reason it just doesn't look as good as when I saw it.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

knowing lightning snd how to under expose and fix in post so long as you shoot raw. A lot of underexposed digital raw are easy to save so long as your iso is set low so it doesn’t introduce digital noise

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I assume you mean high iso, not low. But I have gotten a lot better low light pictures lately with my OM-1 I bought a couple years ago. Thing can go to a stupidly high iso and come out with surprisingly good images. And the autofocus rarely misses. I still do most still shooting on manual tho. Also had to learn that "just because your lens can open up to f/1.2, doesn't mean you necessarily should" haha.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

no i mean keep your iso as low as you can like iso 100 for daytime and maybe 3200 for nighttime. Make your glass fast and control with aperture and filters

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

@OP your photography is great, you have a unique style all your own. Thanks for sharing!

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

thanks for enjoying them i post more on my photography and videography instagram

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Right on! Keep up the great work!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

enjoy my time in Paris at the Efile tower recently https://youtu.be/YfXkXi87HoQ?si=4nQLzrHGrGubaJsK

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Take a look at my mental health post. It took me 6 years of finding posts that really spoke to me and made me feel even just a little bit better. Maybe it can help you too? Even a little bit counts.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As a photographer has been doing this a long time, I lament the loss of such standards of film like kodachrome. When younger exposed it slightly like a third of a stop, you got these gorgeously saturated colors. Bravo.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

thank you. I was trying to mimic rich photo color of the past but i hate working with chemicals so much. Its a sensory thing. I learned on film and 8mm and 16mm film from my mom. But for the life of me i don’t have patience for chemical development process. But again thank you. Its high praise to me to have it compared to kodachrome film

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Keep up the good fight OP. Having a creative passion and being able to practice it is invaluable. I gotta get off my lazy ass and put my ol Nikon DSLR to some more use.

2 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 0

Are you still on this amazing Nikkor piece of glass, a 300 mm f2. I got it at a military auction where they'd accidentally separated it from the rest of the parts so I got it cheap. I still remember the first few rolls of film that I did professionally with it, shooting bighorn sheep you know snow storm. It was gorgeous looking at the effects of snow lodged in its hair around its eyes

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oooh let’s talk photography on Imgur!!! Actually, maybe a bad idea to get me started. Once I start…

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

honesty half of these were take with iphone in halide app for raw images and then edited in half in adobe lightroom, the other half i was teaching myself colorgrading in davinci resolve. the key issue you have with photography is lighting. You could use a pin hole camera bit the core issue will always be, do i have too much or too little light and in chowing shutter speed / aperture speed and never messing with iso setting how do i control light?

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

No shame in that. Not too long ago you could barely attempt photography with low res shitty camera phones. Now the quality is insane. Still prefer my D750 and Pentax Super ME tho.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

the issue is people don’t pay unless you have expensive props for your equipment it seems

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There is no shame in raising ISO. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. A grainy photo is better than a blurry/out of focus photo.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

thats subjective and only on a case by case base.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I would say it is widely accepted that some grain is preferable over an unintentionally blurry or out of focus photo (of course there are many times when you would intentionally want blur). Also, cameras these days can cope with much higher ISOs than they used to without any noticeable introduction of grain. On top of that, denoise tools are also becoming super accessible and effective. There is not a lot you can do to fix a photo that is out of focus (though I’m sure AI will change that…)

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#1 imagine getting that if you'd been doing great lately.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

well ghost of elizabeth shue it wouldn’t have been as comically dark funny. I mean to find out your first major adult relationship is ending not because you’re a weirdo but because of cancer. Yeah that was shitty Chinese too. But she loved it, thats why i would go there to the place in owings mills, md with her

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ahh fuck man…. I’m truly sorry for your loss

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

i miss watching Farscape and doctor who with her. I remember working as a tech blogger and while she slept I would sit next to her in a recliner playing the onlive game service of assassin creed brotherhood and playing mass effect 3 with her watching like it was a movie. i bought street canabis for the first time because she couldn’t hold down food and she had been arrested for holding after the chemo failed the first time.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Great photos, I love your eye. I hope you feel better soon. There is incredible beauty yet to be seen.

