ChromaticCorvid
161653
3126
92
I was jumping up and down with so much excitement, you'd of thought Maury just told me I wasn't the father.
I'm coming for you Aussie bastards soon enough.
Apr 13, 2018 5:27 AM
ChromaticCorvid
161653
3126
92
I was jumping up and down with so much excitement, you'd of thought Maury just told me I wasn't the father.
I'm coming for you Aussie bastards soon enough.
quicksilver1
TheZade
GarbageKoala
the original purpose is to throw around a tree full of birds, then kill one with your other (non-returning) throwing stick
MagicCactus
How?? Every time I threw one it just left me... forever..
WaterUnderTheRocketAppliances
It just went for smokes. It will be back eventually.
Slattefors
I threw away a boomerang 7 years ago, it did not return. Today i live in constant fear.
Cravanicus
Dad?
BaronvonSimian
Same time as I lost my homing pigeon ....... which, given that it didn’t return, just turned out to be a pigeon.
blockatiel
No, you don't. That's a shitty quote you have reposted that was not even funny the first time.
randomitguy
Mitch Hedberg
mdzmdz
Well, that's no good, is it; because when *I* throw things away, I don't *want* them to come back!
FletchINKy
True story: obtained boomarang. Wife kept trying it throw so it would return. After many failures, she successfully ranged the boom and 1/2
FletchINKy
returned to her perfectly, hitting her in the face, leaving a lightly bleeding line down her face. "I guess that's what I wanted to happen."
nastywomen
crickey!
JelloPutinPops
My parents bought me one as a kid, but they weren’t aware that lefties need ones made for them. It was the most frustrating weekend ever.
juzsayin
lol. I wonder how many people got it? For those people, I have left handed hammers for sale.
JelloPutinPops
Left handed boomerangs really are a thing, though. http://www.rangsboomerangs.com/boomerang-list/are-you-left-handed-2
juzsayin
Well, I stand corrected. As an old Aussie I thought it was an obvious joke. Learn something new everyday, if one has an open mind.
brknsoul
iirc boomerangs are curved on one side and flat on the other, allowing it to curve through the air when thrown correctly.
ff7cstrife
“Hi I’d like to return a boomerang? It’s broken. “ “Ok sure. Where is it?” “I have no fucking clue”
Uberdude100
I bought one for my cousins after visiting Australia. My first throw i threw it over a fence and it was permanently lost (bad area :/ )
DeliberateMisinterpretation
Now go YouTube some boomerang target shots. It’s a thing. I nearly shit myself.
Hyrkitekite
Yeh mate boomerangs are for tourists. What you want is a nulla nulla, and those bad boys don't come back.
Itisseventyalonghere
Bring it, cunt.
LeDarkMagician
8serene8
I hear it’s not easy. Good for you!
PolishSpaceProgram
You mean Amsish return stick.
BulkSausage
My Dad got a real one in the Army. My brother and I watched him try it out. It worked great, but when it was coming back right at us, my....
BulkSausage
Dad realized that it could really hurt us and could only save one us as we were on each side of him. I still have the scar to this day.
DvaeDrne
Throw it angled edge first, not the open side and BTW, it hurts like hell to catch it, they move fast and have sharp edges.
JamieSmyth
I once split my stepdad's head open by throwing a boomerang at his face
robertloblawlessthethird
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
robertloblawlessthethird
A stick
juzsayin
Nope- a fucking stick.
IPostedWhat
TheCheers
DatSEAsian4ever29
Perfect
SharkyMcSnarkface
ChromaticCorvid
I can't pick a fucking favorite
HoptimumThreat
You, sir... Are a TRUE gentleman
Imissharambesoomuch
If only he was there when then emus attacked
ChromaticCorvid
Oh my God. This made my entire fucking morning. You sir deserve a gold star.
JavaCofe
diiiinkleberrrrrg
Now that’s a knife!
NinjaCongo
texabilly71
came here for this! all hail the umungus!
DetectiveSherlockHolmes
Why does this not have more upvotes?
minibois
People don't appreciate art
shyasen
Over 30 throws you say? So.....31?
