Starting over is hard

Dec 20, 2016 9:03 PM

blahtotheblahblah

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832

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Just moved across country for a new job and to get a fresh start on life. As it turns out, I have no clue how others my age meet new people. Before in life, it was school, then it was the military. Transitioning back to being a civilian and learning how to meet new people has been one of the toughest challenges in my life so far.

But, it's the holidays! So in the spirit of staying positive, I will at least say this: I'm getting payed over twice as much as I used to, and I live in a beautiful area.

Try eharmony

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm hijacking this post. Just moved to Des Moines IA someone be my friend I'm so bored

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Moved to a new country 2 years ago, I know the feeling, but it works out eventually. You can do it Dave

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hah! Who needs friends?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hobbies.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

meetup.com is great.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well, since you have military experience, you'll be fine. U have already been thrown into scary situations with total strangers lol

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hide behind a bush. Wait for a suitable subject. Latch onto leg. Never let go.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm scared of this, too. Husband and I are moving cities in 14 days as I have a new job. Leaving all our friends here. Scared, but excited.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Check out meetup.com. you can search for meetups of things your into. Books, drinking, hiking

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I moved across country for a new job and then didn't get it. I think you have the easier problem to solve imo.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

I was nervous about that very thing happening, even though I made sure to secure the position before moving. Sorry it happened to you

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

that's the life..

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I use basketball to meet new people anywhere I go. Gyms everywhere and typically meet some pretty chill people. Other hobbies work to.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Exactly the same situation. In a new city for just a couple of months, this lonely silly season will be quite a test. Good luck op.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

try gym... bond with someone and invite them to hang out

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Similar story here! I ended up moving, and you get through. Try a new thing!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'll be your friend!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What state did you move to?

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Friends will come get yourself situated and handle your shit. Good job @OP and thank you for your service

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I suppose you're right. Hell, I'm still unpacking. And thank you for the thank you! Always warms my heart a little!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I hear ya. Making friends as an adult is super hard/weird >.<

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

It seems like the main way adults make friends is getting drunk with other drunk people. Not too different from the military!

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Lol. True. Once I started getting out of my woohoo party stage it was harder to meet ppl

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Tell me about it. I'm 27 going to university. Not an extreme age difference, but enough to make it a challenge.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It was the same for me. A few years made a big difference. If you ever want to chat, hit me up

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

True. I had to basically start from scratch when I got sober, not an easy thing.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I mentioned this to another imgurian previously but look at a website called meetup.com. it's a place to find similar interest groups (1/?)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In your area. Hubby and I also moved Cross country. we used it to find a tabletop gaming group. Best of luck to you and many blessings (2/2)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

go to the local bar. spot a fun group. buy a round. get best friends

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

No local bars unfortunately. I moved to a super small town in the middle of BFE, where the nearest town is 100+ miles away. Peaceful though.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

butt fuck egypt? I'm so glad someone else uses that expression

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I've always heard it called Bum Fuck Egypt, but same meaning, right?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

we're not friends anymore

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

Friends complicate things love alone online we are you new friends

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Lol, I've been loving alone my whole life!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You wouldn't happen to know the source for that...would you?? :)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Irs really hard in midwest. Even if you've been here all your life. People hate everybody.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

.......shit

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Where in the Midwest?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In the desert, surrounded by mountains. Beautiful actually, considering I've spent my whole life surrounded by giant ass trees.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That sounds more west and less Midwest. But I bet it's beautiful

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nah, it's almost exactly middle. Just more west than I'm used to, growing up on the east coast.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't move to London then. Eye contact is basically outlawed. Especially on the tube.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Wait until everyone is pissed. The night tube is a different world.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*except the night rube

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Haha, living in the South East US my whole life, that would be hell to me. Our default setting is smiling and small talk.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Va girl here. I agree! I feel uncomfortable making eye contact without doing a smile and nod!

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Cali guy here. I agree with your statement.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

@op : Community groups, networking through work friends, backpage orgies, class/sesions like kickboxing, and just other local events.

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

What was that middle one again?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Networking through friends?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That all sounds fun, but I don't know if kickboxing is for me...

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Any martial arts is pretty good for meeting people, IMO. Other hobbies, courses etc. are good too. For example, I recently got some new (!)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Anything where you meet people is an opportunity to make friends. Volunteer in your community or join groups for things youre interested in.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well, it's not for everyone, luckily you have yoga, ceramics, escort services, painting, and plenty more ways to meet new people each week

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Aaand now you have an inbox full of nudes, but not the ones you really want.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lol, nope, not yet. Besides, I thought only the women of imgur got nudes? No nudes for dudes.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm guessing if you ask nicely? Anyways.. give it time.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Haha, not sure I need nudes from strangers on imgur. There's plenty to see on the internet already

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Finally, someone else who thinks that. :)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

We're all friends here Dave

9 years ago | Likes 85 Dislikes 0

For the most part. Except for those "up vote money cat now for..." guys. And Terence. Fuck that guy

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Holy shit, how'd you know my name is Dave?

9 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

Is what I would say if my name was Dave.

9 years ago | Likes 89 Dislikes 0

HAH! Classic Dave!

9 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

Fucking, Dave! Every time, dude. Every time.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Because we're our friends Dave, of course your friends know your name.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Your*

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Update (since I don't know how to edit posts on mobile): made a new friend! His name is Jose Antonio de Cuervo! We're hanging out tonight

9 years ago | Likes 183 Dislikes 1

Play a sport? Go to the gym? College classes? Yoga? Adult continuing ed? VFW? Meetup.com for similarly minded people?

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I mean ... You could always disclose your general location. Maybe arrange an imgur meet up.

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

I don't have much to give as far as advice but I was in the same situation! Now I'm friends with the local bartenders and their friends!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Even met people in my same apartment complex just by trying to get out of my comfort zone

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I feel ya! Just did the same thing, but too broke to join things & fb groups didn't help. Lmk if you find a solution!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Since so many of us seem to be in this spot, I'll go out on a limb. Anyone in Ocean County NJ feel free to PM and maybe we can friend.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Haha silver or gold Jose? I know them both well..

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

His name is Jose Cuervo? He's my drinking buddy too!!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Strangely enough, met my current drinking bud on one of the posts here where people post their country, state, city. Get one going OP.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I feel you on this. I'm 33 - same job for 5 years, but still don't have hardly any friends. I dont live where I grew up or went to school

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I had to check the username to make sure this whole post wasn't made by me last time I hung out with Jose.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I too just moved crossed country with new job and no friends!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Where you at!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Pittsburgh, PA from Southern California. You?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ah dang. Vancouver here

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We should start a thread haha I just moved to Des Moines, IA

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lol we should!!! I'm in Pittsburgh, pa

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Vancouuuuver

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I used Meetup.com to meet new people when I moved to a new city. It worked for me. Good luck!

9 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 1

Ditto. I ended up being a co-organizer for a group. It's how I met 90% of my current local friends.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

which group did you find the most success with. . . also do you live in AR . . .jk . . .I'm lonely

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hey. Can I ask you what kind of events you went to? I'm just looking for more single people because all my friends have kids and I don't.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

go to ones that sound cool i reckon, ive never done it but the idea of it sounds neat

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I joined a board game group and it was awesome.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So painfully true - my last single friend just got knocked up :(

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

I've used it too! I find that dancers are good for it. Specifically Swing!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I picked several categories, but the one the generally worked for me were the happy hours because, as a introverted person, liquid courage h

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

elped. So, good luck and be patient. Cultivating new friendships doesn't happen overnight, but be open to new experiences and be an active l

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

istener (listener).

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0