SquirlDancer
126443
2325
69
Prehistory
This explains so much
Edit: Wow fp, I wasn't even going to make my phone dump public cuz I'm always too shy to post. Thx. Cat tax in comments because I don't know how to add. Send yourselves a big pat on the back for getting me through too many sleepless nights to count...
IAmLarge
#23
UlfhednarSkol
Alright, as someone who has bred llamas, they don't have just a knife. It's a fucking K-bar laced with poison that makes you shit to death.
billhoe
#12 The fuck kind of name ‘Lulabelle’
GoddammitMrNoodle
Don't forget Alan Rickman.
houseofnifty
I thought it said "You cant leave until theres a VISITOR" and was like "wellp im fucked"
TheOneTrueGosh
#26 I try to crawl inside the toilet. There's uh....there's not a lot of space in this bathroom.
RespiratoryRandy
I'd leave the fucking room before the tiger appeared, avoiding the victor only clause. I can go properly arm myself in the meantime.
jkwgn
It's"I started making eggs over easy, then..
IWantedOneOfThoseLongUsernamesTooSoIGotOne
#17 Yes and yes.
busychillin
Like a cat would thank you.
pleonidas
You have to scramble the eggs for an omelet, like wtf is that idiot on?
satchmo1729
#14 is valid. Cats weren't domesticated really. They just came into Egyptian homes for the mice and never left
Drewscifer
#2 You forgot that Llama might be Kuzco
StripTheFleshSaltTheWound
HAHA! I'm a llama.
DoYouGuysNotHavePhones
SquirlDancer
Holy sh*t, fp.
SquirlDancer
My humble cat tax. Didn't know how to add pic.
NecroNegro
Hitman monkey kinda looks like Putin
PotatoForScale
#22 they are cherries
FancyFrance
That lady’s hair reminds me of Falcor.
Hutchy01
The monkey in #19 looks like Putin.
sparrowace
wow didn't even know my town had a vineyard let alone a meme made after one of its products neat
N0ledge
#15 Cats were hunting mouse and rats for the early man. They are still used in rural areas for this purpose
Ahabsbeard
Those are cherries..
Wybo
Obligatory "Kanye said that, not Freddy Mercury"
MemedMe
Was looking at the comments just to confirm
stonebrood
"norwegian death metal" still like yes they do have a death metal scene but they're better known for black metal
jsktrogdor
#10 Hurr durr fuckin' easy for you to say Freddy. "JUST BE YOURSELF, IT WORKED FOR ME, THE MOST TALENTED PERSON EVER." Asshole.
FabulousAmpharos
It was Kanye West who said that, not Freddy
HappyEngineer
Seriously that Tiger one though
HappyEngineer
Open window, close curtain, draw crude picture of joint of ham, wait by drawstring...olé!
MAYORofTITTYciti
LordFusion38
He wary of the cherry
Fundoplication
He being scary @ da cherry
iplaywithatoms
MrGlayden
Cherry tomatoes...
UlfhednarSkol
Cherry tomatoes have a green "star" shape where the fruit and stem meet.
Knilore
Sorry I was sure as well and just as wrong. Welcome to retardation.
MAYORofTITTYciti
MAYORofTITTYciti
... are not what these are. These are cherries.
Rehoy
#1 how do you screw up an omelet?
JHawke
By trying to flip it 45 seconds after you DECIDE to make one... obviously .
venusofwillendorf
Step 1 be me
CrazyCatLad
I screwed up boiled eggs... Started peeling and realized I did nothing correct. So, I had scrambled eggs instead.
noReallyIamPrincessBob
Stir
TheSpeakerOfTheHouse
Use too many eggs, make it too big so it's almost impossible to turn over. Half turn: uncooked in the middle. Pancake flip: scrambled eggs.
Rehoy
Ahh, I've never had these prolems, so I was a bit confused, but makes sense