WaterUnderTheRocketAppliances
9,462,007
shyasen
That is definitely over 30
DickMcStiffens
https://media.giphy.com/media/nyh1ndz287dzEOvuMO/giphy.gif
sendnukes
So, what's the technique?
BiliboyJenkins
about 45 degree angle away from you, throw at the ground approx. 100 ft away. or get one of these https://aerobie.com/orbiter-boomerang/
NZSheeps
Throw it straight up
ILikeBigNamesAndICannotLieYouOtherBrothersCantDeny
Throw it up.
DeathDealerJP
it's all in the wrist
ImgurDemonym
All right Jack
Fueledbyanxiety
MidnightShouldNotBeSoLovely
Hate to be *that* person, but video or it didn't happen. Seriously cool though. I kinda thought they didn't actually come back.
LadyWidebottom
They do, but you have to get all the variables right. Have to throw at the right angle and it has to be the right weight, etc.
HiddenSanity
You _can_ make a boomerang come back, but when hunting that's not what you're doing with it.
ChromaticCorvid
Let me see if I can get a video after the next 50 attempts.
Positivefeedback
Yea i need this too. I tried and failed so much i cried. Proper Aboriginal wooden one? Will be impressed and devastated
iguanodont
https://youtu.be/jPj53n33F7Q
jqubed
Way to show the customer that it's not the boomerang, it's him
ChromaticCorvid
I actually watched this earlier for help. It was very informative
ataraxia
they're not supposed to. if you caught a real boomerang in motion, you'd shatter your hand. they're hunting weapons to kill birds.
Studoku
Still, having it land next to you is better than having to look for it.
z3lfmoord
Shatter? Lol they do make you ones and thinner wood ones you know.
[deleted]
[deleted]
ataraxia
boomerangs used for hunting will return if they don't hit a bird. still not a great idea to catch it.
salamader
I was also told this by a bunch of aborigines. They said it would be madness to try to catch it mid flight
ColostomyBrag
I've seen them caught. You've got to get your hand speed close to that of the boomerang before you catch it, then slow it down over >
ColostomyBrag
> distance. You grab it and spin around. It's just physics. When it hits an animal, the animal is stationary, so all the energy is >
ColostomyBrag
> transferred in almost an instant. If you catch it properly, you stretch out the energy transfer and it does little to no harm.
formington
The rest of the people at the golf tournament were not as excited.
ChromaticCorvid
Hey, had to go somewhere after the funeral home kicked me out.
Bstone1
Did you consider not pleasuring yourself with the cadavers?
ChromaticCorvid
Human meat
asm80dfa8sdfj
What's wrong with you? Why would that ever cross a person's mind? Someone not using a perfectly good body, sheesh.
Sijil
Why would they have considered that?
Minoxus
Because they're totally not the antichrist
ChromaticCorvid
Bingo
PamfromTheOffice
DooganWang
I'm not sure that could have gone worse.
SanshinDojo
HanYOLOHNIC
MinervaMeThis
Did she hit a water sprinkler?
[deleted]
[deleted]
Victoron
*CRITICAL
gatharen
Wtf came out of the ceiling? Was that the sprinkler system? I've heard about the water in those getting black and stagnant but never seen it
SovietRusalka
Yes it was.
FuturamaIsAlwaysRelevant
I'm around commercial sprinklers often, and can confirm that water is nastay
NotGarrusVakarian
As long as it does its job who cares I guess
blubbernugz
I work for a fire sprinkler company and all the crud inside the pipe makes the water black. Doesn't smell good either.
BklynPunisher
Having been around when they drain a sprinkler system, yes that shit stinks. Satan’s piss.
harleenVT
Yes. I dealt with this a lot. Pipes are black. Causes water to eventually be black. Just happens
meepmeepmeepmeepmeep
You wanna go, cunt? Run at me
UnderAverageGamer
I love how dropping a C bomb is a term of endearment for the upside down folk.
z3lfmoord
I cunt you
nastywomen
hush your fanny!
casbott
You wot mate ?
norticat
You should see our weddings...
ChromaticCorvid
Omw ya lousy fuck
PhilKenSebban
In this situation it was not endearing. But then it could have been. Sometimes we aren't even sure. Cunt.