Lonestar8808
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She is my special "Angry Elf"
I'm sitting in the living room, minding my own business, then out of nowhere there is a crash, and a lot of cursing from this lovely small person. Something about a conspiracy where everybody is putting things "high shelves", I think? It's sounds like mostly gibberish, to be honest.
PerfectGifComment
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bloodyhooves
someone else feels the pain of living in a world made for hobbits
ThePowersThatBe81
Your dick must look huge in her tiny hands. Much like when Trump jerks off.
Lonestar8808
SHHHHHHHHH !!! Don't reveal my secret !
spelkmeister
FutureVillain
I have a 5'1" ginger girlfriend. She can be the angriest elf in all the land when provoked. It's kinda cute
capuchinmonkey
FordPostfect
4'9" is 145cm, damn that's short
TheHelleri
Angry muchkins are difficult to understand.
Voltair
My sister is 5'2" and I pick her up and twirl her around whenever I can. If she was any smaller, I'd be able to pick her up with one arm.
swiftboat
As the husband to a 4'11" wife, and hella lotr fan, I can confirm this is accurate.
pegb0y
fragmentedfire
Short people are so mean cause they are so much closer to hell than the rest of us.
atleastIwasnt36
Op's response:
v
AlwaysTrustTheManInABigWhiteVan
You need to reach for those things for her. You need to be a big guy. For her.
Drunkonmilk
...im trying to understand how that picture has any relevance. Help?
AlwaysTrustTheManInABigWhiteVan
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/baneposting
jetflight
4'9? Just... just stay the fuck away from her son...
Lonestar8808
Whut? Her son, is my son ?
tattoolady1986
As I 5ft person, yes it's all a conspiracy, do you know how much of a workout it becomes just trying to get a glass for a drink? Not funny
ChloeRed
I'm 190cm (~6ft2), and my kitchen is built for me (upper cupboards moved up roughly 10cm). when friends visit, they have moaned about this.
ChloeRed
Sometimes in the "I can't get stuff off the top shelf" and "I can't even see the top shelf" reasoning, often with "do you have a ladder?" :)
CptRedBeerd
While you were laughing at a short girls anger, I studied the blade.
standingalone
I used to have a problem with high shelves, I took away their weed.
ImStuckInADreamWithinADreamInJumanjiDoingMyLaundry
HeyDontBeADick
I also have a shorty wife and am saving this for later
whatareyoulurkingat
philosiraptor: How do the dishes get on the high shelf when she is the one washing them.
Lonestar8808
The dish washing machine washes the dishes, and my teenage sons put them away.
Hotbeebop
My girlfriend can't wear heels cause I'm a little bitch
chairmanmeows
From a fellow 4'9" human, it's not a conspiracy it's real. Plus it's rampant and worldwide. Wake up people!
nommocnU
I'm a 6'2" human. If I told you I do many helpful things for shorter humans, would you look up to me?
Kidiri
As a 6'+ human. What are high shelves?
TrijezniMujo
Eh, probably not important if it even is real.
mthrndr01
It's only a small problem really.
TrijezniMujo
You could argue that it is a tiny problem at best.
TysonGoesOutside
I'm about 6'3" and my wife is 5'10" Our shorter guests need help getting cups and plates.
Kidiri
The most annoying part, is that both my parents are smaller, and our kitchen is made on their height. So the counter top is too low for me.
TysonGoesOutside
Low counters are a nightmare. Luckily my family is all tall. I'm actually kinda the runt.
Kidiri
Dutch?
ImgurNeedsMoreSmartass
So, you too couldn't find an entwife
mountainofpuppies
Maybe that'd why the ents couldn't find them, cos they were too small
spronkfu
Having just stumbled onto r/entwives this made me giggle
iKon2000
That's a thing?
RandomImgurian
Yeah, it's a subreddit for female smokers of marijuana.
Vortality
Rule 34?
manmanmam101
No
Kerrisimo
I was that tall at 10. I was adept at climbing the counters. Now I'm 5ft 10 in and my hubby and son reach stuff for me. They're 6ft 4in.
Lonestar8808
Your teenage son comes when you call him? How does THAT work?
Kerrisimo
He likes food, being chauffeured to places, and also knowing he's taller than me and can reach something I can't. He's 21 now.
Lonestar8808
Nah, it's gotta be more than that, because we tell our boys the same thing. You must be using Jedi mind tricks.
Kerrisimo
The force is strong in my side of the family. Plus I can shut off Wi-Fi & data.
Lonestar8808
So, I guess you could say that you FORCE them to come when called?
Eaglenez
How tall are you OP?
Lonestar8808
It's not how tall I am that matters. It's the fact that everyone else in our house is over a foot TALLER than HER that matters.
Eaglenez
So I cant ask how tall you are?
Lonestar8808
I've been told that I am short for a guy because I am a mere 5ft 10 in tall.
TrijezniMujo
I am 1.9 meters. That translates to like 6 of your feet and 4 of your inches or so... I'd probably find you to be comfortably high.
Lonestar8808
Yeah, I was "comfortably high", when I made this post.
JustAnotherLinkInTheChain
No, that's slightly above average I think
Eaglenez
I think so
Zenithilior
I can relate to this.
Lonestar8808
As the tall person, or the small person?
Zenithilior
The tall one! i tell her i cant hear her because of low flying aircraft.
Lonestar8808
You add insult to injury? Well, I too like to live dangerously ...
Zenithilior
Its all good, its just the usual shit giving that couples do! But yes, most of our household items have to be at my chest height.
Lonestar8808
I am reminded daily that putting things on a high shelf is "forbidden under penalty of death" (because she won't give me a divorce).
PoopFrosting
ayy fuck u bitch how's the weather up there watch those ankles mfer
lazerhosen
No, I don't pkay basketball. Why not? Because fuck you, i like my knees thanks.
CometLaHal
LELLLLL
Lonestar8808
I take it you are ALSO vertically challenged?
PleaseAMArelatedtomachining
yall dont know vertically challenged till you hit your head on everydoorwayyoufuckingsee, being 6'8" sucks sometimes. BLANKETS DONT FIT WTF
VioletPulse232
5 foot even... My boyfriends like 5 foot 9 ;( am super vertically challenged.
StrokeFacedStripper
I'm 4'11" and my boyfriend is 6'4". The struggle is so real.
MrsMarion
I am 5'2" and my husband is 5'10", I feel your pain!
racerxonclar
There are dozens of us! Go for the legs!
Fraidieponge
#TeamGiantsHunters
Lonestar8808
One of my wife's nicknames when she's angry is "ankle biter".
Metallorgano2016
My wife nickname is short round... just cause she's short
racerxonclar
As someone 5'3", I dislike you greatly lol
Lonestar8808
Yeah, I understand. However, you can take comfort in the fact that, as a person of diminutive stature, you will likely live longer than me.