ChiefBeef32
141180
2607
158
Holiday
May 27, 2017 12:21 PM
ChiefBeef32
141180
2607
158
sentientseven
SunnyDbag
http://imgur.com/couQ6Hz
sittingherethinkingthinkingimsittingherelisteningtoyou
Reminded me of reading Trainspotting.
Estoyp00ping
12visionsdancing
I need me a crazy Scottish man. I could listen to this insanity all night.
realbrickwall
What the fuck is an ecto swedge
Lavitzzzzzzzzzz
it's a potato wedge
ShinySephiroth
MFW trying to decipher the words
guntbagmunkball
"No please okay I'm sorry I mean potato wedge" the wee cunts quick I'll gie him that!
underlord2132
Last ones a big fucking man ain't he? Threatening to punch his parents because he can't be fucked to clean up after himself like a human.
aurthadi
A dinnae ken what you lot are confused at. Ah understaun it perfectly.
c0okIesan
StrawberryPrincess92
Obligatory
turtleneckin
Careful who you call English pal.
FortressCraft
Yes, I had to look up 'ecto swedge', and it's either Ecstasy or a knife, possibly a hentai-themed knife.
Bootsy81
It's ecstacy. Nothing beats gettin pure swedgered and gettin right on one. Just wish you didnae get that eckie jaw ken?
SomeDetroitGuy
I'm not drunk enough to understand this.
ZaWithDude
I have a Scottish friend. He's fun to talk with while gaming.
ivanabetterusername
Is Mr. Muscle the Scottish Mr. Clean?
RadishIsAMeat
Yeh he has just made his friend order oven cleaner instead of protein.
pandorafalters
"Friend"
hanrobxxx
Nearly. Mr Clean is called Flash in U.K. Mr Muscle is an unrelated brand of cleaning products
WhiteCheddarCheeto
Conner be neadin he arse whipped!
ChefKnapp
wit a weapon he is
EvilGreatApe
With a fucking bicycle chain.
schlabbalappen
I'd prefer jumper cables
Wolfe65
Starting to get really good at reading these. I may actually be able to hit on scottish women soon
Bootsy81
Aye, but why would ye want tae? Huv ye been roon the east end a glesga? Fuck that.
Wolfe65
but ifn the bird come ov fa Colley and decides tae shack wit Patriot Angus fae term. ye fookin right' d woul
RegisteredBoobInspector
Great post ya focken weapon
Marximus
"focken" is irish, no scottish.
kklaine
Ya absolute sprooter
sonicloop
Most Scottish Twitter dumps are Glasgow Twitter dumps.
TheCabbageHorse
Couldnae be more true, Glaswegians are true wordsmiths
fuzzyjew
Are Scots really that rude to their families?
friedbunnies
Well they are white, so... it's a fair question
Bootsy81
Depends how much we've had to drink.
Andolomar
Noooo... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E7ScwCbGLU
UltraBooster
Tae fawk is ah ecto swedge?????
themuttonisniceandlean
Ecstasy
SuperSecretAsianMan
Will someone translate these please?
doggosforthewin
Git reked ya feckin mongo
Bootsy81
Honestly, I started to then realised theres fuckin loads of them and gave up. Sorry mate, can't be arsed.
RainbowGandalf
At least the long one
Panixs
What's going on mum you goblin you are really annoying me. It was only ten pounds it's not like it's going to make you bankrupt. (1)
Panixs
If anything you owe me money for the bed. Don't come in my room either because I will swing a punch at you. (3)
Panixs
I will give it back to you when I get paid. In fact I shouldn't even give it back to you after the fiasco the other night. (2)
youmoron
@op i read 4 of these not understanding anything being said and started feeling really old. Then i read the title.
fastjeff
......... umm ...... sprooter?
