Twatter dump for your dump, part toot

May 10, 2016 2:51 AM

phatsammy

Views

60255

Likes

3226

Dislikes

123

Why do the teens call me daddy

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

#2 it's Mr. Mime!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

LMAO about there being nobody shot after Obama taking all the guns.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Found the coconut lover.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I just look behind me like they were talking to someone else. Then act surprised they would think Im tall

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

@melaniee10

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Twitter is probably a valuable commodity because all of us wannabe comedians are writing tomorrow's citcoms for free.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

New pictures? Have an upvote.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Who wants Creamy Crumps?" Hur Hur!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's Ghastly!

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Funny Twitter shit

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I love imgur

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

ya could i get a ton of fucken leaves

10 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

I keep wanting that to be 'a fuckton of leaves', but it never is.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Gingerbread houses are so metal

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK

10 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sometimes if you say "wow you're short" to a short person, they will head butt you in the testicles.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They will head testicle you in the butt

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Can there please be more of these? I would like to die (of laughter)

10 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Ask and ye shall receive. More definitely to come.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm laughing so hard I'm thinking I may go into labor.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I heard of Anaconda Opportunity in the podcast Alice Isn't Dead. I wasn't aware it was a real place.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

In Montana, they are two different places, just off the same exit. Population of about 9k, Source-Live there.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm trying REALLY FUCKING HARD to get interested in Alice isn't dead and Night Vale, but they're so undefined it's really ahrd.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hard. God damn fingers.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#10 The Flaming Lips did it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zaireeka

10 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

That's actually pretty cool.

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*insert the more you know* jpg

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

- the handles are all broken, it holds only rotten fish, and fuck you the handles are venomous, too

10 years ago | Likes 119 Dislikes 1

And you know what, for good measure these things will literally have no sentience or purpose except to occasionally fuck people up.

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Unrelated to post but this mobile update that shows gifs in the comments will ruin Spanish Inquisition & Rickrolling fun for everyone @sarah

10 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 3

And you have to pee on stings to make them stop hurting

10 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

fuck

10 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've always wondered that about Viagra commercials, they're doing mundane things, how does that make them want to take the pills?

10 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

Hahahaha that one killed me.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I guess showing a throbbing avenger on daytime tv is inappropriate?

10 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Its probably to reinforce the guy mentality that it could happen at anytime, anywhere.

10 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

That your dick won't get hard at anytime anywhere?

10 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Damn, that sounds mighty convenient, because sometimes it actually does.

10 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0