2 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

not without a livable wage job. Life is on paywall. Everything costs money and when you are broken down like I am right now with burnout adhd autism & ptsd no one wants to employ a person who keeps having panic attacks and mood swings that lead to constant ugly crying. Trying hard to crawl out makes it worse. The judgment is the super hard part and i’m tried of saying just because i don’t look disabled don’t mean i’m not. i’m tired of trying to be stoic all the time keep happy shiney peep comfy

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I’m in Beaverton and related to all of this. If you ever want to meet up I’ll buy you a drink and you can vent to me, friend.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

i am down for a coffee if you want to meet at beaverton transit center some time. I’m right in goose hollow off the red line.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Sounds good, man. DM me the name of a place over there you want to meet up and I’ll let you know my schedule. We can all use some friends in this fight <3

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

my instagram is @pmr.1984 feel free to add me on there as i can’t send you a message for some reason via imgur

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

bridge near traillerger park in portland oregon - same shot was in "Wild" with Reese Witherspoon, I think a fox was across the bridge.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

yup. I shot it with a 600mm lens from a half mile. Didn’t know it was featured in a movie. Oh well

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not "Oh well". You found an interesting subject and framing that a professional movie maker also liked. Good work.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

goal is if i can get out of this panic attack i make a psychological horror movie about a millennial obese person trying to escape a pit before rich people eat them as a sacrifice because rich people and it flash backs on the captured person’s life that got them to where they are now. Its one of the 8 scripts i been working on for the last two years i got about 30% of the first draft done.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#4 sometimes anti-social, always antifascist! solidarity comrade ✊

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

star trek socialism in our time without the american eugenics war or nuclear world war 3 is all i ask

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

that is pure fantasy. earth joined the federation because a guy happened to test his warp (impossible) engine as the vulcans happened to passing by close that their sensors happened to notice it. without that event warp engines would have been used for war like every other technological advancement throughout history. I live in the real world.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

yeah i know this is the possible evil time line but no one has gotees yet. /s

listen even communism is a dream you need 90% high school education and reading level of your population to do that, more direct or mixed proportional representation and ranked choice voting to allow it to happen. Because regulatory capture has has us running a fascist lite government since the tea pot dome scandal

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

so what isn't dream? I mean there are communist that exist now (small scale, not states) but almost everything about why society works the way it does in star trek is not only not real now it's basically fantasy. inertial dampers? inertia is a fundamental force and you can't just "turn it off". exceeding the speed of light? I don't know if you know this but light has no mass while a ship with an aircraft carrier size crew has at least some.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

you have a dream now you are being an asshole like there isn’t going to have to be compromise unless lives don’t matter just the train that gets to the station there mao

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

the only way socialism happens in the world is if the UN starts taxing corporations and makes a unilateral universal basic income for everyone off international commerce and then but what about exploitation of foreign labor, we replace it with robots which will if they become self aware will have every right to kill us all

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

okay lol... the UN has no authority to define taxes, nor should they. should the countries that have been plundered by the Europeans also be compelled to pay their citizens while foreign nations steal all their shit? star trek is fiction not a political ideology... Jesus why do I have tell people this so often in this site?

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

hey i get what star trek is but your view of communism is just as immature because no communist country will exist for long without authoritarian strong men forcing their way up with daddy issues and people pleasing until they are in power or the capitalist countries will do whatever they can to cause them to collapse so use what you have and reform over revolution unless body counts and entrenched oligarchs with private military and militia is what you want in a power vacuum

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So we're just going to gloss over the porno, then? Alright.

2 years ago | Likes 79 Dislikes 2

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

dude doesn’t judge, dude abides

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

work is work. someone has to be in the stuff i watch

2 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

2 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

You talking about the strip club photos featuring fully clothed people? How are those porn?

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

They're probably talking about the photo caption where @op says they were filming a porno

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Ah thanks, zipped right past that caption, hence the confusion.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

zipped … hehehe

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

now the question you really want to ask your morbid curiosity is do you want to pay $9.99 to see part of it on my onlyfans?

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

what? do you want back story or do you wanna see it?

2 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

Story time

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

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2 years ago (deleted Nov 22, 2023 11:11 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Well fuck....literally. What a story!

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

and imgur deleted it and locked my account for 4 days for it

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0