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FP Edit: I love FP! This is awesome! Thank you Imgurians!
Daeyelle
Best drug to have sex on is crack. Fellas, make sure you have some pre work-out before hand to help loosen up those snake veins
cathyH1818
#12 & 14. Yep
FlyRaven
Your not guilty
duhqueenmoki
I would like to know which drug is the most fun for sex though if I'm honest
AzurenDerp
#7 Looks like they cut the rest of the post. When asked about his ED, the husband introduces his wife as the source of the ED.
SneakersRobinson
deadknightdistrict8
This is good .real good
zeroexistence
#7 You're the cause and she is the cure.
miakkamisfit
Goddammit #3 is me every fucking time.
FlyRaven
Why is she helping her brother get cookies in the shower?
SilverFish0
If only we had more evidence like video to get to the bottom of this
ASolitudeGuard
Lana Rhodes, pretty sure it was sislovesme.
weregonnatopthatwithalittlecremefraiche
#1 25 yo and it's still a fucking punch in the gut, to admit when I'm in wrong. Luckily it's followed by an immense feel of pride though.
WhatYouMeanItAintReal
Cookie box one = Lana Rhodes
OgrusDominus
My dude.
vagimite
PotatoFaminePart2
can you ask her why she keeps her cookies in the bathroom please?
EatsBees
To remind her that they're laced with laxatives
Ctshmo
.
jkacina
.
RoloTonyBrown
.
IshovedlifesLemonsUpitsownrectum
.
plagued288
.
ItTookMeTooLongToGetAUsername
.
etidsNoodleCat
lurkylurkylurky
#7 - "This is my Erectile Dysfunction, her name is Susan."
itsahorse
AliBarber
Puree? Why the fuck do people think that extending the last letters of a word make it longer? Try puuure.
Crythulhu
regregex
It comes from predictive text on flip phones where you couldn't reliably duplicate the main vowel,but strangely could repeat the last letter
AliBarber
Really? I don't remember that at all
Iseeyourpointandraiseyou
Daeyelle
Now I've said pure too much and it sounds like something that shouldn't even exist.
tags0
Tomatoe puree?
blonx
Cuz it's cuuuuute
lama00
It made me smile because purée means mashed in French. Like purée de patates= mashed potatoes.
AliBarber
Well puree was stolen by the English language and means the exact same thing
lama00
Haha, I did not know. I must look like a fool.
AliBarber
Not at all. English isn't a language, really. It's just a collection of other languages smushed together to try and form some coherence
mondayaddams
THANK YOU
Rainquack
But puree is delicious.
AliBarber
Depending entirely on what it is
ShepardLives
You’re welcomeeeeeeeee
whitefoxkei
Silent E's guys, SILENT E'S!
fartalert
BUT HOW DO I MAKE THEM LONGER IF THEY'RE SILENT??
RavennaMagnus
Why are questions always about “would you save your ex?” Like y’all are exes for a reason fuck em keep yo money
tonalstates
I actually have good relations with all my exes but one, it’s funny but nice to know people care about you or viceversa just for it
MarkOfTheCovenant
Plus it's bail, doesn't get em off, they still have court. Prolly still getting convicted
realrealluckless
If I won a stupid amount of cash in a lotto and my ex needed bail, then I would totally front bail for everyone else till their trial...
Tofryn
Some people are friends with their ex. I’m definitely not, but some people are.
DeniseReade
I want one where it's like "Spouse spends a night in jail but you can eat anything you want at the buffet for no calories. Choose"
cbjfan
All you can eat buffet
brandsilven
I hope that if I ever have a spouse that I'd love her enough to spend a night in jail so she could do that. Seen many loveless marriages :(
EatsBees
Buffets are gross. But I have no spouse. Hmm...
ASolitudeGuard
Yeah I never understood the appeal of buffets. I’ve been to decent Indian food buffets, but other than that Quality>Quantity.
DeniseReade
This is why you only go to buffets where you can see people of that culture eating there. Never sacrifice food quality for quantity
SpidersMcGee
In jail or a holding cell? Would they know you made the choice for them to go in? It's important...
Himura82
Asking the real questions.
ABirdWalkedOnMyPillow
And if whatever they did merits a $23 million bond... yeah they can stay there.
SeeBeyond
And don’t you get the money back if they show up?
Eikre
You don't post bond because you did something. You post bond because they're still figuring out whether you did something.
ABirdWalkedOnMyPillow
Ok sorry, whatever they were accused of...
chefsoda
No, you post bond when you have been arraigned & indicted. The investigation should be over before that.
Eikre
A criminal investigation has produced no legal facts until a jury deliberates on it.
chefsoda
Legal facts no, by definition, but actual facts yes. And as more than 95% of criminal cases plead out, the jury claim is misleading at best.