Bootsy81
We take great pleasure in making up silly insults that sound offensive but are really nonsensical. It kind of a national pastime. Ya wingnut
crispypancakes
With the correct delivery, ya teapot, almost any noun, ya skateboard, can be used as an insult, ya rocket.
adaquo
lol
Gheebuttersnaps12
Me bird?
crispypancakes
If it said me bird, instead of ma bird, its an english tweet. Naewhere in scotland wid ye hear some cunt say me bird.
Wolfe65
woman, usually someone you got involved with. Bird because..Tit. Like the bird.
LipMyStockings
My girlfriend
Gheebuttersnaps12
Ok thanks
Bootsy81
I have to be honest, Scotland is a fucking hilarious place to live.
aesthesia1
so do the Scots have official spelling for their words or do they just spell things a la bone apple teat?
EpilatorAlligatorBothReduceGrowth
It's abit of national pride in using and knowing phonetics as it is different from oppressors English.
TooTightSpeedo
We write normally and speak English most of the time but sometimes we write phonetically in our accents. It's more fun.
crispypancakes
We have our own language, its called scots. A lot of the words used here are slang. Scots lemds itself to phonetics very well too.
lonelylinguist
Have an un-downvote. Scots is a language at one end of a dialect continuum with Scottish English at the other, & often spelled phonetically.
lonelylinguist
(For reference, the comment I replied to was downvoted, so I was defending it.)
Bootsy81
Most of us can write normally when required. Job applications etc. But wi can aw write like these radgies an unnerstaun whit thur sayin ken?
aesthesia1
I'm starting to get the hang of it. Sadly, my english accent is pretty flat, so I cannot partake of the fun.
slurplethepurple
Try reading Trainspotting... Scots gets easier if you read it phonetically. Although I'm from Edinburgh and Glasgweigians still confused me
EpilatorAlligatorBothReduceGrowth
I was at a standup show when I was living in Aberdeen and a Glaswegian was on. I had to concentrate so much I forgot to laugh.
sweebish
JohnnyLawlessEsq
IS NO THA ARD TA UNDERSTAN, YA FACKIN STORMTROOPER
RandomImgurian
Honestly don't see why people have a problem reading this, I can read it fine and english isn't even my first language.
omaliesantom11
That might be why tbh
DaveFondale
RosieThaRiveter
I watched Jamaican television once and I felt the same way
cwoni
'at's not Inglis, 'at's Scots. Ither leid, seemilar but a bit unalike. Muckle fowk be thochtit ense, but it's fundamentally na Inglis.
LipMyStockings
stevencleaven
ChiefBeef32
Would translate them all into proper words, but I don't want to. It would also ruin anything remotely funny with them.
ValdeFortis
The ones I could translate were funny. I find it easier to read with a Glaswegian accent
ReverendShitlord
Exactly my thoughts about COD.
downofathistle
The fish in the metro machine is Geordie, not Scottish. Good dump though, very satisfying. Ta pal.
RadishIsAMeat
I can understand them all but I am English so not a huge surprise.
CziltangBrone
What's a sprooter?
Attor115
.
conniethesleepsec
Nothing, what's a sprooter with you?
stonecoldfancy
You're a sprooter.
CziltangBrone
Well, I am a bastardy ol' git, but I dinnae ken what's a sprooter.
whimsicalsamurai
i can sorta get the gist of it, but i may need sone help on some of the lingo
RadishIsAMeat
Which ones?
whimsicalsamurai
all of them
cooperskeeper
Cannae
AEvilNyanKat
Can not
cheeseburgersmakemehorny
Some of these I really can't tell what they're trying to communicate
CometLaHal
yeah some are beyond learning just from these dumps xD
Lavitzzzzzzzzzz
9/10 times they're insulting their mum
ItWasNotMeItWasTheOneArmedMan
Which ones?
cheeseburgersmakemehorny
#2
ThorinMapleshield
.
ItWasNotMeItWasTheOneArmedMan
First guy appears to just be raging, second guy comes in and gets in his face about it, and the first guy shuts him down immediately cuz his
ItWasNotMeItWasTheOneArmedMan
Last name is stupid.